Glazed Feelings
Part 25
Rizzoli and Isles are the property of TNT and Tess Gerritson. I am just borrowing them for some fun. I have bad news. I won't be posting for four days. Have to escort some students to the state capital this weekend for a contest and then by the time I get back I know I will be drug out. Hopefully I will have another part for you on Tuesday. Sorry. Your humble bard, Deanlu.
Angela arrived at the hospital just after nine in the morning. She felt refreshed after a good night's sleep and a wonderful shower. Frankie's call earlier in the morning that Jane had been moved back to the private room and was doing better had energized her. She had a slow breakfast taking time to read through her mail and answer family member's emails on Jane. Her goal now was to get Maura to head home for a break, even if it was only for a few hours. At least that was her goal until she stepped into Jane's room. There lay Maura sleeping soundly next to Jane's left side. She was snuggled into the detective's side with Jane's arm holding her tight in sleep. Angela glanced to the couch where Tommy lay sleeping soundly. Frankie had reported for duty at seven in the morning and then was sent home by Korsak to get some rest. Angela moved closer looking at Jane. She had more color and seemed to be breathing easier. Angela would be off of work today, but tomorrow she had to return. Life moved on even as the detective still wasn't quite out of danger health wise.
"Hey ma, when did you get here?" Tommy asked while running his hands over his face and sitting up.
"Just a few minutes ago I slept in later than I wanted, but I was tired. I love your sister, but her job is going to kill me from worry." Angela said softly so not to be heard by the two women.
"It will be okay mom. I think if Maura and Jane get on the right track again Jane will be more careful. She hates hurting Maura." Angela looked over at the two lovers. She wished she could protect them from all Angela knew they would encounter in the future, but life had a way of beating people down. Maybe it would give Jane and Maura a break for a while. Tommy looked at his watch. "Man it's late. I have to get going. I talked to my boss last night. He wants me to come in today. I have to go. Tell Jane and Maura I love them. I'll see you tonight." Tommy got up slipping on his shoes while his ma kissed him goodbye.
Angela moved over to the nearby curtains opening them some for a little light. She set the bag she brought down on the coffee table. She pulled out a flower arrangement. There would be a few others coming soon too. Then she pulled out the breakfast she had in a casserole warmer for Maura. A thermos of Peruvian Blue coffee came next. It was one of Maura's favorites. She pulled out Jane's Red Socks jersey. Angela pondered who would end up wearing it since lately Maura had it on all the time. Then she settled into the chair and began reading the latest soap opera dish. Nurses came in and out checking Jane's vitals. The couple never woke. Finally, close to eleven o'clock Jane stirred. She pressed the button not noticing her mother. Angela watched her daughter struggle with her ill health, but said nothing. She had been down this road too many times now.
"Jane, how can I help you?" said the sweet voice of Nurse Kelly.
"A little more pain than I like and I feel real hot." Jane called back to Nurse Kelly.
"I'll be right in Jane. Hang in there." Nurse Kelly answered.
"Okay." Jane was loath to move Maura. Jane could tell the ME hadn't slept well for a while. So Jane held still and bit her lower lip from the pain until Nurse Kelly arrived. Nurse Kelly took her temperature noting it was still high. Nurse Kelly inserted a syringe to the IV quickly administering the medication. Then she switched syringes and added another.
"That should begin working in just a few minutes Jane." Nurse Kelly said as she bathed her brow. The nurse could see Jane struggling with the pain. "Jane, on a scale of one to ten, how is your pain."
"An eight, but it wouldn't be so bad if the fever didn't make me feel so bad too." Jane said softly starting to feel the medication kick in to her system. Nurse Kelly nodded noting what Jane had said.
"I am having some Jell-O and broth brought in to you. Do you think you could get that down?" the nurse asked. Jane nodded. Nurse Kelly gave Jane some ice chips. Jane's eyes fluttered shut as she let the ice melt in her mouth. The nurse left in search of a level one tray. Angela came over and bathed Jane's brow. Jane's eyes opened and she smiled.
"Hi ma." Jane's voice cracked a little from the dry air.
"Hey baby." Angela leaned forward and kissed Jane on the forehead. "So how are you feeling? Not that I don't understand they might be asking that all the time and you're fed up with people asking. After all Carla Tulucci says that some people have a bad habit of always wanting to know." Jane smiled as her mom rambled on. It seemed some things were getting back to normal.
"Ma, I don't mind you asking. I feel better, not great, but better." Angela smiled at Jane with relief.
"Good, cause my baby girl needs to get well to catch the bad guys." Angela whispered. Jane smiled more realizing her mother was humoring her, but then her face darkened into a frown.
"Not for a while mom. I think I am going to use a lot of that vacation I built up." Jane said softly sounding defeated in a way. Angela studied Jane for a while. Unbeknownst to the two women Maura had woken and was listening.
"What's wrong? Why the sudden change of heart?" Now Angela was worried. Jane had always wanted to be a cop. Even when Jane had shot herself she had wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. A complaining Jane was a recovering Jane. But Jane wasn't complaining now. She was complying and that scared Angela more than anything. It was like the "Oomph" had gone out of her.
"Maybe I'm just tired and want to rest for a change. It hasn't been an easy few months ma." Jane said letting her eyes closed though she wasn't tired. She was in less pain, but not tired. Jane hoped her mother took the Q and dropped her questioning.
"Jane Rizzoli, I have known you since I gave birth to you and before when you were in my womb. You don't just change your mind without something deep and traumatic going on in that brain of yours. Spill!" Angela demanded softly in that voice only mothers had that commanded respect and gut spilling. Jane sighed opening her eyes.
"What good am I ma if I can't even protect myself? How do I justify doing my job if I am endangering anyone I am with? Frost and Korsak how can they trust me in the field? I had a lot of time to think while Eric chased me through the forest. I want a life with Maura. How can I give that to her if I am getting hurt all the time?" Jane asked painfully remembering how inadequate and weak Eric made her feel while pinned to the tree. Angela saw the cracks beginning to show in her daughter's armor. It would have been the most opportune time for her to take advantage of it, but she didn't. It wasn't who she was inside. She wanted her children to live out their dreams.
"You listen to me Jane. I am your mother and know you pretty well. I have known since you were in the fourth grade you were going to become a police officer. Ever since you toured that police station on field trip and Officer McGuiness spoke to you. You have a fire in your heart for helping the victims and locking the bad guys away. You were born with an innate sense of people's character. So don't lay here and make excuses. You're scared Jane. I know you are! I have seen it before. Trust me when I say you can protect yourself. You're a good detective. There are very few like you and we need them all. What would Maura say Jane?" Angela asked firmly demanding Jane take other's people's viewpoints into consideration.
"I know ma. Just let me think about it." Angela could see Jane was tiring. She kissed her head.
"Don't doubt yourself honey. You are a strong, brave, and amazing woman. Just give it time." Angela whispered as Jane fell into sleep. Maura was lying beside Jane in shock. She couldn't believe what Jane had said. She needed to think about this and find a way to show Jane this could not have been prevented no matter who it had happened too. Yes, careful planning was called for here.