AN: BACK! Determined to finish this. Patience. 3 C.
Day 15, week no. 3 - Crossing out options
All was silent when a new dawn crept over Konohagakure.
Speckles of dust twirled in the cold rays of light while the urban districts stayed quiet and still, void of life that just a few hours prior had been present, with only a few early birds disrupting the slumbering peace with their shrill caws.
As it skipped over the roofs and the streets, the brisk morning light brushed against the quietly humming barriers that surrounded a small, light-gray house situated in a nondescript block. Quietly, the light crawled over the high fence, dashed over the backyard and gave a flicking pause at the faint stains that spotted some parts of the wooden terrace. It then searched for an entrance, peeking through every crack, nook and gap to reach the inhabitants of the household, its increasing brightness filtering through windows and chasing the cobwebs of the lingering night away.
It was the brightness of the light that made narrow, mismatched eyes to open with a drowsy blink, the dark rings under them belying of a restless night. A deep breath followed the opening of the eyes that were now focusing their look at the ceiling above the awakening man. A pale hand emerged from beneath the duvet to give a sleepy rub over the masked face and the silvery mane when Hatake Kakashi, the famed genius to his name, let his body wake up after a sleepless night.
As the things were, no matter how lazy the others accused him of being, it could be said that at that moment the drowsy elite honestly didn't feel at all inclined to get out of his bed and face the new day.
Namely, to face it meant that he would also have to face the matters that awaited him.
Kakashi let his hand fall onto his chest and his eyes to observe the wooden ceiling above his sleepy figure while his sharp ears listened to the sounds around him, there being one sound in particular that he was after. When the steady snuffling coming from an other room reached his ears, the infamous jounin dared to roll onto his front and prop himself up on his elbows while he peered at the sight that greeted him between the open doors that led to the training room.
His dark brown tresses were tangled all over the pillow and his dark eyes were closed as Iruka slept on his futon inside their training room, the chuunin's lightly clothed chest rising and falling in the rhythm of his quiet breaths. The tan man laid on his back, his lithe frame sprawled over the bedding with one arm thrown over his head, and yet despite the current appearances it looked to Kakashi that he may not have been the only one who had troubles catching sleep. As it was, there were lines of tension visible on the sun-kissed face, with the full-lipped mouth drawn into a slight frown and the dark eyebrows lightly furrowed, the positions of hands and legs undoubtedly a result of some turning and tossing.
Apparently the jounin hadn't been the only one wondering what the morning may bring along.
With that thought in mind, the silver-haired man slowly eased himself up on his bed. Carefully, the lean legs stretched out from underneath the comforter and the lanky man straightened up, only a couple of snaps and cracks of a seasoned soldier's body following his silent steps as he tip-toed to the door that opened to the corridor and then let the breaking daylight nip at his heels as he entered the hallway. On his way, the ex-ANBU popped briefly into the small toilet to perform the everyday routines of the human body before ambling to the open kitchen, more precisely towards the two mundane kitchen appliants that were waiting for him on the kitchen counter. As per the established routine, the tanks were filled, the cups were measured, and after a few moments of general puttering, the sounds of softly clattering china as well the bubbling of warming water pushed the last of the loitering night away.
After the start he had given for the day, the jounin gave a passing look at his scant sleepwear and then backtracked back to the bedroom to pull on the sweats – only to stop on the threshold of the bedroom as he was greeted with a sight of one awakened chuunin rising up on elbows and looking at him blearily.
Given a moment of observation, Kakashi decided not to comment on the odd angles that the dark-skinned man's hair had somehow tousled itself into, or the dark rings under the man's eyes, but went with the more diplomatic approach: "Good morning."
By a way of answering, the sleepy chuunin squinted at the boxer-clad jounin who stood by the door while the dark eyebrows drew down in question before the man spoke: "Morning. What time is it?" The warm baritone was rough from the edges, and a dry cough followed the speech while the slanted eyes turned to look at the bright light that was filtering into the training room and over the restlessly slept tan nin, it highlighting his high cheeks and the strong tendons of his throat.
"Half past six," Kakashi replied, the jounin letting his gaze linger on the other man a bit more before he took the needed steps to reach for his sweats and thus to get his thoughts back from the gutter. "I'm making some breakfast," he said, half of him wondering about his sudden chatty mood while he pulled on the pants, "I could make you some tea." As soon as his mouth had said that, he gave a passing glance to the man still lounging on the futon – in order to see what exactly, he didn't know.
What the ex-ANBU did know, however, was that the indecisive flicker between either declining or accepting the offer that passed over the other's scarred face wasn't quite what he had been after.
On the other hand, the chuunin didn't manage to hide the following tinge of red that spread on his cheeks, no matter how much the man rubbed his scarred nose: "Um. Darjeeling would be nice. Once you're at it."
Despite the lack of sleep making him feel more out of place than what he undoubtedly would have felt in any case, there was no helping the warm grin stretching the fabric of the jounin's mask; for what reason, he wasn't about to analyze before his first dose of caffeine. "Alright. Join me when you're ready." With that said, the silver-haired man turned to head back into the kitchen. The half of him that wondered what was his game with prancing around half-naked and showing off his legs to the man who he had left staring after his exit was promptly put on hold.
