Author's Note

Then Gordon said, "It's time to finish this ones and for all!"

And he punched the story in the face and the story ended.

Happy Tree Camp!

"So, let me get this straight," Sniffles said, adjusting his glasses once again, "You're telling me whatever you write becomes reality, and this bat monster from Russia and a Demon sealed away in a jar conspired together to steal these powers away from you?"

"That'd be the looks of it," Phoenix responded. He was hunched over that same stone tablet that the demon had been making him write on, and seemed to be going over it. Every once in a while he would take a small ballpoint pen from him pocket and scribble something out on it, before deciding he didn't like the wording of it and scribbled it out.

"And on top of that, I'm also supposed to believe that this temple was buried here this whole time, and holds the secret to defeating this curse? And that you're now going to rearrange the bodies of a few campers because they had gotten mixed up earlier?"

Phoenix didn't even look in Sniffles direction, only nodded and grunted something to let him know he was on track.

"This seems like a shoddily put together story, if you ask me." Sniffles remarked.

"Hey!" Phoenix shot a hurt look in the anteater's direction before returning to his writing.

"Well then," Sniffles said, peeking over Phoenix's shoulder as he wrote, "I can only assume you're now going to write what happens next?"

"Not quite, I need to fix what's going on right now," Phoenix looked out over the sides of the temple.

He could see the campers near the bottom, all exhausted from the recent excitement, but some were not so tired that they could help climbing up the side of the temple. A few were already at the top, and admiring the view alongside Caramel and the others. The Demon was still being held in Cro's iron grip, struggling and muttering curses in a tongue most didn't understand.

"Dad, Daaaad!" Pippy was still tugging on Phoenix's shirt, trying to pry his attention away from the tablet, "What are ya goin ta do about that monster bat guy?"

"Pippy, I told you, I've got it all under control," He said, jotting down another quick sentence, "Once I'm finished getting these girls back into their proper bodies… Now where is that Soul Jar?"

On cue, Caramel popped up holding the jar, "Right here, I found it back in the Mess Hall!"

"Excellent, now if we could all gather up right here I can remedy this body swapping." He looked over to Cro-Marmot, "This should work, right?"

"Well, I can't entirely say," A voice from the invisible marmot was all there really was of him right now, "You're the omnipotent one, are you not? But in theory there's no reason it shouldn't work."

"Never said I knew everything," Phoenix said under his breath, "Okay, Blade, Caramel, Shirley, and Flaky, all of you come here."

"Um, Phoenix," Blade said, "Flaky's been missing for some time now. Nobody's seen her since we started swapping bodies."

"Yeah," Caramel added, "We were hoping that when we found whoever had my body we'd find Flaky but,"

"Oh, really?" Phoenix smiled.

Sniffles suddenly noticed that the ball of light was still floating around his head. It spun around him quickly, and then flew over to Phoenix

He held out his hand and the little wisp of red light landed on it, still glowing softly. He lowered the wisp down onto the tablet, and it started to glow purple, and then blue, and slowly sank inward as the writing on the stone illuminated. Phoenix only shot a glance at Caramel, and then Blade, and then the Demon, and they all began glowing. And, with a flash of light and a slight smelled of burned fur, they were gone.

Before Sniffles could ask where they had gone, Phoenix pointed skyward. The anteater looked up just in time to see a raccoon, a badger, a jar, and a very small porcupine fall from the black sky. Luckily, nobody was hurt in the fall, because Phoenix caught the jar and Blade in one hand each, and Sniffles managed to catch the miniature Flaky before she fell. And Caramel, well Sniffles broke her fall.

Once he pulled his battered body out from underneath Caramel, Sniffles held out Flaky, who seemed to be her normal self, save for being three inches tall. He whispered, so as not to hurt her very small eardrums,

"Flaky, are you,"

"Yup," She cut him off, "Back in my normal body, though just a little on the short side."

"Well, I just needed to thank you," Sniffles said, "For everything. That was pretty amazing what you did while you were, um, a fairy?"

