Year 667

Videl entered her room, dusting her hands in a vain attempt to clean them. Today had been a long one. Her father had sent in a new shipment of traps and she had been putting them in place all day. Were there anyone that could actually see her, they would've definitely noticed the dirt that covered the bottom of her dress from the knees down. It was a look unbecoming of a princess such as herself, but those traps weren't going to set themselves now.

Now if only they could keep out that one pesky visitor she always got.

She wasn't sure why, but this blonde girl had been showing up in her castle, always wanting to talk and do slumber parties. So far, Videl had yet to relent in her stance that she was not going to associate with anyone from outside her stone walls. Unfortunately, the girl had proven most persistent in the matter.

But now, those new traps should definitely keep her out. Finally, peace and quiet would be hers at—

"Hey Videl!" that oh so familiar voice greeted from her doorway.

Whipping around, Videl resisted the urge to rub her eyes just to make sure she wasn't seeing things. How…why…what was that girl doing here? There was no way she should've been in here! She had made sure of that with all those backbreaking hours!

All of her hard work was ruined!

"Erasa, can you not read?" the dark-haired girl asked. Before she got a response though, she said "There are signs out there that say for people to stay away. That includes everyone other than me."

Her venomous tone didn't seem to affect the blonde at all as that same cheerful expression stayed fixed to her face. "Silly Videl, those signs say for people who want to deflower you to stay out. Since I don't want to do that, they don't mean anything to me." With that said, the blonde sat on Videl's bed, lounging on it as if she owned it. "Mmmm, this is so soft," the girl practically moaned.

"Well it is my bed," Videl muttered, once again her words having letting impact on the blonde, though that was perhaps because she didn't hear them.

"You know, I would visit more if it wasn't for that dragon of yours," Erasa continued. "I mean, who keeps a dragon for a pet? Honestly." Looking around conspiratorially, she then whispered "I get the feeling he doesn't like me."

It looked like Videl was going to be taking real good care of Icarus, along with some extra treats. Perhaps she could persuade the dragon to be her Erasa-repellant. Unfortunately, Videl knew Icarus was too playful for such things. In fact, it was that playfulness that drove Erasa nuts. Either that or it was the fact he was a dragon. She wasn't quite too sure which one it was really.

But she wasn't going to tell the blonde that. Let her keep thinking her thoughts. "Well, I can't help the way he feels. Besides, he makes a very good guard dragon."

"But isn't that a job for a dog? I mean, they're made for that sort of thing."

"Can a normal guard dog breathe fire?"

"Nooo, duh. Everyone knows they can't."

It seemed her point just flew over the girl's head. That was okay though, she hadn't expected the blonde to catch it in the first place. /sigh/ why couldn't she have a normal neighbor? One that minded their own business and kept out of her castle?

Was that too much to ask for?

With the future predicting script behind them—way, way behind them—the trio had made their way to the next village on their everlasting quest of finding and surgically attaching Erasa to one of them. That blonde had left them in the dust one too many times and it was getting very old. But at least she wasn't too hard to follow; she had this habit of leaving breadcrumbs behind her.

If you could call several people rendered helpless by crossbow bolts breadcrumbs that is.

So now the village the three found themselves followed another of Erasa's scenes of mayhem. For some reason though, the three got the feeling that every village was a very close copy of every village they had been too by now, though this village had a larger building that stood higher than the other buildings near its center. One could almost call it a mansion if it hadn't looked to be abandoned. Yet none of that mattered for a very obvious reason.

"Where in the hell are their stores?" Videl muttered as she marched through the streets with purpose. Oh yes, the princess' everlasting question of finding some clothes less provocative than the ones she had on. At this point, anything would do, even a toga made from a bed sheet that had water thrown on it. And yes, that was a white bed sheet.

Take a moment to enjoy that image.

Following the determined princess were Gohan and Sharpner obviously, strolling as they settled into the familiar routine. Sharpner even had his arms raised, his fingers entwining together and his head resting in his palms. So relaxed was he that he didn't bother stopping as he bumped into something, grunting his displeasure but nothing more.

"Hey nimrod! Watch where you're going!" a voice shouted at him.

Turning to look behind him, the blond found a young peasant boy, dressed in what was best described as a burlap sack with holes cut into it for his arms and head to stick out of. He had a pinkish tint to his skin and a very small crop of spiky white hair on his head. A very peculiar look, but one that made Sharpner sneer.