He had some darjeeling to hunt.
Luckily they still had some dishes left from which he could serve the breakfast, albeit eating lunch and dinner from the small snack-sized bowls and plates may turn out to be an interesting experiment. They should also have a closer look at the leftovers that Teuchi-san's visit had left them with – he was sure one of the boxes wibbled a bit when he looked at it.
With such thoughts circling in his mind, it was somewhere between slicing up a pear and arranging the cut chunks of a peach on a small plate when Kakashi came to sense the other male approaching him. "It won't take long," he called over his shoulder, knowing that the other was fully aware of him picking up their presence, "the drinks are already outside." He didn't need to see either the thankful nod or the chuunin stepping outside to feel a small measure of ease drop in between them two.
On the other hand, as the sliced pear accompanied the peach chunks on the tray he then picked up, the elite spy also knew that they both knew better.
One step at a time, he let himself walk out of the kitchen door and onto the terrace, his mismatched eyes squinting against the bright morning light before the gray eye sought out the sight of the dark-haired man who already sat on the wooden floorboards, a steaming cup of tea held in his tan hands. The teacher looked at the scenery in thought before he turned to glance at the jounin who stopped some steps away from him.
"It tastes good. Thank you," Iruka said with a small smile on his face, and the jounin took it in good graces despite the small lines of strain he saw marking the corners of the full-lipped mouth.
"Maa, considering how many times you've made me coffee I thought it's only proper to return the favor once in a while," Kakashi heard himself drawl aimlessly while he eased down on the porch and set the tray of foods between them two before taking his coffee.
As it was, a dry snort was his answer. "Knowing how late you always are with your 'whiles' it's best to savor this moment, then," the chuunin mocked back, his joking words light as the breeze that twirled around his ponytail. Yet the look in the slanted eyes wasn't on the same track with them, the trained assassin noted, once the man turned back to sip his drink.
While the morning brightened around their beloved village, they sat in silence, both nins sipping their drinks and chewing on the light breakfast. If they noticed how they sat a bit further away from each other, how both carefully avoided touching the other's hand while taking the fruits from the plate or how they gave brief glances to one another whenever they thought that the other didn't see it, neither was willing to comment on it.
However, neither of them anticipated the startled expressions they saw on each other's faces when their eyes met over the last piece of fruit.
"...I'll go get some more tea," Iruka offered after a beat of stunned silence, the quick smile on his face riddled with surfacing nerves, and the teacher mentally cursed the blush he felt rushing to his cheeks as he stood up. Then, for some odd suicidal reason, as he had walked past the older man he turned around and gave a vague gesture at the other's empty coffee cup. "..Uh. Would you like a refill?"
The surprised look that he caught in the other's gray eye carried something that made him lose himself briefly into his thoughts, which didn't make it easier to control the embarrassing twitch his body gave as the jounin offered the cup to him.
"Maa, if that's no trouble," Kakashi murmured as he accepted the unexpected offer, yet the awkward, guarded alertness that took over both the chuunin's body and the man's expressive face made him wonder for a second until it hit him.
Ah.
Slowly, he set the cup down on the floor while estimating the safe distance between himself, the cup and the other man who then quietly took the cup and walked briskly to the kitchen, leaving the silent elite alone on the porch.
For a moment, he let his eye follow the path the younger nin had taken, and when he turned back to observe the glimpse of their awakening village over the fence, Kakashi gave a frown at the remnants of their breakfast.
The fruit bit was left untouched.
A yawn broke out despite his efforts and Iruka let a hushed curse drop from his lips. He hadn't dared to look at himself in the toilet mirror that morning, knowing that he undoubtedly still felt worse than what he looked like. Albeit seeing how awkward the morning between him and the other man was turning out to be, it wasn't giving him much of a comfort.
The non-subtle clinks of the tableware were hopefully enough to cover the put-out sigh that left him, although he didn't give himself much hope on that.
Luckily neither of the cups in his hands were a kunai considering that by the time he headed back to the terrace he felt like stabbing himself just a little, the warmth seeping through the porcelain doing nothing to ground him in the situation. However, once he stopped by the door and gave a proper look at the lone man sitting on the terrace, there was something that made his inner rant stop at the sight of the older shinobi's familiar slump and the bored look on the masked face.
"You didn't sleep at all last night, did you," he suddenly stated aloud, sounding oddly collected to his own ears. Yet he barely kept himself from taking an instinctive step back when the jounin straightened his posture for one vertebra.
Although he did give a blink at the words that left the older male: "Maa, hearing how talkative you are this morning it makes me assume the same."
It spoke of their situation quite clearly for it to be only then that Iruka noticed the hidden stress coursing through the masked nin's seated body.
As it was, when it came to an offered truce, no matter how backhanded it may be, Iruka was aware that he hardly had the luxury to decline. "It was rather terrible, I admit," he amended, his voice a pinch warmer than the chill of the dawning day. "I guess there's only hoping that we've both slept enough to prevent anything odd from occurring before Tsunade-sama gets here," he dryly chatted to distract the odd sensations he felt crawling under his skin the moment when he plopped down on the wooden porch, carefully balancing the cups he held as he settled down back to his spot next to the silver-haired man.
