A/N: A good musical accompaniment for this chapter would be Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay. I just like the peacefulness of their music. I hope you all have recovered and are prepared for more emotions in this chapter! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.
Erik tried hard to cling to April, but it slipped through his fingers all the same. Before he knew what to do, he found himself sitting in his living room the night before Angeline was to leave. He sat in a sort of daze in one of the wingbacks as she ran through a mental checklist to make sure she had packed everything she needed. He watched her pace back and forth, lost in thought.
'Angeline,' he called to her softly, using his gentlest tone.
She looked up in surprise at his sudden change in voice. She was expecting him to scold her further on leaving, or perhaps her pacing, but instead he sounded once more like a lost child.
'Please come and sit down.' He said tiredly. It did not sound like what he had originally intended, but she took the other wingback obediently nonetheless.
She watched him fail to relax any. He had his right side to her, the mask cutting off her view of his expression. She wondered what he was thinking, but settled on just sitting quietly. He let out a strained sigh and leaned back into his chair. He looked pitifully up at the ceiling, clearly reining in more emotions than he knew what to do with.
'The month will be gone before you know it.' She assured, guessing his malady.
He looked to her sorrowfully, but held back his many words that would urge her to stay.
'I'll bet when I come back you'll be wishing I had been gone longer.' She tried teasingly, but his pained expression only made her breath choke in her throat.
'I would never wish that, Angeline.' He promised in despair.
Scooting out of her chair, she sat on the floor in front of him, taking both his hands in hers as she rested her arms on his knees. If it weren't for his eyebrows shooting up, she would have thought he had not noticed. His woeful countenance remained.
'Think of it this way,' she said smoothly. 'When I come back, our time together will mean even more.' She tried a reassuring smile and the struggling hopeful light in Erik's eyes gave her comfort. 'I will miss you, Erik. But I promise I will come back.'
'I will miss you as well. I've gotten used to having you around.' He tried his hand at a playful grin, but it died quickly.
Smiling sadly, she rose and went off to the bedroom for about the millionth time that night, only this time it was to retrieve something. She came back over to Erik, clutching a small blue book to her chest protectively. Slowly, reverently, she lowered it and handed it to him.
'Hold onto this for me while I'm gone.' She told him with a seriousness that showed him how much this temporary gift meant. He looked at the tiny volume and gasped when he realised it was her father's prized book.
'Angeline, I can't-' She stopped him with her hand.
'I want you to take care of it until I come back.' Her eyes begged him to promise, though he knew she would never ask him to swear anything to her. She had told him once that she would never bind him by a promise. Much as she had sworn to never ask him to reveal any more of himself than he chose.
He nodded, melting into her will like butter on a warm blade. She could make him say or do anything with only a glance. He knew he would kill if anyone dared make her cry. He would turn over the Earth if it would but please her. But he knew he would die if she left him for good. One word and he would end it all. One look of terror from her and his life would be over. He had known this almost from the start, but now that she had worked her way into his heart, there was eliminated any question. She had caused the cracks in his heart, he knew this, although the why was still a mystery. She had never hurt this much, or in the same way.
'I'd best get to bed.' She sighed, feeling oddly uncomfortable with his expression. 'Don't stay up too late, Erik.' She said, hoping to wake him slightly from his contemplative daze. She patted his shoulder as she went off to the bedroom, hearing a quick good night as he hurried to answer. She knew he had been lost in thought, but his urgency to reply surprised her a little.
Angeline half expected Erik to still be in the chair when she came out the next morning, but her compassionate friend was nowhere to be seen. She was a bit confused at his absence, but was quickly distracted by the knock at the door. It was the cabbie there to help her with her trunk. The Martins had sent him, knowing that she could not haul the luggage all the way to their home. The carriage would take her to their house and then all three to the train station. Provence was a long way to go from Paris, and the ride would be several hours, about half the day, in fact.
Having already dragged the trunk to beside the door, Angeline was almost ready to go. She looked back at the empty living room and study. Asking the cabbie to wait, she went over the kitchen door and knocked.
'Erik?' She called at it, not daring to entre without permission. 'Erik, I'm headed off, I just wanted to let you know and say goodbye.' She said hopefully, however, when she received no response, she began to worry. She considered going upstairs to the roof, but the cabbie poked his head in the front door to tell her of the time and schedule they had to keep.
