Title: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {25-60}
Author: Emono
Rating: FRM
Fandom: Supernatural/RPS
Pairings: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan
Disclaimer: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards
Beta: gil_follower
Warnings: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!! Cheating
~Next Day~
They stopped at a bar halfway to Smokey Hills, Dean had an itch he needed to satisfy. Money was good to have, but he felt like he was leeching off of Jared and Jensen. Dean Winchester wasn't a leech. He was a lot of things (a petty theft felon, lock picker, hunter, big brother, mechanic, expert marksman, make-shift inventor), but he was not going to leech off his lover anymore.
Hence the bar…hustling.
Sam and Jensen were at the bar, nursing beers and discussing the tendencies of vampires. Though hazel eyes kept straying back towards the smoky pool tables, making sure his brother had it all under control. Jared was back at the motel, sleeping with the help of some Nyquil. He had felt horrible since they left the last motel, but refused to talk it about it other than a murmur about an ache in his back. Instead, his lover had spoon fed him some sleep medicine and tucked him into the covers.
"So, no sweating blood?" Jensen inquired.
Sam shook his head, "It doesn't work like that."
A smile tugged at full lips, "What about sparkling?"
The hunter gave him a firm look, "Vampires don't fuckin' sparkle."
They toasted their Michelob's to that, snickering quietly.
Sam licked the bitter droplets form his lips, "How's Dean been?"
Jensen didn't even pretend to misunderstand, "He won't talk to me."
"All I know is that he was tortured for forty years down there, ripped up one side and down the other" the Winchester winced at his words, but they needed to be said "If you think he's bad now, you should've seen him the year before he went. Something happened those last ten years, but he won't admit anything. Every time I push, he clams up. Alastair -the bastard- has dropped a few hints…but nothing concrete."
"I can't make him better" Jensen admitted softly "I've tried Sammy -God knows I have- but he doesn't want my help. I tried to take Castiel's mark from his skin, but I couldn't."
"Whoa, what?" Sam sputtered "You tried what?"
"It didn't work, Sam…I can't heal" Jensen stated, looking straight into the hunter's eyes "I've already been scolded, so don't start."
Sam nodded reluctantly, "Are you…alright?"
"It was a while ago, I'm fine now" the actor assured him, trying to lighten the mood "Did Bobby talk to you about the show?"
Sam flushed, "Yeah. Dad doesn't know, and that's all that matters."
"To sneaky, underhanded deeds" Jensen raised his beer in jest, and they toasted with a shared chuckle.
Sam's eyes strayed away from the actor's smiling face, searching for his brother again. He found him through the cigarette smoke, there at the back table. Dean had been knocking them back pretty hard, every so often the round-heeled barmaid came up for another set of beer for his brother's table. Dean must have been feeling the effects, cause there was no other explanation for what was happening.
Dean was leaning against the pool table, his hands around the cute barmaid's hips. He was pressed right up against her, whispering gently in her ear and kissing the shell. She was giggling and wiggling closer, her petite hands on his broad shoulders. Her generous chest was right against his brother's, her thighs squeezed between his.
Sam jerked away from the sight, taking a cool gulp of beer. He couldn't believe his brother was doing this! After all that shit about loving Jensen and them being their salvation! Sam was filled with loathing and guilt, they mixed a sour brew in the base of his stomach. He stood up suddenly, blocking the view from Jensen with his chest.
"Why don't we get out of here?" Sam suggested, tangent at the actor's sleeve like a child while he tried to keep the panic from his voice "We shouldn't leave Jared alone too long…what about Xander? He tried it before, maybe he'll try again?"
"Jared's as safe as he's going to get, Sam" Jensen spoke slowly, brow creased and gaze curious "Salt lines in place, sigils on the door in magic marker. Xander has no way to get in."
"But-"
"We can't leave Dean alone" the actor pointed out "He's unprotected here…and you know those games can turn. You'd feel just as guilty as I would if Dean got arrested."