Without a word, the coffee cup was placed between them on a tray, from which it was taken by the pale hands. "Well, considering that possibility with the current situation it is something better to avoid," Kakashi drawled lazily, his focus held on the steaming drink until he directed a sidelong look at the tan man. "Since I'm not in the mood for any outbreaks today."
The tea cup stayed still in his hands, yet his insides roared like a tide hitting the pier at what was said. "Then that makes two of us," Iruka countered, his voice hardening considerately before he caught himself, not for the first time berating himself for his too quickly flaring temper when the echo of his words tasted foul on his suddenly dry tongue.
The caws of the birds were heard over their heads as there was once more nothing said between them, the chuunin frowning at his tea and the jounin nursing his dark roast with restless fingers.
Halfway through the heavily quiet mood, the tan hands gripped tighter the frail cup they held, the knuckles almost turning white when a decision was made in the dark-haired teacher's mind. "..You know," the voice of the academy instructor began once more, this time more composed than what it had been only a moment ago, "when my students find themselves in a situation where they cannot address the problem directly, I always tell them to work around the dilemma as long as it takes until they find the key to solve the issue straight on. The method to do so is chosen freely, and it can even be modified or replaced with others, but the goal should always be kept clearly in sight." A fond chuckle, at odds with the serious tone the man had expressed earlier, warmed the air around them despite the fact that Iruka kept his back to the other. "They always complain that it is easier said than done."
A quiet, nonsensical hum left the older male at those words, but there was no trace of dismissal heard in it. On the contrary, Kakashi would have lied if he said he wasn't relieved to see that the chuunin was still willing to seek common ground with him, despite the tension he felt snapping in the air between them. "Maa. In the field, I always tell the teams to concentrate more on the actual reasons and mechanics that lie underneath the mission goals and strategies rather than just pushing their way blindly through. That way they are more likely aware of the consequences that their acts will cause." His voice tattled of a warm smile forming beneath the dark mask. "Maybe that's why some of the teams I've had accuse me of leaving most of the thinking to them and complain that I'm just tagging along for the thrills."
Instead of focusing on the shivers of undefined tension that slithered up his spine at the change of tone he could hear in the jounin's voice, Iruka laughed briefly at the older man's words. "That sounds awfully like what Naruto would say," he said once the sudden streak of humor had died, yet there was no helping the grin that stayed on his tan face for a beat longer than it had in the past couple of days. However, after they had settled with a more amiable silence lingering around them, his next words carried sentiments that were the reason for his thinning smile. "But they will learn. Thinking up a solution for a stressful problem is never an easy process."
"...No, it isn't," the jounin agreed, his low voice quiet and pensive, while his thoughts picked up the pace with his adrenaline levels, his ears ringing with the quietness that dropped by once again, the passing smile on the masked lips transforming into a small frown. Paying no attention to the cautious look he was given over the other's shoulder, the acclaimed genius of his hidden village let out a silent sigh before squinting at the bright morning light that shone over them. "Though usually, in the end, the correct solutions are painfully easy."
Iruka let out a commenting hum, his dark eyes distant for a minute before he turned around to face the pondering jounin. "I've spent many years thinking about that. Sometimes, I came to the conclusion that the pain is optional."
There wasn't much the ex-ANBU could say to that, given his personal career path, but he understood the point. "Then I assume that you consider such as the better options," Kakashi noted and gave a look at his mission partner.
His fingers had become restless, tapping against his crossed arms, but Iruka kept the rest of his body in control. Alas, that didn't mean that his mouth was in agreement with his physique. "That is a dangerous thing to say. You of all people should understand that."
When neither of them were apparently coming up with anything else to add, the silence settled on their shoulders once again and they turned looking away from each other, both men keenly aware of the weight of the unspoken that pressed down on their necks.
...Or rather one elephant in particular that they both sensed sitting down snugly between them.
"...Alright. I'll go first, then," Iruka said while trying to ignore the knot of dread tightening inside his gut as he began: "It seems to me that, given our primary goals for this mission, it is futile for us to continue until we regain the control of our bodies to the level where we can be of use to Tsunade-sama's research. As the previous days clearly show, we cannot touch or even be near each other without stumbling over difficulties." The huff of a quiet breath he heard from the other man, on the other hand, softened the line of his shoulders enough to make the frown of discomfort ease from his brow as the chuunin glanced at his masked mission partner.
"I suppose that is one way to put it," Kakashi agreed, with unexpected humor to his words as the older male answered the gaze with his gray eye – yet despite the lightness of the response, there was a reserved glint visible, which was expected.
"However," the chuunin let himself go on after gathering his shortly scattered thoughts, "Tsunade-sama has, on a couple of occasions, changed the missives to suit better the current situation, which now concerns more about the developments happening in our elements and thus in our physical bodies rather than how many bruises and muscle strains she can count on us. In that case, the mission is still running."
After reaching the silent count to twenty birds flying over their heads, Kakashi's took it as his cue to reel their team back on track before the rest of the elephants were given time to start stomping on their backs. It wasn't as unnerving as he had thought, to hear the other say aloud what he had swirled and analyzed in his mind for most of the past night. Yet the jounin found himself disagreeing with what he could hear between the lines. "I don't think aborting the mission is the solution."