Giving the kitchen door one last glance, she resigned herself to not seeing him before she left. 'I'll be back soon.' She promised in a whisper before turning and leaving the house.
Erik slumped against the kitchen door, sliding his back down it until he sat on the floor when he heard the front door close behind her. He hated the tears that now slid down his cheeks at her promise, almost inaudible. Her whisper was made for him, and him alone. She knew he would hear it. She had said it for him. And now she was gone for a whole month.
He recalled her mild scolding while she fluttered about with her packing only two days previous.
'Now, remember to sleep and eat while I'm gone,' she had reminded him. 'You're only human, Erik.'
Oh how those words had stung. For her he wanted to be far more than that, and yet being called something so close to normality made his heart ache. She thought of him as just another person, not some shut in monster hiding in the shadows.
Somehow now her words meant little to him. What was the point? He just knew she would get a taste of freedom and long for more. She would tire of his company within a week of her return. He could feel it. Before long she would be hoping to go elsewhere, and no matter how much he wanted to, he would not be able to follow. That damned Phillip had planned this! He would drive his lovely Angeline away with his promises of sunlight and gayety. Just like he had with her! Erik, the shadow of a wretch was forever doomed to lose the beauty he was foolish enough to dream about. And oh, how he dreamed of her. Her simplest of smiles, the feeling of her arms around him as she had held him, and her kisses. Two kisses! How could he ever dare to wish for more when he was already received far more than he ever deserved?
He would wait for her to return, he would survive for the moment when her smile faded as she realised she had come back to this. He would await this final punishment for longing for impossible things. Her look of disappointment, perhaps even fear at being near him again. Yes, that look was long overdue from her. He would give himself this last torture before letting her go as he knew he always should have. He was on borrowed time with her as it was.
Angeline sat in the carriage, feeling every bump in the road as it drove her farther and farther from Erik. She really had wished to say goodbye to him, but clearly he did not wish to do the same. She accepted this, though it hurt no less. She felt an odd tightness in her chest at the thought of leaving him and their home. Truly it was his house, but she had come to think of it as home. After all, that was what he had insisted she call it.
She felt like she had a string tied round her heart and if the distance grew much more it would snap the somehow precious thread. She supposed the other end was tied to Erik, though why, she was not yet certain. He did not belong to her, nor she to him. They were good friends. He had saved her, and now she did her best to save him. Nothing more, and yet, nothing less.
Putting on a brave face, she set her mind on all of the fun she was assuredly going to have with Cecilia. It would be good for her to get out of the city. Besides, Phillip said Provence was beautiful this time of year.
It only took them a few minutes extra to get everyone into the carriage and finally on their way. Cecilia chatted for the first few hours, but as the day stretched on in the confines of the train, she grew tired, eventually resting her head in Angeline's lap as she lay on the seat.
'She's really taken to you.' Phillip admired as his darling sister napped.
'I think that is a fair assumption.' Angeline smiled, brushing Cecilia's copper locks softly.
'You're going to love it, Angeline.' He assured for the hundredth time that week. 'There are great fields of lavender and rolling meadows where we can ride horses. I know Cecilia told me you've never ridden, but we shall definitely amend this.' He grinned eagerly.
'I'm sure you shall.' She replied politely. They had been sharing quiet small talk like this for the past three hours and it was starting to show that Angeline had little experience in the matter. Her time with Erik had proven unhelpful in this, as he rarely enjoyed engaging in an only half-interesting conversation. He had argued that if discussions were to occur, they should have meaning.
Angeline looked out the window of the train, watching France blur by at an almost frightening speed. She thought it odd how she found herself thinking of Erik, but he was her only other friend, plus she lived with him. Still, though, his voice rang in her ears like music, his eyes pierced through the veil of her false comfort in life, and his touch warmed her skin like nothing ever had before. This was going to be a long month, of that she was certain.
A/N: I know, I know, kinda short. What can I say, I hate goodbyes. The next chapter will be much longer, I assure you, though I am afraid I will not be releasing it until Thursday. I will be travelling, so no new updates until I am more grounded (I really hate air travel). And no, I'm not going to Provence like Angeline, it just happened to line up that way (though it really does sound pretty).