A/N: OMG thank you guys for the awesome reception of that last chapter! I was so excited that I quickly wrote this one to give y'all! Hopefully there aren't too many typos or bad grammar or stuff. I'm being sneaky sneaky on my work computer and need to be quick about posting this! I may go back and edit it again later. ANYHOO! Enjoy and please let me know what you think!
P.S.: This chapter was inspired by the song "Liminality" by Yuki Kajiura. Give it a listen! So good.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
This chapter was edited by my beta and reposted on 7/10/2018.
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Chapter Twenty-Four: Liminality
Totosai overestimated the contents of his wardrobe and the ease with which his clothes would translate into being worn by a woman. It wasn't all traditional Japanese haori, yukata, and whatnot, most of his closet was actually comprised of modern suits and casual wear, but none of it jumped out as something suitable for Kagome to wear. Standing in the walk-in closet with racks and dressers full of clothes on either side, Totosai and Kagome struggled to find something that she would feel comfortable wearing. It wasn't until Kagome peeked into one of the bottom drawers that she found something agreeable. The familiar red fabric instantly brought a smile to the girl's youthful face. Totosai watched her bring the fire-rat haori to her chest in a gentle embrace as she shut her eyes, allowing a fond memory to replay in her mind.
He gave her privacy to change and went to his bedside table to check his phone for any news updates or urgent messages. The Shikon No Tama's reemergence had to be what triggered everyone's sudden change in behavior, he was certain of that. As Totosai scrolled through his notifications, of which there were plenty, he heaved a rueful moan at the headache the situation would become. How would the modern world perceive Kagome's return? He was already preemptively calculating what needed to be done to keep her safe from the many Youkai and Ningen who might act irrationally after discovering the Shikon No Tama's existence. It didn't require an expert to know that the jewel was a source of great and unprecedented power, and there would soon be many fighting to obtain it and Kagome. But at this moment, he couldn't bring himself to care about any of that yet; Kagome needed his full attention and support. Choosing to ignore the insistent messages on his phone, Totosai put the device face-down on the bedside table.
The closet door silently opened, he turned around to see Kagome standing in the doorframe. The vibrant color of Inuyasha's traditional outfit was striking against her pale skin. Her dark locks were pulled in front of one shoulder, reaching well past the humble swell of her breast, and looked attractively disheveled. The jewel was tucked away in a secret inner-pocket of the haori, where Kagome could feel it resting above her heart. The collar was folded just beneath her neck and the garment was held shut by the detached sleeves tied around her waist. They scooped and fell on either side of her thighs, forming a second layer to the skirt formed by the folds of the haori. Kagome's arms were left bare as the sleeves ended just below her shoulders, and under each was a bundle of clothes. Inuyasha's jacket and Sango's borrowed clothes were rolled up and held between Kagome's arm and hip. In her other hand, the rest of the fire-rat ensemble was carefully grasped.
"I thought Inuyasha could change into these," she offered sweetly, to which Totosai agreed. He gestured to the nearest corner of his bed.
"Just put them on the mattress. And those," He pointed a stiff, crooked finger at the bundle of damp clothes in her other arm. "You can put in that basket." There was a hamper in the corner of the room. Kagome did as she was instructed and escorted Totosai back into sitting room. The clock above the fireplace read half-past eight, and yet it felt much later than that. There were fresh logs in the fireplace that popped and cracked as they fed the blaze, keeping the room noticeably warmer than the rest of the house. Inuyasha was nowhere in sight, but there were three sets of tea cups placed on the central coffee table. Cattycorner to it was a beautifully designed chair, made with fine leather and supportive cushioning. Totosai gestured for Kagome to take her seat in it, which seemed odd since she was accustomed to kneeling at a table to serve drinks.
"This chair is very strange, Totosai-sama." Kagome remarked as she lowered herself onto the springy leather seat. She gauged the bounce of it by bobbing up and down and a delighted grin finally curled on her mouth. "I never thought you'd live in such luxury. This is much improved from your old hut!" Kagome's cheeky observation caught Totosai off guard as he lowered himself onto the couch adjacent to her and a burst of laughter rattled out of his tired, aged body. It wasn't often that he was inspired to laugh so heartily, but it probably had something to do with Kagome's comforting and easy company.
"I still have that old hut! I reclaimed it some odd number of centuries ago and used to send Shippou there when his pestering became unbearable." Totosai winced as he sank back into the comfortable sofa, his joints and muscles reluctantly relaxing like a tightly coiled spring slowly being released. He didn't think twice about mentioning Shippou, but Kagome's sharp intake of breath caught his attention.
"Shippou-bo! He still lives with you? Where is he now? I want to see him again!" Kagome flooded Totosai with excited questions, leaning towards him as she did so. It warmed Totosai's heart to know that Kagome still cared so strongly for the kit and he waved dismissively to ease her concerns.
"He was sent to another part of the country a few days ago to run an errand for me. I expect he will be back by morning." It was then Inuyasha returned with a wooden tray in hand and a steaming cast-iron kettle sitting on it. He was barefoot now, having removed his wet socks and shoes at the back exit, and had a disgruntled expression plastered on his handsome face. He came around the chair that Kagome was sat in, not yet seeing her dressed in his old fire-rat haori.
"Here's your goddamn tea." Setting the tray onto the coffee table with a graceless clack, Inuyasha crossed his arms and watched Totosai sniff the steamy air with a self-righteous frown.
