Alice

We made camp within the center of a cluster of dead trees. They were somewhat ominous against the night sky and its moon. It was the best place to rest unless we wanted to lay out in the open space of the Wastelands. And quite frankly, I was much too jumpy to be doing that. I kept thinking an Official would pop up at any moment, even if I did know they were far away from us.

Murucho had scrounged up some materials to make a fire. Now, we were all huddled around the fire, surrounded by our fence of trees. Well, all of us except Shun. He was sitting away from our circle, all by himself and quiet. The only time he spoke was to answer simple 'yes' or 'no' questions, and there hadn't been that many directed at him.

His back was pressed against the trunk of a tree. I didn't like seeing him like this. If I found anyway to bring the Outcasts with us, I would have if it meant helping Shun. He wasn't facing us, but his head was turned to look in the direction of travel we had just come from.

His mind was thinking just like mine; What was going on back there? We had traveled far enough away from Shun's old home, that it was no longer in our view. It was lost miles away from us. Across from me, I heard Julie groan. Or, more like her stomach. I turned to look at her, and she had her hand placed over her abdomen.

She smiled nervously and said, "What? I'm hungry." Next to her, Dan said, "We all are, Julie. None of us have eaten since we left the City." I was a little hungry myself, but not as much as Julie seemed to be. The fire snapped and sent embers flying up into the air.

All that fire, and nothing to cook on it. Dan looked beyond me and said, "Maybe he knows something we can eat since he's lived out here the longest." There was a tint of attitude in Dan's voice, but I didn't think he meant for it to be there. Shun glanced up at him; he didn't face us though.

"There's nothing to eat out here. I promise you." The first words he spoke since leaving the other Outcasts, and the only reason he said them was to answer Dan's question. Their little exchange of words ended there, leaving Shun to go back to his world of solitude.

Murucho was looking around at his surroundings and said, "Maybe we'll get lucky and catch a bird or something." Julie held up her hands and stuck her tongue out. "Ew! I'm not eating some bird from out here!" Dan glanced at her, a sarcastic smile on his face.

"Well, I see who's going to starve first." Julie narrowed her eyes at him, but had no response to his remark. Dan then leaned up and held up his hands, wiggling his fingers like a spider does its legs. "Then we might have something decent to eat when you fall out."

He added in a maniacal, deep laugh. Julie squealed at swatted her hand at him. "Stop it, Dan! That's not funny!" The others were laughing, but all I did was crack a smile. Runo was still laughing, but she stopped when she noticed I wasn't joining in on their fun.

"Hey, what's up, Alice?" she asked. I glanced back at Shun, who had moved around the tree so his back now faced us. Runo mouthed the word, "Ohhh." and nodded her head to show she understood why I wasn't enjoying the fun taking place by the fire.

She left it at that, not pressing the topic any further. As long as Shun was going to be like this, I was going to preoccupied with worry for him. The moon was now at its highest, signaling the late hour of night. The others had fallen asleep; Runo was leaning against Dan, while Julie and Murucho just laid down on the ashy ground.

Julie had about a ten minute tantrum about why she didn't want to sleep on the ash, but sleep shut her up and she lost the battle. The fire was pretty much gone now; only a few little flames lapped at the air as they tried to stay alive. The rest was nothing but brightly burning coals and embers that occasionally popped.

I was still awake, although, sleep was trying to pull me into its grip. I turned around to look at Shun again. At this rate, my neck's going to break. I got up, leaving the fire, and quietly made my way over to Shun. He was still leaned against the tree, arms folded over his chest and eyes shut.

I couldn't tell if he was sleeping, or trying to. I bent over and shook his shoulder lightly. His eyes slowly opened, confirming that he had been asleep. "What?" he asked groggily, and rubbed his eyes. When he removed his hand away from his eyes, I saw that they were a faint color of red and slightly puffy.

How had I not noticed that he had been behind me and crying? I pointed to the fire with my thumb and said, "Why don't you sleep over there so you won't be cold?" It was a huge difference in temperature by the fire compared to the place where Shun was at. It was enough of a drop that it sent a shiver through my body when I crossed the line of the fire's limit. He looked up at me; I had never seen eyes as void of emotion as his were.

"I'm used to the cold. Don't worry about me." He pressed himself back into the dead tree trunk, and closed his eyes as a means to tell me to leave him alone. I wasn't about to give in that easily. So, I sat down next him, leaning against my own part of the tree. Shun had leaned forward and was looking at me like I had gone crazy

. "What are you doing, Alice?" I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Just sitting here." He sighed and turned back around. "I'd kind of like to be alone for a while," he said softly. I know you do, but you shouldn't. I kept my thoughts to myself though, not quite bold enough to speak them yet.