"You watch where you're going," he shot back lazily. "You're so short, it's no wonder you ran into me."

"What d'ya say?" the boy shouted as he stormed over to Sharpner, the people around looking at the growing altercation. A small distance behind the blond, Gohan had stopped and looked to see what the commotion was, Videl doing the same thing only much further away.

"You heard me Short Round," Sharpner said cockily. "Now run along before I accidently step on you. I wouldn't want to get my boots bloody."

"I'll show you short!" the boy yelled as he threw a fist at Sharpner. For once, the blond wasn't outclassed by his opponent and dodged the fist, slipping around the kid and getting him into a headlock. Struggling, the kid tried his best to get free, trying everything from squirming in his sack-like shirt to kicking his bare legs, the bottom of his shody sandles slapping against the bottom of his feet. Alas, it proved utterly useless as the blond held firm, laughing all the while.

"Don't strain yourself Shorty! It's not everyday you run into a higher being such as myself! You might hurt yourself if you keep going!" was Sharpner's taunt. And it caused the opposite of the young man's warning as the little kid began moving more erratic to throw him off.

"Uhh, Sharpner? You might want to stop that," Gohan warned uneasily. All around them, the villagers had begun gather around the skirmish and none of them looked pleased. It also didn't help that Sharpner kept mentioning a rather sore subject whenever he spoke—all of them being vertically challenged after all. It should also be noted that while many of them had very different appearances than what either the three had encountered in their travels. Skin tones of light pink, purple, yellow, and blue mingled around them, different hairstyles of white hair pointing out the lack of different pigments. It was really becoming unnerving here.

"Why should I?" Sharpner replied, still enjoying himself. "It's my duty as a hero to teach young people a lesson."

"Sharpner, just let the kid go," Videl said, appearing at Gohan's side with an unimpressed look on her face. "This is starting to look silly."

The blond made a show of considering the princess' words before deciding to just brush them off. "What are you worried about? This'll help put some hair on this kid's chest and believe me, with all this baldness on his head, he could use some more hair."

An instant later, all three of them felt their bodies freeze, though not on their own volition. The kid stopped his struggling when he realized what was going on, then calmly slipped his head out of the lock. Moving around Sharpner, he stood in front of him, looking the blond in the eye. Then with a look of spite, the kid kneed the blond in the groin, causing Sharpner to make a pained squeak, his eyes rolling up into his head as tears began leaking out.

"I believe that is quite enough," a smooth, somber voice said. Gohan and Videl moved their eyes to see a short man of light purple skin, spiky white hair styled into a Mohawk, and rich-looking clothes. "We do not tolerate violence in this village," the man continued as his dark eyes took in the three. "Now we shall have to punish you with more violence."

…what?

"When I get my hands on that little brat, I'm gonna break every bone in his body!" Sharpner declared in a very high-pitched voice. Gohan just sighed at the remark, but didn't say much more than that.

It hadn't been long for the three of them to be ushered into a cage similar to the one Gohan had been in when he first met Sharpner. The only difference was this one was much larger in space and height. Though he regretted the fact that being in a cage didn't affect him as it once would, the young man had waited patiently for what ever was to happen. Unfortunately, though the cage was taller, Gohan couldn't stand in it, opting to just sit down. Sharpner wasn't too far away either as he lied on his side, rolling from one side of his body to another as his hands held his crotch.

Videl was the only one standing at the moment, mostly because she was the only one who could stand straight without so much as bending her head. Her bunny ears bent slightly against the cage ceiling, but other than that, she was a perfect fit for the cage. With her arms crossed over her chest and a large vein pulsing on her forehead, the princess didn't look very pleased at their predicament. "How long are they going to make us wait in here?" the girl grumbled loudly. "They better let us out soon."

Fortunately, Gohan didn't have to come up with some answer that would most likely piss the girl off even more than she was. Some activity amongst the villagers began somewhere behind him, causing the two dark-haired youths to look in that direction—Sharpner was too busy holding himself to care. From what they could see, there were three people heading their way, all of which they couldn't distinguish due to the crowd concealing them. It wasn't until the three stood in front of their prison that they could see them. Off to the left was the man that had captured them, a neutral expression on his face. The man to the right looked almost like him, except he wore a monocle in front of one of his eyes and his head was nearly bald except for curly hair that covered the sides of his head. However, it was the man in the middle and standing in front of them that drew all the attention. He wore identical clothes to the man on the left, had the same skin tone, but looked more as if he had lived since the creation of dirt. A small stock of hair sprouted from the top of his head, which was the only part not covered in wrinkles. "So these are our troublemakers?" the old man stated in a typical elderly voice. "I must say, they do not look like much."