Flaky gave him a puzzled look, then laughed and said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure how what happened happened, but it was kind of crazy. I felt like a ghost, and somebody kept whispering in my ear, and telling me what would happen next. So, I figured I'd just use it to help you."

"Aw, how swee," Sniffles began, but Phoenix quickly plucked the tiny porcupine out of the palm of his hand, and dropped her on the tablet.

"Now," He said, "we can get down to the business of fixing this cider incident."

He fished through his pockets for a moment, and realized he was missing something. He looked around and said,

"Pippy? Have you seen my pen, or my notepad? I could have sworn I had them with me,"

He pivoted from his sitting position, and saw that the little white rabbit was sitting, cross-legged and reading something out of a beaten-up notepad.

"Midna giggled, pressing her tiny imp hands up against Link's lupine loins," She read aloud, "as he lowered his immense, feral form down on her. He thought he was taking advantage of her, but she was only using his lust to slake her own."

Phoenix's face turned several shades of red, before he snatched the papers out of her hands.

""ey!" Pippy said, "I was jus' reading some of your fanfiction."

"You can't read that one! I mean," He cleared his throat, obviously flustered, "You shouldn't read that, because it's, um, unfinished! Yes, unfinished."

"But it goes on for six more pages, an" Before Pippy could say anything else, he wrapped an arm around her mouth and pulled her close while he wrote on the tablet, squeezing her just enough so she couldn't break out. Sniffles, who had been watching the whole time, only shook his head in disappointment.

But, in a few moments, Phoenix had finished amending, and he placed the pen back in his pants pocket. The second he finished, in perfect synch with what he had written, a strong breeze blew in from the north, and washed over them with the scent of apples and cinnamon. The wind washed over Flaky, who returned to her normal size, and made Cro-Marmot visible again, and let Disco Bear drop back down from where he was floating, landing hard on his backside. Blade seemed unaffected, but she no doubt had also been cured.

"I still can't believe you're doing that with some sort of superpower," Sniffles remarked.

Phoenix merely shrugged his shoulders, "Hey, you can believe what you want. But isn't this the same Sniffles who was brewing apple cider to fight a bat monster that steals people's bodies?"

"Yes, well," Sniffles said, but he didn't have anything else to say. How could he, after all that? He did, however, after watching Phoenix write for a while, decide that there was still some unanswered questions, "What about you? Where are you going after this is over?"

Phoenix, who was now holding Pippy up (She had given up fighting him and decided to rest in his arms for a bit. Poor thing hadn't any sleep in the longest time), said, as he wrote, "I guess I'll have to find a new hiding place for Pippy. She's too important to keep here."

"Because she's your daughter?"

"Because she's special. Ever heard of alternate universes?"

That was the last thing Phoenix said before focusing in on his writing. Sniffles preferred it that way. If this strange creature could change their very world by writing in a notebook, than he honestly didn't want to know what things his mistakes were capable of.

"This last passage something long?" said Sniffles. He was talking about the tablet, whatever Phoenix was writing was taking some time.

Phoenix looked up from his writing for just a second and said, "It'll be done when it's done."

…

Down at the base of the Pyramid, Meth had borrowed a cigarette from Mae, and was leaning up against the temple's base, beside Ryder.

"So, I suppose we're done here?" said the bear, with a hint of sarcasm.

"I wish," the Hyena said back, "I wish. With our luck these kids are gonna need us to watch over them all summer."

Meth cracked a smile, "Is that really such a bad thing?"

"Feh," Ryder kicked a rock and waited for it to bounce to a stop beside one of the apple trees before he said, "Not as simple as war. War, just kill and keep moving. Kids are a real pain."

"Careful Ryder, keep talking like that and someone will start to think you like them."

Ryder shook his head, but before he could say anything, the trees shook. Something let out a high pitched squeal that vibrated down to their very cores. Ryder trembled for a moment, before his eyes went steely, and he grabbed the rifle off the ground in front of him. Immediately taking aim down the sights, he stared into the trees.