"Then what would you suggest?" The flash of the fiery temper in the dark eyes had been absent for so long that it took the jounin a second to register it when the academy instructor directed his glare at the older nin. "Didn't you pay any attention to what we were told yesterday? Things may become irreversible unless we find a way to reign the impulses and regain the control over the situation. If we're unable to -"
"Enough." That one word, so calmly spoken yet with such a strong ring of authority, made the argument stop on its tracks before it had gained enough momentum, and while he observed how the younger shinobi visibly restrained his sharp tongue, the man's nostrils flaring before letting a deep breath flow in and out a couple of times, Kakashi let his thoughts take form: "You're getting too far ahead of the situation. I agree that we can't operate the same way we have until now, and as an active field agent I do get the frustration it causes considering that technically we're only halfway through with this, but getting carried away with speculations and what ifs rarely plays for anyone's benefit when it comes to completing a mission. You surely know that." He may have sounded harsher than he intended, but the look crossing the other's face wasn't one of upset nor embarrassment, much to his pleased notice. Yet what he did see passing in the dark brown eyes made him break eye contact with the tan man at the same time when the chuunin turned to stare at the tea still held in his hands.
For all the noise that came behind the fence, the both men heard nothing except their own thoughts.
Then, the tan hands set down the frail cup before smoothing their way over the tied hair, from forehead to the base of the ponytail, before backtracking their way over the sun-kissed cheeks and scarred nose in order to prop the strong jaw resting on their knuckles when the man leaned on his elbows against his knees. "There are many factors to process. More than any of us anticipated."
There were, Kakashi agreed. He had come to terms with that last night. With that taken into consideration, perhaps it was time to take things to a next level. "Let's try to re-route a bit. As it is, we have two main types of factors that we have to take into account at the moment: the physiological ones, and then the psychological ones. It also appears that one of those factor types is currently dominating over the other, which makes it imperative for us to react to that. Undoubtedly you have also noticed that I'm not pleased with the course that things have taken, either." The mild glare from the teacher was impressive on its own, and had he not found himself prancing on a proverbial trigger, the jounin would have commended the man for effectively reflecting the said with his face. Thus, he could not help but add the final dot in place. "I'm well aware of the responsibilities I have failed to meet as the team leader, but I'm not ignorant towards your contributions to this mess either."
On those words, Iruka groaned and buried his head into his hands, his high ponytail swishing in tempo with the shake of his head while the instructor fervently hoped that the heat on his cheeks hadn't reached his ears.
"Makes one appreciate the insanity of S ranks doesn't it," Kakashi quipped dryly to no one in particular while feeling relieved that his mask hid most of his lightly reddening face, and smiled at the light chortle that came from the younger shinobi before he forced his tapping leg to still and gave a sidelong glance at the man in question.
"You have a thing for twisting up every mission, don't you," stated the chuunin as he dropped his hands from his face, his expression impassive and challenging despite the lingering red on his face, yet there was once more the odd undercurrent that surfaced beneath the words that the jounin took notice in.
"As well you seem to have a kink for littering your trail with riddles," the jounin heard himself answer, casual yet all teeth, taking meek amusement from the sight of the rising hackles on the other.
Unexpected to many who knew them, neither were keen to provoke further the friction that shortly frizzled between them, both letting the brewing argument dissolve – until the infamous man of many cursed fates counted his blessings and spoke once more, hoping that the manner of his speech conveyed what his past lives made difficult to verbalize. "...Of course, enduring each other's company for the time being would be a different matter to discuss -"
However, he had no time to elaborate when the academy instructor stood up and stepped down to the yard, the sudden change in the man's demeanor tattling of a furious internal debate as he paced a few steps back and forth before rounding back to look at the older nin with an unimpressed frown etched on the sun-kissed forehead, the tan hands put firmly on the narrow hips. Considering their common history, Kakashi was loathe to admit he knew the meaning of that particular stance all too well by now, and the part of him that had been acquainted with the consequences of such posture swallowed a bag of caltrops when the teacher opened his mouth.
"Hatake, if you're seriously suggesting to integrate casual mission sex into our daily interaction with unchecked and severely unpredictable factors that we are currently facing on this mission you're more unhinged than I thought." The words cut like a sharp blade, smooth and cool – yet the look the chuunin had in his eyes was heated enough to light up a furnace.
For a few beats, the accused man in question said nothing as he sat and watched the other glaring back at him, as if he had not heard him at all. When Kakashi started to speak, however, the low voice was cool as a blizzard: "I wonder what that says about you, since there's always some madness put into the methods for those who work with jounins, sensei. Furthermore," he drawled as he stood up on the porch to take the first step to the yard, not missing how the teacher took subtle steps back on each step he advanced, "I didn't say that I considered that as an option. You formed that idea all by yourself."
He knew the younger man was smart enough to see what he was pulling, but that was not such a big concern when he was far more interested to see if the fire in the other's dark eyes could turn any hotter.
Given the teacher's infamous temper, the ex-ANBU wasn't disappointed: the fire became absolutely vivid. At the slow, considering tilt of the other's silver-haired head, a menacing frown formed on the sun-kissed forehead while the edge in the chuunin's gaze turned hard as steel when he continued: "Is that what this ultimately is, stripping me down to gain the upper hand?"