I just wanted him to know that I cared and was there for him; he needed at least that much. He snuck a glance around the tree to see if I had gotten up and left. His face showed aggravation at the fact that I was still sitting there. "Could you please let me be by myself?" he asked from the other side of the black tree.

From his voice, I could hear how badly he wanted me to leave him alone, but I wasn't going to. No matter how much he asked or begged me to go. I was going to stay right at the base of that tree trunk. Shun let out an exasperated sigh from behind me.

"I know you're worried about me, but don't be. I just need some time to myself before we get moving again." I pulled off a piece of the bark from the tree and asked, "Haven't you had enough time to yourself? You've been by yourself all night, and haven't even said a single word. I'm just trying to help and make sure you're fine. And secluding yourself from everybody, isn't good for you when you need somebody there for you."

He pushed himself up and was now standing. I got up as well. We stood facing each other, maybe about an arm's length apart. His eyes were sharp, and the reflection of the dying fire behind me made his eyes light up and mimic the dancing wisps of flame.

"Make sure I'm fine? How could I be fine when my life and all the people I know and loved, are being killed right now? Huh? How can I be fine knowing that and living with myself because I allowed it to happen?" His voice was starting to raise, but it never went above normal speaking level.

Thankfully, none of the others woke up. The last thing I wanted, was for them to watch and listen to our conversation. I was sure Shun didn't want an audience either. He quickly wiped away a couple of tears that had started to run down his face.

I reached out and took his hand in mine and said, "I'm fully aware of what pain you're going through, but you have to stop blaming yourself for what's happening to them. It was their to stay behind so you could have a chance. They made that sacrifice, so don't let it go to waste by taking the blame when there is none."

He remained quiet, but kept his amber eyes locked on me. His eyes showed me that he knew I was right, but he still wanted to blame himself. Was blaming himself a way to cope with the loss of his life? If it was, then it wasn't the way he needed to handle this. Shun took his hand out of mine; I had forgotten I was still holding it.

He stepped back and leaned against the same tree. He then slid down the trunk and sat at the ground, letting out a long, shaky sigh. "How would you deal with it?" he asked me. I sat next to him and said, "I'm not sure how I would deal with something like this. Yeah, I'm still trying to cope with the loss of my Grandfather, and I still find it difficult to think about it. But I'm also trying to find ways to not blame myself for what happened to him. It was out of my power and control. There was nothing I could have done to stop it, even if I knew about if beforehand."

The thought of my grandfather brought a pang to my heart, but it was the only way I could relate to Shun at the moment. He needed somebody to compare to. Somebody who had kind of gone through the loss he was. I may not have been close to all the people in the City, but I still considered them a part of my family, just as I had done the Outcasts when I had gotten to know them.

In a way, I had lost just as much as Shun; my home and everything I ever knew. The only difference was that I wasn't close to a lot of the people in the City. Shun was so attached to all of the other Outcasts, that they were all his family. Shun leaned his head back against the tree and sighed.

"I'm so tired," he said with hardly any air to support his words. He did look exhausted, but I was sure he meant tired of all the stuff going on. It really was a lot to take in and accept. I wondered how I had managed this far, or if I had even been hit by its effects yet. Shun closed his eyes and sighed again.

His breathing started to slow down as sleep gripped his body. My own thoughts were growing murky as I tried to stay awake. I knew I wouldn't be up for much longer, and that if I didn't get some sleep, I would be miserable when we started to continue our traveling in the morning.

Murucho had clearly pointed out our next stop, and it wasn't that far away from where we were camped out at. At least, he didn't think it was. It also kind of depended on if he was reading the map right, which I was sure Murucho was doing. Never should one doubt the genius mind of Murucho.

I was too tired to get up and walk back over to the circle of my sleeping friends, so I scooted myself back over to the tree and leaned my back against the trunk next to Shun. Our arms touched each other, but he didn't seem to notice since he was already asleep.

Not twenty-four hours ago, we were back in the City and our kiss ruined by the arrival of the Officials. I thought about how much better it was than the one I gave him while he was unconscious after I got him out of the jail. Did he even know about that kiss? I laid my head against his shoulder.

He moved a little, but didn't wake. I shut my eyes and allowed sleep to take me under its blissful hold. Out of all the people on the planet, who would have thought I would have fallen for an Outcast?

chapter title based off the song Temporary Bliss by The Cab. here ye, here ye! (or however it goes) i hereby decree that there will be no uploads on the days of Thursday and Friday, and possibly the day of Saturday. for i shall be gone to a clinic of jazz. (i have no clue what is up with the Old English, i swear o.o'') well, why i go and see why my brain is having me type in an ancient language, read, review, and other things! ~Copperpelt~