Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight or it's characters.. not even Edward :(
(A/N)Yeah.. I know it's been a while.. In defense I have been working hard on it! I've wrote nearly 12 chapters and they all sucked and I had to delete them. In all honestly, I'm very upset with myself. I've been careless and sloppy with my work and I really need to learn how to take proper notes. I'm sure you are all dying to hear about my flaws but I have really really neglected you so.. here it is!
Previously..
I woke to the soft hum of the car, Edward must have seated himself in the backseat with me because I felt his hard chest under my head. I peaked up and saw him staring contently out the window, I looked out the window fallowing his gaze and saw the 'Welcome to Forks' sigh pass by.
This was it, I've finally made it back to my home town. What was to be expected here? I didn't know, but I was terrified my past would come back and bite me hard. This was the place my mother and father died, this was the place where I met the best vampire family ever, and this was the place where I would most likely meet my destiny because here is where it all began.
Edward's POV
It's been 2 weeks since we relocated to Forks.
I can't say I'm pleased we're here.. In fact I'm rather upset.
Bella shouldn't have to go through all this again, and she certainly shouldn't have to hear about her parents 'deaths'.
And I most definitely don't want her talking to Billy or Jacob Black.. I'd have to find a way to get Alice to keep tabs on them.
These last few weeks have been difficult. Bella keeps dropping hints about our relationship, not to me really.. she's actually been avoiding me, it was something I'd have to take care of soon, it was really starting to get out of hand. She hasn't spoken with me at all, she says little things like 'It'd be nice if people showed their real feelings.' to Alice while I'm in the room but other than that she hasn't spoken one word to me.. not one... Out of all the things going on in our twisted world this seems to be the one that worry's me the most.
Last week Alice approached me..
"You know it's only a matter of time." Alice had told me with her arms crossed, I narrowed my eyes and grounded my teeth together.
"Not if I can help it." I replied, picking up a CD Bella must have taken out and setting it back on my shelf.
"Edward, it's going to happen. I still see it exactly the way it was in the beginning, and it'll be before she turns 15.." Alice said softly, I heard her fast footsteps. She was directly behind me now. " I can see where you're coming from, Edward. I really do, but I can also see where Bella is coming from. She's ready, you're ready. You're just scared."
I huffed and shoved my hands in my pocket. I was not scared... I was terrified. What if I hurt her? She deserves better than me. I've never had something like this happen to me, I've never fallen in love with someone and I definitely haven't fallen in love with a human teenager that meant more to me than anything else in this universe.
I once again tried to peek inside Alice's head, hoping to see the vision of Bella and I getting together but like every other time, Alice is saying the alphabet in every language possible.
I was going to stall this relationship for as long as I could, hoping that maybe she'll give up and just move on to be with a human boy.
That's what had me worried at the moment, her avoiding me.. It makes me think that maybe she's taken the hint, maybe she's tired of waiting for me and is ready to be with someone good for her. I had many emotions playing out; Sadness, anger, jealously, hope, relief, and most of all I was frustrated.
Even now, as I sit here at my piano bench near the foyer listening to her humming to the melody from her stereo upstairs in her room. I couldn't help but be frustrated with her, despite how much I've put into keeping her away from me. I was very close to being mad at her. I just wish I could hear her thoughts, to understand why she's not talking to me. Alice is no such luck of course, and Bella doesn't talk about her feelings with an other person.
I was going to have to figure out blind, my ability disabled for a reason I couldn't fathom and Alice's stubborn ways refusing me to see the visions produced in her mind.
I slammed my hands on the keys in frustration, the piano made a loud noise and cracked down the middle. I cursed under my breath a stood from the bench grabbing at my hair.
I was going to lose my mind if Bella didn't talk to me soon.
I could hear Rosalie snickering from the garage and Emmett's loud laughter.
Why won't you just talk to her, Edward. I mean dammit, stop breaking furniture. Rosalie called out in her thoughts.
I balled my hands up.
"Go talk to her, Edward." Alice whispered from the floor above.
I closed my eyes and sighed, running a hand through my hair again as I debated on weather or not to just go up there.
After a few moments I turned and started the other way, heading out the backdoor.
This was for the best, Bella wouldn't be held back from me. I tried to convince myself
"You're such a stubborn asshole!" Rosalie yelled, making no effort to keep her voice down. I wouldn't be surprised if Bella heard her. She really needs to stop cursing in front of her, Bella seems to pick up new vulgar words everyday.
I ignored her and ran over to the right side of the house and leaped up into my window, it was easier this way. I wouldn't have to walk past Bella's door.
I laid down on my leather couch, resting my hands behind my head and closing my eyes. Wishing I could sleep for once in my life.
I heard footsteps going down the stairs, they were loud. It was Bella. I listened intently as she entered the kitchen with a loud sigh.
