Charlaine Harris owns all rights to characters not me. I'm just playing with them.

Chapter 25

SPOV

I could feel myself regaining consciousness and I was thrashing around but it was a couple minutes before I could do anything about it. It was like my mind and body weren't connected. I felt a wave of calm fill me so I used that and I turned my focus on the calm. It made me feel secure. I could still feel panic at the edges of my mind but I ignored it. I opened my eyes and looked up into Eric's blue eyes. My head was in Eric's lap and he was stroking my hair gently and watching me carefully. I closed my eyes again and let myself enjoy the feeling of his fingers running through my hair.

"Sookie, my love, how are you feeling?" he asked me gently.

"I'm fine, Eric," I whispered. I had wanted to be there, to see him tortured and killed. I should have known I couldn't handle it, but I couldn't. I didn't want to think about it. I opened my eyes again since it was easier to be in the present. I was an emotional wreck and I knew I needed to take it easy.

I licked my lips, trying to moisten my chapped lips. Eric reached over and picked up a glass of ice water he had ready for me. I smiled at the gesture. He helped me sit up a little and I look a few small sips of the cool liquid. I smiled at him and handed the glass back to him.

"Can I get anything else for you, lover?" he asked.

I wracked my brain for something that would make me feel better, something to drown my sorrows in. I finally thought of something. "Ice cream," I said quietly. I think it's a woman thing. I just wanted to eat ice cream, wrapped up in the arms of my lover and watch a mind-numbing movie.

Eric got up, put my head on a pillow to replace his lap and started toward the kitchen. He paused at the edge of the room, paused and turned back to me. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he had the chance to ask, I specified, "Chocolate." He smiled and left the room.

I took the throw that was hanging over the back of the couch and wrapped it around myself. I started shaking and I felt like I was about to loose it, but Eric opened his end of the bond to me. I focused on his strength and his calm. He came back with a bowl of sinful looking chocolate ice cream with brownie chunks and swirls of hot fudge. It was exactly what I needed.

"Can we just sit here together and watch a movie?" I asked in a small voice.

"Of course, dear one. What would you like to watch?" Eric asked, walking over to the selection of movies on the shelf.

"I don't care. Anything would be fine," I responded.

While Eric got the movie started he said, "Alcide called before you awoke to invite you to go for an early dinner with some of your friends tomorrow. He said that he could pick you up at 3:00 tomorrow. Would you like to go?"

Eric continued when I paused too long. "I think it would be a good idea, lover. You could use some normalcy with friends."

"That would be nice," I responded. It did sound like fun to spend some quality time with friends, but I was nervous to go out.

"You'll be with Weres and shifters and even a couple witches, so you will be well protected."

"Don't you think it's kind of sad that I have to think about my security and who will protect me before I leave the house?" I asked wryly. It was really more of a rhetorical question but Eric still answered me

"Yes. I do," Eric said with a note of sadness in his voice.

"What time?" I asked.

"He'll be here at 3:00," Eric said with a satisfied smile. I couldn't argue. He was just glad I had agreed to leave the house.

"Eric, I was also thinking that I could work tomorrow night. I've only worked once since we made our agreement. I'd like to get back to normal… or whatever normal can be for someone like me."

"You don't have to work, lover. I'll make sure you have everything you need," Eric said. I was about to go off on him, but he looked so concerned that my anger just melted away.

"Eric, I have taken care of myself for years. I don't plan on being a housewife. I need to work. I need to provide for myself and I need to have something that I can accomplish and be proud of. Plus, there are a lot of crazies out there that want to hurt people and maybe I can catch some of them before they do any real harm."

"But…" Eric tried to interrupt. I held up my hand and he stopped.

"I need this, Eric. I need to work," I explained, hoping that he would understand. I think he did or at least he decided it was useless arguing about it. Things between us were so much easier than they used to be. We both were too prideful and too stubborn for our own good, but we seemed to be working things out well.

He sat down next to me and the movie previews started playing. I said quietly, "Eric, thank you." He simply nodded with a small smile on his face. I was more thankful than I could express that he was being to kind to me and supporting me. I'd been so independent for so long, taking care of myself, but I needed support now. I knew I was a lucky woman to have so many people willing to help me and protect me.

We watched the movie for a while before I spoke up again. I didn't have a clue what we were watching. All I knew was that I was wrapped up in Eric's arms. "What happened after I passed out?" I was using all my energy to feel no emotion, to remain detached. "Did he give you any information?"

"I did not stay. I brought you here," Eric said. He sounded a little...insulted that I thought he had stayed. I noticed that he had effectively avoided the second question.