The whole forest was still darkened by the swirling shadows above, he could barely see ten yards into the trees. It was all too tense for what seemed like an eternity. He heard the shifting of metal beside him, he didn't need to look to know that Meth had taken up his gun.

Something tore out of the darkness, and he instinctively fired a shot down the sights at it, only wasting a second to reload. Meth had fired as well, but neither bullet found a mark. The creature, something like the bat they had seen before, twisted in its flight, and then shot upwards, gliding over them. Ryder fired a second shot, but couldn't connect. He cursed his own aim in Russian, and tried to steady a shot on the beast, as it pulled up and circled back down on the temple, landing on the top level, on the altar.

Phoenix was taken by shock when he arrived, on giant wings misplaced on his body. He saw his face through the light of the torches and froze. It was Pop, and something else. The bat. It had taken his body and began to twist it. Perhaps this was the power he'd gained while Phoenix was under his control.

But now, Pop's old self was barely recognizable. His face was elongated, stretched along its jaw to allow for the rows of fangs that had grown in. And his torso had also been stretched so far that his skin looked as though it would snap at any moment, his ribs pulled farther than possible. And two wings had torn their way out of his back, still dripping blood down their thick, leathery span.

Before any of them could react, the bat snatched up Pippy, easily holding her tiny throat in one gnarled hand. It stood on the edge of the altar, holding her out to a fatal fall if he let her slip.

And worst of all, it spoke, spoke with a twisted voice to match its horrible form.

"Write"

It's voice was so contorted, and yet so clear Phoenix would have sworn he could hear it in his mind. His hand trembled, he couldn't react. The bat grew impatient and tightened his grip on Pippy. She squealed, and a pain shot through Phoenix's mind. It spoke again, louder,

"WRITE."

Phoenix, not daring to breathe, could see no other option. He lowered the pen downward, just touching the slate. Someone else spoke up for him, when he couldn't find the words. Someone from behind the bat.

"Excuse me sir," It turned and saw Cro-Marmot, standing fully upright, brushing the long hair from his eyes to show the anger that was in them, "I believe you should let the young miss go."

The bat lashed out at him with one claw, but the Cave Friend proved just a bit more agile than anyone could have expected. He countered, with a punch that could shatter stone, striking the beast in the stomach. It was staggered for a moment, but much to Cro's horror, it was nowhere near defeated.

"Really?" It said, in that horrifying voice, "What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are?"

Cro was too frightened to move, and the bat lashed out again, this time connecting. Cro screamed in pain as a chunk of his flesh was severed in an instant, revealing his bones. He stared at the wound for a moment, but a moment was all he would waste. He let out a primal roar and jumped at the bat, wrestling with it. Punches, screams and slashes could be heard. People were actually cheering for Cro, the campers below were shouting for him. It actually seemed he could defeat it, if only for a second.

But their hope was shattered without a second thought, and the bat threw Cro off his body, and to his death. He plummeted, down the flights of stairs, breaking every bone in his body. Phoenix wanted to scream, and he wasn't the only one.

"CRO!" Someone, it was Mint, she had screamed when she saw him fall. His body tumbled to the bottom, there was no life left in it, and it laid, in a pool of blood, at the temple's steps.

The bat looked to Phoenix, and screamed, "YOU! You did this! She will die for your imputence!"

Phoenix screamed, "NO! No leave her alone!"

The bat pushed away, and flapped its great wings, floating just above them. Pippy, who was in tears, felt the bat reach down to her stomach, and felt it tighten its hand on her throat. She could barely breathe, from his hand, and from her fright.

An explosion, a shot rang out like a screaming valkyrie! A bullet was lodged in the beast's side, disrupting his flight. Ryder smiled proudly, locking the next shell into the chamber. The next shot rang out, striking the sinews that bound its wings. The bullet cleanly severed the wing from its body, and screaming, the bat fell. It hit the ground like a meteor, the sound of snapping bones from the impact letting them know Ryder's attack had hit hard.

