Hearts of Gold

25. Lost and Found

Daniel Collins sat on his couch and stared at his television, his arm wrapped around his wife, who was curled under a blanket asleep against him, and he cried. He was lost in memories still so fresh and vivid in his mind. Memories of a rich girl at a fancy resort full of old snobs and their young snob children, only she wasn't like them. She was kind, and compassionate, and as she looked in the eyes of one lucky outcast, she didn't see the trash so many others saw. She saw a good man full of life and fear and want.

She saw love.

Now, after so many complications in their relationship, just when all seemed lost, he knew that hope was on the horizon. They had changed each other's lives for the better, and though the end may be near, Daniel was ready to treasure every moment he had left.

Which was why he adjusted the volume one or two clicks higher, just in time to watch Patrick Swayze walk into the talent show, say his famous line, and for Daniel to whisper it with him: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Grace stirred and slowly opened her eyes looking up at him. She couldn't help but roll her eyes and smile. She yawned before whispering, "I can't believe this movie still makes you cry..."

Daniel shrugged, grabbing a tissue and dabbing at his eyes as he smiled. "Can't help it..."

Grace sighed and took his hand in hers, and she began to rub it soothingly. "I know, honey. At least it's a good cry..." She whispered as she looked to the TV to watch the last big dance scene with him. She much preferred a good cry to a bad one. She winced at the brief reminder of sad, scary memories and pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the music.

A few moments later, Daisy came up from her room downstairs and tiptoed into the living room. She leaned over the couch, tilting her head as she realized her mother was actually awake. "Mom...? Did I wake you up?"

Grace turned and smiled up at her. "Hey, sweetie. And no, I was awake already." She took a deep breath and sat up straight, stretching her arms a bit as Daisy walked around and sat on the couch beside her. She embraced her mom in a warm hug, and smirked as her dad glanced over at her with teary eyes and a bashful smile.

"Hi, Daddy," Daisy said as she looked over at the TV and then back at him. "You know we're going to run out of tissues at this rate."

Daniel shrugged sheepishly and replied in that low, gravelly voice of his, "I know, honey..."

Grace sighed and laid her head on her daughter's shoulder. "What's up, baby? You need anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. Although..." Daisy trailed off, raising an eyebrow. "I was wondering one little thing..."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Wellllll... I was just thinking, since your hair's long enough now for you to dye it..."

"Watch it," Grace sassed playfully.

"Just, I'm old enough, I think, and like... I was thinking, maybe we could dye my hair some time?"

Even her father looked over at her then, curious to see where this would go. "What color were you thinking?" her mother asked as she reached up and started stroking her daughter's straight black hair.

"Um... I was thinking, uh... How about green?" Daisy crossed her fingers and flashed her mom a big, hopeful smile, even as her dad stifled a laugh.

"Green, huh?" Grace lifted her head and raised an eyebrow, staring at her daughter with a little smirk and narrow eyes. "We'll see. I'll think about it, alright?" Deciding to change the subject for now, she took Daisy's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "So! How's everything going with your new friends? Is Helga still sick?"

"I guess she's a lot better. Tomorrow's her last day off."

"Well, that's good. Poor thing, I hear it's a nasty flu going around. Did you bring her the little care package you made?"

"Um... Kind of." Her mom gave her a confused look as she cleared her throat to continue, "I gave it to Arnold, and he brought it to her. I would have brought it myself, but she's very picky about who gets to visit her. She's really only allowed Arnold to see her, and Phoebe who's been her best friend for years. Heck, Arnold only just got permission to go there and he's been the love of her life for basically forever."

Grace tilted her head at that. "I suppose I can understand being a little self conscious if she's sick, but with her feeling better... Let me guess, she's embarrassed about something. Doesn't want people over... Could be her house, or her room? Thinks the place is lame, doesn't want anyone to see it?"

"Pretty much. You know she lives at the Beeper Emporium, right? That's her dad's business, and apparently it's not doing so hot."

"I thought that place was closed down," her father chimed in as he kept his eyes on the TV.

