Alright. First thing, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year, my dear readers. Further author's notes are voiced by the characters in this year's Christmas special. :) Hope you like it. With no further ado, enjoy!
No Reading
Chapter 24: You've got to study history
"C-Come on, boy. Don't be crazy! You're young, you have all your life waiting for you!"
"For the last time, I'm just waiting for a lift!" Naruto was starting to get annoyed. Once he had been dropped by Cloak in Los Angeles, he had given Nico a call. After getting Molly settled down and stopped her from stealing the phone, she had told him to wait for a lift on top of the skyscraper in Los Angeles' fox plaza. Only thing, someone had noticed him standing on top of it in the usual position for an intended suicide and was now trying to 'stop him'. Good thing he was too occupied to call for anyone else.
"P-Please don't jump! Otherwise I'm sure I will have to go into therapy! I'm just sure of it!"
"Geez… Selfish bastard. I should… Uh?" Naruto noticed something down the skyscraper, and he understood what they meant with a lift. "Ah, here's my lift! Goodbye!" Said that, Naruto stepped out and dropped off the skyscraper.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S BACK TO THERAPY!"
--
"Damn. What was that? A wormhole? I'm impressed, magical girl."
"Keep teasing me, will you?" It had appeared out of the wormhole she had created just for an instant, and already she wanted to hit him.
"Yahi! You're back!" Molly didn't seem to share her sentiments, it seemed, if the flying glomp was any indication.
"Hey! Watch it with your superstrength!" For real. His ribs were in serious danger, if the crack from where Molly had hugged him was any indication.
"Hey, welcome back." Victor waved at him from the back of the room, and Naruto waved back weakly. "So, the call came as a real surprise. What brings you on the west coast?"
"… Well…" Naruto expected that question, and it seemed that Molly had noticed how serious he had suddenly become, her hug lessening in strength. "Something happened, and I had to get away from the 'Civil War'… To run away from it. I need time to think."
"… Eh." Nico suddenly gently tapped him on the head with the top of her staff. "Seems like we have an honorary member."
"Yes! Can I show him around, Nico?! Pleasepleaseplease!" The hug was broken, but the strength with which the young mutant was pulling him was not indifferent either, if Naruto's cringing was any indication.
"You can, but I suggest…"
"YEAH!"
"AHHHH! MY SHOULDER! YOU'RE DISLOCATING MY SHOULDER!"
"… You lay off with the superstrength." The goth girl sighed. Molly had gone and disappeared with her victim in hand before she could finish. Too bad for Naruto, she guessed, but a little payback was in order, though.
--
"And then we've chosen our team cry! 'Runaways, together!'"
"I know that it breaks the fourth wall in some way, but I'm not enough Deadpool yet to understand how." Naruto had been showed around by Molly indeed, and it seemed like after the incident in the cave the Runaways had decided to relocate somewhere else, as in, under some kind of museum's boiling mud pit or something. To correct Naruto, it's the La Brea Musem's tar pits, and it's their parents' old hideout. "So… Nice place, I must say. Better than the last one."
"Nice to see it meets your approval." Naruto turned around and welcomed Karolina's present with a warm smile and a hug. "It's good to see you again."
"You too… Ehm, is your girlfriend still angry with me for the Oiroke incident?"
"Eheheh… A bit." Karolina said, releasing Naruto from a hug. "How much are you going to stay in town?"
"Well… A few days, I think. I need to clear my head and think carefully about what I'm doing before going back into the fray."
"Ahh… A retreat. Understood." Karolina said, smiling again to Naruto.
"So… What is one to do in Los Angeles to have fun?"
--
"Weeeeh!"
"… Does she get excited that easily? It's… I mean, I know it's Molly we're talking about, but… It's a teacup ride…" First stop, Disneyland. Nico had really started to use her powers better. She had cast a spell on the whole group to make them look like a different person, and to make sure to be able to re-use it, she had described in detail each and everyone of their new personas. Also, she had specified that they would appear differently to everyone but themselves and their friends.
"It's mainly because this is the first time she has come near Disneyland at all." Nico replied, taking a bit of her cotton candy. "Her parents were two mind-reading mutants. That just screams 'no-nonsense parents'… That, or she's just that hyper."
"Hmmm… I guess…" Naruto put in his mouth some more sweet popcorn as they watched Molly 'wee' more and more. The group had split up after a discussion about which attractions to ride, and he and Nico had been stuck up with Molly-sitting. After three rides on the teacups, they decided to let her go on her own. "… So, how did having supercriminals as parents work for you?"
"For the first sixteen years of my life, pretty good, since I wasn't aware of it. Then we discovered that they wanted to sacrifice the whole world to a triad of demons and turn us six into the new Adams and Eves of the new world… Well, not really. The point is, things went downhill from there." Nico replied, licking her fingers to clean them from the stickiness.
"Six…" Naruto began to count in his mind while holding the contained of the popcorn upside down over his open mouth. Nico, Molly, Chase, Victor, Karolina, Xavin. The number fit. "I wonder how Xavin's parents were."
"… Victor and Xavin were later addictions to our group." Naruto turned to Nico again, crunching and swallowing the last mouthful of popcorn. "The original six were me, Molly, Chase, Karolina… Alex and Gert."
"… What happened to the other two?"
"… Alex betrayed us. He actually wanted to go along with his parents' plans. We managed to stop them just thanks to a stroke of luck and inner fighting… And Alex bit the dust. He deserved it, but still…" Naruto kept on staring at Nico. "Gert was the previous owner of Old Lace. She died when… Alex's young dad from the past came into our present and made a mess of everything. She died in the process, and passed ownership of her dinosaur to Chase."
"… I'm sorry, I…" Naruto crashed the container of the popcorn in his hands and threw it away, miraculously making it land in a far away trash can. "I didn't know."
"It's alright. We miss Gert, but… We've got to endure." Nico said, finishing her cotton candy and starting to lick the wooden stick, much to Naruto's flushing. She did some fine things with her tongue, and she was shamelessly doing it in public. A 50 years old woman doing that would look creepy indeed. "So… What about you?"
