LEARNING FRENCH
AnniKay

Sam/Mercedes/Puck
Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Murphy, Falchuk, and Brennen along with Fox and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to the,
(As you can tell because they made the silly decision to not make Chord a permanent part of the cast)

THANKS to everyone who has taken the time to review. Your encouragement helps more than you know. Take a moment and let me know what you enjoyed most about the update.

Chapter 25
Sam Point of View

"In your face, puta, in your fucking face." Santana crowed as we got to the girls room. "I should slit your throat with a hang nail just for being un cuno. We didn't just make the top ten without your sorry ass, we made the muthafucking top three." She threw her head back and laughed, a taunting sound that kind of made my balls want to go hide. "Stupid perra…did everything your weak little mind could come up with to sabotage us…but we don't need you. You can besame el culo."

Rachel was in a chair as far across the room as she could get from Santana. She looked shocked and as though she could not fathom this turn of events. Fortunately she has, so far, had the presence of mind to stay silent. Because if she fixes her mouth to say anything that downplays Mercedes in any way, shape, form or fashion…I really will choke her ass like my name is Madea. Man I have to stop letting Mercy pick the movies.

"Top Three, Top Three, La la la laaa La." Brittany and Quinn sang as they danced around the room. Kurt was just lying across one bed, looking for all the world like a starfish. "I'm the number two ranked male high school vocalist in the country. Oh my GaGa." He kept repeating over and over.

I'm sure that Mercy would be in a similar state, except right this moment she was seated on Puck's lap with his hand half way up her thigh having her breath kissed away. In a few minutes I'd have another turn at her sweet sexy mouth. God I love kissing her lips, they are so full and warm and soft. But I digress. Bubbie Ruth was over 'joking' with Finn and Lauren. To be honest what she was really doing seemed to be a cross between flirting and matchmaking. She shared her theory on the Lauren situation, "Back in the eighties I was friends with a big girl like that. She just couldn't get hot for anyone shorter than her. My guess is that was her problem with my Bubbela. Finn has her by a good two inches. Plus he's a little tubby himself. Makes her less self-conscious. Probably he'll work better for her."

Bubbie Ruth seems like she would be wise in the ways of the sexual force…so I'm gonna trust her on this one. Besides whatever she seems to be doing sure looks like it's working. Bubbie Ruth also seems to have taken a noted liking to Mr. Schue. So much so that I'm starting to think that Mr. Schue might just end up getting lucky tonight. Puck finally came up for air, so I pulled Mercy to her feet, letting her stay standing over him to allow him to keep some form of coverage over that raging boner I know he has. I envelop her into a deeply passionate kiss.

"Alright Sam. Let the girl catch her breath. I know you're proud of her, but we all are. Now everybody go and get changed. I want all of you to bring Sexy Back. Go get all dolled up. I'm taking you to a great little place near hear…good food, great music, and they have a stage. I'd say making the top three deserves some kind of celebration." Bubbie Ruth laughed. "Bring the saboteur. We cannot risk leaving her alone." She said this last in a bad Russian spy accent. I think I like this lady.

"Oh hells yeah." Santana shouted. "Kurt, I'm leaving you and Quinn to make sure she doesn't embarrass us. Dress the bitcha yourselves if you have to."

We took Bubbie Ruth up to our room with us. Of course Puck and I got kicked out of our room pretty quickly. They were kind enough to let us shower in there, but very quickly there after we were relegated to the living room of the suite. I was dressed for the evening in a pair of black slacks and a white shirt. No tie, thankfully. Puck was in pretty much the same, except he chose to don a black shirt.

"Our girlfriend has the very best voice of any high school female in the entire country." I said quietly. My voice filled with pride. I was almost puffed up with it.

"I know and we have a man offering the three of us a recording contract. A future. I'm not gonna be a Lima Loser forever." Puck returned joyously.

I punched him in the shoulder. "You are not now, nor have you ever been, a loser. A sex shark, a jock…maybe you were a bit of a loser when you were slushing kids. But still not a real loser. I mean if one of us is a loser…it's me. I mean my whole family lives in one room at a rinky dink no tell motel. I'm dyslexic…I mean come on…I speak Na'vi and I dream of going to every comic convention in the continental United States, and"

"And nothing. You're mine and 'Cedes' and it we rock then so do you. So what if you have trouble reading. You always get there eventually. And besides at least you have an excuse. Azimio didn't learn to read until he realized he needed to know how to figure out how to unblock the porn channels on his parents' Direct TV. Besides you work harder than anybody else I know. So don't be calling yourself a loser." He growled.