But when the dust cleared, through broken bones and blood gushing from wounds, the bat stood. Pippy was still locked in its hand. It screamed so that everyone could hear,

"Idiots, all of you! This girl's life is forfeit, this is all you can hope for when you challenge a god!"

Phoenix reached out to her; his daughter. He couldn't save her and he knew it, his eyes were welling up with tears. Nobody could help her, and even Ryder had to sit by and watch what happened next.

The bat dug into her soft stomach, its nails easily pierced her like an overripe fruit. And then he tore her open, pulling out her entrails like twine in a doll. He pulled her far apart, stretching her organs out as a grisly display for every one of the campers. She didn't scream.

Pippy didn't scream. She only turned her head towards the sky, towards the temple, where her father was. And her eyes, pupil-less, stared up to him.

And through her bloodied mouth, she smiled.

Phoenix, a grown man, fell down and cried. Nobody spoke, all they could hear was the harsh breathing of the bat, and the dripping of the last of Pippy's blood. But she smiled. She knew what was happening, in the instant that death became certain for her, it all became clear.

At first, the light cut through the darkness. Beams of sun like angel wings descended down, piercing the lake of shadows above them. Then, the darkness was torn asunder, and pieces of it rained down on them, dissolving like wisps of smoke. It almost looked like it was snowing, when the angel feathers began to float down. Phoenix looked up to the sky, he recognized these signs, but never believed it would happen.

A beam of light focused in on the bat, who's eyes had changed. The predatory look in the vicious eyes of the bat was now afraid. Pippy kept smiling, she knew this was her reward. The light intensified on them until it became blinding. And then it was gone, and the bat, and Pippy, all traces of them had vanished.

Sniffles couldn't believe what had been going on, and looked to Phoenix.

"Do you know what's happening?" He asked.

Phoenix smiled too, though he couldn't understand why, "I'm not sure yet, but someone's coming to visit us."

"Another Author?"

"No, someone much greater."

A cloud parted in the sky, and Sniffles looked up to see someone descend from the heavens above. It was a figure unlike any he'd seen before. If he believed in angels, this would be the perfect fit. Though certain things were strange about this visitor, like the lampshade that drifted just above their head.

It landed beside Phoenix, and spoke to him in a soothing, if not strangely effeminate voice, "My child, have you finished your work here?"

Phoenix didn't look up at the figure, "Am I speaking to what I believe I am?"

The figure laughed, "Precisely who you think."

"Phoenix," Sniffles interrupted, "Who is this?"

"This," Phoenix said, standing, "is the spirit of fantasy. The guiding light for all Authors. He is the belief of something greater, the idea that you belong somewhere else, the thought that looks beyond established facts and sees something that it could discover."

The spirit chuckled, "You've done your homework, I see."

"I only wonder why you're here." Phoenix asked, "But I suppose it might have something to do with my daughter?"

"Oh yes, Pippy, that adorable little plot bunny," it giggled, "She's been released! That world that she contained, she's become it now. That's one of the reasons I came here."

"She has?" Phoenix was taken back, "She's become something?"

"Yes, I suppose you could visit her when you're finished here. But aside from that, there's something else I wanted to say," The spirit took his hand, "I wanted to apologize. I may have interfered with your story in just the teensiest tiniest bit."

"You were the reason this didn't go right?"

"Yes, I have to admit that it was me. I hoped it would help you, and I think it did. But there's something else I need to apologize for?" And before Phoenix could ask what, the spirit said, "This."

The spirit and Phoenix both began to fade. He immediately realized that he was being called back out of the story. He panicked, and shouted to Sniffles, "Sniffles, you need to know. If my story didn't change too much then Cro-Marmot might make it! He's not wearing a necklace! And tell everyone goodbye!"

