WARNING: Matureish-er themes :)

25. Like Fire

Give me love like never before,

'cause lately I've been craving more

~Give me Love; Ed Sheeran

I hadn't noticed the ache in my chest until Emily brought it up. It was shallow; a kind of dense pain that throbs consistently with every thump of your heart. It didn't necessarily hurt. It was just remarkably uncomfortable. Like an itch you couldn't scratch, a dry throat, or the sting of hunger; it was just there. Forgettable.

I rubbed the spot absentmindedly. The more you thought about, the more noticeable it became.

"That's where I feel it too." She nodded her chin in my direction and brought her mug to her lips. Her Adam's apple bobbed as she swallowed the thick brown liquid.

I looked down. My fingers were frozen an inch from my collarbone, on the left side. Right where my heart was. "What does it mean? I think I've felt it before." I recalled a time, many months ago when I had felt a pain very similar to the one I was feeling now.

She shrugged her shoulders and set her coffee cup down on the table in front of her. She leaned forward and looked me dead in the eye. "It means you miss him. You haven't seen him for a few days. It happens."

" Who? Jacob?"

She nodded. A small necklace around her neck became entwined between her caramel fingers. "Nobody really knows why it happens, but it always comes about when they are gone for some time. Sam says he gets it to, but it hurts worse than it does for us. He describes it as a fire running through his veins. A burn that can't be relieved."

"Jacob's never talked about it."

"Probably because he doesn't want you to feel bad," She said slowly, her eyes gazing over my head. "I took care of her, don't give me that look Jacob."

I turned around and smiled at Jake's sopping wet form, standing in the doorway. Silently, he closed the door behind him and made his way over to me. Warm breath swept across my skin, making me shiver, as his lips pressed against my temple.

"Give me a minute." He mumbled huskily into my ear, making another wave of tingles shake my body.

He turned and disappeared down the hallway. Emily was piling freshly baked muffins on a metal tray. One by one, wet, muscular bodies filed into the tiny kitchen and grabbed as many as they wanted. I helped her refresh them, as greedy hands fought, crumbling and murdering some to dust. Minutes later, Jacob's arms wound around my waist. I looked up to him, to see his mouth forming shapes.

The second the words left his mouth, the boisterous noises the other boys made, drowned out his muted mumbles.

Instead of fighting to hear him, I pushed past the other bodies. Knowing Jacob would follow, I left the house and went to my truck, offering only a small wave to Emily who struggled to keep up the demand for her food. I felt bad for abandoning her at a time like this, but I was only taking up valuable space in the cramped kitchen.

Just as I expected, Jacob's form retreated from the house and over to my truck. He cleaned up. Freshly shaven, hair slicked back and smooth, and his clothes were neat and in order. He climbed into the driver's side, and smiled over at me. "Why were you other here? I told you I'd pick you up from your house as soon as I could."

"She called me and told me she was lonely. Sam's been taking extra long shifts too, hasn't he? I snagged you a muffin by the way." I pulled the still steaming cranberry muffin from its plastic wrap, and handed it to him. He took it with a silent word of thanks; a little bob of his head.

"Yes, but not for the same reason I am." He mumbled as he stuffed the muffin down his throat in just two bites.

I looked at him, at his face as he drove. It was molded in concentration. Eyebrows scrunched together; his hands in defensive positions on the steering wheel. "Then what," I asked quietly, "She never said anything."

"Because he hasn't told her." His hands gripped the wheel more tightly, "He promised her they would try for a baby as soon as the threat went away. She knows the Cullens…are gone, so she assumes they can now. He's avoiding her."

"But they're not…Grace's parents…parent is a vampire."

"I know." He said slowly, obviously taking consideration to form every word carefully. His eyes never left the road as he spoke, "I knew she knew them somehow, from the first time I met her. Sam knew too. That's why he left as soon as you guys walked in that one time. Embry's been using the imprint to find out info on her family. She doesn't know that they are vampires."

"Embry's using her? And you told me that Sam didn't like me. You lied to me?"

"No not using her…that was the wrong word." He shook his head back and forth, and swiftly merged onto the exit. The Forks road sign flew by, " Not really. He doesn't like you."

"Why? I've done nothing to him," I argued.

"He thinks you're using me." He glanced over. An emotionless mask concealed his usual vibrant face. I could tell that whatever Sam thought about me, had Jacob experiencing some sort of doubt. Whether he believed it or not, it still took me off guard.

"Using you? Is he crazy? Of course I'm not!" I stammered.

"I hope not."

"I'm not Jacob. I promise. Why would he think that?"

"Because you're a leech lover. Because he's gone, and now you're with me. If he comes back Bella…what are you going to do? Are you going to run to him? Are you going to forget all about me?"