Then he pulled me to him and started to kiss me. Instead of his usual oral seduction, he seemed to be trying to pour all his affection for me into this one long kiss. He was burning me apart and remaking me into something stronger…something more. His hands came up and buried themselves in my hair. When the girls came out, he had me flat on my back on the couch; he pulled my shirt from my pants and was teasing the slightly ticklish ridges of my abs.

"Good Lord, I know Noah's my grandbaby…but that's just too damn hot. I needs to find me a toy boy for the night." Bubbie Ruth's voice crashed over us like a bucket of cold water. Ok it had that effect on Puck. If anything that voice of hers made my predicament even worse. Hell she ain't my actual grandmother. We froze in place, only barely breaking apart.

"Holy Damn…why do I never have a camcorder when I need one." Santana grumbled.

"We could make a killing if we had a webcam right now." Lauren agreed.

Bubbie just chuckled. "Wait for it girls, bet you we'll get an even bigger reaction in a minute. They haven't even seen their Hot Chocolate Sex Kitten yet."

Puck and I scrambled to our feet. I may have been letting him influence me a bit more than I thought, because I didn't even try to grab a pillow to hold in front of me. My eyes just about fell out of my head. Mercy stood there in the tightest jeans I've ever seen her in before. She'd paired those with those sexy ass shoes she'd worn last night. Her top was purple and GD I have never been so jealous of a shirt in my life. It was tight and like wrinkly, foldy all across her middle, but the fabric over her breasts and arms was smooth and straight. What there was of it. The neckline was a deep, wrap like V, and the sleeves had slits from the sexy o rings holding front and back together at the shoulder, down to the elbows. And from the elbows to the back of her hands was kind of like the part wrapped around her waist. I think I was actually drooling. She was wearing her 'Say My Name' necklace as I tend to think of the gold necklace with her name across it. Her hair was back and up and she was showing off the N&S hickey that Puck had created on her neck the night before. Her face looked like they hadn't bothered her too much with their goop and powders, but her lips were once again coated in that berry shimmer gloss of hers. Yeah I need that stuff on my dick. Like now.

Puck looked at his grandmother and said calmly. "You take the rest of the kiddies out. 'Cedes, Sam and I are gonna do our own celebrating right here." I love how good he's getting at reading my mind.

"Nope. Your Uncle Saul already texted to tell me he was waiting on us down stairs. We're all going. Come on. You know how much you love Italian…there's a great little place near here. Dance floor and Stage…its perfect. Think about it your crazy little friend is gonna have to get on that stage just to try to prove she's as good as your Chocolate Mama. You don't want to miss that." Bubbie Ruth said authoritatively.

She dragged us out of the room Santana, Brittany and Lauren were following with Mercedes. The four of them were discussing something a little too low for me to make it out. "Puck, Sam…did you really say that I could taste Mercedes' Hershey kisses. Because Santana said that you did but 'Cede said you were just joking. And Bubbie Ruth said that she loved Hershey kisses, but I don't think we were talking about the same thing."

"Trust me Brittany baby; we were talking about the same thing." Bubbie said with a seductive laugh.

"Sorry Britt-Brat. But if we let you taste her Hershey kisses, I don't think she will let US taste them ever again." Puck explained.

"Besides Brit-she only has two, that's just enough for me and Puck." I said gently.

"Good answer." Mercy hissed. She was so flushed with embarrassment; her cheeks were giving off heat.

In the lobby we met Puck's uncle Saul Mayzer. He was much like his mother and nephew, same super dark brown hair. Tall and lean like Puck and Bubbie Ruth…but where they seemed to have 'movie star' good looks, Saul looked. Well stereotypically Jewish. His eyes were darker and larger. His nose was bigger. His face and lips thinner, so it didn't balance out. But he had one hell of a sense of humor. He kept us laughing the whole way to the restaurant.

