One month later…
She lay in their cold bed. Her stomach empty and hollow, as well as her heart. He was downstairs awake no doubt, he hadn't slept since it happened, he hadn't spoken since it happened. He couldn't face the facts. It was his way of telling him it was his selfish fault, it was AJ's way of telling her she wasn't ready to deal with another baby, it was society's way of being cruel.
They hadn't talked about anything yet. When she came home from her night stay at the hotel, she still never forgave him, but she got along with him, for their children's sake, for the sake of carrying their next child.
Nothing could have ever been more tragic, these past few months had just killed her inside. She figured that she was given this baby as a gift, that something good had come out of everything, but then it was tragically ripped from her.
She hadn't shedded a tear however, she was all out of tears to cry. She tried to accept it, accept the fact that they just weren't ready, she still needed time to heal from the wounds Joe had gave her, she wasn't healthy enough to keep the baby happy inside her. The paternity test probably wasn't anything to do with the loss, she was too stressed and unhappy.
She got out of bed, swinging her legs to the side, still having a hard time thinking that she did have a baby inside her, and that it was gone. She remembered that night, getting out of bed while he still slept, going into the toilet and leaving with blood on her hands.
She was glad they never told anyone yet, she couldn't face having to tell them all, she was stressed enough as it was. She got out of bed and walked out of their room, heading downstairs quietly, estimating that it was about 4am, walking into the living room, looking at him sitting on the couch, his hands in his face.
She knew he would live with the guilt of this forever, but she didn't want him to.
"You haven't been to bed." AJ said, walking over and sitting down beside him, not knowing how he could go days without sleeping.
Punk nodded as he took his hands from his face, looking round at her, "I'm fine down here." He said.
"You're not though, are you?" She said, brushing his hair from his face.
"This is too much." Punk shook his head, not knowing how AJ was still surviving through everything she had been through.
"We just aren't ready to have another one. Don't blame yourself for this." AJ said, she couldn't stand him thinking this was his fault, even though a month ago she told him it would be.
"But you said…"
"I know." AJ nodded, "I was angry then, of course I didn't mean it. I know how much you wanted this after we found out it was yours, but we still need time to heal, I need time to find myself again, I could have never carried a baby in this state, even if it was yours." She said, "This doesn't mean we'll never have another one, it just means it's not time to do it right now." She said.
"I thought this was the good coming out of everything, that after everything we've been through, everything you've been through, we'd get something good out of it." Punk said.
"Do you know why I married you?" AJ asked him, watching him look at her, "Because you have patience and are willing to give up your time to make sure I am ok." She smiled, taking his hand, "I don't need you to be a father again, Phil. I need you to look after me." AJ said, a tear rolling down her cheek, she knew this was for the best, it had to be, of course she was upset, devastated, but it wasn't the right time.
Punk wrapped his arm around her and brought her into him, hugging her tightly, "I'll always look after you." He said, seeing the light she was shining directly in front of him. This wasn't his fault, maybe the paternity test did have some effect on the loss of their baby that he influenced, but AJ said it herself, she wasn't fit or healthy to be carrying a baby, she still wasn't back to one hundred percent yet, she was still scared and aching, she couldn't feel that whilst being pregnant. He still hadn't got to touch her yet, they needed to overcome things before they even thought about having another baby.
He was still upset, so upset. But it was for the best, AJ had too many demons inside her to have a baby, demons that had clearly caused the loss of their third child.
The next morning…
After falling asleep together on the couch, AJ and Punk were both woken up by the sound of Punks phone ringing beside them on the floor. He reached for it as AJ stretched and rubbed her eyes, tucked into his chest.
"Hello." Punk answered in his morning voice, his hair covering his forehead, not slicked back like it usually was.
"Hey man, look outside your window…" Dean said.
"Dean, what is it?" Punk sighed.
"Look out your window." Dean repeated.
Punk just pointed to the phone and rolled his eyes to AJ, slipping off the couch as she continued to lie on it, watching Punk go to the windows and look through the closed blinds.
"Oh no." Punk sighed, covering the phone with his hand so Dean wouldn't hear it.
"What is it?" AJ asked, sitting up.
"Come here." Punk waved her over, tucking her in front of him as they both looked out the window.