"Goodness, the poor little girl..." Grace held her hand over her heart as she inferred the kind of life Helga must have if she and her family are stuck living in a place like that. She thought back to her younger days, to a time when her bedtime pillow would slowly sink down between the car door and the back seat she slept on over the course of the night. A time when she always wondered why her meals were so often cold and stale, up until she finally saw her mother and her aunt both rifling through a dumpster. "Do you know how bad it is?"

"No, but I'm hoping she lets me come over after school tomorrow. I'm thinking of doing something nice for her."

"Oh? What do you have in mind?"

"Well..." Daisy smiled bashfully and looked down at her feet as she shrugged her shoulders. "There's this book us girls like, Helga and Phoebe and I, and the sequel comes out tomorrow, so..."

Grace stares at her curiously for a moment before a light goes off in her head. "You mean that vampire book? I thought you were saving your money for that, sweetie..."

"I was, but... I can always save up for it again."

Grace smiled proudly and pulled her little girl in for a hug and a kiss on her head. "My gosh, you are just the sweetest girl in the world..." Daisy hugged her warmly in return as her father looked on with a smile of his own.

"Why, thank you!" Daisy said with a little chuckle as she pulled away, though she kept one arm around her mom to keep her close.

Grace rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're welcome, honey... By the way, are you waiting to give it to her the next day, or do you plan on getting it to Arnold somehow so he can give it to her tomorrow...? Since you can't visit yourself, that is."

Daisy shrugged. "I think I can get her to invite me to her place. If anyone can convince her, it's Arnold." She then gave her mother a mischievous smirk and continued, "Let me work my magic."

"That's my girl," her father said with a laugh.

Daisy stood up then. "Well, I hate to cut it short, but I'm still putting up posters in my room. Hopefully if I get enough done, maybe I'll invite everyone over here."

"Yeah?" Grace was surprised to hear that, not used to Daisy being so outgoing that she'd actually invite some friends over. "Tell you what, sweetie. Give me a few minutes and I'll come down and help, okay?"

"Alright, then! See you in a few!" Daisy hugged her mom one more time, kissed her dad on the cheek, and went back downstairs. Grace sighed looking over at Daniel.

"You're gonna buy her that book anyway, aren't you?"

Daniel shrugged, but he couldn't hide his little smile. "Maybe..."

Grace rolled her eyes and leaned over him to kiss him gently, letting her lips linger before she stood up and pulled away. "I love you, you know that?"

"How could I forget?"

Grace gave him a warm smile before walking to the kitchen and pouring some tea into a travel mug. "Start the next one without me, okay?" With that, she descended down the stairs to help her daughter with her spooky posters and candles and all the other weird stuff that made her happy.

In the meantime, Daniel retrieved his copy of Dirty Dancing from the DVD player and popped in the next cheesy 80s film of choice.

"I can't believe you convinced me to invite her over here," Helga grumbled, sitting up on her bed playing Flappy Bat on her phone. "It's my last day off, I'll see her tomorrow anyway..."

Arnold rolled his eyes, sitting on a folding chair next to her bed. "She just misses you, Helga."

"Whatever. I just hope she gets here soon so we can get this over with..." Helga trailed off and bit her lip as she came close to beating her high score of 53 flaps before suddenly crashing into a tree. She yelled and held her phone up in the air like she was about to launch it across the room, but she stopped herself and slammed it down on the bed beside her.

"Having trouble?" Arnold asked with a smirk.

"Stupid bat... You ever notice how many games have bats in them!? Criminy..."

Arnold laughed and shook his head. "No, I don't think I've ever pa-AID-" Arnold's eyes shot wide open and quickly he coughed and tried to clear his throat, hoping Helga didn't notice.

She noticed. She was staring right at him, perfectly still, wondering if she just heard what she thought she did.

"I was saying, I d-ON'T-... I never noticed anyth-ING... Oh no..." Arnold held his hands over his mouth as he slowly turned his head toward her, watching in horror as a wide, devilish grin formed on her face.

"Oh...my...god..." Helga snickered, barely able to stifle her laughter.

Arnold shook his head, still keeping his hands over his mouth as if he could somehow hide his voice that way. "Please don't say anything, Hel-GA..."

That was it. Helga couldn't hold it any longer and tossed her head back and roared with laughter. Arnold sighed and shook his head, hiding his face in his arms. He mumbled something, but his voice was too muffled for Helga to understand him. "What did you say!?" she asked as she tried to hold it together long enough for him to respond.