Bubbie Ruth's little Italian place was only two blocks past Amour la Vie. It was very trendy looking, with black and white decor as opposed to the expected red, white and green of the Italian flag. Saul had called earlier so they were ready for us. They had pulled a large table up against a rather large booth. Puck and I bracketed Mercedes and slid into the booth. Finn slid in from the other side and Lauren moved into place beside him. Brittany and Santana took up the rest of the space in the booth. Kurt sat next to me. He was the first chair at the table on this side. Of course he claimed it so that he and Mercy could converse over me. Kurt was dressed to the nines. To be honest he fit in better here than he ever had back in Lima. New York was his city. In fact we all broke down into three categories. Those who looked NYC. That group was comprised of Mercy and Kurt, Santana and Brittany and Tina. Then you had those who looked way too Midwest. That group was made up of Finn, Quinn, Mr. Schuester, and surprisingly enough Rachel. She looked over done and like she was trying too hard. She looked like she was dressed for the Four Seasons, not Les Italians. Then there were the rest of us. The Comfy casual…I just don't give a fuck group. Mike, Lauren, Artie, Puck and I.

Though to be honest, Lauren was very close to joining her temporary roommates in the fit in category. Santana and Brittany had managed to convince her to don a pair of wide leg black dress pants that looked nice. They had her in a black top that, to be honest, I'm surprised she owns. It wasn't figure hugging like Mercy's but it looked ok, and Finn kept shooting glances over at her. They had also attacked her with all the goop and stuff they'd left off of Mercedes. At least I think Bubbie Ruth had. She was wearing some red lipstick that Finn was looking at when he wasn't glancing at her cleavage.

Dinner was really good. Rather than individual orders they had brought out four entrees, and salad and bread stick. Someone must have put their suggestions in for the entrees, because it was the lighter sauces, and none of the heavy cream sauces. There were enough choices that even Rachel was able to be satisfied despite her extremely restrictive diet. I really don't have a problem with veganism, it just seems really restrictive. Would it be so bad to eat eggs and dairy, things that don't cause harm to the animal to harvest? Anyway, after dinner we were able to dance and sing and have a great time. Of course Rachel proved Bubbie Ruth correct and challenged Mercedes to a diva off.

"The consumers and wait staff can be our impartial jury. After all they have experienced the gastrointestinal delights, while they decide between the many wonderful desert choices, we shall serenade them. We can even sing the same songs we performed for the Solo contest that Mr. Schuester never released his findings for." Rachel taunted.

"Fine Rachel. But I want something from you. If I win, I want you to get on the announcements Tuesday morning and admit to the entire school the events you've tried to arrange this weekend. Including the fact that I beat you at every turn." Mercedes said with a wicked smile on her face. "You also have to talk to your dads about your behavior. Cause girl you need counseling."

"Fine but when I win, you have to get on the announcements and tell the whole school that I am the better singer. And next year, you have to sit out of the solo competitions." Rachel retorted.

"Fine it's a bet." Mercedes growled. She downed her water and she and Rachel headed to the stage.

Uncle Saul stood on the stage and introduced the contest. "We have two young women tonight who would like it if those assembled here would help them settle a point of contention as to who is the better singer."

Rachel stood and recreated her performance of My Man for the crowd. Then Mercedes takes the stage. And her version of Try a Little Tenderness sent ripples of absolute pleasure up and down my spine. Puck leaned over and asked. "Is it wrong that I get a hard on every time she really sings something?"

"Right there with you, man, Right there with you." I assured him. "I think Artie does too." We shared a chuckle.

Uncle Saul took the mike back and had Rachel stand side by side. "Alright those why enjoyed Rachel's performance better, signify with your applause." There was a smattering of polite applause. Like one person at each table had clapped so she wouldn't feel too bad. "Now those of you who preferred the vocal stylings of Mercedes." The applause filled the restaurant. Hell the chef had come out half way through Mercy's first verse, like he couldn't help himself. "Well the audience has spoken. Mercedes is our winner."

Rachel ran back to the table in tears. She was smart enough to sit crying and not try to storm off into the night like she would have if we'd been in Lima. We settled the check. Though as I went to reach for my wallet, Puck grabbed my hand and shook his head. The smile he gave me inflamed me and worried me at the same time. But I was actually starting to get used to that feeling. I'm sure that there are people who would find this game degrading, but maybe its cause I'm a guy, it's kind of hot to me.

