"So you forgive Toni now?" Fangs asks, soaking in the recap from last night. I'd finally gotten the boys alone after school so I could tell them what happened.
"I… I guess, yeah. I mean, I can't hate her for loving someone. Or I'm just as bad as her Uncle. And no one deserves what Cheryl went through, even a Blossom." I rub my palms into my jeans to calm myself down until Sweet Pea takes my hands and holds them.
"What about the other kids? There had to be more than just Cheryl." He asks.
"There were. At least 20. Kevin and I talked about trying to help them but Cheryl won't- Can't. She said she's not ready to talk about it or relive it. Kevin is trying to find people who have gotten out but it's not like you can just ask someone you've never met to open up about their conversion therapy.".
"I can ask around the Southside or Greendale. Even if someone knows someone who knows someone… We don't have to bring Cheryl into but Serpents don't just sit around when people are being hurt."
"No Serpent is left for dead." Sweet Pea states, practically on instinct. The school bell rings and I hold back a groan and an eye roll. Fangs smirks at me.
"Come on, Carrie. We're gonna be late for rehearsal." Fangs teases. Sweet Pea releases my hands, wrapping his arm around my shoulders instead while he walks Fangs and I to the auditorium.
"I don't know why I even have to go. I'm just working on the sets."
"Could it be, perhaps, the bet FP made that you wouldn't last more than an hour?" Sweet Pea suggests.
"What bet?" Sweets and Fangs share an amused look. "What the hell? That's not fair! Who bet on me?"
"Like, half the Wyrm. My money is on you being fine until Cheryl starts singing 'Carrie' and you go crazy." Fangs explains.
"I think you'll be just fine, babe." Sweet Pea kisses my temple.
"He's lying. He bet that you wouldn't even bother showing up tomorrow." Fangs tells me. Sweets smacks Fangs on the head and Fangs smacks him back.
"You're all horrible! Who bet that I would last the entire show?" I ask. The boys share a look again and Fangs starts giggling. No one?! Not one person thought I could do this? I hate them. I hate them all! "You're all assholes!"
Sweet Pea can't contain his laughter anymore and he cracks up with Fangs.
"Welcome to Carrie: The Musical." Kevin greets. I don't why I'm even in this stupid circle. Jughead keeps pointing his stupid camera at me and smirking. Maybe I'll go full Carrie and just kill everyone. That would be fun. I wonder if I would still get my art credit? We don't have art at Shankshaw. Fangs joins us, late, and loudly scrapes his chair between Kevin and I. "Okay, next. Introductions."
"I'm Archie, I'm playing Tommy Ross. The boy next door." Archie greets the group.
"Hi, Archie." I say automatically.
"This isn't AA." Toni whispers, nudging my knee. Well, there goes my 'Hi. I'm Carrie Collins and I've been sober for 3 days' speech.
"I'm Betty. I play Sue Snell, the good girl." Betty Cooper says.
"Veronica Lodge, playing Mean Girl, Chris Hargensen."
"I'm Cheryl Blossom." Cheryl states, taking the time to stand. "Playing the iconic role of Carrie White." She sits down just as Josie McCoy fake coughs out a 'tone deaf'.
"Who's playing your mom? Margaret White." Betty asks.
"I am." Announces a voice behind me. Alice Cooper, clad in hot pink and sunglasses, strolls onto the stage and joins our circle. As if this couldn't get any worse, we have to add a Serpent traitor into the mix. Jesus fricken christ.
"Wait, seriously?" Ethel Muggs asks Kevin, echoing everyone's thoughts.
"Settle down. It's untraditional but to me there's nothing more amateur than age-inappropriate casting." Kevin explains.
"I'm really looking forward to getting to know who this woman is, you know, get under her skin. And of course spend some quality time with my daughter, Elizabeth." Barf. A new guy walks in late and joins the group, much to the chagrin of pretty much every Northsider there.
"Uh, sorry. I thought rehearsals were in the music room." He explains.