Arnold lifted his head and squeaked in frustration, "I s-AID I can't be-LIE-ve this is happ-EN-ing!"

Helga's laughter returned with a vengeance, so much so that she fell to her side and rolled back and forth on her bed. She was in such hysterics that her cough returned to her, but she didn't care. Arnold growled and started forcing himself to cough as well, hoping that he could clear his throat and somehow keep his voice from cracking like that too much.

"Uh... Don't tell me Arnold's sick now, too..."

Arnold and Helga both looked over and saw a somewhat confused Daisy standing in the doorway, still holding her backpack. Olga stood behind her, of course, more worried than confused. "Are you alright, Baby Sister!? I thought your cough was going away!"

"I'm fine," Helga said as she sat up, catching her breath and letting out a long, deep sigh of contentment, still wearing that huge grin on her face. "Well, Arnold? Won't you say hello to Daisy?"

Arnold glared at her for a moment, but then looked over at Daisy, who walked into the room very slowly. He took a deep breath and hoped for the best. "Hi. I'm...not...sick...?"

Daisy raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Okay then..." She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, setting her bag down on the floor beside her. Olga walked in after her and checked Helga's temperature with the back of her hand, immediately souring her once jovial mood.

"Do you need anything, Baby Sister? Some ginger ale? Or some tea? If you feel nauseous I'll bring the bucket right away, just let me know!"

"Yeah, yeah, I said I was fine. Criminy, just..." She sighed and rolled her eyes as she felt Arnold touch her arm, reminding her to try and be less harsh with her sister. After all, she was only trying to be helpful. "If I need anything, I will let you know. Just let me hang out with my friends, okay?"

"Alright, if you're sure!" Olga looked at Daisy then. "Nice meeting you, Daisy!"

Daisy smiled and gave a little nod. "Nice meeting you too, Olga. Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on her, make sure she's good to go for tomorrow."

Helga rolled her eyes. If there was anything that could threaten to make her start gagging again, that was it. "Oh, I can't wait."

Olga giggled. "I bet! You guys have fun!" With that she finally left them alone. Helga sighed with relief.

"Finally..." Looking over at Daisy, Helga's grin returned to her. "You missed something amazing, you know that? This one here," she said gesturing to Arnold with her thumb, "He was squeaking and squawking like he just got kicked in the-"

"I w-AS not!" Arnold said before groaning with frustration into one of Helga's pillows.

"Oh boy..." Daisy smiled too, chuckling a little herself. "Arnold, it's fine. Just don't fight it, it'll go away eventually."

Arnold crossed his arms, clearly not amused. "It's not funny..."

"Oh, yes it is," Helga said in a devilish tone.

Daisy sighed at that, leaning toward him and looking him in the eye. "Arnold, your voice is cracking. It sounds silly. No one can help that. But you know it happens to most boys your age anyway, so it's really not a big deal. Just let it out and have fun with it."

"She's right, you know." Helga nudged him in the shoulder. "Remember when Gerald went through it?"

"I had a feeling he did," Daisy added.

Arnold rolled his eyes. "That doesn't count, he had his t-ONS-ils removed."

"So he went through it a little early, big deal. You can't tell me that wasn't hysterical." Helga's eyes lit up with a little idea and she nudged his shoulder once more. "Hey! Sing Moonlight Bay with me!"

Arnold looked at her like she had actually turned into a monkey. "What!? No way!"

"You know Moonlight Bay?" Daisy asked curiously.

"Know it? We had to sing it for school! Poor Geraldo had his tonsils out right when we were rehearsing for it!" She took Arnold's hand then, squeezing it reassuringly. "C'mon, please!? Tell you what, I'll set you up and you do the end part, okay? I'm only doing this once, bucko, so do me proud!"

Arnold stared at her as he fought an internal war over this song, unable to commit to either refusing to sing the last line or giving in and becoming a laughingstock for Helga and Daisy. And who knows who else they'd tell?

As Helga cleared her throat and began to sing, Daisy couldn't help but notice how clear and rich Helga's voice was, in spite of the simplistic nature of the song as well as the flu she'd just gotten over.