The rise of a silvery eyebrow was a far cry from being serious. "You wish to feed scenes into all of my dirty little fantasies, Umino?"
Iruka could feel his ponytail bristle one hair by one due to the way the other man's words made his insides recoil, the dark strands standing up in attention with his rising fighting spirit. Before he even knew it, he was already speaking. "This is why I want to drop out. You're asking me to lower my guard yet at the same time the way you approach this situation is making it impossible to separate subterfuge from honest intentions. Should we continue like this – I am a shinobi: I endure. I get that, I even teach that. Therefore on a mission there should not be a situation where I am unwilling to endure because I am a shinobi." As he spoke, something was bleeding into his voice, yet Iruka refused to discern what it was, as the only sound he wanted to concentrate on was the beating of his own pulse. "With that in mind, I'm failing to see how continuing the mission would stop this mess from spiraling out of control more than it has." Seeing the look on the older nin's masked face, it seemed that the elite was finally catching onto the same page with him. With that, he couldn't help but keep his gaze on the man with whom he had shared so many strange moments up until then, a small sigh of exhaustion escaping through the cracks of his mental barrier. "...I'm afraid we're reaching an impasse."
The silence fell and held between them, both men watching one another intently over the ground that felt cool against their bare feet, the morning dew still clinging to the soil while the morning sun followed its path over the village of Konoha, home to many shinobis like them: weapons with whimsical spirits and fragile bodies of flesh, beings who were both masters and victims of their trade.
Kakashi let the silence be, let his gray eye take in the horizontal scar that cut across the other's high cheeks, the stance of the strong body, the slope of the sun-kissed neck and the planes of the sculpted chest; the characteristics of a man who now waited for the consequences of what had been let out in the open.
"..It's hard to let go of bad habits at this age," Kakashi mused, his voice calm and low, and let a weak smile play on his masked lips at the barely concealed shock he saw in the younger man's eyes. Then the jounin took a couple of steps away from the other nin, if only to give them both some space to calm down. The gray eye gave a brief look to the world outside the fence, as if the pale man needed a moment to find the right words. "Last night, when we talked, it became clear that neither of us had anticipated the way how things have progressed between us. Like you, I'm not amused with this mess either, and wish to set things on the right track."
A frustrated groan left Iruka's mouth before the elite could carry on. "It's not the question of what, it's how, which is something we should have thought about already a week ago."
However lost on the road of life he occasionally ended being, the ex-ANBU did not miss the tension that had taken over the chuunin's body, the sight of the dark brown eyes narrowing, or the sound of the man swallowing, when he gave a proper look at the other. He gave himself a moment, briefly paying attention to the possibility of having his next words blow up to their faces. They were both fools apparently. "Then let me rephrase: how is it possible that you can fluently transcribe a completely butchered mission report and thus salvage it into something intelligent enough to be worthy of filing and yet fail to get the semantics when I am not asking you to merely endure but to work through this mess with me instead of treating me like an enemy?"
Had they been anywhere else than on that very mission having that very conversation, the look that crossed the pedantic bureaucrat's scarred face after his words were received would have made a fine memory for Kakashi to cherish for years. A part of him that wasn't suddenly gearing up both with his hormones and self-preserving instincts at the sight of the dark brown eyes staring back at him on a blushing tan face made a mental note to hold onto that thought.
After regaining the control of his eyebrows, Iruka pulled them back down from his hairline while the gears in his head were given a prompt kickstart. "...Well," he mused when he looked at the older man, and while he waited for his mind to whir back into motion to properly start analyzing what he had heard, Iruka registered that his palms were sweaty, and that there was a pull he could not control taking over the corners of his mouth. "At least Konoha thanks us for the fact that I can't punch you right now."
There is, some claim, a particular sound that one can hear when a string that is wound up too tight snaps inside a void.
A sudden bark of laughter burst from beneath the dark mask as the silver-haired jounin, the most feared finely bred weapon of Konohagakure, reacted to the unexpected snipe, followed soon by loudly ringing chuckles of Konoha's second most feared instructor. As they laughed, their voices warm and bright like the light that shone upon them, the two men paid no attention to the elephants that were shuffling restlessly around them, their jaws hurting and eyes watering when the mental exhaustion resulting from the badly slept nights and bizarre days pushed itself out of their bodies.
Yet such was the nature of fatigue that it didn't take long for them to fall silent again, with only a couple of coughs lightening the tangibly embarrassed hush that pinched their cheeks on its way out.
When the moment had passed, Iruka turned his eyes away from the jounin who gave a light frown at the serious look that took place on his face. "But to tell the truth, considering the practicality of the options you've used so far it isn't exactly encouraging me to embrace your bright ideas," the teacher cut the mood with more venom than he may have intended, but he knew that now when they were actually pushing the issue he would be sure to push equally hard. "You're the last person I need to needle me about my behavior."