"No problem. All are welcome here." Kevin explains. Alice Cooper and I give each other a side-eye. "Shall we continue?"
"You guys know me, I'm Chuck Clayton. I'll be playing Billie Nolan."
"I'm Josie McCoy and I am playing Miss Gardner."
"I'm Midge Klump, ensemble."
"I'm Moose Mason, also ensemble." Who the hell names their kid Moose? I hate this school.
"Ethel Muggs. I'm playing Helen."
"I'm Toni Topaz and I'm playing Norma."
"I'm Crash Collins and I'm, uh, lead set design."
"I'm Fangs Fogarty, assistant director."
"And I'm Kevin Keller, director. Let's begin! Act I, Scene I." Everyone opens their scripts. Even I have one to take notes for Archie's dad.
"Actually, before we begin…" Cheryl stands again, always being the center of attention. I mean technically, I like her now, but I don't really enjoy being near her. "I've heard whisperings that some of you ensemble vultures don't think I'm fit to play, or sing-"
"No." Josie agrees.
"The role of Carrie White." Cheryl continues, ignoring Josie. "So, to settle this matter once and for all, maestro."
"Okay, uh, Cheryl-"
Kevin tries to stop her but Cheryl breaks into song like it's High School Fucking Musical. And to make matters worse, she sings 'Carrie'. The most annoying song in all of existence. Fangs catches my eye, wearing a toothy grin, and it takes all of my self control to not beat him to death with my script. God, I need to get some earplugs or this musical will drive me insane. Must remain strong. Can't let the bastards at the Whyte Wyrm win. You can do this, Car-. No, you can do this, Crash. Cheryl finishes her song and Toni claps enthusiastically, encouraging everyone to clap for her too.
"Wow, I think I speak for everyone when I say that was undeniable, Cheryl." Kevin compliments. Cheryl starts walking back to her seat when a sandbag drops from the ceiling. She screams, narrowly avoiding being splattered on the stage. Everyone watches in stunned silence until-
"Holy shit." I mutter. Toni whirls around to glare at me and Fangs snickers. "Sorry."
"Cheryl, are you okay?" Kevin asks, standing up and leading her back to her seat. Cheryl nods silently and Toni sits next to her, fawning over the startled girl. "Well… Okay. Uh, I guess now we can start. If that's okay with you, Cheryl?" Cheryl nods, shaking herself off and putting a determined look on her face.
"I'm ready." She agrees. Toni smiles proudly and we start the first run through.
Mr. Andrews let me use a nail gun. Honestly, if it weren't so cliche, I think construction might be my calling. So far, I've learned how to make picnic tables and set up chain link fence. Mr. Andrews is actually kind of cool, way cooler than Archie. He helped me design the sets practically from scratch and taught me how to build them. Plus, he doesn't act like I'm trashy or going to teach Archie to ditch school and smoke cigarettes or whatever parents think kids like me do these days. I would never admit this out loud but this is actually kind of fun. Plus, the whirl of the drill mostly drowns out everyone singing my name constantly.
Right now, I'm supposed to be taking notes on the lighting for The World According To Chris. I don't really know anything about singing or dancing but so far, this is my favorite song. No mentions of my name, plus they do this fancy little jump thing that I find delightful. I take my usual seat, next to Jughead so I can annoy him while they practice. After Veronica finishes, Fangs stands and claps proudly.
"Okay, Veronica, I am obsessed with everything that just happened." Kevin congratulates her.
"Thank you. It's better to be off-book and in full costume." She says graciously. Betty laughs, loudly, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Oh my god, I've been waiting for this fight for weeks.
"Don't be so modest." She says. Veronica turns to Betty with a shockingly hurt look on her face. "You are the literal embodiment of Chris. Never has a role been so perfectly type-cast."
"Betty." Archie chides. Everyone in the audience shifts forward in anticipation.
"What was that, Betty?" Veronica asks, danger seeping into her voice.