"These are indeed them," the man on the left said. "They were picking on one of the villagers and I had them arrested."

"Is that so? Then I suppose we need to teach them a lesson, do we not?"

"Umm…sirs?" Gohan spoke up, bringing their attention to him. "If I may say a few words, I believe we can—"

"Oh look, it talks," the old man said. "I thought you had frozen them Lord Shin."

"I removed the spell once they were locked in here, Lord Kai," Shin replied.

"Then I suppose we shall hear it out. It is not often outsiders speak with us," the elder man said. Turning back to Gohan, the man said "Speak up and make it brief. I have a court jester I need to throw rotten fruit at."

Gohan nodded his head quickly. "We didn't mean to cause a ruckus. We've been on the road for quite awhile and when my companion here bumped into your citizen, he lost his better senses."

"What senses," Videl muttered.

"Uhh…we apologize for the scuffle and it would be gracious of you to allow us to leave."

The three lords looked at the young man for quite some time. "He doesn't get out much, does he?" Lord Kai said, looking to his fellow lords.

"Milord, your speech," Shin mentioned to him. "You used a peasant contraction."

"So? I'm old! It gets tiring trying to speak in perfect grammar like all of you. For once, I think the peasants actually came up with something useful, so if I want to talk like one, you bloody hell will let me!"

"Yes Lord," Shin replied quickly, bowing his head apologetically. "I did not mean to offend."

"Of course you didn't. Now, back to you," Lord Kai said as he turned back to Gohan. "Why should we let you go when you've wronged one of our citizens? Surely you need to be punished for that trespass."

"But sir—"

The old man frowned. "I am not a 'sir.' I am Lord Kai, head of the Kai House and I deserve to be addressed as a man worthy of my station."

Gohan blinked his eyes. "Kai House? Are you a minor house or something?"

Immediately, Videl hit him on the back of his head, causing him to yelp as he grabbed his head. "You idiot, don't mention that!" she hissed at him, though unfortunately the damage had been done. Lord Kai and his subordinates looked as if they had been insulted, spit upon, and challenged to a duel for their honor after being slapped with a metal glove.

"I'll have you know, the Kai House was the most powerful house in the world!" Lord Kai shouted indignantly. "Why, if it weren't for those upstart houses that made that stupid little Head House of theirs, it would be us at the top!"

Unfortunately, Gohan didn't seem to learn his lesson as he asked another legitimate, yet sore question. "But if you were the head house, then why are you not in control? Did your predecessors do something wrong?"

This time, the Lord Kai's subordinates began glaring at the back of their lord's head as the elderly man cringed. When the old man didn't answer, Shin picked up the slack for him with an annoyed tone in his voice. "He traded away the power away for pictures."

"What sort of pictures?"

"That's none of your business!" Lord Kai shouted, though the people around him began looking at him with less than friendly looks. "It's all in the past and that's where it'll stay!"

Gohan then frowned, despite the increasing amount of pain he was feeling at the back of his head. Every time he had asked a question, Videl would hit him to try to shut him up. Obviously her method wasn't working. "I don't understand. You talk as if you were the one to make the deal, even though that happened centuries ago."

A collective sigh echoed from everyone around the cage. "Every time we have a visitor, they always ask that question," Shin grumbled. "The people of Kai live much longer than the people of other lands," he then answered Gohan, who wasn't smarting from another hit to the head. Apparently, Videl was interested enough in the question not to reprimand him. "So most of us have lived since beyond the time of the Four Higher Houses."

"Of course none of you would know of it," Lord Kai spoke. "It seems those other houses want no knowledge of our existence to get out. Why if it were the good old days, we would have shown them a thing or two about our power!" In support, the crowd began saying similar agreeing statements.

"So why don't you speak out?" Gohan asked again.

"Why else? We don't have enough power! If we did, there is no doubt we cream everyone that stood in our way!"

"So why don't you get more power?"