"… I've never known my parents. They probably died the night I was born. Big ugly demon attacking my village and all." Nico cringed. "The strange thing, though… It's that I've never managed to get a hold of their names, nor a picture of them… Nothing, and I don't have a single living relative either, it seems. Even for bad luck, that's too much, don't you think? Ever since I got this treatment that let me got all my memories back… Well, I think they were some kind of special ninjas or something, because there's no way that someone wouldn't at least have heard of them. Maybe they just kept it hidden from me out of spite…"
"Spite? For a child?" Nico threw the wooden stick to the floor, while Naruto nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"You know that red energy? It's the energy of a demon that's sealed in my belly. Most powerful one of my world." Nico's eyes widened at that. "It seems that the only way to keep it under control was to seal it in a newborn child. The night I was born."
"… The demon that attacked your village… And that probably killed your parents too?" Naruto nodded.
"And a lot of other people. They needed a scapegoat for their rage and sadness… And they chose the container of the demon." Naruto shook his head, smiling sadly. "I guess that when I go back home, that's another thing I will need to address."
"… I suppose. Even if my parents were scumbags…" Nico put a hand on her left arm, not believing what she was about to admit. "Well, they loved me and I loved them… Before knowing what they wanted to do with the world. I just… I can't imagine what it's like not having someone to call your relative."
"… Darn, now you're in the sad phase." Naruto then put a hand on Nico's head, much to her confusion. "Damn you and your PMS. Want a hug, emo witch?"
"… See if I worry about you anymore, jerk." The goth girl blushed and pushed him away.
"There's no need to do it. Even if we have no family…" He turned his gaze to the teacup ride, which had stopped, to see Molly running towards the two of them. Nico followed his gaze and smiled. "We have a lot of good friends, do we not?"
"… Yes, we do."
"Hey! What are you standing around for?! I want to go in the haunted hotel, now!"
--
While Naruto was relaxing and thinking about how lucky he was to have friends, back in New York, two other superheroes were redefining the terms of their relationship.
"Peter, you're acting like a lunatic. Why can't we just sit down and discuss this like grown-ups?"
"Because there's nothing to discuss, Tony. I'm leaving the Avengers." Ever since Peter had joined the Avengers, Tony had took the Spider-Man under his wing, impressed by his rare intelligence and genius. Too bad that then came the Civil War. "I don't have a problem with working with S.H.I.E.L.D.! But locking heroes in the negative zone for life? The cyborg killing Bill Foster like that? C'mon, man! You're in over your head!"
"What are you talking about? Even though Thor reacted like a police officer would, don't forget that Bill Foster was a friend of mine. You really think we're going to let something like that happen again?" Tony knew it was too early for Peter to see the negative zone prison, but he had asked, sadly. "What do you suggest we do with the unregistered super-people? Lock them up with regular prisoners, maybe in Ryker's? They would be out again in five minutes."
Tony was completely missing the point, though, since what had irked Peter was that they had been imprisoned for life just for not signing, and without even having had a regular process. They were supposed to abide by the law, and yet they were twisting it around as they pleased for their ends. "What you need to appreciate is that there are forces with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government who would like nothing more than to absolutely outlaw all superhumans! The compromise we offered them was regulating our behavior! Because going back to the good old days was never on the table, Peter!"
"Get out of my way…" He just didn't get it, did he? He knew all that, he just didn't care if the price was that.
"Don't be a fool! Do you really think you can just go back to your old life now that everyone knows who you are? This isn't just about you anymore! What about May? What about Mary Jane?" That was when Spiderman punched the Iron Man through a wall, shattering concrete and wood… In a skyscraper?
"Aunt May and Mary Jane are as far away as possible." Tony shook his head, since it seemed that talking would take them nowhere. He charged his repulsor blasts and aimed.
"I'm disappointed in you, Peter…" He fired again and again, but Peter just kept on dodging and heading towards a window while syllabising the sentence 'Not as disappointed as I am in myself…'. That was when Peter discovered that the glass wasn't that breakable, as he found face out face first. "Avengers headquarters. Reinforced glass. Now…"
"Stand back, mister Stark! We've got him!" Then the S.H.I.E.L.D. team broke in and opened fire, effectively shattering the glass and sending Peter flying outside.
"Stop! Hold your fire!" Too late. Peter was already falling towards the ground. "Dammit." Tony went and chased after him.
--
"Wow…"
"What? You've never seen a beach?"
"Second time in my life I ever see the sea, actually! And damn, does California have it good!" There are more beautiful coasts in the world, like the ones of the red sea, but Californian beaches just burst with life, with all the people on them. So vary, so many… And so many breast implants, but Naruto's attention was mostly on the sea. "Race you to the water!"
"Hey! No fair! You've got an headstart! And you've got orange trunks! You can mimetize!"
"Isn't anyone going to correct her on her grammar?" Chase asked, but the group just shrugged and slowly followed the two hyper members of their group to the water. Then Chase remembered something. "Hey, Victor. Are you… I mean, you and water…"
"I'm a hybrid, and I've gone to the beach and took baths regularly long before I discovered I was." Victor said, and walked past Chase who just scratched the back of his head.
"Geez… My parents would have had a field day studying you."
"Molly splash!"
"Wah… Bleah!" Naruto was with his mouth open as Molly splashed him with water and superstrength. "Hey! I had my mouth open!"
"Hmmm… Hey, guys…" Nico had been the last to enter the water, and suddenly all attention was on her because of her tone. "We have a little revenge to exact, right?"
"… Nico, you're a genius."
"H-Hey!" Suddenly, all the Runaways began to water-splash Naruto, remembering just how he had basically defeated and ridiculized all of them. "Hey! Knoc-Sput!" Nothing. The attack was relentless. … Alright. Let's see if this works… Among the many things Naruto had memorized, there was the fight between Zabuza and Kakashi. All those handseals… Bad thing that usually, one didn't remember that clear of a version of the fight to take his time to analyze each handseal and memorize them. I really need to buy those girls a gift.