His voice was as sharp as nails. It hurt me for him to think that what I felt and said to him was a lie. He's too amazing to be used, and I can't believe that he would think I would be capable of hurting my best friend like that. I'd had many low moments in my life, but I would never be able to go to that extremes. "That's what you think?"

His shoulders rose and fell abruptly. "Do you want to go to the movie theater?" He mumbled, effectively dismissing the conversation. But I knew that we would never have a pleasurable date if too many words went unspoken, so I didn't let up.

"Do you Jacob?" I pressed. My eyes hung on his as I spoke.

Instead of ignoring me like I expected, the truck veered off the empty highway, and bounced along the rough gravel of the ditch until it rolled to a stop among the greening vegetation. He swiveled in his seat to face me. His hulking figure smothered the tranquility out of the air, replacing it with dread, doubt, and anger. I pressed myself back against the window, remembering Emily's scarred face. Remembering what lurked beneath the surface of his usual calm façade, of what the monster inside of him was capable of.

"Should I?" He snapped. Something inside of him changed as he stared at me. His mouth fell open, the harsh slits of his eyes widened and softened, and he turned back in his seat to face the setting sun that peeked over the edge of the trees.

Softly, I said, "No Jacob. You shouldn't."

The Adam's apple in his throat bobbed as he swallowed his anger. Calmly, he pulled the car off the shoulder of the road and back on the pavement. As he drove, I took a glance at him, and prayed that the best of our date wouldn't be tinged with a sour taste.

Jacob's fork stabbed into his side salad at a restaurant I had already forgot its name in Seattle. He hadn't said more than 10 words to me for the entire ride, and even we sat facing each other with the curtains drawn close, the lights casting a sultry glow to the room, and soft music coming from the grand piano, he wouldn't so much as look at me for any longer than he had to. He was starting to cause a scene too. Every time something didn't go exactly how Jacob wanted, he would curse. The annoyed glares from the passionate couples surrounding us were getting more and more frequent with every passing second.

"Jacob…" I mumbled after he dropped a loud f-bomb after the crouton wouldn't go on his fork.

"What Bella?" He asked without looking at me.

"Forget about him. Stop thinking about him." I could tell by the way his mouth scrunched up that he was thinking about Edward. He always had problems saying his name, much like I used to have. It wasn't so much as painful for him, but bitter. He looked like he was sucking on a lemon when he would spat out his name. His mouth struggled to form the words, and it looked just that way now.

It softened quickly, and his head bobbed up and down in submission. "Sorry Bells." He mumbled, but the thick mask of melancholy wouldn't let up.

Half way through dinner, I thought I saw a glimpse of his signature sunny smile slip through when I dropped my fork on the ground, and banged my head coming back up. But by the time the throbbing pain had subsided, he was back to shoveling forkfuls of pasta into his trap, and a neutral expression was cooling his face. By the end of the date, however, he was just like his old self; making stupid jokes that could somehow make me laugh through the serious atmosphere.

When I finished my meal, Jacob was just scraping the chocolate sauce off his plate. Graciously, he pulled out his wallet before I could open my bag, and paid the waiter a handsome tip. He earned exactly 3 kisses for that.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked pointedly, as Jacob pocketed his ID, and pulled me through the theater doors.

"What was what?"

"You're not 18-"

He cut me off with a finger to my lips. His voice dropped to a mumble, as he ushered me into a row at the back, "Sam got them for us. He told us, that should something arise in our line of work…that we would need them for, that we should have them. He knows a guy in Seattle that makes them for a living. Seattle's filled with shady little businesses. J. Jenks his name is."

"I think the Cullen's knew him." I said slowly. The name sparked an ancient memory to ignite in my brain.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He mumbled. His voice trailed off as the previews switched into the opening credits.

For the first time, I actually got to take a look around the theater. It was practically empty except for an old couple in the first row.

I looked over at Jacob to see his eyes glued to the screen. From what I could see in the minimal light of the theater, the entire whites were showing. "Why did you pick this movie…"

"Huh? Well Little Miss Sunshine was sold out, so I just though-" I cut myself off this time when I finally looked at the screen. To my surprise, the movie Captive wasn't an action packed thriller about a psycho killer, but a hardcore S&M video, "Oh my god… So that's why the old lady at the ticket booth looked at me so weird when I asked for these."

"And why I needed the ID." He finished for me. Though I couldn't look at the screen, or listen to the obnoxious moans flitting out of the speakers behind our head, Jacob was all over it. Or at least, that's what it looked like. The expression he was wearing, was neutral, and could be interpreted either way.

"Jacob…" I whined, once the speakers behind my head started to emit terrible sounding grunts and groans. I was getting uncomfortable, and the scenes that played on the screen were the opposite of sexy. It was no wonder the place was dead.

I tugged on the hem of his t-shirt, but he didn't budge.

"Jacob…" I moaned again in displeasure.