"We were sailing along, on Moonlight Bay! We could hear the voices singing, and they seemed to say...! You have stolen my heart, and gone away! As we sing our moonlit song on Moonlight Bay!" Helga pointed at Arnold, giving him his cue. Arnold sighed, shook his head, and gave in.

"O-on Moo-O-onli-I-ght Ba-Aa-yyy!"

"YES!" Helga punched the air and started laughing once more, looking at Arnold the whole time. "You KNOW that was funny!"

Arnold couldn't help but crack a smile as he replayed that sound in his head, and slowly but surely he finally started laughing along with her. Only his voice continued to crack, making his laughter sound even stranger than his singing. He couldn't help but think he must sound like an angry goose or something.

Daisy shook her head, laughing much more quietly than they were. "Oh, brother," she sighed as she crossed her arms. "You two, I swear..."

Helga couldn't remember the last time she laughed so hard, reaching up to wipe tears from her eyes. However, her cough returned once more, and this time she found it was a bit more difficult to stop. Arnold reached over to rub her back, and before too long she was able to clear her throat and catch her breath. She continued to smile anyway.

"Hoooo... Boy, I probably should have asked Olga for a drink when she offered." Helga swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, but Arnold jumped up and touched her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.

"Wait, Helga. I'll go get it, okay?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Arnold. I can do it."

"I know, but..." Arnold swallowed hard. "I think I'd like to...grab mys-ELF something too..."

Helga shrugged and sat back down on the bed next to Daisy. "Alright, then. Carry on, my sweet frog prince."

Arnold rolled his eyes and walked out, leaving Daisy and Helga alone. Daisy took a deep breath and looked around the room a bit, tapping her fingers on her knees. "Sooo... Not sure what you were so scared I'd see in here. Oh no, four walls, a floor, and a ceiling!"

Helga crossed her arms with a huff. She was glad that Daisy didn't bother to check her closet and find the shrine to her beloved, but she couldn't help but worry. "Scared? Hardly. I just...like my privacy is all..."

Daisy could tell from the way Helga looked away from her that something bothered her. But she knew by now not to push it either, simply reaching over to put her hand on Helga's back. Helga tensed up at that, not used to that kind of contact from anyone outside Arnold, or at least her sister.

"It's okay, Helga. Trust me, your room is way better than mine. I only just got my posters up last night. Plus a few candles. Most of my stuff is still in boxes, though."

"Don't even start with the candles," Helga snarled, reminded of the new hobby her mother had been indulging ever since Christmas. She turned toward Daisy slowly, still not meeting her gaze quite yet but no longer shunning her outright. "And, thanks... My, um... My old room was better. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of my old stuff was lost for good.."

Daisy smiled sadly. "My old room was pretty great too, I thought..."

It was then Helga looked up into her eyes, only now considering what it must be like for Daisy having just moved to town. "Wow. I uh, I didn't realize you... I mean, I know you just moved here recently and all, but..."

"Yeah, it's pretty weird. I have more friends here than I did back home, though, so that's a plus. Right?"

"Wait... Me, Arnold, Gerald and Phoebe... You had less friends than that? I mean, not that I always had a ton of friends, but... I had Phoebe, and I got along with the other girls. Rhonda a little less. Patty, it took her almost beating me up for us to get along okay..."

"And you had Arnold."

Helga gulped. "Arnold hated my guts for a while. It was that or he'd never notice me..."

Daisy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, I don't buy that for a second. You guys were best friends the whole time."

"You really think so...? How can you say that when you weren't even here?"

"I can't say how I know, but...I just know. Maybe you should ask Arnold about it." Daisy winked at her and gave her a warm smile.

Helga nodded slowly and swallowed hard. She didn't want to bring it up, but now that the two of them were alone, she figured this was as good a time as any to put it out in the open. "Speaking of which, um... You were right, by the way. I did think you were trying to come on to Arnold, take him away from me and all that..."

Daisy smirked. "I know you did. But I can tell you're coming around. Look..." She reached over and touched Helga's hand, which caught her a little off guard at first. Until she remembered Daisy's one of those touchy feely affectionate types in general. "I want to tell you, right now, while no one else can hear us, that you can trust me not to get between you two. I mean, what kind of idiot would I be to do that? I just moved here, and you guys are the nicest friends I've probably ever had."