"Ahahah! Take th… Uh?" Suddenly, they noticed that Naruto had started doing something with his hands and that the water was starting to move around and behind him. Everyone stopped doing what they did and their gaze were dragged to the evil grin Naruto was sporting.
"Suiton! Daibakufu!"
"Sui-Wh… AAAAAAH!" Suddenly the water in front of Naruto literally exploded, and shot away everyone around, including every member of the Runaways and a few other beach-dwellers. Naruto cringed, thinking that he had expelled a little quantity of chakra… Then he remembered that his quantity of chakra was relatively enormous. Chase was the first to recover. "W-What the hell was that?!"
"Ehm… Sorry. Ninja secret." The beating he got while Nico brainwashed the beach in forgetting an explosion of water was epic.
--
"Ah, nothing better than have a picnic on the top of a mountain range after a morning on the beach, hn?"
"Seriously, Nico. Your magic is so overpowered that it's not even funny." Naruto said while scratching his right arm. Wool itched. "You can basically do everything as long as you've not done it once! Are there no limitations?"
"I've been experimenting. First, I can't seem to maintain two spells at the same time. Also, in case it's about a black magic spell… Well, there's a size limitation. No Hiroshima anytime soon." Naruto wanted to add 'Thank god', because everyone who got their hands on the staff could cast a spell, basically. "I think it's because of the… Source."
"That's what I wanted to ask about next. I mean, what powers the staff?"
"… Pain and painful memories." Naruto's eyes blanked. "The staff appears when my blood is shed, right? I think that it's not much about the blood, but the pain. It always goes back in my body after a couple of uses because the pain of a cut is relatively little. If I were to like, stab myself, I could probably use more spells before the staff disappears again… Which makes me wonder, how do other people use it just by grabbing it in their hands."
"… That's not very comfortable… Oh, well." Naruto dug in his sandwich again. Italian ham eaten on an Italian mountain in the middle of summer. The best thing ever. "So you guys do this all the time?"
"Most of the time, we monitor L.A. for supervillains, but after the stunt with you and the Young Avengers, we thought that at least until the whole Civil War thing blows over, we keep a low profile. Claro, no?" Victor bit in his own sandwich, forgetting that tomato slices tend to slip out of bread.
"Heh… Yeah. You better do that… As long as it keeps on going on like this." Naruto bit into his own, then Xavin decided to talk.
"Like this… How?"
"Without a sense, Xavin. One side should represent the law but they twist it to obtain what they want. The other side has all the heart in this world, but they fight for the wrong reasons… No, scratch that. They both fight the wrong way for the right reasons…" Naruto groaned. "I had a talk with captain America before coming here, you know?"
"Meh. He has bad breath." Naruto blinked while the rest of the group chuckled.
"… Whatever. The point is, he told me to think about the war… But how am I supposed to do that? I know nothing about war, now that I think about it." Naruto said. The only thing he knew about war were the few history class he took during the academy, but would they apply to his own situation? Victor suddenly smiled.
"Well, I think we can fix that quickly… Amigo."
--
"Los Angeles museum of the holocaust…"
"It was this or the Museum of Tolerance. I always preferred this one, actually. The Museum of Tolerance points too much on making the holocaust personal…" Naruto had entered the museum a few minutes ago, but already he was starting to feel something in his stomach. Just him, Victor and Nico had gone inside, since they had decided to not bring Molly in, they split the group up. "It's not exactly a museum about war… But this is about the consequences of war."
"The most horrible consequence of war ever…" Naruto continued to look around, and he really felt uneasy looking at everything in the room. They had stopped in front of a collage of photos and newspapers, it seemed. Two titles were cut out and stood out above everything else: 'Jews murdered' and 'Massacre'.
"… The short version? I feel like puking already…" Looking at some of the pictures, seeing how the people in them looked hopeless… And weak, so weak. He had seen dead bodies, but living people reduced to such a state… It was revolting. Disgust as well as anger was surging in him, even if there were no photos of those people's torturers that he could lay his eyes on, in his line of sight.
"Basically, World War II was the worst war in history. Because of the number of men and weapons, but mostly because it was the first war ever where civilians got targeted deliberately."
"… All these people and they weren't even soldiers?" That was a stupid question, seeing as he had seen pictures of children too, in the museum.
"Nope. They were scapegoats." Victor continued, keeping on looking around. "This monster named Hitler used them as scapegoats to foment the spirits of his followers. He gave Jewish people the fault of many of Germany's problems, and when he declared war on the world, his range of persecution just extended."
"You mean… Everywhere he went, not only he conquered countries… But he deliberately searched out these people and… Killed them?" Victor just nodded, narrowing his eyes.
"They did even worse… When they conquered Poland, they shut down their universities and prohibited theatre. They wanted to destroy their existence, their culture…" Victor shook his head. "And they say Victor von Doom is evil."
"… But why?" Naruto had stopped walking, fixated on a single picture out of the whole wall. "I mean, to do this, he led an army. An army of… Millions, maybe, right? Why? Why did they do these horrible things?"
"… When the war was over, most of them replied: 'I was just following orders'. Hitler was the head of the government, after all… Bullshit. I think most of them enjoyed being in control of other people's lives, future… Everything." Nico replied stopping right beside the blonde, who kept on going through those last words in his head.
"… The head of…!" His eyes widened in realization as those last words connected with some events and a conversation he had had recently. With Patriot. He suddenly felt weak in his knees and fell to the ground.
"H-Hey! You alright?"
"… How could I…" What he had just realized then connected from what he knew of his own home, those lessons he heard but had not actually listened to. He really, really had to give the cuckoos a gift once he went back. "I was… How could I compare…" Now I see… Now I see!
--
As understanding and knowledge downed on Naruto, back in New York, preparations were being made. Preparations for some kind of final battle, it seemed. One of these preparations included the reprogramming of the Thor cyborg, but since it was partly organic, that meant a traditional surgery.
