Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone

I hear you call my name

And it feels like home

When you call my name it's like a little prayer

I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there

In the midnight hour I can feel your power

Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

Like a prayer - Madonna
...

Soft eyes stared down the crisp white hospital corridor, a sturdy grip linking with a shaking delicate one as Rufus took his wife's hand and lead her to the doctor's passed by in a blur of off-whites and grays for Lily, her throat closing and her heart beating unsteadily as they edged ever closer to the room that held her future within its cracking walls. Without a sound, he pulled his wife onward, her own body unwilling to push herself forward, his strength was needed now more than ever.

"I can't do this.."

"Everything is okay Lily. Don't worry."

The white lacquered door was suddenly upon them, the sound of beeping machines, wheeling gurneys and patients names sounding out around the couple as Lily took a deep breath, Rufus waited patiently by her side.

He turned the knob of the door to the doctor's office, leading his wife into the room that would soon announce whether the fight was starting.

...

"Nathaniel, I swear to God if you are playing me I will kill you with my own hands."

Nate swallowed, "I'm not playing." He gritted his teeth, "They don't want to waste their money on you Chuck. The only way you can make them stay and finance this company is selling your shares. They feel like their money is going to be wasted and I can guarantee you that more than one will pull off the pluck on Bass Industries."

"That is not an option! I don't have the money to continue this alone. This hotel isn't making any profits yet." Chuck growled in frustration, "Why didn't you just wake me up?"

Blair had a distant expression in her eyes, "This isn't Nate's fault." She shook the feeling of unease away and turned to look firmly at Chuck, "It's not like this is the first time this has happened. You've been walking around doing nothing for months and this is what happens when you do that.."

He was angry at himself, "What now then? I just give up?"

She looks up into Chucks concerned face and shakes her head 'no'.

"What about your other bank accounts? your father's shares? You must have some money left. You told me when you got the hotel back that everything was under control."

He made a growing noise in the back of his throat, and when Blair glanced up at him the jovial humor in his expression had been replaced by an anxious smile," I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth.."

She took a determined step closer, "What do you mean Chuck?"

"My father left me a pile of debts and when Jack came along he caused even more money issues. He basically emptied all of my father's foreign bank accounts that I didn't even know that existed and when I found out it was too late. The empire wasn't making enough money so I took a loan." Chuck explained, his voice so low that he was almost whispering.

"A loan?" Nate looked confused, "From who?"

"Someone who offered help," Chuck responded vaguely, "Blair's mother."

"What!" The brunette shouted frantically, "When did this happen?"

"It was right after we got the hotel back-"

"We! "She snapped, shouting just inches away from his face, "I was the one who-"

"Okay, okay calm down." Nate pulled Blair away, "Chuck," He turned to look at him, "How much?"

He sighed, scratching at the day-old stubble on his face, "Hundred thousand. All gone. I paid most of the debts with it."

Both of them could feel the anger tremble in Blair's limbs. "Why haven't I heard any of this?"

"I told your mother not to speak to you about it. It was my decision."

Nate's breath was caught in his throat, but Blair and Chuck continued to stare each other off, as though he wasn't even present.

"You know very well why I didn't tell you-"

"Because you are a liar!" She cried, her voice rising with her agitation, "You promised me that you would never lie to me again and here we are again."

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

Blair shook her head, muttering under her breath furiously as she walked out of the apartment.

"Well.. that went well.." Nate said shortly, killing the conversation with his sarcasm, "I have an idea." He bites his lip, "I will buy you out."

"What? Are you out of your mind?"

"No Chuck, this is the best solution. I will hold the Company under my name and they will think that I'm in charge, but truthfully it would be you in the end. You could pay me back when you had the money."

"That's a great idea, but.. you don't have that much money." He pointed out.

He scowled, "I can always borrow, or-"

Chuck cut him off, "Nathaniel you are not gambling or borrowing money from anybody."

"So you are just going to sell out?" He finally blew out the truth, "This is the one thing that I have always admired about you. This business and how you handle it. You can't give up now. I know certain people and I have the money, just let me help you."

