Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Twinkle, Twinkle, little Bat. How I wonder what you're at. Up above the world you fly, like a teatray in the sky.

Sorry, I've been as Mad as a Hatter recently!

Who taught this man how to drive?

Tires squealed on asphalt as they twisted and turned around Gotham's streets. Harley had regained a bit of her head as the cop car sped through town. Instantly, she felt extremely grateful that the Joker had strapped her into her seat.

Harley screamed aloud as they almost collided with a semi crossing an intersection. The driver honked angrily and pulled to an abrupt halt causing another string of cars to smash into it. Bits of metal flew everywhere and she covered her eyes.

The Joker, oblivious to her discomfort, cackled madly behind the wheel,

"See Dollface, this... This is why I do what I do."

She only yelped and pointed to another car coming their way.

He swerved at the last second, allowing the car to catch the passenger-side mirror. Tension was building up inside her; she was either going to have a mental breakdown, pass out, or explode.

The explosion came in an odd manner. Her new voice joined his in laughter as cars flew by. Completely abandoned his driving to gawk at the woman next to him, the Joker didn't turn fast enough and the car got clipped in the back. She giggled madly as they spun around in circles.

Maybe David had rattled her brains.

"You feelin' okay, Harl?"

He extended a hand to touch her forehead, but Harley ducked under his arm and spun the steering wheel sharply to the left.

"Uh-oh, Mistah J. We got company!"

Another set of headlights lit their rear-view mirrors. Batsy.

"Hold on... let's- uh... see if he likes this."

Another sharp turn landed them in the middle of a sidewalk ploughing a path through the people walking there. Batman followed from the road, too noble to follow. Harley leaned out her window to shout at the people,

"Outta the way! Move it or lose it People!... Student Driver!! Ooh, thanks for the hat."

She yanked one off of a haughty-looking woman as they passed.

"Whatcha think of it, Boss?"

He barely cast a glance at her,

"Gorgeous."

"I don't like it," she said, tossing the hat at the Batmobile following them.

It landed square on the windshield.

Screams came from everywhere as the cop car spun down from the curb and hit into the side of the black tank in their pursuit. Batman pulled the thing to a screeching halt, skidding several feet and spinning in loops.

Airbags deplored from anywhere possible, knocking the wind out of Harley even as she tried to laugh. This car was totaled.

A flash of silver and the airbags burst, opening a path out.

Grabbing a pistol for herself and a shotgun for her Puddin', Harley dove out through what was left of the windshield. More screams from everywhere. People were so panicked, Harley knew that they could hardly be spotted amongst the masses.

And the Joker wasn't in his usual gear; the purple suit and grease paint was left at Arkham. At a glance they looked fairly normal. Still, she ran in a dead sprint, pushing through the ocean of people fleeing the road.

Batman was nowhere to be seen; there was nothing but the sea of heads in front of her and behind her. A sharp shove to the back sent her sprawling to the ground. Hundreds of feet threatened to trample her as Harley fought to get up.

She couldn't see the Joker; where was he? Suddenly panic gripped her just as tightly as everyone around her and she felt alone despite the bodies everywhere.

A hand grabbed her by the elbow and steered her off to the side of the alley. She couldn't see who it was, but she had a 50/50 guess. It was either the Batman or the Joker.

A door opened and engulfed them, closing out the hysteria of the streets. The new room was dark and smelled old; it hadn't been used in a while.

"Like my- uh, Batcave?"

The room was filled with old equipment and something that resembled an assembly line. Where were they?

She turned to see the Joker. A squeal of relief propelled her into his arms. He caught her with ease and locked her in a deep kiss for several seconds.

"We did it-" she breathed, "we broke outta Arkham."

"I'm the Joker, Dollface, what'd ya expect?"

Her previous question returned to mind as she looked around,

"Hey Puddin' where exactly are we?"

"Old shipping company... picked it for the name."

He gestured to the old machines.

Funni-Bone Shipping Co.

Perfect.