"Reed, it's Tony. How's the second Thor cyborg's programming coming along? Have you found out what the problem was?"
"Mm. A little late for Bill Foster, but the blocker in his head should stop him killing anyone when we go for the big push." Reed said, installing said blocker right under the artificial cerebellum of the cyborg, currently in the open of an aseptic room. It had been one hell of a work, making another in so little time. "What's the situation on the ground? I've been in surgery thirty-six hours straight."
--
"Just like you predicted on your probability map: crime figures haven't been this good since Eisenhower was in office." The data and his inner scanner confirmed it as he stared at the streets below with his scanner. "Can you imagine how boring it's going to be once the new heroes are up and running too?"
"Boring's good, Tony. Boring means little kids aren't getting buildings pushed on top of them." Tony shook his head, chuckling sadly.
"How did your call with the president go?"
"I just read him the riot act and told him I wouldn't play a part in our big finale unless I had an absolute guarantee that Sue and Johnny wouldn't face arrest."
"What did he say?"
"He said he'd give us twelve immunities, but everyone else would be open to prosecution."
"Leave the rest to me. I'm seeing him for dinner anyway." One side prepared pardons.
--
"Punisher to Captain America. Just passed level thirty-eight and none of their alarms have registered. Only two more stories and we're in, Cap." The other one gathered information on how to free their captured friends, to even out the scores again.
"Careful, Castle. You even brush against one of those things and the whole system attacks you as an invading organism." The 'things' cap was referring to were strange azure globes floating inside the vent tunnel Frank Caste alias the Punisher was climbing inside Baxter Building. "Sue says Reed based their security on the human immune system, this month."
"Relax. Nothing can read me while I'm wearing the dampers. I'm invisible to all cameras and trip-beams."
"Where the hell did you lay your hands on this kind of hardware, anyway?" Frank smirked.
"Let's just say Tony Stark's warehouse manager should invest in bigger locks."
--
"You talk like it matters, Susan. Power struggles on your little mound are as meaningless to me as the tides are to you." And trying to gather other allies, but Susan Storm was met with little success, it seemed. "The death of my cousin Namorita was all that mattered in this debacle, and her assailant has been dealt with privately."
"But Cap's one of your oldest friends. You've known him longer than anyone." Susan said, as Namor got finally up from his throne and approached the blonde superhuman.
"And where's this friend, now? Trying to make deals with the X-Men or Stephen Strange while he sends you here with your puppy-dog eyes?" Namor said with disdain. "Tell this new master of yours I have no interest in helping a man who would take advantage of our unique relationship."
"What are you talking about? We don't have a relationship." They sure had some history, though.
"I can feel your heartbeat through the water, Mrs Richards…" Namor raised a hand and gently leaned his index finger on top of the transparent mask alias a highly technological rebreather she was wearing. "And it tells a very different story from the lies upon your lips."
--
"… You've become boring."
"… Sorry." He indeed had become boring. After returning home from the museum, he had started going through the history section of the pride's library. Reading everything he could about wars and violent government overthrowing, much to Molly's dismay.
"… What was in that museum?" Since he had changed after coming out of it, it was clear that something bad was in museums. She would stay away from them forever.
"… History. And a lesson to be learned." Naruto closed down the book he was reading about the American civil war, and dispelled the clones who had finished reading the other chapters of the book. He cringed when feedback hit him. "… Just as I thought."
"You finished now?" Naruto cracked his neck but turned to Molly, smiling.
"Yes, I'm done. I finished your parents' old history section, so…" Suddenly, a loud roar resounded in the cave. "Ehm, I guess it wasn't that good of an idea to jump dinner."
"Eheheheh… Come on, let's go to the kitchen! We can have some cereals!" Molly jumped down from her chair and started dragging Naruto to the kitchen. The blonde rolled his eyes, since if she had sugar at 1 AM she probably wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. In the end he was made to sit on a chair while she rummaged through the fridge. "Damn, where's the milk?! I really hope Victor didn't finish it again… Uh?" A hand moved from behind her and caught the milk from the mess she had made of the fridge. She looked up to find a grinning Naruto.
"Ehm… Sorry."
"No sweat." Naruto sat down at the table while Molly took the bowls, the cereals and the spoons. "So… The best thing you like about being a superhero?"
"No school!" Molly immediately replied while showing cereals into her bowl, much to the blonde's eyerolling. "And you?"
"… Meh. I guess the fact that people like me…" Naruto said with a slight flush on his face, which Molly noticed.
"Girls too, right? I mean, I bet lots of girls like you." Naruto flushed again. Right from the mouth of innocence. "I knew it! And I bet you do that smoochy stuff! Grooooooss!"
"Gross? It's normal when two people like each other, you know…"
"Then you're going to smooch with Nico as well?" Naruto flinched and was a bit taken back by that.
"Nico? No way! First thing, I don't think she's ever out of PMS…"
--
"Urge… To kill blonde… Raising…"
"Go back to sleep, Nico…"
--
"Second, she already does the smooch stuff with Victor, right?" Molly blinked at that and then her face became living awe.
"How do you know?! You are like my parents?! You read minds?!"
"Nope. I just saw him getting annoyed when Nico hugged me." Naruto said with a grin, much to Molly's confusion. "It's called jealousy. It's when you don't like seeing someone you smooch with smooching with someone else."
"Ahhh… I get it…" Molly said, before stuffing cereals and milk in her mouth, eating them with loud crunches. "Well, noph weally, but I dess if o…"
"Swallow before you talk." She did.
"I mean, I guess it's one of the things I will get when I grow up… But I still think it's gross… Brrrr!" She shivered and Naruto chuckled.
"Whatever you say, Molly. Whatever you say." Naruto said, tilting his head back and looking at the ceiling, and then something came to him. Maybe he could ask her. "Hey, Molly…"
"Hmm?" She swallowed before talking, this time.
