AN: HEY GUYS! TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE! SO GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS! CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST !

I'm pretty excited. But in all seriousness, I want to thank the HELL out of you people. Seriously, guys. Wow. This story has become my most reviewed of all time, and I don't know whether that's because it's become one of my favorite, if it's because this section is becoming so popular, or because YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AWESOME! I'm thinking it's that last, but you can never be sure. So. Back to business. This is Part Two of my Ultra Special Holiday Special for I'm A Loser! YAY! Hope you guys like it, since it's my present to you all.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK?"

John stands up quickly, leaving Liam to sit all by himself on the couch. He's shaking, his eyes darting back and forth from me to John and back to me. No one says anything for a few deadly moments; you could cut the tension in the air with a motherfucking fork.

"H-Hi, babe," Liam stutters, standing up slowly. He is going to try and play it off…I don't even believe it. I SAW him trying to kiss John. SAW HIM. There's no way in HELL he's getting off on this one.

"Stay the fuck away from me," I hiss, taking a step back. John remains where he is, as though he's just an innocent bystander.

"I know what you're thinking. I do. But this isn't what it looks like."

"No?" I practically scream. "So you WEREN'T trying to make a move on my—" I stop dead, thinking about what I could call John. I don't like him; how CAN he? He's a lying, cheating, no good bastard. Well, I guess not lying. "—my John?"

John smiles quietly in his corner. The words are magic to his ears.

"Your John," Liam repeats, a twisted smile appearing on his face. "You little whore."

I roll my eyes dramatically, taking a heavy step towards the couch, which stands as a barrier between me and Liam. "Just shut the fuck up, you know how I feel about John."

"Yeah," he sneers, "and I know how he feels about you."

I blink once or twice, digesting this. In truth, I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I decide that I'll think about it later. "And now I also know how YOU feel about him."

"I'm not—"

"Gay?" I watch the way he flushes at this, his mouth opening slightly. "Yeah, actually I'm pretty sure you are. Straight guys don't usually try and kiss other straight guys. Or is that all new to you?"

"He led me on!" Liam exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. "He made it seem like—he was acting like…" His voice trails away, waiting for me to fill in the blanks. But for once, I won't.

"I don't CARE if he led you on. I don't care, I don't care. You are what you are, Liam. There's nothing wrong with it. However, there IS something wrong with denying it and hiding behind me." I tear my eyes off his face, slowly roving my eyes until they are firmly focused on John. "I'm sorry for not believing you the first time," I say softly.

Simultaneously, John and Liam say:

"YOU TOLD HER?"

"It's okay."

I close my eyes, shaking my head and taking a step back. A step away from it all. I'm done, I decide. I don't want to deal with it all.

"Maybe it would better if you left, Banana Boy," John says, aiming this towards the King himself. "Now, thanks."

There is angry shout from Liam in retort, but both me and John ignore it. He stalks towards the door angrily, hardly stopping at all to whip something thin and light at my head.

"Fuck you. Fuck you both," he says just before he slams the door shut.

And then we're alone.

There is a blanket of silence that covers us both. I feel John's eyes on me, but I'm busy with something else. "This is your notebook," I say, holding the worn thing in my hands like someone would hold a small child.

"Yes."

I hardly even look up at him, instead flipping it open. Inside there are an array of what look like poems, songs, and drawings. I stop to read one, and it nearly brings tears to my eyes. "John…" I whisper, the word sounding so strange coming from my mouth. "Why did Liam have this."

He takes a hesitant step towards me. "He was holding it for ransom."

"Why?"

I flip the page, reading a poem about a girl with curly black hair and green eyes. It sparks something in my mind. Who do I know that looks like that…? I feel a hand on my arm, and I look up.

"He said that if I told you about…about him, then he would tell you about me," John says gently, looking down at me with those nearly black, beady eyes.

I nod slowly. About him…who would have known? Who would have known that John Lennon could be so deep, so passionate…so in love? It's a beautiful contradiction, to be honest. The bad boy is madly in love with a girl that he can't be with. But who is she?

I look up at him, surprised at the amount of intensity he's staring at me with. "John, you loser, you really need to tell her. These are beautiful."

"I was planning on it."

I cock my head, Liam so far out of my mind at this point that I manage to smile. "Who are these about?"

Wordlessly, he takes a step forward, his eyes locked on mine. I realize far too late what's going on, and before I know it his lips are on mine, and I press against the wall. His body mashes up beside mine, his back arching because of the difference in our height. Our lips, seemingly connected, meld together perfectly. It's the best kiss I've ever had…it's magical. The kind of kiss you never want to end.

Then I remember: I hate him.

I pull away, breathless. "John, stop," I manage, trying half-heartedly to detangle myself from his arms. "Stop it."

He puts his head in the crook of my shoulder and my head, breathing deeply. "You don't know how long I've loved you," he whispers huskily, his voice filled to the brim with longing, honesty, and fervor.

I bite my lip, shoving away from him. My body protests from the removal of his delicious heat, but my mind purrs happily. I hate him, I remind my rebellious body. Don't you remember when Henry died?

"I-I can't…John, I don't want to make it seem like…" He watches me intently, awaiting my next words. I don't think even I'M heartless enough to deliver them, but it turns out that I'm bitchier than I thought. "I don't want to make it seem like I'm in love with you, too."

Ouch, is written all over his face. Oh my fucking ouch. Before he can say anything, I rush towards the door, pulling it open and stepping into the freezing night. I take off at a run, getting to the end of the block before I fall to my knees in despair.

Some girls have it all; they're well-off, they have a family that loves them, they're amazingly beautiful, girls just want to be them. Sometimes they have a boy that loves them. I, however, do NOT have it all. Instead, God gave me TWO boys that love me. And, being the cold-hearted bitch that I am, I broke both of their hearts.

But in my defense, one WAS gay.

AN: Damn. Uhh…soooo…Happy Holidays everyone. I'm gonna be taking a short hiatus on this story until after the holidays are over, so I'll leave you guys to digest this. Oh, and just so you all know, I didn't have Cara reject John because I hate him. I had her do it because…well, she JUST broke up with her newly found gay boyfriend, and if she fell immediately in love with John, it would be BEYOND unrealistic. And I need to cling to the little bit of realism that I portray in this story, because God knows it's fake as hell. Haha, so leave a review telling me what you thought, and I'll be back…I have no fucking idea. I'll just say I'll be back when I have the slightest clue what's gonna happen next. So…buh bye!