Puck Point of View

After the contest dinner was pretty much done. Most of us didn't even want to look at Rachel right now. So when we got back to the hotel and she immediately went upstairs, we just let her go. Everyone stayed down stairs. Uncle Saul and I took an opportunity to talk for real. I found out later he'd pulled me aside because Bubbie wanted to talk to Quinn…but still. The first thought I had just came out of my mouth. "Man, Uncle Saul…thanks for taking us all out tonight but please if we do this again next year, remind me not let Santana and Bubbie Ruth sit anywhere near each other. I'm just glad I couldn't hear what they were whispering over there. It probably would have scarred me for life."

"Yeah well I could hear it…and trust me…I'm scarred. I don't know who they harassed more that poor waiter, or your friend Rachel." Uncle Saul said with a laugh. "I'm glad that you guys had fun. I'm proud of you, Noah."

"Man Uncle Sauly you haven't called me Noah in years." I laughed.

"Yeah, cause you haven't behaved like Noah in a long time…not really. You'd bought into your own hype so much that you were Puck. But tonight I saw Noah shining out again." Saul said honestly.

"If so, it's all Sam and Mercedes…so what do you think of them?" I asked with a small smile.

"I think if one of us had to inherit your Bubbie's sexuality, I'm glad it was you, not me. I like your boyfriend. He's got that whole 'slow southern style' thing going for him. He's polite and according to Mom he's quite a hottie. And your girlfriend…now she's a cutey. And those pipes. Damn girly can sing. You might get that love of black women from me…" Uncle Saul thought for a minute. "Actually we probably both get it from Mom…she's like the freaking Reading Rainbow of dating. Since Pop died, almost all her boyfriends have been black…though I think she's seeing an Indian lady lately. I'm glad you found them, if they can make you reconnect with your softer side. But you kids be careful…I know you too well to preach at you; but I'm too young to be Great Uncle Saul."

"We are very careful. Mr. Mayzer." Sam and Mercedes reassured him as they joined us. They thanked him for taking us out as well.

He took his leave soon after that. Bubbie came over and talked to us. she accompanied us up to our room on fourteen. "Ok. So I had a chat with your baby momma, and that poor child has issues. All three of you need to sit down with her when you get home. You need to get her the hell out of that house too. Her daddy is fucking toxic. Anyway, I'm gonna come back tomorrow and cheer you guys on. Then Kurtie and I are taking Lauren to Neiman's they have a fabulous selection for plus sized women. And the best for the tall plus sized women. Now 'Cede I want you to promise that you will wait until we get back to get your hands on Rachel. I want to be here to tape the whole thing." She laughed. "Dear lord…that child needs to get laid in the worst way." She told us.

She said her goodbyes to Lauren, Santana and Brittany, and left us alone. "You know. Part of me wonders if Bubbie Ruth isn't right. I mean maybe if Rachel would at least try some self-gratification…maybe she wouldn't be so nuts." Sam said cautiously.

"No Trouty…there are some things even orgasm's can't fix. She needs a come to Jesus, or in her case Jehovah, moment. She needs to see the real consequences of her behavior." Santana chuckled. "Night you guys…no screaming Wheezy…we want your throat in optimal condition tomorrow."

We managed to say polite goodnights to everyone, despite wanting to thump Santana, before we moved into our bedroom. Damn that sounds good 'our bedroom' even if it's only temporary, I really like how that sounds. As soon as we closed, and locked the door, I started kissing Mercedes. "God Babygirl, we are so fucking proud of you." I groaned against her lips.

Sam laughed. "He's right. You were amazing. You were so sexy and beautiful up there during your solo this morning, and even more so tonight at the restaurant." He said licking and kissing her neck and helping me unbutton her jeans. We had sandwiched between us. I'd striped her of that sexy shirt of hers and tossed it over a nearby chair when there was a loud and incessant knocking coming from the outer door.

puta, = whore

un cuno. = Cunt

Perra= Bitch

besame el culo.= Kiss my ass.

Reviews show appreciation better than anything but cash. However since I don't own any of the rights to any one but Bubbie Ruth and Uncle Saul, I'll happily just take tons and tons of reviews.

By the way...if You all can get above 230 I'll make sure to give you some Finn/Lauren naughtiness next chapter.