"I know you wanted to be there," I said. Eric liked the action. It said a lot to me that he had missed it to take care of me. We didn't say anything more for a couple minutes. Finally I broke the silence. "Do you know what happened after we left?"

"Do you really want to hear about it?" Eric asked quietly and gently. I could feel his inner turmoil. I ignored that and nodded. I braced myself for the worst.

"He was very forthcoming with information. Amun, the Prince and Preston were the only ones that knew about you, as far as Amun was aware. Preston is related to Prince Damarion and that is how they came to talk about you in the first place. Damarion wanted to know if Preston was still indebted to Niall so Preston explained…his part in your Christmas present. Preston was against using you in any way and was not involved in your abduction. It sounds as though he is still under the impression that he convinced them to leave you alone. The goal of your abduction was to break you and then bring you to the gathering of Damarion's supporters." He looked at me closely and watched my reactions. I nodded at Eric to continue. He very slowly spoke. "He was going to bring you to the gathering as a gift for the guests to use as they wished. He timed it so you would be in the fertile part of your cycle during that time."

My mind felt like it was frozen. What the hell do you say to something like that? What was I supposed to think about that? I just couldn't grasp the reality of it. I shook my head, trying to clear the images.

"Is he dead?" I asked. My voice sounded small…lifeless…detached.

"Yes." Eric squeezed my shoulders, reassuring me that he was still there for me.

We continued to watch the movie, or rather, stare blankly at the TV and several minutes later, I finally whispered, "Good." I felt a great sense of relief knowing he was dead and couldn't hurt me again. I couldn't bring myself to feel bad that he was dead. I should feel bad knowing that this man was tortured and murdered. I obviously wasn't strong enough to be there and witness it like I thought I wanted, but at least I wouldn't regret not trying. A good person, a moral person would be horrified by the whole situation: the torture and murder of a man. Granted he was an evil man, but a man nonetheless. I would like to think that I am both a good person and a moral person, but I was glad that he was dead. I was glad that he experienced pain before he died. Hopefully a lot of pain. The things he did to me…if he hadn't healed me, I could and should have died…several times over. I was glad he was dead. I was glad that he suffered. I couldn't find it in myself to feel bad about it.

We sat in silence watching the movie. I still had no idea what movie it was, but I watched the figures moving around on the screen.

It was a long time before I spoke again. "Did he suffer?"

"He did."

I was glad that Eric continued to stare straight ahead. "Did he break?" I asked. Of course my voice broke as I asked the question. I cleared my throat and steadied myself once again.

"He did. He begged and he broke."

"Good."

After a short pause, he turned to look at me and continued and I heard the pride in his voice. "You survived so much more and you did not break. You are the stronger person. You are brave and fierce. You have the heart of a warrior in the body of a beautiful princess. You amaze me with your spirit. You will not let him win."

I broke down and he held me to his chest. I sobbed and ruined another of Eric's shirts. I couldn't narrow down what I was crying about. I wept for everything, current and past. I let it all out while Eric held me close.

"I'm sorry I've ruined another of your shirts," I said when I finally pulled back from Eric.

"It is not a problem. I will happily buy a new shirt," Eric said with a smile. I smiled weakly back at him. "The sun will be rising soon. Let's go to bed," he suggested. He picked me up, bridal style and carried me down to the saferoom. I was thankful when Eric reminded me to take a sleeping pill before going to sleep. I hoped that it really would keep the nightmares away.

I fell asleep in Eric's arms feeling safe and loved.

***

I woke slowly, fading in and out of consciousness for a long time. I was happy to wake without screaming for a change, although I didn't much like the grogginess that came with taking a sleeping pill. I finally got out of bed and got ready for the day. I showered, brushed my teeth and put on a little bit of light makeup. The bags under my eyes were starting to diminish. I looked over my body in the mirror. The marks left from my torture were fading. Most of them I really had to look for in order to see them. That was good. I couldn't have hoped for better. My arms had been cut up a lot so I still needed to cover up those scars, but even those were fading so I wasn't going to complain. Frankly, I was lucky to be alive. I had been granted a second chance (although really, it was probably more like a fifth or sixth chance considering all the things I had been through the last couple years). I was grateful looking at my self and seeing how well I healing, especially after what my body had been through less than a week ago. I couldn't believe that not even a week ago, I was still being tortured. It still sometimes felt like something that had happened to someone else. Sometimes it was hard to figure out what reality was.

I got dressed and put my new replacement cell phone in the pocket of my jeans. I kissed Eric's forehead and covered him up with the sheet before leaving the bedroom. I knew it didn't make any difference to him while he was in his day sleep, but it made me feel better.