"I mean, think about it." Betty explains. "Spoiled rich girl, check. Major daddy issues, check. Bad to the bone, trying to control everyone around her including her boyfriend and her best friend? Check, check, check." Holy shit. Oh my god. I have to dig my nails into my palms to stop from cracking up. I shoot Jughead an 'Oh my god are you getting this on camera?' look and he meets mine with a more concerned 'What the hell is happening?' gaze. Tears well in Veronica's eyes before Kevin steps in.
"Okay, well. Uh, how about we all take a break and meet back in five? Okay." He claps his hands together and rushes off stage to Fangs to figure out how the hell they're going to get everything back on track.
"Did you get that? That was amazing." I say, leaning towards Jughead. He shuts his camera and sighs.
"Don't you have work to do?" He asks grumpily.
"Whatever. Don't be mad because you lost the bet, Mr. Six Minutes."
Sweet Pea hops up onto my work bench, leaning back onto his elbow and watching me work on one of the set pieces.
"I feel like you're Paris Hilton and I'm Nicole Richie." I muse, whirling my drill for good measure. Sweet Pea rolls his eyes but the amused smile doesn't leave his face.
"I don't know what that means but if it means that I get to stay home all day while you work, I'm cool with it." He agrees, an almost wistful look in his eyes.
"Would that make me your sugar daddy?" I ask him. Sweet Pea's smile turns into a smirk and he quirks an eyebrow at me.
"I'm not calling you daddy but I'm down for pretty much everything else." He agrees.
"Call me daddy, Sweet Pea." I demand, posing with my drill.
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Sweet Pea, just once?"
"No."
"Guys, are you working or not?" Mr. Andrews calls from the other side of the room. Sweet Pea smirks at me and I put my drill back on the workbench.
"Definitely working, Mr. Andrews." I call back. Archie and his dad go back to their conversation and Sweet Pea takes the drill for himself. He helps me put together the piece of the set while we talk.
"I should have joined the musical or something too. There's only so much pool a man can play while his three best friends ditch him."
"We didn't ditch you." I protest. He looks up at me expectantly and I kiss him. "And you should have joined. We have nail guns. They're so loud and I love them."
"I know I shouldn't complain but I'm getting bored. Some of the other Serpents are considering starting a turf war just so we have something to do other than homework." I can't help but snort ungracefully. But hey, it's not like Sweet Pea's dating me for my lady-ness.
"That's a great idea and all but, if the Serpents need something to do they can come paint sets. It's basically just me and the guys from Andrews Construction. Half of them are Southsiders anyway." Sweet Pea shrugs, setting his tools down to focus on the conversation.
"I just want the play to be over. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you guys are having fun! But I miss hanging out all the time."
"You know, I never thought you would be the needy one." I joke. Sweet Pea rolls his eyes but laughs.
"We can take turns." He kisses me again. The door slams and in strolls Hiram Lodge. He glances at Sweet Pea and I, almost surprised, before beelining for Archie and his father. Hiram talks to them for a few minutes, leaving a pissed off Fred in his wake.
"Nice to see you again, Ms. Collins. Didn't realize you had so much… school spirit." He says before walking out the door. Sweet Pea gives me a questioning look and I shrug. Who knows what the hell Hiram means? Like, ever. He's just weird. Mr. Andrews tosses his drill away and storms to the door.
"Can you close up, Crash?" He asks.
"Sure." I answer. He leaves and Archie rushes after him.
"We've got spirit, yes we do." Sweet Pea teases. "We've also got the room to ourselves…"
"And homes. Ya know, with beds." I point out.
"Beds?"
"Beds." Sweet Pea takes me hand and drags me out the door. Pausing just long enough for me to lock up behind us.
So, Carrie White's mom is crazy and evil. I could get behind that. Most moms are crazy and evil, especially ones who name their daughter Carrie. What I can't get behind, is Alice Cooper's loving and almost desperate look in her eyes everytime she looks at her daughters. It gives me the creeps and makes me want to scream at the same time. And it's not like I can't handle it. I'm tough. I'm cool. I'm controlled. I just hate moms. I hate my mom. I hate Alice Cooper.