"Esme, can you come with me to the store? I really want to practice driving a little more before I go to get my permit." Bella said softly.
I rolled my eyes. Only Bella would star driving a year before she was even allowed to get her permit. In the state of Washington, you're only allowed to start driving within 60 days of your 16th birthday. I couldn't even believe Carlisle allowed her to start practicing.. It was not a nice conversation after I found out.
"Bella, I have lots to do right now. Ask one of the boys I'm sure they'll be happy to go." She said.
I narrowed my eyes in confusion, and peeked into Esme's mind. She had absolutely nothing to do today.
I wonder if Bella would like Bacon for breakfast tomorrow. She thought happily in her head.
I heard Bella huff and the shuffle of her feet, she was near the garage.
"Rose? Emmett? Can one of come with me to the store?" She asked, I knew Jasper was in there with them but she didn't bother asking him, knowing the answer would probably be no. Jasper seemed to be having a more difficult time being around Bella these days.
"Nope." Emmett said
"No sorry, Bella. Have Edward or Alice take you." Rose said at the same time.
I slowly started to smile, seeing in Emmett's mind that Alice had planned this.
"Alice, please please come with me." Bella pleaded, sounding desperate. That made me frown, she really didn't want to speak with me.
"Just have Edward take you, I promised Jazz some alone time." Alice said
"Edward." Alice called out in a normal voice.
I smiled and got up, heading down the stairs to the living room.
"I'll be happy to go with you to the store Bella." I said with a small smile.
Ohhh, you owe me Edward Cullen. Don't you think I'll forget either. Alice thought
I smiled
"I'll buy you a new porche for your birthday." I said to low for Bella's ears.
I saw Alice smile before heading out of the room, leaving me and Bella alone.
She wasn't looking at me, rather scolding at the floor.
"Bella." I said, hoping to get her attention.
She scolded up at me, waiting for me to say more.
I didn't, I couldn't think of anything to say. I was hoping she would finally stop this immature behavior and talk to me.
She simply stared at me for a moment longer before turning and heading out toward the garage. Rose and Emmett were still perched by the jeep, but Jasper was long gone. Probably off somewhere with Alice.
Bella stopped at the wall that held all the keys to the cars- apart from mine of course, I kept my keys on me at all times.
Bella looked thoughtful as she scanned the wall for the keys she wanted. After about 45 seconds she grabbed the keys to Alice's yellow porche and moved to the drivers side. I stared after her in confusion.
Bella hated the porche, to be completely honest she really didn't even like any of the cars but she especially hated the porche, she claimed it was too tiny and flashy.
"What are you doing, BB?" Emmett asked, watching as Bella started up the car.
BB.
I smiled, Emmett's taken to calling Bella BB instead of Bellybutton. He'll occasionally have a relapse and go back to Bellybutton but it's been BB lately. It'll change within the next few weeks.
"Driving to the store." She said simply adjusting the seat back and pulling on her seatbelt. I still stood at the entrance of the garage, slightly confused. Hell, even Rose and Emmett were confused by Bella's behavior.
"Okay.. Why are you taking Alice's car?" He asked, lifting the jeep up for Rosalie.
Rose seemed to chuckle in understanding.
"Alice did this on purpose." She said simply, looking straight at me but not acknowledging me one bit
I rolled my eyes and hopped in next to her. She immediately pulled out of the garage, nearly slamming into the decorative sculpture Esme had sitting out front.
"Dammit, Bella. Take it easy." I said grabbing the handle above the seat.
Reflex action. She couldn't hurt me with a car wreck, but she could hurt herself.
She chuckled darkly and lifted her foot of the gas pedal, her voice quivered and shook. It was obvious she just scared herself as well.
She didn't go above 30 after that and her slow pace plus her lack of speech were seriously starting to irritate me to know end
We sat quietly for a few more minutes and I was hyper aware of Bella's breathing increasing at a rapid pace as the silence continued on
It became to much for me and I hissed out in annoyance, turning in my seat to stare at her.
"Will you please say something?" I asked, nearly begged. Never had my vampire life been so… quiet and while I thought I'd love it, it was eating at me and I couldn't stand Bella's silent treatment
She turned her head to briefly glare at me before turning her gaze back on the road.
I growled and turned to stare out the window
The rest of the ride to the store was silent except for me counting the seconds away in my head.
18 minutes and 37 seconds later we pulled into a parking spot which took Bella nearly as long as it took us to get here.
Without a word she climbed out of the car and headed up the walk. I fallowed close behind, never taking my eyes off her. With her luck a truck full of dynamite would squash her and explode
After ten minutes of looking around, Bella grabbed a bag of potatoes.
