If Carter was planning a pregnancy, she would have to quit birth control, which would also mean no 'gate traveling. She had been on missions lately, until she was shot, so in that case she couldn't be pregnant. Carter was a stickler for rules; she wouldn't have snuck around just so she could keep going through the 'gate. Then again, if her body chemistry was screwed up because of that snake, there was a good chance the birth control failed, right? Was that the reason she wanted to step down? The buzzing in his ears stopped and he heard her voice.

"Sir?"

"Carter, is that why you're stepping down?"

"In a way, I think so, Sir. I mean, I wouldn't be able to go through the 'gate if I were pregnant… of course, as I said before this is all hypothetically speaking."

"Hypothetically?" Jack coughed uncomfortably.

"Well, yes Sir. I love kids, but I'm not sure if I'm cut out to be a mom…"

"I have seen you with Cassie, you're definitely mommy-material," Jack replied, fidgeting behind his desk. All the times he had thought of their future together, there had been kids. Cute little blonde ones with big blue eyes, like Carter.

"Thank you, Sir, but I'm still not completely convinced. Besides, Pete's children are very young and this way I can practice every other weekend."

Jack heard the glum tone of her voice and he wondered what it was about… Perhaps the cop didn't want another child just yet and Carter did? Shanahan doesn't deserve her, Jack mused. It could also be because she wanted to see those kids more often than every other weekend. Maybe she didn't want them there at all, but Jack found that hard to imagine, Carter always liked everyone. On the other hand, she was getting an entire family by marrying that detective.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Are you really sure about this? If it's because you, eh… want a family somewhere down the line, you can always step down when you're ready. You have so much potential and you're doing a great job commanding SG-1… right now, you're still on medical leave, after which you have a couple of days off," Jack purposely didn't mention why she had those days off, not wanting to think about that. "Think about it some more, you can always step down – it would be harder to get command back when you realize it was a mistake to leave."

"With all due respect, Sir–"

"Ack! Give it some more thought and time, Carter," Jack said, raising his hand to interrupt her as if she was standing in front of him. "Tell me this, Carter, what do you want?"

"Sir?"

"Do you want to quit SG-1?"

"I'm not sure, Sir. I can't imagine not being on the team, it's been a part of my life for the last eight years…"

"That's exactly what I mean, Carter."

"Yet it's different now."

Bracing himself, Jack asked a question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer of. "Now that you're with Shanahan?"

"Um… no," doubt was evident in her voice and it was obvious she was hesitating to continue, so Jack just stayed quiet 'forcing' her to fill the silence. "Now, that I'm in command… now that you're not here, Sir."

"C'mon Carter, I left the team two years ago and I'm not even counting my cozy stasis pod-time," Jack said lighthearted, yet he meant it.

"I know that, Sir. It's just that you were still here, and now… now, you're not. Everything is changing and I'm not sure if I like those changes."

Well, he could certainly name a few changes he did not like, but it was best not to tell her that, he figured. "Landry is a good man, Carter, I'm sure if you get to know him a bit better you'll see that as well."

"I'm sure he is, Sir. After all, I doubt you would've given him the position if he wasn't… it's not just that, it's everything. The personnel keeps changing, we keep losing good people and for what? So we can rid the galaxy of the Goa'uld only for a more superior enemy to come forth?"

"No one ever said life would be easy, Carter," Jack gently commented, realizing she was frustrated. Probably from being cooped up for so long with nothing to do…

"Wouldn't that be a cliché, Sir?"

He heard her smothered laugh on the other end and he smiled. Apparently, he could still make her smile and laugh, which was a good thing, he thought. "Yeah, and you know how I feel about those…"

"Yes Sir," Sam replied as her laughter died and a silence had descended upon their conversation.

It felt so familiar and safe to be talking to him like this. She hadn't realized how much she missed his company, his lame jokes and the sound of his voice. Ever since he had left, she had felt like something was amiss and she had blamed that feeling on their awkward parting that morning, but now she wasn't so sure.

Lying there in the infirmary and opening her eyes to see him sitting there, waiting for her to wake up. Already talking to her, because he has always been the first to know when she woke. It had felt comforting, especially with the guys there. She hadn't realized Pete was really there and somehow it felt wrong… he wasn't supposed to be there, not in that part of her life. That was something that was hers and only hers, something she only shared with the guys and the General. Janet as well, before she had died… suddenly feeling emotional, she held back a sob thinking of her late friend. This comforting, familiar, and safe feeling had left that day in the battlefield, as she had watched the then-Colonel – and even left her position to get to his side – go down after a staff blast and hearing that her best friend had been killed.