Sam was panicking now, "Let's go get something to eat, then?""I'm staying" Jensen turned back to the bar "And there's nothing you can say to get me to leave. I don't know why you…keep…"
Jensen's beer hit the bar with a thunk, nearly empty bottle settling in place after a short spin. He gaped, wide eyed and dumbstruck like a small child. Sam followed his gaze up, wincing when he saw what the mirrored back walls of the bar reflected. There was a clear view of Dean, latched onto the woman's mouth like a leech. Hands were roaming, curving over chests and backs and hair.
Jensen choked a little, the bartender came up and took his empty bottle.
She was early thirties, with long raven hair and a sympathetic smile, "Can I get you another Michelob, sweetheart? Maybe something warm?"
Jensen's eyes glazed over at her soothing voice, "Yeah, pretty thing. Bring me a shot glass and a bottle of spiced rum, will ya?"
She smiled and nodded, going down the bar.
"Sam" Jensen sounded so broken, unable to tear his eyes from the sight that burned into him "Could you stay and be the designated driver? I don't think I'll be up to it."
"Yeah" Sam nodded, a lump in his throat the size of his first "I'll stay."
"Thanks" Jensen spoke to the bartender, who set down a shot glass ad filled it to the rim with the spiced rum. Jensen tossed it down without hesitation, all but throwing it down his throat. She left the bottle, giving him space.
Dean pulled away from his new plaything, whispering something in her ear. She grinned wickedly, taking his hand and pulling him towards the men's bathroom. The hunter stumbled a little, but couldn't keep the grin off his face.
Sam watched Jensen see this…watched him throw back another shot and wince.
Somehow Sam convinced himself that wasn't a tear running down the actor's face, that he wasn't witnessing a heart break.
()
They left the bar not two hours later. Sam manhandled his brother into the passenger seat, heart aching as he watched Jensen calmly lay himself in the back seat. They were both piss drunk, but the older Winchester had two handfuls of cash. He was grinning and thumbing through it, but Sam knew his brother couldn't see anything past his dilated pupils.
Sam got in the driver's seat and started the car, pulling out.
They were halfway to the motel when Dean spoke up, "Why the hell are you driving the car, Sam?"
"Cause I'm sober."
Dean stared blankly out the windshield, "Where's Jenny?"
Sam looked up into the rearview mirror. Jensen was spread on the leather seat, teeth digging into the side of his thumb. Dean repeated himself, but Jensen just bit down harder and clenched his eyes shut.
Sam lied through his teeth, "Back at the motel."
Dean burst out into a grin, "Good. Did you see that pretty piece of tail back at the bar?"
Sam crinkled his nose, "Yeah?"
Dean closed his eyes, still grinning, "Sucks like a dream."
"Shut up" Sam growled, glancing at the mirror to watch Jensen curl up on his side "Just…shut up, jackass."
Dean frowned and made a mocking sound, but didn't open his eyes.
Sam knew it had gone too far.
He pulled into the motel not long after, killing the engine with a flick of his wrist. Dean managed to get himself out of the car, only falling once before he got to the door. He used his key to get in, grumbling loudly before shutting the door.
Sam let out the breath he had been holding, turning in his seat to face the actor, "Jen?"
Jensen released his vice on his hand, revealing deep red indents, "Yeah?"
He sounded raw, it hurt Sam's heart, "Are you…? I know you'd not ok now, but will you…be ok?"
"Hurts" Jensen muttered, teary eyes cracking open.
"Jen" Sam sighed, reaching out and running a hand over the man's shoulders "Let's go. It's cold out here, and there's a nice warm bed inside for you."
"I don't want it" Jensen sneered, but the chill of the night air was seeping into him.
"Want to sleep out here?" Sam inquired, the actor nodded "Ok, I'll lock the doors."
Sam shucked off his coat, laying it over Jensen's form. The slighter man wriggled into the warmth, eyes fluttering closed. Sam locked the doors before he left, leaving the man secure in the car by himself.