"What if you worked with me?" He asked calmly.

"What?"

"Partnership," Chuck explained, "Until I get enough money to buy my part of the deal, I think you should work with the company. I can show everyone that they can trust me with you."

He looked at Chuck, "You really would trust me to handle your father's business?"

"While I figure out what to do with the Jenny, I can trust you to look over something that my father built. This way I can keep The Empire and The Bass industries." Chucks voice held a rare sincerity.

"I guess we are partners then." Nate patted Chucks back and smiled widely.

...

For a split-second Vanessa didn't realize who was standing in the doorway.

As soon as she did, instinct had her bracing herself for a fight.

"Jenny."

Jenny simply looked at her for a moment, "Oh, um, hi," She said finally, still unable to gather her thoughts, "Can I talk to you?"

Vanessa gave her a blank expression, "Sure.." She sighed and folded the dishcloth that she was holding.

The heavily pregnant girl frowned at her, "Why did you come back?"

She raised her eyebrows at her, "What do you want me to say? I felt betrayed. I was needed somewhere else and this whole year has been extremely confusing."

"Unlike you.. I'm not running away, but if I had the choice I wouldn't be here." Jenny said quietly. "You know why."

"Jenny I was only thinking about you when I told Dan. I helped you." She looked down at her, arrogant and annoyed, "You're like a little sister to me."

"It was none of your business. That is the problem Vanessa." Jenny graced her with a knowing smile, "Anyway, I'm not here because of that." She tilted her head to one side, "We need to talk about Dan."

The brunette nodded sadly as she understood what she was doing there, "I think you should let him do his own decisions."

"I know that you want Dan to be happy and you love him. At least I thought you were mature enough to let him go and stop messing with him and Serena."

She fumed. "You don't know anything about it. I do love him. This has nothing to do with Serena."

Jenny's smile widened, "We both know that is a lie." She lowered her voice conspiratorially, "I know that is hard when someone like Serena Van Der Woodsen steals something from you."

"Serena didn't steal Dan from me. They weren't even involved." Vanessa gave an uncomfortable shrug and walked back into the kitchen.

"She did steal him," Jenny muttered, "She stole his heart and you can never get it back."

Vanessa stopped mid-step and turned around. She watched her as she continued, "Vanessa this isn't going to help anybody. You need to admit to yourself that what was between you and Dan is gone. It's fate."

"What if there is no fate? What if we came together to make our own fate, did you ever think about that?"

Jenny wrapped her arms around her body, "I just want Dan to be happy and believe it or not.. I want you to be happy too."

She sighed and looked at her, a small smile forming at the corners of her mouth, "What if I made us some hot chocolate?"

"I'd like that." The blonde lowered her eyes and laughed a little at herself, but was interrupted when she got a surprising message on her phone.

...

Lily and Rufus were standing close together as they came in.

He had his arm wrapped protectively around her. Jenny could tell that they were both upset, not just Rufus.

Lily was gripping a piece of paper in her hand tightly, wrinkling it up.

"What's going on?" Rest of the family looked anxiously at their parents, "Why did we all have to come here?" Jenny asked curiously.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Dan rushed towards them, but Rufus reached his arm out and gently grabbed his shoulder, signaling for him to stay away, "Let's sit down for a second. We need to talk."

"Mom, what's going on?" Serena was getting even more worried. This couldn't be good. She felt her stomach turning.

When they all finally managed to sit down, the front door opened.

Eric turned to look at the hallway, "Are we expecting somebody?"

Lily gave a weak smile, "The whole family needs to be here."

Moments later Chuck barged in with a worried look on his face.

"What is he doing here dad?" Dan tensed and Jenny got up, "I'm not staying here if he is staying."

Rufus shot a look towards her, "Jenny. Sit." and so she did.

"He is family." Lily gave that same desperate smile again, "Charles, please sit down."

Chuck sat beside Eric, nervously tapping his fingers against the leather sofa.

The silence in the room was deadly. Each pair of eyes glued to the older couple who both looked devastated.