"As I expected, you ruined it." The tea was perfectly fine, but Totosai was on an endless crusade to frustrate Inuyasha at every opportunity. The expression on the Hanyou's face was priceless. Struck speechless at first, there was a noticeable twitch in his left eye as the rage slowly began to build in the yellow irises. Kagome watched the exchange with fascination and worry, and her own words got caught in her mouth as she hesitantly reached towards her belligerent friend.
"Fuck you-!" The expressive and animated Inuyasha that Kagome remembered so fondly was about to vehemently rebuke the cantankerous old Youkai, which would not end well for anyone if he continued. Springing to action, she stepped in front of Inuyasha grinning sweetly and put her gentle hands on his tense shoulders. Her touch instantly calmed the agitated Hanyou, as did the sight of her dressed in his red attire.
"Inuyasha, I set some dry clothes for you to change into on Totosai-sama's bed." Kagome wisely angled Inuyasha in the direction of the hallway, which he reluctantly agreed to with an expression that was between dazed and frustrated.
"Oh? Um, thanks." He mumbled offhandedly. Kagome and Totosai watched him disappear behind the corner. "I won't take long." He said flippantly. Once the calm and quietness returned to the room, Kagome turned back to face the legendary Youkai. He was reaching towards the hot kettle, determined to pour himself a small cup of tea, but the tremble of hand and the pain etched into his face caused Kagome to intervene.
"Please, let me." She insisted sweetly and lowered herself to kneel by the coffee table to dutifully pour tea into everyone's cups. Her subservient and respectful actions were a product of the times that Kagome had been born, as well as the circumstances she later suffered through during her tenure at the Kanpeki Temple. However, serving Totosai did not fill her with the same resentment and shame as waiting on Aiko Kisawa or Kikyou Higurashi had. So, she poured his tea with a genuinely gracious smile.
"I remember the times you visited my hut and how you used to serve me tea." The frail Youkai did not hesitate when he took the first sip of steaming tea from his cup. Kagome eyes were upon him, but her mind was elsewhere as she recalled the memories of their time shared in his hut. "It was always jasmine, if my memory serves correct." With slow movement, the young girl pulled herself back onto the chair and carefully held her tea cup with the tips of her fingers. The curved ceramic surface was already hot, but she didn't mind the slight burn against her skin. A conflicted expression came over Kagome's face and a nagging question pulled at her reluctant mind as she chewed on her bottom lip. A sliver of dead skin suddenly tore away from the sensitive flesh, causing Kagome to wince as a sharp pain preempted the taste of blood. She licked the small cut, which continued to sting from being agitated, and looked up at Totosai. He sat happily oblivious while enjoying his tea.
"Totosai-sama, why did you leave so suddenly?" She blurted without a second thought, her voice holding a surprisingly critical tone. Totosai looked away from the dwindling fire to see Kagome gazing at him indignantly. Her bright blue eyes bore into him, and it felt as if ice was sliding down his malformed back. The old Youkai swallowed his remaining tea and growing nerves, but could not find the right words to say. "I went to find you shortly after-… You and Shippou were not there after my family was murdered. I went to that hut many times, hoping to find you there. Why did you not say goodbye, or at least leave a note?" Guilt wracked Totosai's already burdened soul, but he knew that Kagome was justified in being upset.
"Kagome, I am-" Totosai couldn't even finish the sentence before Kagome cut in.
"I have known all along that you are Youkai." She knew that he'd be shocked by the revelation that his ruse had never convinced her. Totosai was left open-mouthed and almost embarrassed by her brutal honesty. "Did you think I would tell the Taijiya about you? Or blame you for the crimes others committed against my family? I didn't." By now, the tea in her small cup was luke warm. Unable to maintain the conviction in her eyes and voice, Kagome looked down and quickly finished what was left of her drink before setting it back onto the coffee table. When Inuyasha returned dressed in the red hakama and white han-juban of the fire-rat ensemble, his somber mood matched the room's heavy atmosphere. He caught the entire exchange while changing down the hall and knew better than to interrupt them with a smart-alecky comment. His hair was dry enough and the unmanageable tresses had been pulled into a loose bun at the back of his head. When he moved to take the open seat between Totosai and Kagome, Inuyasha chose to avert his eyes and stared intently at the dancing flames a few feet away.
"That was my fear, but not the reasoning behind our departure." Totosai's raspy and wavering voice seemed beleaguered as he admitted the truth of his guilt and involvement in Kagome's life. "I was placed in that hut by the late Inu-no-Taisho Touga Tsuyo to secure your wellbeing while you lived away from the Western Palace. He still intended for you to mate either of his sons and wanted you to be safe from harm." The mention of their possible arranged-mating caused Inuyasha and Kagome to exchange awkward glances with one another, which they quickly looked away when both remembered their night spent at the inn. Totosai didn't seem to notice this and he continued. "Even after his death, I was duty-bound to remain there as your guardian until the time came that you married, or the war ended. I was called to return to the Western Kingdom many times, but I refused each request in honor of Touga-sama's last command."
"I-… and Shippou-bo?" Kagome was stumped for what to make of the information. The revelation that Touga cared so much for her was an unbelievable honor, and it caused her throat to tighten painfully when the emotions intensified. Inuyasha had not been expecting to hear that either, as he and Totosai had never discussed their shared familiarity with Kagome. His father, who was shrouded in mystery and tangled with conflicting emotions in Inuyasha's mind, was suddenly cast in a new light that left the Hanyou at a loss for what to make of him.