A shiver ran through her and she grimaced as the pain in her side reminded her again of her wound and indirectly of Janet Fraiser, her best friend and confident. She realized she had forgotten to take her pain meds, as she and the General had been talking for quite a while.

If she were honest, she hadn't expected him to actually call her on her decision; she didn't think he wanted anything to do with her anymore. Not after the embarrassing moment on his couch, after which he didn't even give her his new addresses or phone number. Even now, that moment kept returning to her thoughts and she didn't like it. If she was going to marry Pete, she shouldn't be thinking about the General, should she?

"Carter, are you still there?"

Letting out a deep sigh, Sam realized she needed to know what he was thinking. She had turned him down during the quarantine and had doubted herself ever since. She was known for her bad judgment when it came to men, right? Did she choose the right one this time? Pete was nice, caring, kind, charming, funny, and loved her, she was really fond of him. However, her feelings for the General and Pete were completely different from each other. Then again, what could the man on the other end of the line give her? Nothing at this moment and he might never be able to. The only way was for him to resign, which he still hadn't, yet that day he had claimed that he wanted to be with her someday. Sounds like the story of my life, she thought angrily. "Sir?"

"Carter?"

She smiled for a moment, it reminded her of the friendly banter he and Daniel were always engaged in – well, they used to, when they were both living in this state. "I'm not sure."

"About?" He drawled out the word.

"This," she hesitantly stated, waving her hand around even if he couldn't see it.

"And 'this' might be…?"

How was she supposed to bring this up into their conversation? Looking around her, she only got more frustrated as she saw the new furniture in a house that didn't feel like her home. She and Pete were supposed to make this their home, but she wasn't feeling it yet. Of course, they hadn't even been living here for a week, but still, they had bought all the furniture and stuff weeks ago. Now that she was actually living here, it felt strange. To top it all, she couldn't even walk around or paint something because of those damn stitches in her side.

"What are you talking about, Carter? Your decision to step down as team commander?"

She immediately recognized his cautious tone and could hear the hesitancy in his words. The General wasn't as stupid as he liked to pretend…

"Everything, Sir… the command, the USAF, you, me, this house, Pete, a dog…" Her voice trailed off as she was summing up all kinds of uncertainties in her life.

His heart stopped for a minute or two, or so he thought, listening to her voice rattle off. If he hadn't been in tip top shape, he was sure his heart would fail him now. Carter was talking about what he thought she was talking about and his hopes lifted a bit. However, they came crashing down as he heard her mention kids… Had she not just been talking about having children with that cop, almost killing him and ripping his heart out at the same moment? His complexion had only just returned from the shock of thinking she was pregnant and she had sounded serious about it. What was she playing at?

"What are you saying, Carter?"

"That's just it, Sir. I don't know…"

Trying to calm himself down, he came to a conclusion. "So… you're having cold feet?"

"What? No, Sir, it's not like that!"

"Then what is it like, Carter? Because you're getting married in three weeks in case you've forgotten," he sneered, not liking the way she was toying with his feelings. Had she always been like this?

"Of course I haven't forgotten, Sir," she spat out his honorific. "I've just been doubting my decisions, my feelings, my actions and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Why ask me?"

"The truth… the truth is I've been having second thoughts about the wedding."

"Why?" Jack asked in a cautious manner, trying not to let his surprise at her actually admitting that – to him of all people – shine through.

"See, the thing is, the closer it gets, the more I get the feeling I'm making a big, huge mistake…"

Jack fidgeted in his chair, not ready for her to confess. "Look Carter, I don't know what…"

"Sir, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but uh, see, there's actually a very good reason that I'm bothering you with this, and if I don't tell you now, I might never…"

"Carter," Jack said through gritted teeth. "I don't think this is a conversation we should be having."

He could hear her swallow, obviously embarrassed about her nervous admission.

"At least, not now. Not over the phone," he tried, gentler this time. God help him if she was thinking about changing her mind, because he didn't know how much more of this tension he could take before it'd kill him…

"I guess you're right, Sir," relief clearly sounding through her voice.

"You just make damn sure you know what you want, Carter," he said while rubbing his hand over his face. "I have to go, I'm already late for a meeting with the Joint Chiefs and the President," he put down the receiver after hearing her say goodbye and straightened his jacket before walking towards the meeting, wondering if they would buy his excuse for being late.