Lily remained frozen to her chair, the shock of seeing all her children in the same room made her weaker. She had longed, prayed for an answer and now she had it. Tears sprang forth like tin droplets of salty rain, the mother hearing a strange whooshing sound escaping into the air. It took all of two seconds for Rufus's arms to envelope her completely, and it was then that she realized that the whooshing sound was coming from her, all shock releasing itself from her body like a tidal wave of emotion.

"Mom.." Tears begin to well in Serena's eyes as Dan held her hand.

She had seen that look on her mothers face before.

Rufus opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and looked down shaking his head.

Jenny saw droplets of water fall from her father's face and hit the ground. The first time she had seen her dad cry in a long time.

"What is it?" Chuck and Eric prompted barely staying on their seats.

Lily glanced at her husband before finally speaking.

"I," She was shaking from the tears and sobbing with every breath, "I didn't want it to come to this but.." She tried to stutter out what she needed to say, "I have leukemia."

Eric felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart and perhaps even the lungs, since his ability to breathe seemed paralyzed.

Jenny looked at Lily in confusion. Her mind was in too much of a haze. The words she heard were blurry and jumbled up. She could hear Serena crying even harder and louder now. She was going into pieces. Serena's eyes widened with fear as she tried to comprehend what they just said. Dan walked over to her, and pulled her into her side, obviously trying to comfort her. Chuck sat eyes widened and stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"What does this mean?" Eric finally cried, tears streaming down his face.

"I've been feeling sick for the past couple of months, but the doctor's finally confirmed today that it is leukemia." Lily tried to keep herself together.

"You've been sick for months!" Eric shouted, "And you're just telling us now?"

"Eric-" Rufus tried to make him stay, but he pushed him away.

"No! You lied to me! Both of you! Stay away from me!" He rushed out of the room, trying to escape the situation.

Jenny looked at Serena, who had tears freely rolling down her cheeks.

Jenny, herself, felt emotionally numb.

"What's your prognosis?" Chuck asked carefully.

Jenny still couldn't find her voice.

Lily swallowed hard before answering her son's question, "If they can't find a bone marrow transplant, maybe a year or two. There's not a whole lot they can do."

"I need a moment, I'm sorry." Chuck said, trying to compose himself as he walked out of the living room. Dan and Serena were curled on the corner of the sofa, crying. Rufus held Lily's hand while shaking his head in confusion, "I promise it's going to be okay.." Lily said desperately and looked at her, "Jenny.."

She shook her head, still unable to speak. Wordlessly, she got up from her chair and went into her bedroom. The moment she closed the door, she let the tears go and sunk to the ground, sobbing loudly.

...

"Got a light?" Chuck approached Eric.

Eric looked up and saw Chuck holding a cigarette on his hand. He tossed the lighter to him and shrugged.

"So you smoke?"

"I don't smoke." Eric said calmly, blowing another puff of smoke.

"I smoke because it relieves stress." He replied in a calm tone and continued, "Eric, she isn't going to die."

He shook his head, "When did you get your doctors permit huh? Chuck you can't say that when you don't know. "

"Lily is strong. I know it and so do you."

Eric swallowed hard, fighting tears, "It's mom. My mom." He closed his eyes and laughed humorlessly. "You know it's bullshit. Everything I have raised to believe in is bullshit! No one wants Gods will to be done. Because that will doesn't make any fucking sense!" Eric gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, holding back the tears. It felt like he was the one whose life was over. The pain built up in his chest, making it seem like his heart was about to explode. "Why?" He choked out. "Why my mom? What the hell did she do?"'

Without caring about future teasing and photos that would hit in the web, he leaned in and hugged his little brother "You did nothing Eric."

Boohoo I got a little teary eyed as I imagined the scene where everybody broke out crying :(

I just wanted, for a second to take the focus from the baby to other characters...

The whole story arc of Lily being sick had me fascinated in Gossip Girl because cancer is a bit of a taboo topic.

So it will be also a learning experience to write about it. Like I have been doing research on the baby too, how it grows monthly which is funny :P

Hopefully my mom wont look at my web history.. She could get seriously scared and think that I was pregnant.. :D

Thanks again for support :)

XoxoDesireh