"During my travels from the Western Mountains, I found the orphaned kit injured and near death. He is the only surviving member of his leash and it was imperative to keep him alive, or that proud lineage of Kitsune Tai-Youkai would have been lost. He's my apprentice now and will continue my work after I've decided that my time on this plane has come to an end." Totosai paused to clear his throat, then held his serious gaze on Kagome's downcast face until she finally brought herself to meet it. There was a sadness in the Youkai's round, protruding eyes that unsettled the young girl; she didn't like being the cause for another creature's sorrow. "Shippou did not want to leave without saying goodbye to you. It was my choice to depart when we did, so do not hold that against him. It has been one of the greatest regrets of my life."
"Why did you do it?" Tears stung Kagome's eyes as her voice strained to remain calm and even. But in the next sentence, all that control was lost when a pitiful sob choked out with the words. "Why did you leave me?"
"Kagome, I was not aware of the plan to attack the Ningen Palace. When I received word of it, I knew that there would be no turning back to the world that either of your fathers had envisioned. Sesshoumaru-sama demanded that I return to the Western Kingdom and I could no longer justify declining his requests. He promised exemption and protection for myself and Shippou, so long as we declared loyalty to the Western Kingdom and honored his claim as the Inu-no-Taisho." Kagome found herself growing more and more upset as Totosai defended his actions with thinly veiled excuses. Though the tears in her eyes had not yet sprung free, Kagome's ears became red from the quickened pace of her heartbeat. Inuyasha noticed the unnatural tightness of Kagome's lips, but knew better than to draw attention to it. Totosai just kept going on and on, only spurring Kagome's bitter resentment even more. "You were nearly grown at the time and had the protection of your cousin and the Kanpeki Temple. I convinced myself that you would survive without my guardianship; a foolish and dangerous conclusion I later learned."
Totosai did not understand the magnitude of the impact his words had on Kagome, or that it was taking all her self-control to keep her rage and spiritual powers from being unleashed upon him. He thought she would be protected by Kikyou? That the Kanpeki Temple would remain a safe and welcoming place for her? The senile and compassionless old fool could not have been more wrong! She had survived DESPITE her cousin's cruelty and the headmistress's abuse! All these thoughts and more flooded Kagome's mind like a raging river. Shutting her eyes tightly and breathing heavily through her flared nostrils, Kagome reached into the hidden pocket for the Shikon No Tama. Every muscle in her body was tense, making her movements appear frantic and awkward. Holding the precious orb in the clasp of her hands, Kagome tried to refocus her mind and calm down. The air around her became charged with dormant stores of energy left in her exhausted body. Inuyasha even noticed the slight crackling sound of electricity as pink sparks of light began to flicker around her form, and he was motivated to get off the couch. Though he didn't know much about Kagome's mysterious abilities, he had enough self-preservation to know when it was time to distance himself from danger. Totosai still droned on.
"I knew that bidding you farewell would be too cruel… too difficult to explain to you. It was a coward's choice, but I do not deny making it." He leaned forward to set the tea cup on the coffee table, as if to punctuate his spiel about things being outside of his control and all the other nonsense Kagome stopped listening to midway. Inuyasha was at the fireplace, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and face looking downwards, though his eyes did dart up to observe Kagome's reaction. It was impossible for either male to interpret the emotions battling across Kagome's stern face. Her lip gave a twitch as she bit back the words that begged to be screamed at the old Youkai, and her furious eyes swiveled to gaze up at the ceiling to reign back the tears that blurred her vision.
"How much time has passed since…" Kagome's tight voice trailed off, as she assumed the others would infer the rest of her question without forcing her to speak. Inuyasha knew this question was going to come up and he was more than glad to let Totosai be the bearer of bad news.
"How long do you think it has been?" Totosai asked calmly. Kagome needed a few moments to settle down. She took a shuddering breath, allowing her body to relax, and eventually dropped her gaze to Totosai's face.
"Ten... twenty years?" She answered unsurely, watching as Inuyasha and Totosai exchange troubled looks. Their reluctance to affirm her guess was not comforting in the least. "Has it been more than that?" She followed up, dread creeping into the back of her mind.
"It's been over five hundred years since last we spoke, Kagome." Totosai said slowly. He did not want to be the one delivering such news and shut his eyes to save himself the sight of Kagome's devastation. The impact was like a punch to the gut, leaving Kagome to open and close her mouth as she struggled to find a response when no words would come out. Her eyes batted a few times as tears finally cascaded freely down her cheeks and heart palpitations left her feeling light headed and breathless. The jewel that she held suddenly became the heaviest burden imaginable, like a lead weight sinking into the palm of her hand.
"W-what?" She croaked softly, her word barely audible. Kagome looked over at Inuyasha, who only nodded his head to confirm Totosai's terrible news. She gripped the Shikon No Tama tightly, as if punishing it and the Kami encased inside.
