Thalia, Luke and Percy: I cannot believe you are back… What do you want?
Me( sounding deeply hurt): What do you mean what do I want? I am the author, here to update the story…
*Thalia, Luke and Percy gives me the ultra look of absolute hatred*
Poseidon: I cannot believe you have the nerve to come back after all those months… ALL THOSE MONTHS!
Me: Oh, not you as well Poseidon…
*Poseidon also gives me the ultra absolute look of hatred (which nearly incinerates all the mortal people in the room)*
Me: Okay look, I'm sorry I didn't update. I know it's been awhile but…I'm back and I promise to update as soon as I can… SWEAR ON THE STYX.
*Everyone looks grudgingly at me*
Me: You guys are the most wonderful bunch of characters I have ever met… you good looking bunch…
Thalia (smirking): You SUCK at flattery.
Me: Oh yeah! Remember how you said this:
"Wow, Apollo's hot!"- Chapter 4, The Titan's Curse
Apollo: Really? You said that?
*Thalia gives me looks of poison*
Thalia: NOT HELPING!
Me: Okay, sorry but seriously I missed you guys…
*SOPPY MUSIC COMES ON*
Annabeth: Then what are you waiting for? ON WITH THE STORY and it better be good…

(Personal note: Hearing threats from Annabeth is quite scary. The dagger's sharp you know.)

The quest team limped back to the cabins after going not very far. Why were they limping? I have not a clue but that is not the important part.
The important part is that they gathered around the front of the Poseidon cabin. They were forming a plan.

"You don't think the gods will let us watch the news will they?" asked Grover nervously, his hooves banging against each other like gongs.
DONG DONG DONG
Annabeth tried very hard to ignore the sound and said in her most authoritative voice, "No. We need a plan."
Everyone looked expectantly at Annabeth Chase.
"What?" asked Annabeth a little annoyed, "Do I have something on my face?"
Luke started to nod then got zapped by Thalia and started to shake his head, his hair fizzing slightly.
"Okay, we need to isolate-" Annabeth began but was drowned out by the sound of metal going through a grinder or something.
Grover continued to stuff aluminium cans in his mouth, "Here goes the coke," he said between bites.

Annabeth gave Grover The Look. It said if you don't shut up in the next five seconds, you'll probably have to use a walking stick the rest of your life.
Grover shut up.
"Now then," continued Annabeth, "We need to isolate the gods. Make them want to do something else rather than watch...than watch," she searched for the right word, her face screwed up in concentration.
Luke smirked but then went deadly serious as Bianca poked him in the ribs with her arrow. It was the sharp end. "Than watch STUPID HEPHASATUS T.V!" she finished loudly her eyes tearing up. Everyone looked sympathetic, even Luke. She was worried sick about Percy and so were they.
"I heard that!" came Hephaestus' voice from inside the cabin and everyone, despite the fact they felt miserable right now, cracked up.

They were still on the ground laughing their heads off when Dionysus poked his head through the cabin door. "Quiet you insufferable bunch of kids! Quiet! My Titans, I HATE kids, especially demigod kids. Can't even watch T.V properly when they're around, and it's Christmas too…"
"MR D!" It was Grover's voice, "Mr D, please. Percy's gone missing! We need to…to save him from doom!" Grover's hooves started banging together again, BONG BONG BONG. Poor Grover, trying to make up for annoying Annabeth had a boost of courage just then but that courage was now gone, leaving him to face Mr D's fury.
Mr D looked kind of pale, he was about to say something to Grover. Luke closed his eyes even though he was already dead and Annabeth cringed. Grover reached for his last aluminium can.
Something bad was going to happen.

Then Hephaestus put a hand on Mr D's shoulder and said something in Ancient Greek. Mr D shrugged and slowly headed back inside muttering something along the lines of, "I need another one of those Kronos mince pies…"
Everyone let out a big sigh.
"Well," reasoned Bianca, "You guys are still alive but still nowhere near finding Percy. "I don't think we want to risk annoying them again by asking them to switch the channel…"
Everyone nodded their agreement.
Luke started rubbing his arms. Thalia gave him a frown.
"Well," Luke began, obviously impressed by Grover's burst of courage, "I could still just ask my dad and Apollo… if they could change the channel. Apollo and I, we're practically best friends you know…"
Before anyone could say anything along the lines of NO… He ran inside.