And then, the Author, and the Spirit were gone, leaving a very confused Sniffles. But it seemed like nobody else had seen the spirit. Or seen Phoenix disappear. Flaky, who had been standing behind Sniffles, placed a hand on his shoulder and surprised him. Of course, when he yelled, Flaky yelled too, and it took them a moment before Flaky could finally ask what she had wanted to,

"Sniffles, where'd Phoenix go?"

"Oh, he left, to go home. And he said," Sniffles stopped, and he smiled, "Flaky, follow me! I need to check something!"

And he started to run down the temple steps, with Flaky running behind him.

…

Somewhere, out in the woods, Mumbo sat up against a tree clutching his head. That bullet wound in his shoulder was nothing more than a minor inconvenience, and he patched it up quickly with some old elixirs he kept in his coat.

This hadn't been the first time he'd gotten possessed by a wayward spirit, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but it always left him with a splitting headache. So now he was nursing a bottle of tonic he'd kept handy and resting on a fallen tree, when he heard someone coming out from deeper in.

A porcupine dressed up in a park ranger's uniform stepped out from the thicket of trees, brandishing a dart gun. He looked over to Mumbo and shouted,

"It's okay citizen, I am a state ranger! You have nothing to be afraid of!"

Another ranger, a fox, followed from behind, dragging the corpse of an enormous snake, with several darts sticking out of it, "Kurt, do we really need to be carrying this thing around?"

"Yes! It's a sign of my victory! Now help me help this passerby!"

Mumbo groaned, clutching his head, "Oh just shut up!"

…

Epilogue

The following week, camp resumed under the watchful eye of Sniffles, the new head of camp. Cro-Marmot took up Phoenix's job as janitor, enjoying the title very much. Seems like the curse was still in effect for him, much as Phoenix planned, and he was found the next day, snoozing in the infirmary. Nobody knows exactly what happened to Phoenix, Pippy, or the Bat, but Sniffles swore while he was stargazing one night he noticed some new stars. And though he swore it was a trick of his mind, if he connected them, he made out the shape of a head, with two large rabbit ears sticking out of the top.

And on that last week of camp, just when the balmy weather had begun to chill, there was a dance held in the mess hall. A karaoke machine had been set up, and Mae had taken it over, forcing a not entirely unwilling Spades to sing duets with her. And while it wasn't his best idea, Sniffles had decided to leave out the cider for everyone to have a little fun with.

"Okay, c'mon, we'll both down them at the same time," Tyler said, holding a cup of cider. Chunky looked down into his cup, and then looked over to Lammy and Maria who were also holding a cup each. Tyler counted down and on three they each shot back their cups.

Chunky immediately felt sick, and then in a large puff, his fur popped off, leaving him a hairless pink color. Tyler immediately started laughing, but stopped when "he" noticed "His" voice had become much higher, and his bosom had grown considerably. That's when Chunky started laughing.

Maria would have been laughing too, but it would seem the cider had rendered her mute, and Lammy couldn't see anything, considering the drink had caused her wool to grow suddenly, turning her into a giant ball of wool.

Amidst the confusion, singing and mayhem Mumbo and Cro were busy keeping up with the food orders. Mumbo immediately needed more French fries and another order of Pigs in Blankets, and called to Cro, who ran to the pantry. Of course, he didn't get very far, because he was blocked by a giant purple wall of fat. He looked up in horror to see Caramel, who had been hitting up the cider again, snacking on just about everything in the pantry.

She waved, and started to say something, but stopped when her belly began gurgling. Cro didn't waste any time running, and bolted out the front door and when Mumbo noticed what was going on, he only had enough time to yell,

"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"

Hah!

Happy New Year all, and a hell of a year it's been!

Hope nobody minded me throwing in those last two scenarios. I know it was a little goofy, but it helped lighten the mood. And for those of you who were wondering, I kind of imagined the spirit of Fantasy as Hugh Bliss, to explain his feminine voice.

Now go forth my children and review! Flamers will have an extra gassy Caramel sent to their house!