"When I heard about the raid on the Kanpeki Temple, I ran as fast as I could to get to you." Inuyasha had a slightly pained look as he described his experience of the aftermath. "I thought you had perished with everyone else… I smelled your blood and saw all of those charred bodies." Knowing exactly what he found, Kagome covered her mouth and sank back into the chair as even more tears spilled free. A sense nausea settled inside of her when the room began to shift and tilt, and she had to shut her eyes before becoming sick. Totosai watched Inuyasha cross the room and kneel beside Kagome. In a show of uncommon kindness and compassion, the Hanyou gently pulled Kagome to lean into his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around her slender form. Resting his chin atop her soft head of black hair, Inuyasha clenched his jaw to prevent his own emotions from getting the better of him.
"Why was it destroyed?" Once she was able to form a sentence again, Kagome turned her face beneath Inuyasha's jaw to look over at Totosai. "What of the Taijiya Village? And the Merchant Town? There were so many people…" Her eyes expressed all the confusion that was bound to happen for someone in her situation. Totosai heaved a heavy sigh, as he was not sure how to tell her the full truth of what occurred all those centuries ago. When his answer took too long, a flash of outrage overcame Kagome and she lashed out at the elderly Youkai. If Inuyasha hadn't been embracing her, she would have flipped the coffee table from the intensity of her fury. "What aren't you telling me?!" She hollered demandingly, her voice cracking and garbled from the quiet sobs that wracked her body.
"All of the Ningen settlements were destroyed." Totosai's words were rushed, as if spilling out uncontrollably. It was a blunt delivery and rocked Kagome's entire conception of reality and possibility. Her breath stilled and Inuyasha detected the terror and denial that radiated from her. "Today, all that stands in their place is more of the Aokigahara Forest. Great effort was taken to erase the evidence of them ever existing. The palace, however, now serves as the private residence for one of our government officials." Totosai paused briefly as his tired mind recalled the chain of events from so long ago. Kagome could tell there was more he was about to reveal, and she waited for him to continue. Inuyasha argued with himself about whether to stop Totosai or not; he knew what happened next and wanted to spare Kagome that misery.
"Those who survived were taken as spoils of war and transported to the various Youkai Kingdoms to be used as servants for the Tai-Youkai… although many were killed soon after if sickness, age, or disobedience impeded their usefulness." Angered by the blunt and crass delivery, Inuyasha shot Totosai a dangerous look as he placed a hand at the back of Kagome's head. Her body dry heaved involuntarily as a sickened reaction. Doubling over, Kagome's small form jumped with each gasping sob that ripped from her throat. Totosai felt wave after wave of guilt and shame crash over him with each desperate sound she made, and he was nearly pushed to shed a few tears of his own.
"Kagome, I'm so sorry." Inuyasha whispered softly to his friend, but he couldn't tell if she even heard him. He placed his hand flat between her shoulder blades and began to slowly caress her back. Almost instantly the uneven, scar-ridden terrain of her back caught his attention when he felt them through the thin layer of his haori. Inuyasha's brow furrowed with concern as he deliberately traced one of the most pronounced scars with his finger. As if touched by a red-hot poker, Kagome jerked away with a desperate whimper and leaned back into the chair's firm cushion behind her. In all the commotion her hand released the Shikon No Tama, and it landed on the coffee table with a single bounce before coming to a slow stop near the edge. Inuyasha stared at Kagome with surprise and concern written on his face.
"This is all my fault… they all suffered because of me." With hair in disarray and her flushed face tear-stained, Kagome looked like a feral animal in severe distress. She refused to look at either Totosai or Inuyasha and spoke in a hushed tone as if the words weren't meant for anyone to hear. Frantic blue eyes remained trained on the radiant jewel that seemed so innocent as it sat on the table before her, but the damned thing was nothing more than a curse that she alone had to carry. It faintly pulsated in time with her heartbeat.
"Kagome, it is time that you tell us what happened." Totosai somberly interjected, and they wait for her to calm down enough to speak coherently. Ashen and with a hoarse voice, Kagome eventually gathered her jumbled thoughts. She sniffled her runny nose and licked her dry lips, trying to regain a semblance of control on her emotions.
"A day before the attack, I was visited in my sleep by the four Kami of the Shikon No Tama…" Kagome went into the long explanation of how they came to her, what they said her destiny was, and all that transpired during her hibernation. Both men found it difficult to grasp, but the evidence of it was undeniable. Sitting before them was a vessel of the Kami that very few even believed in anymore. Neglecting to mention her torture and narrowly avoided execution, Kagome decided not to burden Totosai and Inuyasha with that depressing knowledge. She revealed her choice to rest instead of taking immediate action, and that the Kami had warned her the world would be different upon her awakening. Reminded of her terrible lapse in judgment, guilt suddenly overwhelmed Kagome and she became hysterical.
"I didn't-I wouldn't have-… oh Kami! So many innocent people I could have-I SHOULD have protected!" Inuyasha and Totosai tried to comfort the distraught girl, but their words did not register in her manic mind anymore. Suddenly standing up from the chair, Kagome swiped the jewel from the table and spun on her heels in a flurry of hair, red fabric, and arms. She was like an unstoppable natural force, swirling and building momentum towards irrational actions and choices. Totosai was unable to react quickly, his body would not allow fast and unpredicted movement, but Inuyasha could. He jumped up from his kneeling position and rushed towards Kagome with just a few steps.
"Sit back down!" He insisted loudly, reaching for her outstretched arm. Kagome stumbled and swayed like she had lost all her senses, but she was still determined to get to the front door. She evaded Inuyasha's attempts to grab her, but the disoriented girl still managed to bump into walls and trip over her own feet.