"You see… I have a problem. I have a group of friends that are doing something stupid, but even if they tell them, they won't listen to me. What should I do?" Molly narrowed her eyes.
"Hmm… This happens to us a lot… Well…" Molly scratched the back of her head, thinking about what Nico usually did when that happened. "Usually… Nico makes us listen to her. She forces us, if she needs to."
"… That's what I thought." In Naruto's head, a plan started to take shape. A plan to turn over the whole situation, but he would need help. He needed to plan, and to do that… He needed information.
--
"Aww… You're already going?"
"Yeah… And I really must thank you, guys." Naruto hoisted his sack over his right shoulder while talking to the group. "If it hadn't been for you… Especially you, Victor… I think it would have taken me ages to understand just what was wrong with this whole situation."
"Well… You're welcome?" Victor said, quite unsure of just what he could have done of decisive to clear Naruto's mind. The blonde knew it was time to say hi. He hugged Karolina and Xavin first, the latter was in his girl form.
"You're a nice couple, even if you would be the joy of all perverts to look at. Try to be happy, hn?" He noticed how Xavin's hug had strengthened somewhat while Karolina just chuckled, but he let it go. He then bumped fist with both Chase and Victor and then kneeled down in front of Molly, who was still pouting. "No hug?"
"You're mean. First you become boring, then you go away… Meanie." Naruto sweatdropped.
"Aw, come on… Alright. Then, what about this: you can ask me one thing and I will do it." Molly's ears twitched at those words.
"… Anything?"
"Anything." Naruto said. Too bad he never learned to never say that thing to anyone. Molly grinned and whispered something in his right ear. Naruto paled and his eyes went as wide as teacups. "M-MOLLY!"
"Promise me! Or I'll never talk to you again! You will be like Candle Jack, and no one will ever be able to call you by name again without going away!" Naruto palmed his face, already regretting what he had said.
"Alright… I promise."
"Yahi!" Molly latched her arms around Naruto's neck, much to his dismay, and then let go of him with a bright smile on her face. Naruto groaned and then turned to Nico.
"Damn her… Scary smart, even if she doesn't look like it." He said, putting a hand on her right shoulder. "Keep an eye on her, will you?"
"We always do, but I think it's the others who've got to worry." Nico shook her head. "So… Where to?"
"Xavier's School for Higher Learning. Ah, also, Nico…" Naruto suddenly leaned his face in and whispered something to Nico's ear. The girl raised an eyebrow, but just nodded when he put his face back in her line of sight. "Thanks." He then hugged her and released her to make her work her magic. "See you soon, guys." He stepped through the black and purple wormhole that had appeared in midair, and just like that, he was gone.
"Aaaaaaaand… There he goes." Chase commented, before turning to Molly. "Molly, just what the hell did you ask of him? He looked about ready to faint."
"Eheheheh… I won't tell you."
--
"Welcome…"
"Back…"
"Militia."
"Seriously, this fact that you split the sentences between the three of you is creepy. It's like Huey, Louie and Dewey mixed with Shining… AH!AH!AH! STOP FILLING MY HEADS WITH GRATUITUOUS MALE NUDITY! STOP!" The three girls just shrugged and released him from the psychically induced torture. "Damn, I knew that Logan was hairy, but this hairy?" He mumbles from the floor.
"The school got a call from Stark Tower." He winced, hearing that.
"They told us that you… Ran away."
"Why did you come here?"
"… Oh, come on. You already know." The cuckoos didn't reply. They just kept on staring at him, cue the boy sighing heavily. "Alright, alright… I need a favour of you. This time… It's something big." Naruto holds out a piece of paper to the nearest blonde, who takes it in her hand and observes it closely. "I need you to check these people for… Their plans for the next two weeks."
"… And find the information you seek."
"But… Why should we help you?"
"Give us a good reason."
"… Because I'm begging you." Naruto gets on his knees and puts his hands and forehead on the ground, bowing to the three identical blonde girls in front of him, whose eyebrows raise as to show slight surprise. "I have nothing to offer you, right now, even if you helped me once already… So I can just beg you and assure you that I will repay your gentleness in the future… Once this is all over."
"… It is suitable." The cuckoos got up from their seats and started walking to the door.
"We will have to use Cerebra to do it without them noticing."
"While you wait, please try to hide…" A puff of smoke later, and Naruto had become a carpet. "… Yes. That will do." The three blonde girls closed the door behind them, leaving a carpet Naruto on the floor who mouthed a silent 'Thank you' with… Well, I don't really know.
--
"… This is exactly what I needed and more." Naruto said as he went through the information the cuckoos had downloaded directly into his brain. Along with the information he had asked for, he was now currently going through hypothesis and possible accidents of chance that the girls had calculated based on what they saw. "… Thanks. This is exactly what I needed… Now…"
"We can help you with your plan, if you want." Naruto blinked at that, and he could swear one of the triplets had displayed a small evil smile.
"Don't be surprised. When no one can notice you doing so, peering inside people's head becomes an habit."
"We and miss Frost mostly do it for safe keepings, but… It's probably the only source of amusement we have left. And consider that technically we can't even feel amusement anymore."
"… So… You can help me. What do you suggest?"
"We suggest that we sit down and lay out a plan so that we miss nothing, that we leave nothing to the sort." Naruto suddenly blinked, as the girls were now talking simultaneously, much to his sweating. "A plan so grand that they will be forced to do nothing but listen to the voice of reason. Your reason." They had started walking towards him, and he fell on his butt, a bit shaken. The three girls got on their knees and hands and slowly crawled up to him. "A plan that will make you the decisive piece of the chessboard in this crazy war."
"… Alright. But can you please stop scaring me?" He squeaked, covering his head with his hands, and he saw that evil smirk again. No longer able to feel emotions his ass. They were enjoying it. "… Where do we start?"