The gods were all sitting around the extra large flat screen T.V. There was popcorn everywhere and while Demeter was busy siphoning it away by magic Apollo just sat back and kept stuffing it in his mouth. Zeus looked on in disapproval.
Luke suddenly felt awkward. Nobody even cared where their kids were, they must be the worst parents in Greek Mythology, in modern day America, in the ENTIRE WORLD.
He hastily approached Hermes sitting on the arm of the sofa (Apollo was now laying there siphoning M&Ms into his mouth, taking up the whole sofa).
"Ugh hey dad!" Luke began, trying to sound bright,
"Oh hey Luke," Hermes replied, turning to face Luke and a smile lit up his face, "I'm glad Hades let you out for a bit you know, it's good to have you back…"
"Ugh Dad? Can I ask you something?"
Hermes laughed, "Sure Luke…Anything!" Apollo jerked his head up from his laying position on the sofa and cracked a smile while shouting desperately, "He's lying, he's lying!"
Hermes clamped his hand on top of Apollo's mouth and ignored him while muffled sounds continued from a struggling Apollo. Luke looked at Apollo warily and continued, "Can we watch the news?"
Hermes frowned, "Anything but that Luke! Everyone's hooked you know! To change channels would mean Titan War III!"
"It's Percy..." he blurted out, "He's gone missing!"
That probably didn't mean anything to his dad, most Olympian parents only care about their kids and even that's caring for them in a subtle way. Most other demigod children created feelings of extreme hate or fury.
Hermes smiled, "Oh, if that's what you're worried about then watch T.V with us!"
That was the most ludicrous thing he'd heard all day. WATCH T.V while Percy could be in mortal danger?
Luke was about to head straight out again when an animated voice burst out from the T.V.
"Welcome to another episode of Keeping up with Mr Jackson! The reality T.V show that has got the Olympians hooked! To switch channels would cause Titan War III!"
Luke stopped in his tracks.
MR JACKSON?
Percy?
Apollo said through a mouthful of crisps, "He's right you know," while Hades nodded his agreement.
"Right about what?" asked Luke, temporarily stunned,
"Titan War III, haven't you been listening to anything?" piped in Aphrodite.

A burst of colour exploded on T.V with Percy's face in the middle and cheesy talk show music accompanying it. Athena looked up from her book, Aphrodite stopped applying makeup, Hephaestus cackled at the success of his show.

Luke sat down with a thump onto the nearest armchair and gazed at the T.V in astonishment.
A figure appeared on screen, a boy with dark hair and sea green eyes…
Percy, its Percy…Percy's on T.V.

Percy yawned as the sun came up in the sky making the sea glitter; he knew where the hidden cameras were and pretended not to see them.
He knew that his face would appear on millions of Hephaestus across the States and in other mythological realms. Maybe Calypso was watching…He smiled at the thought…Somewhere deep down, he still had a crush on Calypso.
The butler was about to come in any moment now, just like on the script. This was going to be a great show.
BAM. The door flew open. The butler entered and smiled an evil smile, at least what he hoped was an evil smile, manticores weren't actors after all. "Time for breakfast Mr. Jackson!" said Dr Thorn
(On normal occasions he would be impaling spikes into Percy but since it's the holiday season, he was happy just to play the bad guy.)
Percy put on a happy smile and walked with Dr Thorn/Butler towards the dining hall.

There was no food on the table, just row upon row of ingredients laid out. Dr Thorn got out a frying pan and said, "You name the breakfast."
"Ugh, waffles," said Percy, "With fresh cream and blueberries and lots and lots of sprinkles!"
The manticore butler started cracking eggs and buttering the Sunbeam waffle maker while Percy sipped some orange juice.

"OH MY TITIANS!" cried Apollo as he began pulling and yanking at his face, "NO! PERCY'S not going to be eaten? NO, MY PROPHECY'S WRONG!"
Hephaestus smiled a smug smile. Luke jumped out of his seat, "Oh my GODS!" he yelled pulling at his hair, "Percy's going to be eaten by…by…DR THORN?"

"No you silly child of 21, of course not, this is just a fictitious T.V Christmas special…"
"Oh," Luke breathed, flopping down.

Luke was gone for quite awhile and when he shouted OMGS really loudly, everyone came rushing in…
Annabeth looked distraught as Luke quietly sat down and watched the programme, "What's going on here?"
There was a chorus of SHHHs and the gang turned their eyes onto the T.V.
Athena magicked up some beanbags and everyone flopped down to watch Percy eating breakfast.

Me: Satisfied with the story?
*Annabeth stowed her dagger away*
* Percy still looked a little annoyed*
Percy: What about my detention story huh?
Me: I haven't forgotten and I plan to end this for once and for all
Luke, Thalia, Percy and everyone else: GOOD
Me: So if you'd tell us Percy…you'll find you know exactly what happened
Percy: Hey, you're right!
So there I was, standing in front of the big house, shivering in me boots…
Grover: But you don't even have any boots!
Percy: Okay fine, fine, do you want me to continue or not?
Grover: Sorry
Percy: Mr D opened the door and he beckoned for me to come in. He looked particularly evil in the twilight and I was scared…
Bianca: Really? Just scared?
Percy: Okay, fine. Petrified then…
*Bianca nodded her approval*
Percy: And I crept in hastily. I bet Mr D had some nasty jobs for me to do. He handed me a toilet brush and demanded that I go up stairs.
*Percy opened his eyes wide*
There was the bathroom on my right but Mr D yanked me off to the left... I knew that this was going to be bad, I entered and found myself face to face with a bathtub the made out of marble. It was hot and bubbly and smelt of grape bubble bath from the corner store. Mr D came in after me and with a pop he transported himself into the bathtub. With another wave of his hand a range of beautifying products appeared, there were nail varnishes and spa hot stones…
I was gobsmacked. My toilet brush had turned into one of those pumice stones for rubbing heels or something and Mr D looked at me expectantly and said, "Well son? What are you waiting for?"
So I spent a good half hour or so rubbing the dead skin off Mr D's heel…
*Annabeth looks at Percy with wonder*
Luke (in a hypnotised voice): Did Mr D really have a marble bathtub?
*Percy nodded*
Percy: Even worse we had to listen to Chiron's Frank Sinatra collection…
*Everyone looks at Percy sympathetically*
Luke: WOW, I can't believe Mr D has a marble bathtub! Let's go check it out!
*Everyone rushes out*