Hi guys. :) thanks for the reviews. Hope you like the new chapter. Not the happiest... But this WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. :)
You ever loved somebody so much, you can barely breathe, when you're with em you meet, and neither one of you even knew what hit em, got that warm fuzzy feeling yeah them chills used to get em now you're getting effing sick of looking at em?
Eminem feat. Rihanna (love the way you lie)
...
"Iggy wants to know if you want some lunch,"
It's Ari.
He's standing in the doorway, looking small and young, and I know I should talk, comfort him, but I can't bring myself to move.
I lay on the bed, eyes squeezed shut and breathing slow.
I wonder what Sam was thinking before he jumped.
If he thought about me, Ari, Iggy.
Why would he do this to us?
Ari walks over and gently touches my shoulder.
"Maxie?" He says quietly.
I open my eyes.
"Do you want lunch?" He repeats, words slow, as if he's talking to a child.
I shake my head, eyes dull.
I guess, right now, I am a child.
I hate that Sam has reduced me to this; weak, dependant, helpless.
Why would he do this to me?
...
"Max."
"Yes, Sam?"
I make my voice as annoyed as possible.
I hear him clear his throat over the phone.
"Uh... I'm sorry, Max. I really am. I just... I promise it won't happen again."
I snort.
That's what you said last time.
"Fine." I let out a deep breath. "Whatever. It won't happen again, right? Of course not." My tone is tinged with sarcasm.
"Max," his voice is pleading.
I sigh.
"I know, alright," I mutter. "Just... Maybe try a little harder to keep your promise next time."
"It won't happen again." His voice is sure. I frown a little.
"Ok," I say, hearing the doubt seep into my own voice.
He makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat.
"I mean it, Max. I'm changing. It won't happen again." He repeats.
I blow a long breath out through my nose.
"I know, Sam. I'm sorry."
...
"Oh my god,"
Sam stares at his hands, shock and disbelief etched into his features.
"Oh my god."
My head is still turned to the side from his hit, hair stuck to my throbbing cheek. I slowly raise a hand and touch it gently, wincing at the bolt of pain that shoots through my neck.
"What have I done?"
His voice is full of pain.
I turn to look at Sam, betrayal in my eyes.
"Oh my god, Max."
He reaches out and touches my arm, as if to make sure I'm still here. I flinch away.
"Max," he whispers. "I'm so sorry. I'm a monster. Just like them."
I swallow, suddenly feeling as if there's a knife stuck in my throat, slowly twisting.
"Oh god, Max, say something," he begs. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I promise."
A tear slowly makes it's way down his cheek.
"I promise." He murmurs again, voice breaking.
Sam pulls me into his arms, and I don't resist. I'm numb.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers into my hair. "So, so sorry."
And then he kisses my cheek gently, the one he hit, and I let him.
"It's ok," I whisper, eyes trained on the wall, unable to look at him. "It's ok, Sam."
...
"Look at me!" He giggles, arms spread wide. "Maxie, look at me!"
I sigh, rubbing my temples.
"Sam, it's time to go home now."
He pouts childishly, folding his arms.
"But Max," he whines. "I don't wanna."
"Come on," I say tiredly. "Let's go."
"No!" He says stubbornly, words slurring slightly. I roll my eyes.
"How old at you, again?"
Sam ignores me, attempting to do a headstand.
"No, no, no," I order, grabbing his arm. "No need for vomit at the moment."
He laughs.
"Come on, Maxie. Have some fun. Stop being such a party pooper."
I pull him to his unsteady feet, and he leans heavily on me.
I can smell the beer on his breath.
"Maxie," he draws out the word.
He only calls me 'Maxie' when he's drunk.
"Yes, Sam." I sigh, practically dragging him back to my apartment.
"Maxie, you're so thin. You need to eat more." He pinches my arm, hard. "I can see your bones."
"You're drunk," I grit my teeth. "Just shut up until we get back to the apartment."
"I'm not drunk," he attempts to say clearly.
"Sure," I mutter sarcastically. "And it's never going to happen again, right? Of course not."
...
"Maaaaax,"
Sam dances in, grinning happily, hands behind his back.
"Guess what I got?" He shakes his hips playfully. I roll my eyes and laugh.
"What did you get?" I ask.
"I got you a birthday present!" He says gleefully, setting a mysteriously shaped package on the table before grabbing my hands and waltzing me around the room.
I wrap my arms around him and smile.
"This is better," I murmur, so low I think he can't hear. But he does, and he smiles, slow and genuine, and brings my mouth to his in a gentle kiss.
"Much better," I mumble.
He pulls away, too quick, and flashes me a cheeky grin.
"Now you have to open it," he demands, eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Okay, okay," I laugh.
I rip the wrapping paper off and gasp. It's an iPod Nano.
"Sam, you shouldn't have," I whisper.
He smiles.
"But I did," he presses a soft kiss to the side of my mouth. "And your expression makes it so worth it."
I chuckle.
"I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too."
And he pulls me into him and spins me around, all the while with a bright, happy smile on his face, and I can't help but think, that without the alcohol, without the abuse-
This is the real Sam.
...
I wake up with Sam nuzzling my neck.
"Sam," I murmur, my voice hoarse. "What are you doing?"
He half-smiles against my skin.
"I love you, you know that, right?" His brown eyes bore into mine.
"Yeah," I mumble. "I love you too." I peck his lips and close my eyes again.
I'm just drifting asleep again when his voice interrupts my peacefulness.
"But really.. Do you... Really know I love you?" His voice is strange. I open my eyes and gaze at him. His eyes are worried.
"Of course," I say.
"It's just.. Sometimes I think- with all I do... I really love you, you know that? I really do. I wouldn't have made it this far without you."
I don't know what he means, but I don't ask.
"You love me," I smile. "And I love you. It's simple."
"Is it really?" He murmurs, his chest rumbling underneath me. But I drift asleep before I get the chance to answer, and in the morning all that's left of our conversation is a blur.
...
I don't realise I'm crying until a drop of liquid falls onto the sheets. I bury my head into my knees and shake quietly.
A muffled sob escapes my closed lips.
He's gone.
He's really gone.
Ok guys. :) let me know what you think. Listen to Eminem's Love the Way You Lie during this- it really fits.
SS