"I have to go!" Kagome gasped out, stumbling into the dark foyer that she and Inuyasha had passed through earlier that night. He was right behind her, frustrated and worried about his friend's state of mind. "I must see Sesshoumaru! Must speak with him now! This is all my fault!" Suffering from exhaustion and shock, Kagome no longer heeded the call of reason.
"Kagome, don't be stupid! Calm down before you pass out! We can figure this out tomorrow!" Inuyasha yelled sternly, losing all semblance of his previously calm demeanor. Just as Kagome got to the front door, her small wrist was taken by his powerful hand, preventing her from moving any further. Standing in the hallway, Totosai watched the sad scene play out like a movie which he couldn't pause or walk away from viewing. Inuyasha spun Kagome away from the door and trapped her against his chest by taking firm hold of her shoulders. "Snap out of it!" He gave her frame a gentle shove, but she was beginning to go limp as the rest of her strength finally evaporated.
"There is no time to waste," She whimpered desperately as her eyes shut and brow furrowed. "I have failed my people… everyone…" Unable to support herself any longer, Kagome collapsed against Inuyasha, whom was already scooping up her legs to pick her up bridal style. He watched as she fought to remain conscious before promptly losing that battle. "I must speak with-" Kagome's last words were stolen when she finally gave into exhaustion. Her head lolled back as her face relaxed into a blank expression. With one arm trapped between her side and Inuyasha's chest, the other dangled limply from her shoulder, dropping the jewel onto the hardwood floor with single 'thunk'. Tears clung onto her tapered eyelashes and the distraught girl looking tragically beautiful as she hung in Inuyasha's arms. The chaotic and loud scene abruptly ended, leaving the two men silently aghast. Inuyasha turned to Totosai, looking lost and confused for what to do. The old hermit shook his head in disbelief, then gestured down the hallway where the various bedrooms were located.
"You can put her in your old room. She needs to rest." Trusting the old Youkai's wisdom, Inuyasha gave an awkward nod and shifted Kagome's body into a more comfortable position for her, though her limp body had no reaction to it.
"Is this really happening?" Looking down at her peaceful face that was blemished with tear and flushed cheeks, Inuyasha had a dumbstruck expression as he quietly spoke. "Is Kagome really a vessel for the Kami?" He let out a strange and almost bitter laugh at the outlandish notion. Totosai remained quiet, allowing the confused Hanyou to say his peace. "I stopped wishing for her to come back a long time ago. I stopped wishing for anything… just never seemed to work for me." After decades and centuries of disappointment, the part of Inuyasha that upheld faith and hope had long since been abandoned. Kagome's reappearance was like a slap to the face of all his misconceived non-beliefs. "But here she is, alive in my arms and just as I remember her." Totosai waited for the Hanyou to go into the hallway but noticed that he was hesitant to move. Taking two steps closer, the old Youkai detected the scent of salty tears.
"Will you be alright?" In an act of benevolence, Totosai allowed Inuyasha to express his emotions without the risk of humiliation.
"I'm afraid to fall asleep." Inuyasha revealed with a weakened voice, highlighting just how fragile his heart was in that moment. Totosai's aged face expressed a somewhat sympathetic expression as he stepped closer to Kagome. He gazed down at her calm, unaware visage and was almost disgusted by how diminished her health had become since he last saw her. A few moments of silence passed as both Youkai and Hanyou studied the unconscious girl between them, amazed and upset by her story. "What if I wake up and Kagome isn't there? What if this was some fucked up nightmare? I can't relive this again… I can't lose her twice." A single tear escaped Inuyasha's left eye, which he quickly wiped away by brushing his cheek against his shoulder.
"I do not believe the Kami would be so cruel…" Totosai offered a supportive pat against Inuyasha's shoulder, then gestured for him to go into the spare bedroom down the hallway. Feeling somewhat reassured and in a daze, Inuyasha retreated to his old bedroom where he and Kagome could rest comfortably. He navigated the dark room that had once been his residence throughout the centuries. It only contained a plainly made bed since the rest of his belongings permanently lived in his apartment now. Gently lowering Kagome onto the mattress, her head sank into the downy pillow and her body automatically found a comfortable position as Inuyasha carefully pulled back the sheets. He slid into the open space beside her and brought the blankets up to their chins when she gave off a weak shiver. As if fulfilling a need to be close to him, Kagome angled herself towards Inuyasha's warm body and he gladly drew her into his arms. Though his mind and body were exhausted, sleep eluded Inuyasha. He spent the night reveling in Kagome's scent and the sounds of her even breathing; it was the most beautiful thing he has heard in a long time. Smiling to himself, a flood of contradicting emotions overcame the unprepared Hanyou and caused him to quietly sob between bouts of hushed laughter.
Left standing in the foyer after Inuyasha took Kagome into the bedroom, Totosai finally noticed the Shikon No Tama left forgotten on the floor. Having lived during a period when the jewel had been nothing more than a legend, he was torn about handling the mysterious orb. It was charged with Shinsei and would likely reject any direct contact with his Yoki. However, there were tales that the Shikon No Tama would imbue the Youkai in possession of it unimaginable power and abilities. Some said that it could even grant the most unrealistic wish. As astounding as it sounded, Totosai Komatsu had no need for such things at such a late stage in his life.
