Thank you to all my loyal readers, I'm very glad that people are enjoying this little bit of insanity.

You thought I had abandoned you, didn't you?

http : / bit . ly / pLdXdB is the primary list that I'm picking from, feel free to e-mail with suggestions for more.

Fortune seemed to have smiled on Harry, Hermione, and the twins as they were wandering lost in the woods between Hogwarts and Ottery St. Catchpole. After all, they hadn't the first idea where they were in relation to the Burrow, but after a visit by one snow white owl, they made excellent time. The trip in total took them five days, after they turned towards the south-east instead of the south-west. Luckily they were able to pick up a few meals here and there with the galleons Harry still had left-over from the start of the year in his pocket. Unfortunately, the houses they stopped at were hermits in the wizarding world and didn't have a floo connection to get them home sooner.

A meal with the Weasleys, with a retelling of the events leading up to the destruction of Hogwarts, later Harry and Hermione were spirited away in the back of Arthur's Ford Angela while Molly recovered from her fainting spell in bed. Harry was a bit more than glad to be gone from the house, as he was certain their little sister kept staring at him the entire time, and that Molly was going to stuff them to exploding.

What met them at the Granger's house had seemed an odd contrast to the Weasley's home, save for the smothering hug and fretting from Mrs. Dr. Granger. After another retelling of the events, with Harry trying to play down the heroics that Hermione kept trying to insist he did, it was decided that he'd be more than welcomed to stay with them for the next few weeks.

The next thing he knew, he was waking from a nap in the back of the Granger's car, Hermione snoozing on his shoulder, as they found themselves looking at what to most kids their age would be the most magical of places. It was just a fast food place with a playland, but after getting a burger, chips, and a shake, it was by far the best one Harry could ever remember going to. The doctors Granger even ordered a bacon cheeseburger, which they saved the bacon for Hedwig from.

Closing his eyes in anticipation for the taste of the juicy, glorious looking Hamburger, it came as quite the surprise when he tasted something completely different. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring into a roasted chicken sandwich with mashed potatoes and vegetables. Turning in his seat, he found Ron wolfing down mounds of food, and on the other side of him Hermione looking just as horrified. A little ways down the table, the twins seemed to be half-ready to hug Percy who was lecturing them over something.

As they were about to say something, a blond haired girl walked over with a plastic tray, on which was the food he'd ordered just before he closed his eyes. "Blasted time loop." She muttered, "Don't blow the school up this time."

Taking the tray from the girl in stunned confusion, he tried to point to Ron, or any of the others that seemed unable to see this strange girl. Instead he seemed to be suffering from a seizure of some sort as his brain attempted to process what happened. What had she meant about a time loop? How did she know about the explosion? WHAT THE HELL?

Before he could vocalize any of these questions, the great and powerful Dumbledore rose in his seat, drawing all attention to him. "Attention students! There is good news, we have managed to get a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor after Professor Quirrell's untimely departure..."

Once again Harry felt a strange mix of guilt and satisfaction, but that soon was overwhelmed by a looming sense of dread as he realized where this was going. He'd been looped back to when that... woman had been picked, except the man who was in her place looked... eccentric.

Oh he looked like a professor alright, with his tweed suit, pressed shirt, and bow-tie, but the effect was utterly ruined by the wild mess of his hair, and the spastic look on his face. "Please welcome Professor... Let me see..." Dumbledore began, his next words drowned out by the professor blowing his nose rather loudly, before he finished with, "Also known as The Doctor."

"The Doctor will be fine," the new comer offered after tucking away his handkerchief, flashing a rather strange looking wand in his coat pocket. As far as Harry knew there had never been a metal wand made. The Doctor looked straight at Harry with a huge smile for a moment, before addressing the school as a whole. "Students, I hope to have a wonderful year with you, and ask that you please bear with my eccentricities. Also, I understand there is a tradition of the Defense teacher targeting one particular student... does anyone know the who is the current student?"

Dumbledore facepalmed rather noticeably at the table, before speaking in a stern voice, "That is NOT the tradition, Mr." Dumbledore began, for the man to decide to blow his nose again.

"Sorry... This castle is incredibly drafty. And I thought I told you to call me 'The Doctor'. I hate that name. Brings back bad memories," the eccentric man corrected before scanning the student body, noticing that Harry seemed suddenly void of eating companions save one bushy haired brunette. "Very well in keeping with tradition... Those two first years... yes you with the messy black hair and your female companion, please stand up. Yes, you two will serve the position nicely. I want you to meet me outside the blue police box just outside the great hall."

Hermione's squeak made Harry realize something was up, and suddenly the still hot burger and icy shake on the tray in his hands didn't seem so appetizing to him. As he looked at them, however, he noticed the napkin had some writing on it. "Trust The Doctor, he's eccentric, but he won't get you killed. L. Lovegood." Harry read, before wondering if he shouldn't trust the mysterious napkin of fortune, turning it over to read, "By the way, eat your burger, or you'll never get to know if it's any good... and hope you don't mind but Hermione's about to grab your chips."

As he finished reading, Hermione absently grabbed a handful of the chips off the tray, and Harry blink-blinked. Maybe it was time to trust some random piece of paper with oddly prophetic qualities, peeling back the wrapper he began eating the burger, much to the envy of some of his tablemates. The burger and strawberry shake had been just as good as he had imagined them to be. He didn't notice the blond haired woman in her late teens walk up to the new DADA professor, and hand him a wand, for him to look guilty.

"Sorry, Luna, but I grabbed the wrong thing..." he offered her sheepishly, "Anyway, best get going, or they'll notice you early."

With a wink, a nod and a tap of the strange boxy device on her wrist, she disappeared in a shimmer of light. He then got up, and showed Harry and Hermione to the TARDIS, handing the fast food tray to a confused house elf as he passed.

The adventures of The Doctor, Harry, Hermione and Luna will be done in a seperate story, and No Hear will continue after they have returned.