Kakashi didn't add anything to that, seeing that the instructor already knew what he his reply would be. Instead, he let his eyes look at the sky above them, settling his posture in a more relaxed manner while mulling the next topic on his clever tongue. "The cause and the effect are not as directly connected as they seem." Not surprisingly, the teacher huffed. Kakashi was briefly tempted to do the same, yet he kept his gaze on the clouds; somehow, gazing at them made it easier to state the facts that had been waiting to tumble out: "Yesterday it became clear that these things happen on an impulse, something that triggers an action either in one or both of us. It also became clear that whatever it is that is controlled by the impulses has developed further in my body which is feeding off its reactions into yours to some extent." The jounin gave a mental groan at the words he remembered Tsunade using on him before going forward: "Yet it also seems that your triggers are autonomous on some level, which now has brought us to a rather peculiar point on this mission."
"You mean we actually don't know which one of us worked as the key trigger for this mess," Iruka filled in, his frown mirroring the determined concentration every shinobi had when working on a baffling problem. "There's no consistency between the causes and the effects, at least not any obvious pattern to follow except for the growing frequency and the drive for a physical connection to trigger a reaction."
The facts that the last night provided them were left unsaid but not ignored.
"It's also possibly connected to our levels of self-control and chakra power balance," Kakashi listed, absently counting the reasons and results that spiraled into a web of loose facts and dead-ends inside his mind. They could not track back their steps to get to the initial turning point when things had started to get strange since they had not paid attention to them during the mission, which didn't make it easy to discern how they had ended up to the point they now were. He felt like cursing their lack of thought, but the idea he had entertained for a while let him stay on track. "If we stop feeding it."
"Now is not the time to stick your smart mouth to places where others have a hard time to follow." The reply was swift as well as sharp from Iruka's side and he gave glare at the other man.
The slow, pointed look that Kakashi gave to the chuunin seemed to make the man understand the nature of his slip, with all things considered, if the deep red hue taking over the honey-toned ears was anything to go by.
"Referring to that," the elite let himself carry on while struggling to keep the surfacing mental images at bay, "we both know this has gone out of hands because we've been incoherent with our responses and have acted both according to our professional training and personal quirks in places that may have needed a different kind of approach. As you said before, the less we're unable to address the real issues, the worse they get, and the best way to end up with that outcome is to apply out-dated methods into a new type of problem. It's the same thing when we decided to go with the bell-chasing instead of beating each other to death."
"Then let me in to your thoughts," Iruka demanded, with cool-brewed annoyance heard in his tone, "since I'm having quite a hard time connecting this circling of yours to the plan you obviously have created in order to pull us out of this one. I don't need these tricks and traps that only benefit your sorry ass -"
That seemed to mark the cue for Kakashi who suddenly didn't care when he spoke over the other's provoking words: "I'm not the only one, am I." When hearing it, the chuunin stopped in mid-rant, and the look Kakashi got from the man was telling him things that made his thoughts to second guess themselves for a bit before he righted them back and steeled his backbone for what may come next.
Iruka stayed silent, his gaze fixing itself on the fence before his voice took the stage. "Not in the way you make it sound. Not when –" The dark eyes sharpened and turned to give a frustrated look at the muddy ground before settling to scowl somewhere in the vicinity of the other's pale shoulder before settling to answer the other's gaze.
For all that the older shinobi was, the man stood unusually rigid for a person with his slouch. "That was unexpected of you."
"I'd recommend you to check your people-reading skills if you thought that I'd start acting by a dictated script," Iruka rebuked deceivingly mildly while trying to focus more on the matters that had punched him in the gut rather than the other surfacing emotions that were regrouping in his hips. With that, he turned on his heels and called the other over his shoulder before taking his leave towards the terrace. "I've had enough. I already told you my opinion, and I still think that you're about to make a very stupid suggestion. I don't need that from you."
Considering the implications of such change in behavior, Kakashi gave his deductions the permission to turn into words. "The point in losing inhibitions is that at first there needs to be something that has to be inhibited." It dropped, heavy and deafening, as he called after the other man to banish the walls between them, the thought that had teased him during the past days until the latest hours ever since they had sat together on the terrace on the one fateful evening and he had let out the question that had not let go of his curiosity. "Denying the connections does not negate their existence."
It was paradoxically silly how the time could suddenly push and pull itself into frozen motion that still felt like it was hell-bent on breaking the sound barrier.
Alas, Iruka didn't spare a thought on such trivial things as he was too busy keeping himself under control when he spun around to face the man who was rather persistent in putting their name on his to-kill list. "What was that." Neither of them seemed to notice the lack of question in there, yet it didn't matter, as they were both already pulled into something that had started to form between them ever since that one late match performed at the same yard.
As it was, there were no traces of emotional hints on Kakashi's face. "Creatures of habit, didn't you say once." He took a step forward, and let himself walk closer to the other man despite the clash of sensations that clawed at his insides on every step. As he observed the other to take in what had been said, the ex-ANBU kept his gaze fixed on the younger man. The expression that spread on the sun-kissed face was, at first, hard for him to categorize: the mixture of apprehension, defiance and something that made his stomach do a backward flip. After a couple of steps, he stopped, and the gray eye turned up to peer at the blue sky above, the small breeze fluttering the mane of silver hair of the man who stood stock still for a quiet minute, hands in his pockets and a slouch to his stance, while sending out a faint wish that should the chuunin choose to throttle him it would be swiftly executed.