When he stooped down to pluck the jewel from the floor, there was strong reaction the instant his fingers curled around the smooth object. Suddenly filled with energy and vitality, Totosai was almost knocked back when all the aches and pains of his body disappeared. His inner-beast that had been dormant for some time was now active in the recesses of his mind. Straightening his back, Totosai stood taller than he had in almost three centuries. He could feel his muscles and bones slowly regenerating thanks to the Shikon No Tama sitting in the palm of his hand. No wonder it was such a legend! The mysterious jewel truly did hold all the possibilities of the world within it. Totosai's concerns about Kagome's safety were only magnified though as he'd severely underestimated the Shikon No Tama's abilities.
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While her physical body recuperated its strength and energy, Kagome's unconscious mind was invaded by the familiar presence of the Kami. As if sinking into the pitch-black abyss of a deep ocean, Kagome saw and felt only darkness. Her body was weightless, suspended in the nothingness that surrounded her. Aware of what was occurring, Kagome waited for the omnipresent amalgamation of voices to make themselves known. It was neither wholly male or female and sounded both familiar and strange all at once.
"…Kagome..."
The voice echoed around her, bouncing off non-existent walls.
"You - How could you allow this to happen?!" Already fired up, Kagome did not hold back the vehemence in her voice as she shouted her reply to the Kami.
"…You were warned… There is no one to blame other than yourself..."
The voices took on a chastising tone of a parent and for a moment it almost sounded like her father's memorable tenor.
"I thought you'd let me rest for a few days, a week at the most. It's been five hundred years! So much has changed and I don't understand anything. So many have died, and I could have done something to… It didn't have to be this way. Why did this happen?" Desperate for their logical reasoning, one that could ease her guilty conscience and provide easy answers, Kagome demanded the Kami to explain themselves.
"…With the exception of your Youkai and Hanyou companions… everyone you once knew had already perished before the Shikon No Tama was released from your body… Had you chosen to continue without resting, the path we set you upon would have been perilous to undertake alone… To wake you a moment before we did would have made the journey impossible… possibly fatal… even with all the gifted powers that now reside in you…"
The voice clarified slowly, staying monotonous and aloof. This left Kagome still feeling frustrated and confused.
"That doesn't explain why so much time passed before I woke up. How will I face my people after all this time? How am I supposed to lead them when I am the reason for their suffering?" Thus far, Kagome steadfastly felt the heavy burden of the Kami's destiny for her, but it was exponentially more suffocating as the pressure mounted to meet their expectations.
"…You were specially chosen to be a deliverer… to doubt yourself is to doubt the Kami… This war is not yours alone to fight... Others have a destiny all their own and they will help you pave the road to a better future for all… Even with all the abilities you possess you are still vulnerable to the world that you know nothing of… There must be others in whom you trust and can fight beside during the battles to come… Those from your past who have been reincarnated in this time..."
There had never been talk of others being involved in Kagome's journey, but it was greatly reassuring to know that she wouldn't be alone in the fights to come.
"Reincarnated? Who?" She questioned back, her tone no longer hostile towards the Kami.
"…You have already crossed paths with some… and there are others that you may encounter by chance… They contain within them the souls of your departed connections who have completed the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth… In time their past life's memories will resurface as their exposure to you grows…"
The voice explained calmly, and Kagome hypothesized over who she had already met.
"Sango and Kohaku, are they the reincarnation of Asano and Keitaro?" With an earnest voice Kagome hoped that she had been correct in recognizing her old friend in Sango.
"…Yes… Though they are not tied by blood to your departed friends they are connected to them by a shared soul and a fate intertwined with yours…"
It was the best news Kagome had received in a long time, though it would be short lived.
"Who else will I be reunited with? Is Otou-san alive? My Oka-san?" Focusing on the possibility of being with the people she desperately missed, Kagome felt her excitement and joy mounting like never before.
"…That is not for you to know… Do not let yourself stray from the path we have put you on… If a reincarnation is meant to be at your side on this terrible journey they will appear to you… Waiting and searching for them will serve no purpose other than as a distraction from what you must accomplish…"
Abruptly stealing Kagome's blissful hope of seeing her father again, the Kami reminded her that she was not immune to disappointment just because she was chosen to be their vessel. Though it was difficult for her to accept never seeing her father again, Kagome still maintained an irrational hope for others who might have been reincarnated.
"What of Shiori? Can you at least assure me that she's been given another chance at life?" Kagome knew the answer even before the Kami's voice resonated around her, but that did not lessen her outrage in the slightest.
"…She has not…"
"Why? You brought back Asano and Keitaro. Why not her?!" Kagome was offended by the blasé disregard that the Kami seemed to have towards Shiori during the entirety of her undeservedly miserable life. If anyone deserved a second chance, it was Shiori.
"…The souls of Youkai and Hanyou differ greatly from those of Ningen… They who are gifted with longevity and prolonged youth are not privy to the same chances of reincarnation as Ningen… Shiori was a Hanyou who would have ceased aging upon her physical maturation… She could have survived to meet you again if disease had not overtaken her…"
Objectively, the Kami's reasoning was rational and sensible, but Kagome would never be objective or rational where it regarded those she loved and cherished. Though she could not shed a tear while in her current state, Kagome's heart broke for Shiori's missed chance for a better life.
"I'll never see Shiori again? She will never know love or acceptance? Her soul will never be reincarnated?" For some reason, it was more painful to accept Shiori's ineligibility for reincarnation than her own father's.