Everyone paused for a moment, all of them considering the obvious statement. Why hadn't they done that already? "Well, you see…I…"Lord Kai fumbled about. "Ehh, wait, I know! Because we don't have the necessary weapon to help us do so! You see, we have a legend of a powerful sword known as the Zeta Sword. The sword was said to make its wielder invincible, undefeatable even. As far as we know, it lies somewhere out in the mountains you see in the distance." At this, Gohan and Videl looked towards the mountain range the old kai pointed towards. "We've sent countless young men to retrieve it but all of them failed to do so. It is beyond our reach as it were."

As the old kai regaled his tale, Shin looked at the three travelers as brain activity occurred in his head. "If I may be so bold, Lord Kai, why do we not try sending these three for the sword? If they can retrieve it for us, it would surely strengthen us."

Lord Kai looked to him skeptically. "And if they fail?"

"Then they shall be punished. Failure is not an option for them."

"But you've failed—" Gohan started before he was quickly interrupted by the two kais.

"Alright outsiders! We have a deal for you. If you retrieve the Zeta Sword, we will release you from your prison. If not, you shall suffer horrible consequences! Do you accept?" Lord Kai announced loudly, causing the crowd to focus even more on the three prisoners.

Looking at each other—Sharpner included this time—the three shrugged their shoulders and looked at the kais. "Alright, we'll go fetch the sword as long as you keep your word," Videl answered.

Nodding their heads in approval, the one kai lord yet to speak approached the cage and unlocked the door, opening it as its metal hinges squealed shrilly. Gohan climbed out first, assisting Videl as she exited next. However, the cage door was immediately slammed shut before Sharpner could get out, surprising the three.

"Do not take us for fools," the elder kai spoke merrily. "We are very aware that you could just make a run for it once we released you. So consider the holding of your friend as incentive to make sure you succeed in the quest we have given you." As the kai soaked in the shocked expressions on the three's faces, his old eyes soon noticed a very important detail—namely Videl in her very provocative clothing.

Before anyone moved, the old kai was pressing his frail body against the princess' side, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders. "Wow wee! Baby, where have you been all of my life?" he exclaimed in her ear, much to the astonishment of Gohan and the embarrassment of Shin and the other kai lord. "Tell you what, if you and me meet in private tonight, I'll let you and your tagalongs free by morning! So what do you say?"

"Lord Kai, you are embarrassing us," Shin reprimanded. Unfortunately, his words seem to be useless as the old kai pretended to have hearing trouble. After all, he was old.

"Umm, didn't he notice Videl when she was in the cage?" Gohan asked Shin as he leaned to him.

In response, Shin nodded his head. "He should have, but I guess he did not. I am not sure why that is since he boasts that he has the eyes of an eagle."

"There's a very excellent explanation for this discrepancy," the old kai said from between the two, causing both of them to jump with fright. Since when had he pried himself from Videl's side and appear there? "Now, come closer and I'll tell you," he said in a very low voice. In response, both men leaned closer to him to hear him better. With a small grin, he then bellowed at the top of his lungs "I'M NEARSIGHTED YOU DOLTS!"

In another instant, Lord Kai was back against Videl, his aged hands attempting to caress her body. "Now where were we, my dear? Oh yes, we were talking about our date. So, are we meeting at your place or mine?"

By this point, Videl had several large veins pulsing on her face, her faced contorted into an expression of rage, her eyes closed shut. Casually, she lifted one of her hands and grabbed onto the old lecher's hand and applied pressure—pressure that had the affect of crushing the old man's hand. As Lord Kai began struggling to free himself from the princess' death grip, howling in pain all the while, Videl cocked back her other fist and then slammed it into his wrinkled face. The result was the old kai flying into the nearest building and causing it to collapse on itself, a large cloud of dust and splinters flying high into the air.

"Gohan, we're going," Videl growled as she began stomping her way away from the cage, the crowd splitting apart in front of her.

"I believe it is best that you do as she says," Shin spoke after a few moments. "I would not like to be the one that she takes her anger out on next."

Nodding his head, Gohan gave Shin an apologetic look before hurrying after the princess.

Which just left Sharpner still in the cage and not liking it one bit. "Hey! Don't leave me like this! You have to come back and get me out! Can you hear me? I don't think I can last too long like this! Oh the inhumanity! Someone! FEED ME!"

For those of you unfamiliar with the manga, the Zeta Sword is the Z Sword, though it is the latter that is used in the anime. I figured Zeta sounded a lot better for a story like this than Z.

To I'm a person: And that went according to the script.

To nameless reviewer: Thanks! And there's still more to come.

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.