I should be working on rigging a bucket of faux pig blood to spill on Midge Klump's, the new Carrie White, head but no. Apparently I need to approve the sets for every scene, even the ones with Carrie's mom that I was previously ignoring. Damn you, Kevin Keller.
Alice sings her tearful rendition of 'Stay Here Instead'. Making seriously weird eye contact with her daughter, rather than Midge. She ends the song, kneeling on the stage and reaching out to Betty.
"Don't leave me, Betty." She begs. "Don't leave me like all the others." She stands and rushes off stage. Betty runs after her, leaving a stunned and awkward audience. I can't stand this shit. Since when do moms even care about their children? Fuck it. I need a fucking break. I feel like I'm going to puke.
I leave the auditorium quickly, making my way into the girls bathroom and finding an empty stall. My knees crack against the linoleum and I press my elbows into the seat. I make that awful cough/gagging noise and dry heave a few times before slumping against the stall wall.
Maybe I'm pregnant? No. I'm just having a panic attack. Jesus, kid, get it together. I don't even remember the last time I saw my mom. Before Christmas? Why do I even care? She hasn't been around for years. The only family I have are my friends are the Serpents. And that's a-o-fucking-kay by me! Oh god, I'm gonna puke again. The bathroom door squeaks open and a pair of shoes click against the floor, stopping outside my stall.
"Crash?"
"Go away."
"Are you okay? Are you sick?"
"For god's sake, fuck off, Midge." Midge Klump hesitates outside my stall.
"I just… saw you run out and-"
"I didn't run." I cut her off. "I just… walked quickly."
"Well, I saw you walk quickly out and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine. You can fuck off now." She clears her throat awkwardly.
"I actually had to pee. Is that okay?" Why is she so fucking polite? Let me suffer in peace!
"Whatever. Fine." I flush, even though I never got anything out, and leave my stall. Midge is still hovering outside. She looks me over twice before ducking into a stall. I wash my hands and lean against the sink, taking a good hard look at myself in the mirror. Dirt brown hair, check. Too small eyes, check. Not a hint of my white-trash Barbie mother? In the words of Betty Cooper, check, check, check. Midge flushes and I leave the room before I have to see her again. I need to hammer something.
The whole school was buzzing with energy. Even I'm kind of excited and I don't feel things like pride in my work or school spirit! Or guilt, for that matter. But here I am, fists clenched, nails to palms, knocking on Midge Klump's private dressing room door. She opens it, clad in her robe and halfway done lip liner.
"Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you, Crash."
"Yeah, well… I wouldn't have been if I were you either." Midge gives me a weird look and I can't help but crack a small smile. "That didn't really make sense did it."
"I think I got the gist of it." She jokes, sitting back at the mirror to finish her makeup. "Did Kevin send you to tell me I only have 20 minutes and 30 seconds left?"
"No, actually, I sent me. I uh… wanted to apologize for being a dick the other day. Turns out you're actually pretty cool and nice. I guess I'm not used to that."
"Your friends aren't nice?"
"Friends, yes. Random girls who follow me into the bathroom, generally no." Midge glances up at me through the mirror and smiles gently.
"Did your mom come tonight?"
"I don't think my mom even knows that I go to Riverdale High. The only time we talk is when- well, never. But I shouldn't be telling you about all this before you big night."
"It's no problem. I know we don't know each other that well but you can talk to me." She sets down her makeup and turns to face me. "Do you want a hug?"
"God, no." Midge laughs at that and I take it as my cue to leave. "Break a leg, Klump."
"Thanks." I step out the door barely avoiding Fangs who lets himself in behind me.
I make my way through the auditorium, greeting Mr. Andrews on the way to my seat. Honestly, if I'd known a month ago that I would be sitting between Sweet Pea and Cheryl Blossom, I'd have dropped out. But whatever. Do it for Toni, Crash. Once I take my seat, Sweet Pea immediately throws an arm around my shoulders and leans down to whisper in my ear.
"I didn't bring you flowers."
"Thank you."