"…We said that her kind does not have the same opportunities as Ningen, not that there are none available to them… There are ways to be reunited with Shiori… They require great sacrifice and should not occupy the greater part of your focus…"
The Kami offered a silver lining to the darkened clouds in Kagome's mind, though it did little to lift her spirits.
"My heart aches so much. Shiori deserves another chance." She argued still, unrelenting in her stance for what was fair and right.
"…We would never intend to cause you needless suffering… but there are things even outside of our control… deserving or not…"
The Kami almost sounded apologetic, but it was impossible to truly interpret the feeling and meaning behind their disembodied voices.
"I understand, Kami-sama." Kagome finally relented, though her mind was still burdened by something.
"…Your mind is troubled still… What weighs so heavily on you?"
Now the Kami seemed to take on a motherly tone, one that reminded Kagome of Izayoi's beautiful voice. Like a daughter might share her deepest insecurities and fears with her trusted and wise mother, Kagome revealed what else bothered her.
"I cannot understand this new language that everyone else is speaking. Only Inuyasha and Totosai have been able to communicate with me in the common tongue that we share. I fear being dependent on them to explain everything to me." She worried that the significant language barrier would make fulfilling her destiny insurmountable since the two dialects were so different. Having to learn a new language was incredibly daunting to Kagome.
"…Let your worries subside... When you wake you will understand this new language and speak it as well… It is a small kindness that we may bestow upon you…"
The Kami were truly benevolent towards the girl chosen as their vessel.
"Thank you, Kami-sama." Grateful for their generosity, Kagome's lingering resentment for the Kami's perceived indifference dissipated.
"…Kagome… so precious you are to us… Even when you feel abandoned you are never truly alone… We are in everything you do… and will be with you until the end…"
A warm caress soothed Kagome's cheek like the gentle touch of a lover, but the Kami's cryptic words left her with more questions.
"Until the end?" Before Kagome could press them for a further explanation, she felt a sharp tug at the very core of her being that pulled her back to consciousness in the real world. The blackness that surrounded her became the insides of her closed eyelids, which shot open and allowed a burst of light to consume her vision. The pulling sensation that ripped Kagome from her conference with the Kami had been her body detecting the Shikon No Tama was being tampered with. Before her mind could catch up with the previous night's memories, Kagome's body automatically jumped up to attack the person handling the jewel.
OoO~OoO
OoO~OoO
While Inuyasha and Kagome slept, Totosai devised a practical way for her to keep the Shikon No Tama on her person at all times. Using thin, malleable wire to construct a cage for the jewel to sit inside, the creative Youkai shaped the looping metal filament so it could be threaded by a highly-tempered chain. It was an attractive and functional design, and the chain was long enough to keep the Shikon No Tama hidden below the valley of her breasts, just a few inches above her navel. Totosai came into Inuyasha's room during the early hours of the morning, remaining undetected as he carefully placed the chained jewel in Kagome's open hand as she slept.
When Inuyasha groggily woke a few hours later as the hour neared seven in the morning, he was relieved to find Kagome still slumbering beside him. He spared a minute to bask in the reverie of her being in his life again. The Shikon No Tama's altered appearance caught his attention though, and curiosity got the better of him. Kagome appeared so peaceful and content that he didn't want to disturb her, so Inuyasha tried to remove the jewel from Kagome's limp grasp as sneakily as possible. Still lying next to her, the Hanyou lazily studied the jewel and took note of how its effect altered his strength and senses. He felt energized and incredibly more perceptive to the sounds and smells throughout the house. Only a few moments of quiet contemplation passed before Kagome gave Inuyasha the fright of his life. With her energy restored, she subconsciously detected a threat to the Shikon No Tama and reacted without a second thought.
Unexpectedly tackling him to the floor, Inuyasha was left gasping as the wind got knocked out of his lungs when his back collided with the hardwood surface. Kagome knelt over him, her thighs straddling his chest, and her steady hand pinned to his strong neck while the other reeled back as if ready to strike. Her raised hand glowed with an unearthly pink light that sparked and cracked with deadly Shinsei energy, primed to obliterate his skull. Sprawled on the floor with one leg still hanging onto the edge of the mattress Inuyasha remained frozen beneath Kagome. The unusual darkness in her pristine blue eyes was as unsettling as the threatening expression on her beautiful face, but this lasted all of two seconds before Kagome came to her senses.
Realizing that it was only Inuyasha being nosey, she lowered her hand with a frustrated huff. The holy energy evaporated, along with the threat to Inuyasha's life, and he finally felt comfortable taking a breath again. As last night's events resurfaced in Kagome's mind, she snatched the jewel back from Inuyasha and noticed its transformation into a pretty necklace. Still sitting atop his stomach, Kagome ignored the irate expression slowly forming on her friend's reddened face as she put the chain around her neck. Pulling her hair over one shoulder, she slipped the jewel inside the overlapping sections of the fire-rat haori and gave a shiver when the cold metal stung her warm skin. It settled over her collarbone and between her breasts while the jewel hung freely a few inches above her navel. She looked down just as Inuyasha began complaining loudly.
"What the Hell was that!? Why'd you attack me!?" Speaking in the Old Japanese language was not a habit for him anymore, so Inuyasha mistakenly yelled at Kagome in the dialect of the modern era. However, thanks to her discussion with the Kami, Kagome understood his every word.
"Inuyasha! This not for playing with. It mine to protect!" Her grasp of the new language would need some fine tuning, but the meaning behind her awkward phrasing was still comprehensible.