"Really?" Helga tilted her head at that last part. "You count me as one of your nicest friends?"

"Of course I do. But the point is, there's no way I'm trying to steal your man, okay? I would do anything for love, but I won't do that."

Helga smiled and let out a little sigh of relief, surprised how easy and quick that discussion turned out to be. "Thanks..." She then stared into Daisy's eyes for a moment and something dawned on her. "Bravo, by the way. For changing the subject."

"Huh...?"

"Classic diversion. You're talking to a professional, you know that? Now then... What do you mean, you have more friends now than you did back home? And how are we your nicest friends ever when you just moved here recently?"

Daisy paused and looked down at her feet, as if she hoped to find the words on the floor beneath them. "I, um... I didn't really have any friends..."

Helga paused, not sure what to say at first. "How come...?"

Daisy shrugged. "Kids thought I was weird. Got beat up a lot, had to change schools a few times. One kid slammed a locker door shut on my head, another shoved me down a stairwell. I'm actually lucky I wasn't seriously injured. I do have a tiny scar on my head but my hair hides it, so..."

Helga balled her hands into fists for a moment. P.S. 118 wasn't perfect, but it wasn't the kind of place where kids got seriously beat up all the time either. If anything she'd arguably dished out the worst beating herself just a few months ago, and she regretted it instantly. She could also tell Daisy wasn't the type who went out of her way to bother anyone. If anything it was the opposite. With her thin, unintimidating frame and her quiet, generally shy disposition outside the few friends she'd made so far, Helga couldn't imagine why anyone would want to beat her up bad enough to have her sent to another school, let alone more than once.

"Well... No one's beating you up on my watch. I'm the worst one and they all know it, so as long as you stick with me, you'll have no problems."

Daisy smiled softly and glanced back up at her. "Wow, um... Thank you, Helga..." As she looked back down to the floor, she saw her backpack in the corner of her eye and it was like a light came on, her smile brightening up immediately. "I almost forgot something!"

Helga blinked, not expecting such a fast shift in her mood. "Uh... What?" She watched as Daisy picked up her bag and set it on her lap. She noticed quite a few patches on it, from heavy metal band logos to weird occult symbols and other such oddities, and she couldn't help asking, "What do you keep in there anyway? Bones? Snakes? The Necro-blah-blah-con?"

Daisy laughed. "You mean the Necronomicon? Nah, I keep that stuff at home under the floor boards," she deadpanned as she pulled out a book of some sort, wrapped in a shopping bag. "I'm joking. Here... I didn't have time to wrap it in anything else, so I hope that's okay..."

Daisy handed it over and Helga took it curiously. "Wait, is this for me? Like a gift or something?"

Daisy nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! That's why I was late getting here. Wanted to get you a get well soon present, but... You basically got well already, so... I don't know, either way, it's yours," she said with a shrug. "Really hope you like it!"

"You didn't need to get me anything..." Helga said quietly, almost a little annoyed at first, but she trailed off as she unwrapped it and quickly realized it was a copy of Within the Realm of Light, the sequel to her new favorite read. "You got me the new Blood Realms book? How did you even get this!? I thought it came out next week!"

"Nope. They moved it up, like...a month ago." Daisy smiled widely as she watched Helga turn it over in her hands and take a peek at the opening pages. "I'm glad you dig it. Let me know how it is, okay?"

"You bet-... Wait, you're not going to read it too?"

Daisy shrugged. "I will when I get my own copy."

Helga stared at her for a moment, then looked down at the book in her hands. She could practically hear the old Helga in her head. "Too bad, so sad! The moron wants to give it to you when she could keep it to herself! Can you believe that? Oh, man, what an idiot. If you play your cards right, old girl, who knows what else you can get her to buy you! Just pretend you're sick again and she'll bring you all kinds of cool junk!"

But the other voice was stronger. "I can't take this, Daisy."

Daisy sighed. "Yes, you can. I'm sure you have a pretty good reason all cooked up why you have to give it back to me, but it's not going to work."

"But-"

"But nothing. I mean it, I really want you to have it."

Helga gave a subtle grimace at first, annoyed that Daisy wasn't giving her a minute to talk. But an idea came to her and her smile returned. "Tell you what, Freak... We said we'd read it together, so what's what we'll do."