Knocking me back a little, Jacob suddenly sprang up. In one fluid motion, the movie doors parted, leaving me all alone with only a whoosh of his departing air to keep me company. It took me a few minutes to pull myself from the chair and follow his rushed footsteps out of the movie theater's doors.

Once outside, the hustle and bustle of the ten o'clock rush blocked any sight of his hulking figure. Just as I was about to give up and go outside to my truck, a group of guys excited the men's washroom. Before the door, could swing closed, I thought I seen a glimpse of the jeans Jacob had worn.

Without thinking twice, I rushed up to the group of guys who were talking and laughing among themselves. I walked up to one at the outermost circle of the group and bit my lip as I waited for him to notice me. The smell of alcohol emanating from the group was sickening, and I knew that they wouldn't glimpse me unless I made my presence known, "Excuse me." I mumbled.

Surprisingly, the one I was closest to looked down, "Why hello little lady…what can I help you with?" The rest of his friends quieted, and looked me up and down. Instantly I felt violated, even though the looks were innocent enough. They gave off a certain…vibe that made me uncomfortable. Probably because there was so many of them, and they looked to be in their mid-twenties.

"I-Is my boyfriend in there?" I stammered. I realized too late, that it probably wasn't the right thing to say as a few of the guys burst into laughter. The one I had talked with shook his head.

"I'm going to need a better description than that darling." An amused chuckle slipped through his crooked teeth.

"Uh…" I suddenly shouldn't think of any adjectives to describe him, "He's tall, really tall and-d…"

The look of recognition on his face, made me trail off. "Yeah he's in there." A weird, slopped smirk took control of his face, "You better be a good girlfriend tonight."

"What?"

Him and his buddies burst into hysterical laughter. I took a step back, confused at why that would be taken as funny, "So naïve. It mean-"

But before he could finish the rest of his sentence, one of Jacob's burning hot hands dragged me away. The cold air hit like a ton of bricks, and Jacob breathed an audible sigh once he exited the theater's main doors. We walked down the streets of Seattle to my truck where he quickly slunk into the driver's seat.

"Sorry…I'll take you to see another movie some other time. I just can't go back there." One of his hands rubbed down his face, and something resembling a blush painted his face.

I nodded, "It wasn't a good movie."

He started the truck and drove off into the night.

After I few silent moments, I broke it by asking a question that was chewing at the back of my mind, "What did they mean by, 'I'd better be a good girlfriend tonight?'"

He shook his head, and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel, "Nothing Bella."

"No they meant something by it. They even laughed when I didn't get it."

"Nothing Bella." He repeated through clenched teeth.

I looked over at him. Beads of perspiration dotted his forehead, and his eyesnarrowed into slits, which seemed risky when driving at night. He had only one hand on the steering wheel, which again seemed dangerous should something pop out of the ditch in front of the car. The other was lying uselessly on his crotch…

It only took me 10 minutes, but I finally got it. I smirked to myself and watched the scenery blow by my window. "Oh…I'll be a good girlfriend tonight." I mumbled inaudibly to my reflection in the glass.

Jacob leaned down to kiss me goodnight. Our lips molded together on contact. And though it was just as sweet and lustful as it had always been with Jacob, something bigger lurked beneath it. It was desire. Desire like a blazing fire that couldn't be contained any longer. It had started to consume me; eating away every last ounce of resolve I had in me to wait. I knew it would happen tonight. But would letting go douse the fire? Or feed the flames?

When he tried to pull away, I pulled him back. When his lips started to slow, I sped up. When his hands stayed rigid at his sides, I let mine explore the surface area of his chest. And when our push and pull game finally started to earn a reaction from him, I drew back. The look on his face was priceless. But when I fumbled with the button on his jeans, it was snapshot worthy.

"B-Bella…" He stammered, his eyes widened to impossible sizes. His resolve and dignity crumbled away as his jeans fell to his ankles, "Your dad…" His voice was caught in his throat, and his breath thick on my neck.

"He's gone." I hissed. "Work or something." My confidence in this situation was surprising even me. I started to jerk on my button, but his hands knocked mine away and he did it himself. The light brushes from his knuckles on my stomach, made my heart beat so fast I thought it would burst.

I was hauled up into his arms before I could protest. We crashed down the hallway together, taking breaks to kiss, fist our hands in each other's hair, or rip off some remaining fragment of each other's clothing. With every one of his touches, I craved more. Every sound or moan he made, I wanted to hear it again.

The bonfire we were creating was smoldering. It left no room for embarrassment, second guesses, or regrets. I didn't even care that a couple of vases in the hallway were smashed to smithereens, or that the wall behind my headboard now sports a permanent dent. All that mattered to me was to extinguish the flames that were tearing me apart, and to get the relief I so desperately craved.

I have never and will never feel a feeling greater than the one that bubbled inside of me, the first time Jacob and I made love.