"I wasn't playing with it! I was just looking!" As he lashed back at her, Inuyasha's exaggerated face expressed his absolute outrage for being accused of such childish behavior. The two remained in that position with Kagome perched atop his stomach while he was trapped flat on his back, and it was reminiscent of the times they used to play rough as children – someone always ended up sitting on top of the other.
"No touch it, Inuyasha!" Resorting to the same infantile conduct, Kagome made a pouting face as she yelled down at the fallen Hanyou. Just as he was about to really lay into her, Inuyasha realized that they had screamed at each other in the new Japanese dialect. Sitting up on his elbows, he stared curiously at his teenaged friend.
"Wait, you understand me? And you can kinda speak the new Japanese?" His question caught Kagome off guard. She wasn't quite sure how to properly explain it to him. Clearing her throat to stall, she meekly nodded.
"…Yes. I can." As the tension between them began to subside, so did their tempers.
"The Kami?" Assuming all of Kagome's inexplicable changes were due to the Kami's involvement, Inuyasha already knew what her answer would be.
"The Kami." She affirmed simply and took a moment to rub the crusted sleep from her eyes. Inuyasha nodded absentmindedly, his half-lidded eyes watching her mundane action until another question popped into his head.
"And that pink light? Is that the ability they gave you?" His tone was sharp now, bitter after she directed that deadly energy at him. Kagome noticed the blaming undertone in Inuyasha's voice and she nodded sheepishly with a remorseful look on her face.
"I am apologize." Kagome's improper grammar was almost endearing enough to crack through Inuyasha's annoyed attitude.
"Wha-? No, you want to say, 'I am sorry.'" He corrected bluntly, which caused her to nudge her chin back in a confused gesture as her brow furrowed pensively.
"I am so-orry?" The unfamiliar word came out like a question as her mouth learned how to form it.
"Damn right you are! That could have killed me!" Exploding with another bout of his ornery attitude, Inuyasha startled Kagome before her own temper flared in retaliation.
"Do not yelling at me!" She fussed loudly, and roughly bounced on top of Inuyasha's stomach to knock more air out of him. He let out a surprised grunt from the unexpected forceful pressure, but quickly recovered with a snarky response.
"~Do not yelling at me~!" He mocked in a grating, falsetto voice that made Kagome bristle even more. "Talk right, idiot!" The bickering duo began swatting at each other as their disagreement escalated, though neither would allow it to go too far; they secretly enjoyed quarrelling like they did as children. Totosai put an end to it though by abruptly opening the bedroom door and gave them both a fright, very similar to the way their parents used to do. There was a bemused expression on his haggard face and the two embarrassed friends quickly scrambled to separate themselves. Inuyasha rolled over onto his stomach and glared challengingly up at the old Youkai while Kagome knelt submissively on the floor beside him, looking sidelong as an incriminating blush heated her face.
"Breakfast is ready. If you're not too busy behaving like teenagers in heat, you can join us at the table." Totosai informed bluntly, having no mind for protecting either Inuyasha or Kagome's feelings. Clearing his throat, though that did not alleviate the permanent tremor in his voice, Totosai spoke directly to Kagome. Having heard their entire exchange from down the hall, he was aware that there was no longer a need to use the ancient dialect anymore. "Kagome, the door to the left is a washroom. You can freshen up in there." The young girl smiled appreciatively and nodded as she brought one foot forward to stand up.
"There is someone here? It is Sesshoumaru?" She asked expectantly, which earned an annoyed 'Keh!' from the Hanyou beside her. Kagome shot Inuyasha a dangerous look as she rose to her feet.
"Go freshen up and come into the kitchen when you're ready." Totosai pointedly chose not to answer Kagome's question, which she merely shrugged off and took it to mean that she'd find out soon enough. Unable to resist the urge, Kagome had the last laugh and she gave Inuyasha a short kick to the ribs before jumping out of his reach when he swiped at her ankles. However, when he glared up at her Inuyasha quickly averted his gaze and kept his heated face looking elsewhere until Kagome left the room; he forgot just how short the haori was on her long, bare legs and that she had nothing on underneath it. Still present in the room, Totosai sent Inuyasha a derisive glare, but it was his silence that most irked the Hanyou.
"What are you looking at?" Rising to his feet, Inuyasha half-heartedly snapped at Totosai as he stretched his sore back and returned the heated look with a scowl. It was odd waking up in his old fire-rat attire but Inuyasha welcomed the familiar feel of the fabric. It wasn't often that he got an opportunity to dress in the traditional garb.
"She has the excuse of still being a teenager… You know better than to be so immature." Totosai spoke in a chastising tone, giving Inuyasha a warning look as well. Inuyasha merely rolled his eyes and crossed the room to brush past Totosai in the doorway, already disregarding the Youkai's words. He pulled his hair out of the unkempt and lopsided bun to run his fingers through the tangled fibers, waiting for the aged Youkai to get out of the way. Totosai made no move to step aside, forcing the younger Hanyou to awkwardly shimmy between him and the door jamb to exit the bedroom. Just when Inuyasha thought he was in the clear, there was a very sudden and painful whack against the back of his head.
"Hey! The fuck was that for?!" He snapped angrily, giving the sore spot a gentle rub.
"Don't let me catch you looking up that girl's skirt ever again! Dirty mongrel!"