Sighing I wondered why she would need potatoes but not speaking aloud because I knew she wouldn't answer me.
Bella walked by me, seeming to be completely oblivious toward me and headed for the school supplies isle where she grabbed a packet of black sharpie markers.
She went up to the cash register with me behind her to pay for her odd items, she went searching through her back pocket looking for her money.
I pulled the black card out of my wallet and silently handed it to the cashier.
"I'll pay you back when we get home." Bella said quietly.
"Finally she speaks!" I yelled a little to loudly, Bella rolled her eyes and went back to ignoring me.
Bella took the bag and walked to the car, purposely slamming the bag on the truck with excessive force before unlocking the car and getting in.
She didn't start the car up immediately like I expected she would. Instead, she pulled the bag of potatoes open and pulled out one. Ripping the bag open with her teeth, she pulled out one sharpie and began drawing a face on the potato with wild hair.
After a moment I noticed the potato was supposed to be me.
"Why are you doing that?" I asked, confused.
Bella sat the potato on her lap and threw the sharpie to the floor, she started up the car and pulled it into reverse backing out carefully.
Once she got on a deserted street she pulled over and unbuckled her seat belt. She took 'potato Edward' and stood on the side of the road. She looked back over at me with a glare and threw it to the ground stomping on it.
I gaped at her.
Seriously?
I was standing beside her before she even noticed.
"Bella," I said, watching her breathe heavily as she stared down at the now mashed potato. "I'm, ugh, guessing you're mad at me. But I have honestly no idea why you've been avoiding me or why you're upset with me" I said quietly
She looked up at me increadously before her gaze turned furious.
She balled her hands up into fists and looked like she wanted to punch me.
She began mumbling incoherently.
I growled in frustration and grabbed the tops of her arms softly.
"Just tell me what you want Bella!" I yelled.
She glared and pulled from me, or tried to anyways.
"You know what I want."
I ran my hand through my hair.
"If I knew what you want, I would have given it to you already. I can't stand this silent treatment anymore, it's driving me mad."
She snorted.
"You're so blind. What have I been asking about, no begging about for weeks?" She asked
My forehead crumpled in thought.
I knew it was obvious, I just couldn't put my finger on it
"You!" She said loudly. "I want you! You promised Edward, and it seems like you've forgot. Do you understand how bad that makes me feel? I thought you loved me. You said you did, was it just so you didn't hurt my feelings?"
I looked up at her as realization dawned. Of course I knew this is what she wanted, but I never thought she ignored me for it.
She looked like she was on the verge of tears, her breathing was heavy and her hands shaking.
"Of course I love you, Bella." I said grabbing a hold of her and pulling her into my chest kissing the top of her head.
"I know you think that if we're together it risks my safety but it doesn't Edward. We can figure out everything together. You have no idea how dependent I am of you, when you're away I can barely breathe. When your upset about something, I'm upset. If you ever leave me, I'll be gone too." She mumbled against my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me tight.
I pulled back and pulled her face up to look at me.
Her eyes were filled with passion, love, and honesty.
She really meant every word she said.
"I love you and I'm ready for this. So please stop being a stubborn assh-"
I covered her mouth with my hand and shook my head.
"You spend to much time with Rosalie." I chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.
She brought her hand up to cover mine, before sliding it up my arm to my cheek. His fingers sent sparks of warmth all through my body.
Closing my eyes I just enjoyed the feeling of her.
She explored my face, running her hands over my eyes and lips, my cheekbones and nose.
Opening my eyes I noticed her eyelashes were wet.
"You're so beautiful." She whispered.
I smiled
"You're beautiful, Bella."
Me. I'm a monster.
Caressing Bella's cheek I brought her closer to me, staring into her eyes the entire time. Giving her a chance to back out if this really wasn't what she wanted. I stopped a millimeter from her lips, watching her carefully. She smiled lightly and nodded her head, slowly closing her eyes and leaning her head against mine.
With one deep breath of her scent, I leaned in fully and captured her lips. At first I couldn't ignore the scorching fire that erupted in my throat, much like the first time. But when Bella intertwined her fingers in my hair, pulling me toward her so her body was flush against mine. I all but forgot about her blood and my thirst.
This was Bella. She was all that mattered.
Her devotion to me, my devotion to her- it was too strong to ignore and she seemed to know it before me.
(A/N) They're finally together! I'm telling you guys that last line was probably my favorite line out of this whole story.
Alright, so I know it's been like 4 months since my last chapter for BD... I'm soo sorry. I know I left you hanging and I'm really really sorry.
I'm still not sure about this chapter.. but I can't keep rewriting because I will seriously get frustrated and throw my laptop against the wall.
I know I shouldn't ask for reviews because I was selfish and rewrote this chapter at least a dozen times and never posted one. But, please review!