I fixed a small lunch and sat down to eat. I took out my new journal and started writing. I started toward the back of the journal and wrote what I remembered of my nightmares since being rescued. I hadn't had any nightmares last night for a change, but I thought it would be a good idea to write down what I remembered of the other ones.

Then I started writing my thoughts on Amun and what happened last night. When my hand finally hurt so much I could barely hold the pen, I had written fifteen pages and I had just barely gotten started. I hadn't kept a journal since I was a little girl and I really enjoyed it. I was glad that Janine had suggested it.

I screamed and fell out of my chair when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and pulled myself off the floor.

"Hello?" I answered timidly. I tried to remind myself that nobody could attack me through the phone, but my heart was still pounding from hearing it ring. It kind of reminded me of Terry's reactions to sudden sounds. I was probably a classic case of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

"Sookie!"

I smiled as I heard the familiar voice. "Hey Alcide! What up?" I asked.

"How are you feeling, Sookie?" he asked. I remembered passing out the night before and my smile faded a little.

"I'm fine, Alcide. Everyone told me it was a bad idea to go, and it was, but I'm fine now."

"I'm glad. Sookie, I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way over to pick you up. Eric told you I was coming, right?"

"Yes, he did."

"Good. I just wanted to let you know I was coming so you wouldn't get nervous when I pull up in the driveway," he said. Even over the phone I could tell he was regretting his last sentence. "I mean…I…that didn't come out like I meant it," he said scrambling for words.

I laughed, appreciating his effort.

"It's alright, Alcide. Thank you for warning me," I said graciously. "I'll see you soon."

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I regretted not asking him where we were going while I had him on the phone. I waited at the door and saw his truck pull up in front of the house. I waited for him and Tray to check things out around the house like Alcide and Kevin had done the time before. When Tray motioned for me to come out, I punched my code into the security system to let myself out. I checked and double checked that I had properly re-secured the house before going over to Alcide's truck. I gave both Tray and Alcide friendly hugs before getting into the truck.

I was still feeling uptight but I relaxed a little bit as we chatted. We drove for a long time but I wasn't paying much attention to where we were going. After a while I smiled big as I finally realized where we were headed. I playfully punched Alcide's arm as we pulled into the customer parking lot of Merlotte's.

Alcide and Tray walked on both sides of me, carefully watching our surroundings as we walked into the bar. I lowered my shields to see if I could hear anything out of place, but it was just the normal bar-like thoughts. It was calming to me since I had spent so much time there. It was comfortable and familiar.

Sam came right up to us when he saw us walk in and gave me a big hug. "Sookie! I'm so glad you came!" he said. I could 'hear' that he was surprised I'd agreed to go out in public.

"I couldn't miss out on lunch with friends," I said, smiling back at him. I looked over Sam's shoulder and saw Amelia, Calvin, Mel, Jason and Holly sitting at several tables that had been pushed together. They were in the back, windowless corner of the bar so no one could sneak up on us or see us through the windows. I sighed as I realized how I was analyzing our table location. I guessed that was just my life now.

I gave everyone big hugs. Jason came up to me last. It was a little awkward to say the least.

"Sookie, you look better than I was expecting," he said. I could hear his scolding himself for saying it like that. It was kind of funny how hard people were working not to say anything offensive to me. I wanted to be mad at Jason. I really did. But I gave him a huge hug. He was surprised, but after his initial shock, he hugged me back.

"I'm glad you're here today, Jason. I've missed you," I said.

He just nodded. I knew he felt bad about not coming to help. I knew that he must have heard about my condition when I was found and I was glad he felt really bad about abandoning me. He should feel bad about it but he was family and I did miss him. I wanted to get things right with us.

We all sat down and one of the new waitresses I had hired came over and took our orders. We had a great time. We laughed and told stories and nobody said anything about what had happened to me. I finally felt a little closer to normal. I knew it wouldn't last long but it was nice while it did.

"Cher, I was wondering if you could come in on Saturday to do some interviews," Sam said, with a hopefully look on his face. "I understand if you're not ready, but I'd appreciate your help."

"That would be fine, Sam, if I can find someone to drive me." I felt ridiculous that I needed body guards to leave the house, but I had vowed not to take my security for granted.

Tray spoke up quickly, "Sookie, I'd be happy to accompany you. You're doing interviews?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm going to help Sam do interviews using my extra skills to make sure he gets good employees and no religious fanatics."

Before I knew it I had a day of interviews set up. Alcide had a bunch of interviews that he needed to schedule. He'd postponed them because of me, so I offered to help out.