When he entered the room, he found Dean passed out cold on his bed. Stripped down to his boxers, he snored and drooled on the pillow like a great useless thing. Jared was bundled under the comforter on their bed, fast asleep as well but reasonably much cuter.
Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes, this wasn't going to end well.
()()()
~Next Morning~
Dean sauntered out of the shower, bare except for the towel scrubbing at his hair. Jared, who was snacking down on his peanut M&M stash, held up a hand to shield his eyes from the nakedness. Dean snickered, doing an exaggerated hip wiggle in front of the actor. Sam's glare sobered him, he promptly put on his boxers and jeans.
As he fastened himself up, he looked around expectantly. Jensen was nowhere to be found, which was unusual. Dean had woken up cold and alone in their bed, and had immediately swallowed down four aspirin. Thankfully it had done the trick to kick his hangover's ass, and the shower had finished it off.
Dean felt good, but lonely.
"Where's my pretty boy?" Dean inquired, getting only a shrug and a frown from Jared. Sam stayed quiet and still, his laptop perched on his lap and humming softly. The older hunter walked over, slapping down the screen and getting a fierce glare for his trouble.
Sam's jaw clenched, but not a word was uttered.
"Where's my Jenny-doll, Sammy?" Dena's voice was still teasing, but it had an edge "You know."
Dean wasn't expecting the venom that was spat at him, "Why don't you ask the tavern whore?"
The hunter winced at this, stepping away. Flashes had been coming to him all morning from the night before. Soft breasts, strawberry gloss flavored lips, a skirt beneath his fingertips…a warm mouth on his, on his cock…legs around his waist, feminine moans in his ear…
Dean thought he was going to be sick, "I fucked her, didn't I?"
"Yeah" Sam pointedly ignored his own lover's gasp of shock, the pitter-patter of M&M's echoed throughout the room as he hit the floor "Right in front of him, jackass. Jensen saw it all, and he knows what you did."
Dean downcast his eyes, "I didn't…I had too many, and she was close by and easy."
Sam gave a grunt, half-frustrated and half-amused, "You're a bastard, you know that? You can be a real selfish prick when you want, big brother."
"He would give you anything, Dean. He loves more than anything" Jared sounded strangled, mostly in shock "And you fucked a waitress?"
Sam gave a look, shutting the actor up.
"Where is he?"
"In the car" Sam replied coldly "He didn't want to be in the same bed as you while you still had the stink of her on you."
"Shut up!" Dean snapped, tugging on his Black Flag shirt and ignoring the way it clung to his damp chest. He grabbed one of the cups of coffee Sam had gotten earlier, casting his brother a filthy look before taking the keys as well.
Sam opened his mouth to protest, but his brother was already out the door.
Dean made his way to the Impala, maneuvering his keys out in front of him. He sat the coffee atop the car, easily in reach. He unlocked the front door and slipped inside, clicking the locks in the back off. He tried to turn and look at his lover, but he couldn't get a full view (this bugged him.) Dean rolled back out of the vehicle, throwing open the back door.
Jensen was curled up on his side in the car, twitching and groaning like he was having a bad dream. He looked a little pale, the scent of spiced rum clinging to the very seat he laid on. He was so pretty…his light hair ruffled every which way and compact body curled up on itself. A large coat covered him, a tan faux-pleather coat.
Dean growled at the sight of his brother's coat wrapped around his lover's form. He smelled Sam in the car…on Jensen…on his Jensen. Unbidden, images came to his mind of Sam tucking Jensen in the backseat and kissing him goodnight while he himself laid asleep a little more then 20 feet away.
//No, Sam wouldn't do that// Dean scolded himself, unsure if he was more guilt-ridden or angry. Angry at Sam, at that slut waitress, at alcohol, at himself.
Instead of standing there brooding, Dean sprung into action. He grabbed the coffee off the top of the car, placing it in the foot rest carefully. He eased himself over his lover, crawling right on top of him and straddling his hips. He bent down and kissed his cheek, nuzzling it lovingly.