"But I'm pretty sure Fred Andrews has a hard hat with your name on it waiting back at the trailer."
"Can you believe I joined a school club and actually learned something?" I joke.
"Well, you learned that you like hitting things with hammers. So yeah, I can believe it." He gives me a quick kiss just as the lights dim.
So the lights dim, the curtains open, and the musical goes perfectly. Until… well, this is Riverdale High after all. And it's your cue, Midge… And the spotlight shifts and Midge. And the knives… and the blood… and someone is screaming. They won't stop screaming. And I think I see Jason Blossom and could you please stop fucking screaming? And-
.
.
.
.
.
And then you wake up in Sweet Pea's bed with four sets of eyes on you and a killer headache.
And you're covered in blood.
No. You're clean but-
"Crash? Are you awake?" Sweet Pea scoots closer to me, picking up my head gently and resting it on his thigh. I groan quietly in response and the four of them relax slightly.
"You passed out." Fangs explains, also taking a seat on the bed.
"Nearly smacked your head on the seat in front of you." Sweet Pea adds. Toni and Cheryl just stare, Cheryl's a little more vacant than her girlfriend's.
"So, that was all real?" I ask, throat gravelly even though it's barely been an hour.
"Yeah." Sweet Pea answers.
"And Midge is…"
"Yeah."
"I'm gonna puke." He expertly hoists me out of the bed and helps me into the cramped bathroom, closing the door tightly behind us. I kneel in front of the toilet in a way that's starting to feel familiar while Sweet Pea sits behind me on the edge of his tub. He waits silently while I dry heave into his toilet, fidgeting with his hands. I finish and slide back to lean against the tub, resting my head on Sweet Pea's knee. His hand sinks into my hair.
"Are you okay?" I ask. My voice is a whisper, put into a blender with a handful of rocks. Sweet Pea lets out a rough laugh.
"I think I should be asking you that." He replies. I look up at him. He's tall enough to be staring at himself in the mirror until he feels my gaze and looks down at me. "Are you? Okay?"
"Yeah… no? Yes." The corner of his mouth tugs into a smile before settling back into a frown. "I liked Midge but… I think maybe it's just-"
When I don't finish my though, Sweet Pea stands. He pulls me up with him, face to face, and brushes through my hair with his hands again.
"Everything?" He asks. I nod.
"Pretty much." He nods too.
"Well, I'm here." He offers.
"I know. And if I thought for a second that I could… explain what the hell is happening in my head, I would." I tell him. He nods again. The affection in his eyes is comforting instead of smothering. I take a deep breath and let it out and Sweet Pea opens the door and leads me back into the bedroom. Fangs hasn't moved off the bed but Toni has her keys in one hand and Cheryl wrapped around her other.
"You good?" Toni asks, more concerned than it sounds. I nod and she nods back. Sweet Pea sits at the head of the bed, letting Fangs crawl up and rest his head on his lap where mine was before. Toni steps forward to hug me with the arm Cheryl isn't holding and I hug her back.
"Call me if you need anything. Or… y'know, Cheryl." I whisper.
"I will. You too." She whispers. She steps back. "I'm gonna take Cheryl home." The boys nod in acknowledgement.
I follow Toni and Cheryl to the door, locking it behind them and making my way back to the bedroom. Fangs scoots to the edge of the bed, pulling Sweet Pea into the middle and leaving just enough room for me on Pea's other side.
People obviously weren't expecting a group of Serpents to show up to Midge's funeral. Her mother is glaring at us from across the grave. We aren't as unwelcome as Sheriff Keller though. The sheriff hasn't stopped staring since we arrived. Fangs hasn't noticed, but the rest of us have.
I've been having a recurring dream. Nightmare, really. Joaquin calls me to tell me that Mustang is dead. I go to the hotel and Sheriff Keller is there. I go to the bathroom. Mustang is dead in the tub. But this time, it's overflowing with water from Sweetwater River. Sheriff Keller grabs me by the neck like a kitten and drowns me until I wake up. How's that for an omen?