Daisy's eyes widened a bit. "Really? I mean, I don't know if I could resist, honestly. I've seen the reviews, and it's darker, bloodier, spookier, and...well, more fun too, if you catch my drift..." Daisy gave her a wicked smirk and nudged her with her elbow.

"Well criminy, don't take too long to get your hands on it!" Helga said with a playful smack against her arm. "Besides, I didn't even know it was out yet, so Phoebe and I can wait a little longer. No big dea-"

Daisy then practically lunged at her, cutting her off with a big, warm hug. "I know you don't like this mushy crap but you better learn to deal with it."

Helga couldn't help but laugh and awkwardly hug her back. "Long as you don't mind my flu germs..."

"What am I walking into?" Arnold said as he finally returned, ginger ale in hand, to find them hugging. As he walked into the room and Helga and Daisy parted, he noticed the book in Helga's hand and managed to piece together what must have happened. "Is that what I think it is?"

Helga nodded. "Hell yeah! And you better get ready, bucko, because you're reading both of them, and we're definitely cosplaying Max and Lucia."

Arnold rolled his eyes and sat down on the chair next to the bed, handing her the ginger ale. "I would have been back sooner, but... Your dad took me aside to help test a few, um... A few beepers." Arnold's face soured a little, recalling how much Bob laughed when he squeaked out the word "beepers", but it didn't last. To his surprise, Helga didn't even care. No frustration that he took so long, no dying of thirst, no criminy, no Football Head.

Instead, he saw his girlfriend excitedly talking about vampires and fake blood recipes and cosplay ideas with a new friend. He let out a deep sigh of relief, happy to know that after all the tension between them, Helga and Daisy were now truly bonding, and could even get along without him.

He was also happy they were too busy talking to each other for him to get a squeak in edgewise.

The stalker, hidden carefully in distant shadows, watched as Arnold and Daisy walked out of the Beeper Emporium, following them down the street and taking even more photos of the two. They were, of course, completely unaware that they were being watched...

"You didn't need to walk me home, Arnold."

"I know, but that was really cool what you did for Helga, and I just w-AN-ted to say-... Dang it. Thanks, is what I was getting at..."

Daisy laughed as the two of them walked down the street, her hands in her pockets. "I get it. Still, kind of weird. You walking another girl home. You sure Helga doesn't have to worry about you?"

Arnold blinked and shook his head, blushing with embarrassment. "What? No, noth-INg like tha-At. We're just friends, and He-ELga is my girlfriend..."

Daisy snickered and shook her head. "Relax, Arnold. Just teasing, that's all." Her smile faded, however, upon hearing the sound of barking in the distance. And it was getting closer. "Um...hm..."

"What is it?" Arnold asked, confused for a moment until he saw the dog appear in the distance from around a corner. It was a decent sized dog, not too large but no lap dog either. Surely it was a lab mix of some kind, mostly black with some white around the neck and chest, and probably the belly too.

As the dog approached, Daisy tensed up. She noticed the dog wasn't on a leash, and no owner was coming to retrieve it. Arnold thought the dog seemed friendly enough, but Daisy stepped behind him as the dog came closer and closer. "Arnold..."

"Poor little guy seems lost. I wonder who-"

"ARNOLD!" Daisy shrieked as the dog finally reached them and jumped up toward the. Daisy yelped and held her arms up over her face, curling up and turning away as if in a defense position. Arnold gasped, turning from her to the dog. It wasn't growling, or biting, or anything scary. As the lost little mutt tried licking Arnold's face, with its tail wagging away with joy, it was clear the dog was harmless.

And yet, Daisy reacted as though they'd just been pounced on by a lion. "Just make it go away! Please!" Arnold tried to shoo the dog away, but it was no use. The dog noticed her behind him and walked around to greet her as well.

As the dog stood up and leaned against her, Daisy screamed at the top of her lungs.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, fellas! I love hearing from everyone. Unfortunately, I'm dropping another author's note because of another setback. About a week ago I injured my back and it really cut into my productivity. You won't have to wait TOO long for the next chapter, but it may not be released as quickly as the last few I'm afraid. Still, I won't let you down!