"Honey, wake up."
()
Jensen was back at that God-forsaken bar…alone. He sat at the counter, gazing only a his own reflection and a few dozen nameless bottles of booze. He still wanted a drink, wanted a line of drinks…wanted anything that would take the sharp jagged glass out of his chest. He thought for a moment he would cry again, but he couldn't do that here. Not in this place.
Someone appeared at his side, there in the reflection. Raven hair that curled at the ends, fathomless eyes…silk on leather…broader and taller than he would ever be. Jensen's lips curled in disgust, glaring knives at the demon's reflection.
"Xander" he spat the name like it burned.
"Jensen" Xander purred, leaning casually against the bar counter and giving him a lazy grin "Looks like your Happy-Ever-Fucking-After-True-Love wasn't as 'forever' as you hoped it would be. It was…what? Four? Five months tops?"
"You don't know anything" the actor narrowed his eyes "You're not even physically here, are you?"
The demon's pleasure faltered.
"What's wrong? Does the Big Bag fear a little Hollywood actor?" Jensen teased, feeling like he had already tossed down several shots "Chicken shit."
"Whore."
The word stung Jared into silence, forcing a pathetic sound from the back of his throat. He hung his head in defeat, hands curling into fists on the smooth countertop. He tried to take a calming breath, but the air was thin here. He struggled to stay upright for a moment, his reactions stunted. He tried to will his body to stand, to get up and away…but to no avail.
Jensen gained a little of his strength back, enough to at least lift his head. Xander no longer stood beside him, it was his lover. Dean grinned, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. It felt wrong, too tight and sour.
"I could be the Dean you need" Xander's voice spilled from that familiar mouth, resting his chin sharply in the actor's shoulder "I could be sweet and faithful…never put a bruise on your body or a rough touch on your skin. I would speak softly and never hold my feelings back out of a self-conceived notion of right and wrong."
The demon turned it's head, eyes flashing red as it spoke into his ears, "I would be everything you wanted as I ripped every last ounce of soul from your body."
Jensen gasped hoarsely, eyes snapping open. He found himself under his lover, Dean's handsome face hovering above him. He could feel the sweat beading at his temples, a tension headache was lurking just at the back of his skull. He moaned softly in relief, realizing quickly it was just a nightmare…it had all been just a nightmare…
But some things weren't illusions.
Dean had put his hands on that cute waitress, put his hands on her waist and in her hair. His lips -those lovely lips that had worshipped every inch of his body- had clumsily kneaded at her neck and mouth. Right there in the bar for everyone to see, no shame. The only sign of modesty between them had been when she lead him to the bathroom, the hunter following like a puppy.
Jensen felt bile rise in his throat…whether from the thought of his lover fucking some easy slut or the hangover that threatened to consume him, who knew?
The All-Seeing Merciful God, that's who…the bastard…
"Good morning" Dean had faux-cheer injected in his voice like teriyaki sauce "I got you coffee."
"Get off me" Jensen demanded, the hunter responding to the commanding tone immediately. Dean sat up, giving his lover plenty of room to get away. Jensen pulled himself up into a sitting position, out from under the Winchester and back against the car door. He made an effort not to appear angry…he went for insouciance and succeeded.
"Thanks" Jensen took the coffee off the floor, bringing it to his lips. It was strong, bitter on his tongue, but good.
"What's that on your hand?"
Jensen pulled away from the coffee long enough to look down at his hand, wincing. The skin was enflamed, a perfect indention of his teeth right there in his very own skin. He merely shrugged, letting Sam's jacket hide the wound. When Dean made a move toward him, Jensen pushed open the door and got out.
The air was stained with the stench of truck smog and cigarette smoke, but it was better than sharing Dean's air right now.
"Jensen!"
Jensen didn't stop his track past the car and up onto the sidewalk, coffee to his lips.
Dean caught up to him easily, "How much do you remember from last night?"
Jensen shrugged, "Not much of anything, really."