"Your basic idea is sound, but we need to work on the how and how to maximize the thing. You'll need help from a few people… All of which you're acquainted with, fortunately." Naruto blinked, and then his eyes widened at what he was 'seeing'. "You'll need to contact them, of course. We will help you with that too. But for now, you need to get out of the school before someone notices you're back."
"… You're right." Naruto said, and then realized that he couldn't use his teleporter, since someone was probably surveying X-Factor's headquarters. For once, he would have to use traditional ways of travelling. He had enough money with him, thanks to Tony's 'allowance'. He never thanked him for that, by the way. "… Can you teach me how to ride a motorcycle?"
--
"Honey…"
"What?"
"Your motorcycle." Scott Summers almost crushed the cup in his hands. No one touched his motorcycle and survived… Well, except for Logan.
--
"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!" It helped the fact that Naruto had managed to sneak out a secret tunnel of the mansion along with the motorcycle thanks to the Cuckoos' help, and he had just discovered the joys of riding a motorcycle. "Damn, this is cool! I could this fore… OW!OUCH!AW!" Tree branches on the road permitting. Good thing Cyclops' motorcycle is sturdy.
--
"Yes. I have already a guest in mind for next week's episode." Being a talk-show's host was hard work. Not as hard as, say, defeating Onslaught or Doctor Doom, but still hard work. You had to deal with a lot of people, varying from guests to producers to authors. God, how she hated the authors they had stuck her with. Good thing she was perfectly able to improvise. "Yes, I will let you know the details as soon as possible. Goodnight." She sighed and closed the call, putting back the cordless phone on its base. In reality, she had no idea who to call for to attend to her show. Most of her pro-reg friends were too busy, it seemed. "… I need to think carefully about this…"
"May I present you with an option, Janet?" She got startled. Not because she hadn't experienced someone talking in her mind before. Hardly. It was the voice. It was rather unfamiliar to her, having heard it up close just for a few hours. It took her a little while to regain her bearings and recognize it.
Militia? Is it you?
"Yes, it's me." Strangely, she could feel him nodding on the other end of the… Thinking. "Sorry if I startled you."
Where have you been? Tony has been searching for you. He was really worried…
--
"… I'm sorry." The other people in the gas station's restaurant stared at him as he suddenly said sorry to no one, since he was sitting alone. He cleared his thoughts and coughed in his hand. I'm sorry to have worried him, but… I just couldn't trust him anymore. He's in this too deep to get out of it.
--
What do you mean? Have you…
"I haven't joined Cap's side. I'm on my own. I still think that the registration is necessary, but… There are just too many shadows in how it is now, and I've made a few errors of judgment. Big errors."
"… So why did you contact me?" The woman said, sitting in her armchair and staring at the outside city through her glass walls.
"… Talking to Tony about it will do nothing. Talking to Cap will do nothing. But I've go to try to at least talk to the people who watch us, who want this." Janet instinctively nodded, understand where the blonde was going with this.
So… You want to take me up on that offer to be a guest in my talk show?
"Yes. Like I said, I want a chance to talk, to be heard… I need to explain myself and tell people what errors of judgment I made. What it must be done if we want the registration to be done right."
Janet listened to him and then smiled. He had matured so much in the arc of a few days. She was actually looking forward to his eighteenth birthday, now. I have a vacant spot for next week. You're saving me.
"I'm happy to hear that we will be able to help each other… Let's just hope that we will be able to help other people as well. Now… I must go."
"Wait. How can I contact you?"
"I will. Think you soon, Janet." And with that, the voice had disappeared from her head, leaving a smiling and pretty curious avenger sitting alone in her apartment. "You're certain a never-ending source of amusement, Naruto…"
--
"… First phase, completed." Naruto said with a sigh. He was about to mentally thank the girls only to find out that they were gone already. You can never be too cautious, I guess… Now, the next part. I need to get to Dallas.
--
"… So, the tides of time spur and change." Stephen strange said, observing through the 'astral fire' in front of him the musings and thoughts of a young hero in the making.
"Indeed. This boy is peculiar. You humans are most peculiar as a race, but among you… He 'takes the cake'."
"… Well, he's not exactly human, Uatu. His races and the mutants have shared origins. An experiment of the celestials… So, we could call him a subspecies, maybe." Stephen said with a small smile coming to his lips. "No matter the race or the planet he comes from, the boy is indeed a wonder. His actions, his decisions… I wonder if he will ever realize how much they can affect the world because of his ability to influence others."
"I guess it is something that he took from his father." At that declaration, Stephen's eyes widened and his concentration almost broke. "I've always taken an interest in your race, Stephen, and imagine my wonder when looking in the records of my race I found that on another planet of our galaxy an almost identical race dwelled…" Stephen's eyes returned to a normal size as he got his focus back, but he kept on listening to Uatu with much attention. "On a night, I was witness to a great battle, a great passing… And a birth, that I could feel was going to influence his world for ages to come. Imagine my surprise, finding him here, in the midst of another turmoil of fate."
"… Uatu…" Stephen said, a thought surfacing in his mind. "What do you know about the boy's family?"
--
"And another day of work has gone by." Forge said, removing his bandanna and his apron before slumping into a nearby chair while a servbot brought him a cup of tea. It had taken weeks, but he had finally managed to bring Eagle Plaza to its former glory. Nothing like being able to build fully functioning versatile cyborg to help you rebuild your home and your lab. Now he could start working on recreating lost research, and starting working on the next projects that came to his mind each and every time he thought of a simple concept. "Hmm… Maybe I will begin working on the Blue Nimrod again."
"If possible, I would like to ask you to put that project on hold, mister Forge." Forge almost jumped out of his skin and effectively got up from his seat in a flash, taking a hold of a weapon he had manufactured and pointing it at the source of the new voice. "W-Woah! It's me! Don't you remember?! We were buried under concrete together!"
"… You…" Forge had seen the boy just twice. By chance, at a funeral, and then when his home had gotten assaulted by a killing robot from the future. The adult mutant slowly lowered his weapon. "You're… Militia, right?"