"Sookie, if you're going to do this as a business, you have to charge me. I think it's a great idea for you. I am paying," Alcide said enthusiastically.

"Alcide, you've been acting as my body guard. It's the least I can do. Listen, I'll give you a freebee this time, but I'll charge you next time. Alright?" I asked. I smiled as he nodded in agreement.

"I'll keep my ears open for other opportunities for you. I think it's a great idea for you to have your own business," Alcide said. I let myself feel hopeful for my future.

I heard a loud pop and I jumped and spilled what was left of my iced tea. So much for my moment of contentment. My eyes searched quickly for the source of the sound/danger and I saw Claudine standing next to the table. She looked miserable. I looked around at the other people in the bar but nobody other than our group had noticed her sudden appearance. Everybody became really quiet as they regarded my fairy godmother. I had missed her and I had been wondering where she was. She'd always watched out for me, but she hadn't even attempted to contact me since this whole mess happened. I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't be mad at her when I saw her unkempt appearance and tear stained cheeks.

She looked at me apprehensively and I got up and gave her a big hug. I held her tighter as she started sobbing.

"Sookie, I'm so sorry. I couldn't find you when you were missing because of the magic, but he wouldn't let me help. Once we knew you were safe, I wanted to come to you and help you, but he won't let me. I've been forbidden to be your fairy godmother anymore and I've been reassigned." I felt horrible as Claudine started sobbing again. She was always such a happy, carefree person. I hated to see her like that.

"Claudine, it's okay. You have saved my life so many times. I have plenty of people that can help keep me safe. Please, Claudine. I'll be just fine. I appreciate all that you have done for me."

"Sookie, I'm sorry. I just had to say goodbye." She leaned close to me and whispered in my ear so quietly I almost couldn't hear her, "I'm sorry, Sookie. Please forgive me. I needed to say goodbye and I needed you to know. Niall first contacted you because of your association with the vampire Eric. He sensed a coming war and wanted to be in an advantageous position. He wasn't sure how your association with the various Supes might help, but he thought it would be an advantage. Plus your skill makes you very valuable in the eyes of many. He's decided that it isn't worth it now, so he is abandoning the effort. I'm sorry. I didn't know about any of this before. I'm not supposed to say anything, but I couldn't just disappear from your life with no explanation. I'll try to keep an eye on you, but I won't be able to keep you safe like I did before. He is my prince and his word is law. I'm sorry."

I finally knew why Niall contact me. I had to say I wasn't surprised. It was just another person using me like a pawn. I could feel the misery coming off Claudine and I knew that she loved me. This wasn't her fault.

"Claudine, you have nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for all you've done for me and thank you for telling me. I'll be fine. I'll miss you," I said quietly. I wiped the tears from her face. She stepped away from me and gave me a final sad look. I never thought I'd have to see Claudine looking so devastated.

"You'll make a great angel, Claudine. You already are an angel to me," I said. Her lips turned up in a slight smile and she 'popped' back out of the room. Jane Bodehouse was the only one not in our group to notice her sudden disappearance. I heard her inner debate over what had just happened. She pushed her drink away and asked Terry at the bar to call her a cab. I smiled a little. Sometimes weird shit can be a good thing.

"Who was that?" Jason asked with a sense of wonder in his voice. He was still new to this supernatural world, plus, Claudine was gorgeous, even in her current state.

"That was Claudine. She was my fairy godmother, but she's been reassigned. I have all you guys to take care of me now," I joked, trying to blink back my tears.

Jason blanched as he realized I was serious. I heard him mutter under his breath, "Fairy godmother?"

After a couple more minutes of joking and stories our little party broke up. I hugged all my friends and said goodbye. I told Jason that I'd like to sit down and talk sometime. He agreed that he'd like to do that. I could hear in his mind that he was sorry and regretted reacting like he did when I went missing.

The drive back to Shreveport was relaxing. It was so nice just being with friends and being treated like normal again. I sighed in contentment as we got close to Fangtasia. I opened my side of the bond and pushed a wave of lust toward Eric. I smiled as I felt his amusement and his own lust. He was waiting at the employee entrance when we pulled up. I said goodbye to Alcide and Tray and got out of the truck. Eric pulled me close to him and walked with me into the club. I even saw him give a small wave to them. Maybe he was finally making some progress.

"Are you ready to get to work?" Eric asked me.

"You bet," I replied with a big smile. I was actually excited to get to work. I was finally embracing the part of me I'd always hated. Using the talent I used to consider a curse. "Let's do it."

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