Dean frowned, "Then what's with the hard-to-get act?"
The actor didn't even spare him a look, "I had a nightmare, you startled me."
Dean called his bluff, swinging himself into Jensen's path. He wrapped his arms around the slighter man' waist, dropping another kiss on his cheek and several down his neck. It was a chaste exchange, a rare one, but it still churned Jensen's stomach. He was a good boy, he let Dean take whatever he needed to reassure himself that they were ok. He even managed a smile when Dean pulled away, dark jade eyes curious.
"Are you done?" Jensen teased, broken heart jabbing him in the ribs "I need a shower."
Jensen wriggled away, closing in on the door.
"You smell like my brother."
Jensen couldn't keep the bitter scoff off his lips, "Oh yeah, completely. Me and Sammy did it fast, hot, and hardcore all night long in the back seat of your car. Get real, Dean."
Jensen turned briefly, giving him his sweetest smile and most innocent tone, "I would never do something like that to you, Dean. I love you too much to even think of another person, let alone your brother."
Dean's shocked and hurt expression turned Jensen's grin sour, the actor turned and headed inside the room.
//Good. I hope the guilt rots you, you son-of-a-bitch.//
Sam and Jared just stared at him when he entered the room, shocked that Dean was still in one piece and that Jensen was so calm. Jensen shrugged off the coat, laying to over the nearest chair.
"Thanks for the coat, Sam" Jensen walked towards the bathroom "If you need me, I'll be throwing up."
()
The rest of the morning was just as awkward. Jensen talked and joked, but steered clear of Dean. When Dean pushed himself into the actor's personal space, he was met with no resistance. Jensen never initiated it, he could barely bring himself to pretend. Sam had quietly informed Jared of everything that had happened while he was asleep, and the man was positively disgusted by the entire affair. They both agreed that whole "I was too drunk to remember" bit Jensen was trying to sell was fake, but didn't say a thing.
Check out came around soon enough, and Jared found himself piling the duffle bags in the back of the Impala. Sam and Dean lingered in the room, taking up the salt lines like usual. Jensen strolled to the car, hands buried in his large denim jacket. He had taken to wearing it only when they went out at night, but it was Dean's spare and he was on a mission.
Jensen was going to show Dean that he wasn't a casual fuck, that Dean couldn't trail off every time he got bored and expect him to take it.
Jensen threw open the driver side door, putting his foot firmly in the interior doorframe. He leaned against the rest of the door, raising a brow when the Winchesters came out.
"You guys done pokin' around? Come on! Let's not wait for the grass to grow."
Dean opened and closed his mouth twice before he spoke, "Jen, maybe I should-?"
"What?" Jensen snapped quickly, putting on a prissy tone "Something wrong, Dean? Don't want me up front? Don't you trust me?"
Jared swallowed thickly, he had only heard that tone when Kripke tried to do something stupid with fictional-Dean. That was a tone that said "I'm an actor, you can't go on without me here, don't fuck with me." Not that either of them were exactly A-list billion dollar celebrities or anything. While Jared came off goofy, Jensen seemed naturally engraved with oh-so-superior genes and an aura to match.
Jensen had been in the business since he was seventeen, he was not one to be fucked with.
Dean nodded, starting to sweat, "I don't care if you drive, Jen."
"Oh good" Jensen's smirk was overly sweet, voice fluttering like a moth in a cage of chubby fingers "I'm glad you trust me with your baby, Dean."
Sam pushed his brother forward, cheeks flushed now. He knew that Jensen knew, and Jensen knew that he knew, but apparently…Dean didn't know Jensen knew. Sam hoped that whatever the actor was planning, it wasn't something Dean would never recover from. Dean still felt like he was alone after Hell, that no one could understand the pain he had been in. The made him vulnerable.
Jensen could only push so hard.
Jensen slid behind the wheel, slipping the sunglasses over his eyes.
This wasn't going to end well.
TBC
There's a thing that they can't touch