At the sight of the elite, Iruka felt a chill run down his spine – he didn't dare to think of it further but instead put his body on the move, dodging out of range and circling the pale man from the blind side. "Accusing me of selecting my remaining options doesn't entitle you to force my hand at your call, bastard."
"How low do you think my morals are?" Kakashi snapped back, and for a moment let himself scowl at the shocked blink he received from the younger man. Then, he took a deep breath in order to gain back his balance before continuing. "Look. I should have used my head properly in some situations, that I admit. But even you can't be this hung-up on our past fights." He could have sounded snippier had he not let his gaze turn to answer the look he could feel burning the side of his face, thus letting the teacher see the shadows that were briefly brought into light in his gray eye. "I think that you know that. Furthermore, I think you think you know what I have been thinking."
The sudden quietness from Iruka's side was more confirming to the statement when accompanied with the way the teacher suddenly refused to meet the jounin's eye.
The bodies of air thickened when there was nothing said to dispel them, mounting and circling around them, making it harder to distinguish how long they stayed like that, frozen into place like an oddly arranged snapshot.
His hands felt like ice against his burning skin. Failing to ignore it, Iruka rubbed his nose and chin while the dark eyes looked at everywhere else than the silent man before him, the teacher's concentration focused mostly on the heat he felt crawling further over his cheeks, ears, neck and chest. His body gave a pause at that while his internal voice let out a string of curses his students would be scandalized to hear coming from him. To counter the restlessness he could notice lurking at the forefront of his mind, he silently commanded his body to breathe, slow and deep, until he started to fit inside his skin once again.
That was the issue, a part of him pointed out.
Barely a second after that note, there began an itch under his skin, and he instantly knew when the man observing him took notice. What he also then knew was that it had only been a matter of when. "There's no possibility to know. Not like this."
"No," was the single word dropped between them, yet it felt like multiplying into thousands when Kakashi's low voice continued: "I can't say that there is."
Iruka didn't know if he should be embarrassed of his slow processing time or prepare himself for a seizure when his ingrained instincts made him suddenly notice several things that rushed into focus at once. "This is far from it. There's too many loose ends. Too many ifs."
"But not too many still," Kakashi offered evenly. "Though the level of challenge is understandable. It's hard to tell the truth when most of our income relies on habitual lying."
"Well, when you put it that way," he let himself agree weakly, and Iruka allowed a couple of dry chuckles to follow. What came out from his mouth after that, however, turned the chuckles into an awkward cough. "I guess the blame falls equally."
"As well the consequences." When everything was considered, that hit the closest to what they both knew needed to be put into words. When he noticed the sudden lack of expressions on the other's face, for a moment Kakashi wondered if he had read the man completely wrong. But when the younger nin's high cheeks tinged with red as the man squared his shoulders and focused his gaze up at the sky, he knew.
"…Suppose they do, then," was then put between them, yet spoken as if Iruka could not quite believe hearing himself say it. "There are plenty of options of what would become of it."
"There are," the jounin agreed with a small nod. Then, the man tilted his head to the side, as if trying to comprehend what he was seeing from a different angle. "Most of them include risks."
The quietness in the chuunin's reply was more than what they needed to see behind the words. "A shinobi is always aware of the risks."
"…Not merely a shinobi, necessarily." Kakashi could pinpoint the moment when his cheeks heated up after that notice had dropped out of his mouth. Well.
There was a saying of six seconds that he always found rather annoying [1], but when he took in the flush that became visible over the edge of the dark mask, and the following result of his heart deciding to hammer its way out of his chest, Iruka found himself counting. "…You have three seconds to explain yourself."
"Maa…" The speed for the jounin's hands to pull down the man's mask beat the chuunin to it. "I'd rather demonstrate."
The words were barely registered in his mind when a pair of soft lips and a tongue made an attempt to push them down into his throat, which Iruka readily let happen, opening his lips with a moan while blinking the fireworks of electric blue out of his vision. His hands grappled blindly for a good grip on the man's neck and sleeveless shirt, pulling the willing body flush with his own and his tongue tasted the tang of the foul curse the other choked on together with him when their minds were wiped completely white. The rush of haze overwhelmed him, making him feel both nauseous and enraptured at the same time when he crashed back down to the feel of teeth nipping at his earlobe, of strong fingers digging into his thigh, hips and legs steering him against the fence wall that thumped against his back.
"Kakashi," he breathed, husky and urgent, into the mouth he managed to grab for a taste, "wait -"
The man he spoke to, however, didn't seem to hear him the first time, and amid the sparkles of pleasure and mind-numbing sensations, the chuunin barely had the state of mind to resist from being picked up and squashed right between the older shinobi and the fence, his tan hands having a hard time deciding if they should stop the pale ones from cupping and groping his ass and thighs in such an obvious manner by grabbing them in turn, or just promptly slug the man in the nose and risk breaking it the second time. Luckily his tongue had not been rendered completely useless by that point: "I'll – ah, shit – kill you if you fuck me here in public."
Choked laughter rumbled from the older man at his words and the teacher would have felt smug had his body not made further contact with the other's hips then, more accurately with the hot hardness that dug into the pants fabric right next to his own. The resulting sizzle of heat that was ignited inside him boomed like thunder and made his eyes roll back, him barely hearing the keen sound that left the man embracing him.