"Pheew! Good thing you remembered! I knew that in Texas they were pretty relaxed with gun control, but corpses are another thing, right?" Naruto joked, as Forge raised an eyebrow in amusement.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, curious as to why the young boy had sneaked around inside his newly rebuilt home.
"Well… I need your help, actually, mister Forge." Naruto put his right hand behind his neck, on the usual spot. "You see… I need to end this war. The Civil War, I mean." Forge crossed his arms over his chest, listening to Naruto's words. "I already know how, but I need help. Someone told me… That you are able to build everything you think of. Is that true?"
"Yes. It's more… Complicated than that, but that's the gist of my mutant power." Forge said, already understanding why he had come to him. "So, you need me to build you something?"
"Nothing harmful. I don't need a weapon… But it's still something big." Naruto picked out of his pocket the piece of paper with the notes the Cuckoos had made him write, regarding the specifics of the object he needed. "Here."
"… What's this?" Forge took the piece of paper and started reading. At each line he read, his eyes widened more, and more, and more, till he was left with his mouth agape. "You…" He stared alternatively at Naruto then back at the paper then back at Naruto. "What do you need this for?"
"… To end this war." Naruto said. Forge shook his head and then placed both his hands on his shoulders.
"Boy… I can only think of one use for something like this, and… I mean, if you really want to do what I think of, alone… This is madness!" Naruto lowered his head and stared at the ground.
"I know. It's a completely idiot plan. Very risky, high probability for backfiring…" Naruto said, biting his lower lip. Then he raised his head with a sharp movement, and Forge was almost burned by the fire he saw behind those eyes. "But it needs to be done. It needs to be at least tried. I need to at least try… Or things will end badly in the long run, whichever side may win."
"… Boy, you…" Forge stared, trying to find a spot, a crack, something that he could exploit to make him waver and desist, but found nothing… Just like Noriko when they had found themselves facing Nimrod. "… Are you really sure about this?"
"I am. Please, do not mention this to anyone… Well, I got an insurance on that, actually, but I still would like you to not do so." Naruto said, smiling sadly and shaking his head. "No matter. The point is, can you build it?"
"… Yes, I can." Naruto grinned. Step two of the plan was complete.
Continue…
In the next chapter…
The final act of the Civil War is en route. The two sides meet in their planned final battle, but the course of it, its outcome will be changed along with the destiny of the superhuman community by Naruto's last stand. What's his plan? Will it succeed? Stay tuned for the last, extra-long, action-packed chapter of No Reading!
Christmas Special: No Christmas
"Christmas? What's Christmas?" It's been years since part 3, but this is still the best description to describe a room full of frozen people. It was like someone had shouted Za Warudo, with the way every single student at the Xavier's had froze and stopped everything they were doing, mostly were discussing what to do for Christmas, hence Naruto asking about the event known as Christmas.
"… Oh my god, you're serious." The first to break out of the shock induced silence was Julian. "You really don't know what Christmas is?!"
"… No, I don't. We don't have Christmas back in my world…" Naruto said, shrugging his shoulders. "Is it such a big deal?"
"Such a big deal?!" The outraged one was Surge. "Of course, it is! Darn, I knew this new 'work' of yours was a bad idea! You…"
"Shhhh! Idiot! That would be a spoiler, since in the actual story is still Civil War and as such, summer!" Cessily admonished the blue haired mutant, to which she replied with a blink.
"Ah… Right, right." She cleared her throat. "The point is, we can't have you not knowing what Christmas is!"
"… Why?"
"Because…" Surge thought about it, and came up with nothing. "Because I said so! Alright?! I'm the leader, here!"
"Technically, you're not my leader anymore. So…"
"Don't make me pheromone you, Naruto." The blonde flinched at Laurie's tone. "On this, she's right."
"On this?!"
"… Alright, I surrender. So what?" Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest, and immediately regretted not putting up more of a fight, since Cessily's grin was carnivorous, and bode not well.
"First thing, theory. Christmas means…"
--
"I got that Christmas means presents, but… This is ridiculous! And shouldn't I get a saying in what I buy, since it's my presents to you?!" Naruto's clone said from under the weight of lots and lots of packages, much to Cessily's chuckling.
"Ah, come on. It's not like you can't afford them, with your actual income." Naruto, the real one, rolled his eyes at Cessily's logic.
"I know, but…" Naruto sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm trying to save up." Cessily blinked.
"You're saving up? If I got all that money monthly, I couldn't wait to spend it." Naruto scratched the side of his nose. "And what would you want to buy, that it costs that much?"
"Well… I can't tell you yet, sorry."
"Hmm… Alright, alright. Well, the next part of the quick Christmas course is…"
--
"Eggnog?"
"We will go over Christmas food directly on Christmas eve. Be careful with these decorations, for now." Laurie admonished Naruto as the two hanged a banner over an inner doorway. "… By the way, who was put in charge of the mistletoe?"
"Uh? Laura. Why?"
"… I should have known." By the fact that there was basically a mistletoe for every single square meter of the school. "Well, whatever. I guess this will be a Christmas with lots of smooching. Then…" Suddenly, some knocks on the door. "Will someone please…"
"Already on the job." Laurie rolled her eyes. Being able to make doubles was really, really useful, it seemed. Naruto went to open the door and the copy immediately disappeared because of the strength of a flying glomp. The real Naruto cringed at the feeling of his ribs cracking under the pressure, while the culprit pouted.
"It's not fair, Naruto! Get down here!"
"Let me think about that… No." Naruto said, while Molly pouted from her sitting position on the floor, and then with incredible speed grabbed the ladder he was on and began to shake it. "H-HEYYYYYYY! STOP IT!"
"GET DOWN! I WANT TO HUG YOU!"
"Molly, stop it!" Nico rushed in and tried to calm down the hyperactive twelve years old while the rest of the group walked in, followed by a laughing Layla.
"Ah, Layla!" Cessily was the one to greet personally the blonde, much to her smiling. "How are you doing? We haven't seen you ever since the whole messiah thing."
