Losing him was blue like I'd never known, missing him was dark gray all along, forgetting him was like trying to know someone you've never met, but loving him was red. – Taylor Swift

No more than two days into my solo job had I made the heartbreaking discovery that Maxon had been planning for his death all along. Maybe it was just so I wouldn't be lost in the unfortunate event of his death but he had laid everything out in all of his folders and files and books, with little notes to me of who to talk to about what and which books would be best to consult with.

He made a complete list of the advisers with mini biographies and pictures and descriptions of their jobs. Finances were organized into neat spreadsheets and columns, bills were kept in a filing cabinet in alphabetical order by the second word of the bill, provinces were also alphabetized in a filing cabinet with all of the drama of who is fighting with who and who is not radicalizing a bill up to date and kept so by a specific adviser. The only thing that he had felt to not leave anything for me was advice on the rebels and the war in New Asia.

I had saved the war to deal with last because my heart just wasn't ready to cope with that yet but with the hope that I'd have shortcuts left for me by my husband prompted me to open the folder late one night while lying in bed. The only note inside the folder said I have all the faith in the world in you and that you'll make the right call with how to handle this war. I rolled my eyes. "Real helpful." I mumbled under my breath.

The next day I was rummaging through the rest of the drawer filled with war content in his desk and came across a false bottom. Looking around to make sure no one else was in the room, including maids, I opened it and found a folder with big letters written on the front: Open when you're ready. If you have any questions, Officer Carter has the answers. I flipped it open and started reading through the papers.

Benxi, New Asia

Prince Maxon,

I'm glad to hear of your desire to overturn your father. We would be glad to help. But it will come at a cost.

Angeles, Illéa

Emperor Chein,

You think that I didn't know it would come at a cost? Allow me to name it myself: I'll hand over my life as long as you make good on the promise to rid Illéa of my father.

Benxi, New Asia

Prince Maxon,

You drive a hard bargain, Your Majesty. What about your pretty wife?

Angeles, Illéa

Emperor Chein,

America is left alone, as well as Princess Elizabeth. She is a competent ruler and she'll learn to work with all of you in due time. I will leave her with instructions to consult my partner in this and they'll strike a secret alliance with you.

Benxi, New Asia

Prince Maxon,

Secret alliances are a direct violation of the UN and NATO but then again, war is a violation of morale. I cannot wait to finally meet you in person, Prince Maxon.

Angeles, Illéa

Emperor Chein,

Of course sir. I'll see in you in a few months.

There had to hundreds of emails between Maxon and the emperor of New Asia, talking about secret deals, bargains, and alliances. None of it made any sense. When Maxon said that there was more or less a plan in place to overthrow his father, was this what he was talking about? But, his father wasn't in control anymore. Granted, he hounded me every day about letting him help me rule but he was nowhere near being king.

Shoving the chair back roughly, I made a beeline for the stables. The groomsmen looked at me with strange glances as they bowed, confused of why I was there. I never went to the stables; that was Maxon's area. I found Carter mucking out one of the last stalls in the long line of wooden cubicles.

"Carter, do you have a minute we could talk?" I asked as he bowed to me.

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Your Majesty, Carter is not my name."

I smiled. "We're not going to hurt you, Carter. Not when you have a son to take care of and certainly not when you've done nothing wrong." He opened his mouth to argue but I quickly cut him off. "You were just as surprised by Marlee being a rebel as the rest of us. That was years ago anyway. I actually need to talk to you about something concerning my husband. Something that the two of you were planning for quite some time."

He set the rake down and nodded. "We'll need to talk somewhere private."

Back in Maxon's study, I pushed the folder full of emails and letters toward him across the desk. He didn't even need to open it to know what was inside. "What would you like to know?"

"How long was he planning on dying?"

He sighed. "He wasn't planning on dying. He was just exchanging his freedom for the country's."

"Excuse me?" I asked. "So you're saying he's still alive?"

He shrugged. "He told me that he was leaving his fate up to them. He could very well be alive. He could also very well be dead."

"So, if I tell you that I've been hearing someone creeping around me room at night and that I found his wedding band in bed with me one night…" my voice drifted off, my hand unknowingly reaching up to play with the ring.

"He asked me to keep an eye on you. It's been me. He gave me his ring before he left."

I took a deep breath and looked at the folder. "So, what's the plan for his father?"

"They're waiting for you to make that call. They said that they could just nuke the palace but we were quick to put that idea to rest." Carter smiled crookedly.

"Thank you." I shook my head. "Do you have any idea what his plan was for when he got into New Asia?"

"Negative, Your Majesty. That was all highly confidential."

I sat in silence for a few minutes before saying, "Thank you Carter. If I have any more questions I'll be sure to call on you. You may go back to work."

He bowed and left the room quickly. I looked over at his picture that I had moved from my study to his study where I had decided to do all of my work from. My picture was also sitting on the desk, a picture of me from when I was pregnant with Libby and someone had taken a picture of Maxon and me hugging in the garden. "Maxon, what else have you left me here to deal with?"

So that seemed like a good place to stop. Your reviews are cracking me up, by the way. Some of them are absolutely hilarious because I understand that you guys are writing what you're thinking and it just doesn't translate the same way without hearing you actually say it! Anyway, keep them coming. You guys really are motivating me. Thanks so much!

P.S. I'm not really a Taylor Swift fan but I just started listening to Red and that's what I've been listening to while I'm writing; it's such a good album!