"They haven't." AJ looked up at him in disbelief, both of them staring at the move in van across the road from them, watching Dean unload boxes into the house that was up for sale across from theirs.
"This is going to be a nightmare." Punk held his forehead and sighed, walking away from the window and sitting back down on the couch.
"It won't be that bad." AJ shrugged.
"I mean… what's next, is Seth going to move in next door?" Punk chuckled.
The next week…
"You have got to be kidding me." Punk stood in front of the house next door to him, folding his arms as Seth stood beside him.
"Right next to my big brother." Seth wrapped his arms around Punk like a child.
"You couldn't have picked a different house?" Punk questioned him.
"No, we wanted this one. That way we can just walk into each other's house." Seth smiled.
"No…" Punk shook his head like Seth was an idiot, "Don't just walk into my house. Bill and Janus don't walk into my house." Punk pointed to their other neighbours on the other side of their house.
"But Bill and Janus are shit." Seth shrugged, "This is good." Seth patted Punk on the back, "You got Dean across, and me beside. You can't go wrong." Seth smiled, walking away to the moving van to collect some more boxes as Punk just stood, shaking his head and wondering why he had such clingy friends.
Later that night…
"Why would they do this though?" Punk sighed, plating his kids dinner up who sat at the table with their mother who was actually in normal clothes for once, not living off sweat pants and baggy t-shirts.
"Oh be nice, Phil." AJ shook her head, "They're just looking out for you, I think it's nice that they moved out here for us." She smiled.
"You don't understand. They're going to be in our house twenty four seven." Punk sighed, putting the kids dinner down for them.
"The way I see it, we can get more alone time, they can watch the kids." AJ shrugged, "Eat your vegetables, and stop throwing them on the floor." AJ warned the twins, sitting across from them.
Punk nodded his head side to side, supposing that was the only good outcome of Dean and Seth moving so close to them.
"I was wondering if you wanted to go away for the weekend, just me and you, go into town and stay at a hotel. Just for some space and time to ourselves." Punk suggested.
"That sounds nice." AJ smiled, "Charlie!" AJ shouted, watching her son throw his peas one by one on the ground.
"C'mon pal…" Punk said, picking up the contents from the floor and throwing it in the trash, "Stop throwing things on the floor."
"Since Dean and Renee have Faye, Mr Rollins can have the kids." AJ smiled, standing up and walking away from the table, putting her empty glass in the sink and walking back over to Punk, wrapping her arms around him, "I know pretending like nothing has happened is hard, but we'll get over this." AJ nodded, reaching up and pecking him on the lips.
It was still a little hard for both of them to try carry on with their lives when they had lost something so precious and important, but for their relationship to keep growing strong, they had to be strong.
A few days later…
"They'll eat anything and if I've forgot to pack any of their toys, here's a spare key to our house." AJ handed Seth as she dropped the kids off, strictly speaking she only walked across a few inches of grass and knocked on their door.
"Ok… how long are you going to be away for?" Seth asked, never having looked after the twins for a lengthy time.
"Just the weekend." AJ smiled, "They're good kids. Sam still has trouble sleeping sometimes, so I put in some medicine that we give her to help her fall asleep, just in case she is any trouble." AJ said, never having left the kids for a long time, apart from the obvious when she had no choice, but she knew they were safe with Punk then.
"Alright." Seth nodded, "Well, you two get going, have fun." Seth smiled, Charlie in his arms, Sam already having ran off into the house to find Paige.
"Ok, thank you so much, Seth." AJ smiled, "Bye baby." She said, planting a kiss on Charlie's cheek, Sam not in view to do the same.
She walked down the drive way, hearing Charlie shout bye to her as she got into the car where Punk was.
"Ready?" Punk asked her as she put her seat belt on.
"Yeah." AJ nodded, "Let's go." She said, relaxing back into the seat as Punk pulled away from the street.
This was what they needed, a weekend to themselves where they could just talk and open up to each other, it would be better for their relationship and it would help with dealing with everything had went on, maybe she'd even be ready to take him back into bed like she used to. She just had to take one step at a time.
She felt Punk rest his hand over on her lap as he kept his eyes on the road. They were born to be strong people. They needed this time away to find each other again and to find methods of getting over their loss. It was too hard to do it with the kids at home and also now, their four friends constantly in their home.
Time away is definitely what they are needing.
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