"I've been doing fine. Just ask Naruto." That made the redhead blink, and Layla let a small 'Whoops' escape her lips as the silver skinned mutant turned to Naruto, who was hanging to a Christmas tree for dear life.
"Narutoooooooooooooooo…" He blinked and then began to sweat at Cess's homicidal look. "What does she mean with 'just ask Naruto'?"
"… Ehm… I may have… Visited her a little more often than you guys?" The 'snikt' didn't bode well. "O-Oh, come on! I have to report two times a week in New York city because of work! Can you really blame me?"
"Yes."
"… Damn… MOLLY, STOP SHAKING THE DAMN TREE!"
"But I like how it goes all tingly…" Julian facepalmed.
"Does he meet any normal people?"
--
"Ok, seriously. We're waiting for midnight in front of the chimney… Why?"
"Well, first, because it's nice to cuddle in front of a fire." Naruto was starting to feel a bit too hot, since he basically had four girls taking turns in cuddling to him and Molly as a fixed host. Seriously, he was starting to sweat.
"Yeah, right… And two?"
"Well, we have to wait for…"
"OHOHOHOHOH!" He suddenly tensed as a very familiar voice echoed in the room, coming from the chimney, along with some rubble. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
"Santa Claus…" Layla began to laugh, as they saw a leg stick out of the chimney's tunnel.
"… You know, the fire is still…"
"YEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"
"On." Naruto facepalmed as a now burning Deadpool was running around trying to put out the fire.
--
"Alright. Now that I changed in a new set of tights and put out the fire, santa is going to give you lots and lots of presents!"
"Wade, seriously, you're one of my best friends, but this is ridiculous even for your standards." Seriously, the fake beer belly, or eggnog belly to stay in theme, was so evident that it wasn't even funny, and the beard was partly burned and completely charred.
"If you don't shut up, no present for you." Naruto rolled his eyes but shut up. "Good! Now, let's see! First one on the list is… Molly!"
"Yeahh! What is it?! What is it?!" The hyperactive girl jumped from Naruto's body and onto the ground as Deadpool handed her a finely wrapped package which she opened in a flash. Her eyes widened and she beamed. "Ohhhhh! A costume!" Naruto blinked and moved his head forward and facepalmed when he noticed that Molly had gotten a Nanoha costume. Both him and Nico shuddered. "Thanks, Santa!"
"Ohohoh! Next one, next one!" Santa Deadpool directly threw the next package to Laura. "That's for you!"
"… Thanks." She slowly opened the package and from the noise of fingers brushing fabric Naruto understood that they were more clothes… And he promptly began to nosebleed at the sight of black lace and stockings. "… Intriguing."
"IN… WADE! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Oh, come on. Like you haven't already started going through scenarios." Naruto just glared while Wade started throwing around the presents of non-plot relevant characters. "Alright, next relevant present… Naruto!"
"… Just give me the damn thing. And it better not be a thong or something like that…"
"Ah. You already opened the other present?" Naruto growled but decided to just ignore Wade for the moment and focus on the present, and he was 'presented' with…
"… A collection of Ultimate Spiderman and Ultimate X-Men? And… Ultimate Power?"
"Up until they didn't suck. You gotta study them good. Especially Ultimate Power and the Ultimate Spiderman Specials." Naruto raised an eyebrow and put the presents aside.
"Now, finally… Layla! Here's your present!" Layla grabbed in mid-air the thrown envelope.
"Thanks. So, like last year, this Xmas we present you with a few Q&A. So… Let's get to it." Layla opened the envelope and started reading. "So, let's start with the more frequently asked questions. How long will this fic be? Well, this fic will end in two more chapters, marking also the end of the Civil War arc." Everyone gasped. "This fic, I said." Many people 'Ahhhhhhh'-ed in understanding.
"Next question…" This one was Laurie. "Will Naruto ever go back to his world? Damn, this has been asked so many times…"
"The answer is yes. Naruto will do go back to his world, but before that he will have to go through World War Hulk. In story, that's another Six Months. And before World War Hulk, there's going to be many arcs to go through."
"Next question: 'You put in Marvel Zombies. Are you going to put in the Ultimate Universe too?'." Cessily read again.
"More or less. Naruto will not visit those worlds, but in this story, we're going to have one character from the Marvel Zombies universe and two characters from the Ultimate Universe joining the cast."
"And finally, this has been asked more than anything else, I think." Laura read the last question on the paper. 'What about the summoning technique? Why didn't Naruto try it to send messages to home?'."
"Hey! You're right!" Naruto jumped down from the sofa and started doing handseals. "What an idiot I've been! I should have tried this long ago… Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Naruto tried his technique… But nothing happened. "… Uh?"
"This your answer. The explanation is: originally the Kuchiyose had been presented as a technique that summoned monsters from other dimensions, ala Final Fantasy, but later in the Naruto manga this has been retconned, since we've seen that the summons, at least the frogs, live in the same world as the ninjas, on a mountain range. So, since it's highly impossible to rip the fabric between dimensions without advanced technological equipment or very powerful magic, sorry: the Kuchiyose is currently useless as a ass without…"
"LAYLA! I KNOW THIS IS RATED M, BUT NOT IN THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!" Cessily covered the blonde's mouth with her hand, while Naruto slumped to the ground, a little sad.
"Ahhh, come on. Don't be down! Just think of all the ass you're gonna kick in the next few months! And how you're going to meet with your dad!"
"My dad? Wait, you mean…" Naruto blinked. "Wait a minute. To meet my dad, in the manga, I had to almost rip off the seal and…" The ninja's eyes widened. "YOU DON'T MEAN…!"
"Sorry, that's enough spoilers for this special! Now, eggnog!"
"EGGNOG!" It was more like a battlecry than a cheer, but in a few second everyone was downing eggnog, much to the Runaways' dismay. Molly high on eggnog was a sight to behold and fear. Naruto groaned, but then grinned and put on a santa-styled hat.
"Merry Xmas to everyone!"