By this point, Kakashi was faintly surprised that he could still decode in his fuzzy head what the dark-haired teacher was threatening him with, let alone throw a comment back: "Best not to, then."
The pangs of desire made him weak on the knees, which made him discard the option of slinging the younger man over his shoulder and carrying him to the nearest futon – admittedly he suspected if they would even make it there. The way one tan hand grabbed him by the head and made his nose bury itself into the tail of dark hair while the other pulled viciously at his top to reveal skin for the eager mouth that attacked his throat, neck and shoulder made him certain of that. That noted, his hands got serious with plucking the other man from merging with the fence and then bullying their way over the puddles and mud, up the step of the porch and slamming them against the nearest wall before he attacked the chuunin's sweats. "Better?"
"Yes -" When a pale hand grabbed him inside his pants, stroking from base to tip in feverish rhythm that made his hips roll in time with it, snapping up with a mixture of pre-come and semen being pumped out at the same time, Iruka let out a whine to all of it making it more difficult for him to reach for the cock he could feel burning a hole into the jounin's sweats. Once he did get ahold of it, however, he felt like dying when the older man's body gave a full-body shudder against him and the man squeezed him just so.
The second death came and collected them when the jounin had the terribly brilliant idea of working them both together, and even though he could end up bursting a vein or two in his head, Iruka, at that moment, was more than happy to give a hand in that as long they didn't stop.
He knew he was a genius, which probably meant something for the village, and yet Kakashi didn't give a flying fuck when his brain disintegrated with every pull and consequential shudder that tossed him into a tunnel-vision of blue and white, making him chase after the scents that filled his nose, the warmth of the man who was stroking them to final completion with him and the noises that made him twist his hold – fuck –
Oh dear kami-sama he didn't care if he was going to die was Iruka's only surviving thought before his dazed eyes crossed and his mind shut itself down under the barrage of needle-sharp electric impulses wrecking havoc in his writhing body, blowing up his mind and rushing to the tips of his toes, making them curl and dig into the wooden floor. His knees gave out, his thighs gripped desperately at the strong legs supporting him and he savored the play of firm muscles underneath the warm fabric while he incoherently encouraged the other to press him more firmly against the hard wall, not relenting in the grip or the movement, not the least, not yet, please not –
It was the expression on the other's face which he could see through the blue haze that did him in, the unrestrained, uncontrolled keen that rose from the man's throat which Kakashi swallowed like a greedy drunkard when he crashed their lips together and snapped off his leash; his mind erupting into million sparkles that scattered across the planes of pleasure, branding a hot line down his spine and releasing the pressure in his hips with irresponsible glee, making the pupils of the mismatched eyes flash bright blue as they stared unseeing at the wall of white steel that nailed him on passing.
Iruka didn't know when exactly he had started floating, but when he came down his legs were shaking uncontrollably, his lungs heaving like he had been held under water, ears ringing and something that distantly sounded like moaned curses flowing out of his slack mouth oh – oh fuck. The man who panted loudly against his ear seemed to agree with him, if the slurry mumbling and moaning was any confirmation considering the state they both were in. As a further proof for his muddled brain, the chuunin choked on a chuckle at the completely irrelevant, grateful thought that pointed out him to be still standing because of the heavily slumped jounin pinning him into place against the wall – if the way they still held onto each other's sticky lower parts had any role in that was still under debate somewhere in the other distant parts of his mind.
"What," croaked the low bass by his ear, hoarse and spent – and yet, there was a toothy smile pressed against the tan throat.
Iruka figured he could blame the disorienting chemical imbalance in his bloodstream for nuzzling the pale neck with his nose by a way of countering the question.
Before either of them could intelligently put together what then were the options for how they could proceed from there, however, there spoke a voice that made the blood that had almost managed to redistribute itself equally in their limbs to freeze to the last drop.
"I would like to know as well."
Feeling the jounin's mouth clamp against his throat didn't help beating off the dark red hue that overcame the exposed teacher's cheeks, adding to the fact that not only did he then realize to have an unmasked Hatake meshing his face with his jugular but his and the said elite's fisted hands were still holding onto the apparent evidence that was by some irrational strike of luck somewhat hidden thanks to the pale man's body blocking the most of it from the group of people that crowded on the terrace.
He was, however, quite skeptical that Tsunade-sama and her accompanying team who all had undoubtedly been around for a few unmistakably good minutes would not have been able to form a rather clear idea on what they had bamphed upon.
At least, if it came to the way one furiously blushing Hyuuga medic was gripping onto a stiffly standing ANBU who looked rather faint himself.
Where was the strike of lightning when one needed it, the teacher found himself wondering.
Against the teacher's initial fear, and to his honest bafflement, considering that he was the one staring at their probable death in the flatly staring amber eyes, the Godaime calmly turned to look at her team who, by some measure of healthy fear for the unreadable look she had on her face then, stood in attention and fled back into the house through the kitchen door. After the Hyuuga had been carefully steered inside, Tsunade once more turned to look at the idiots before her. Coming to the conclusion that however she thought about reacting most likely wasn't worth whatever it would result with, she spoke: "Go get washed off and report in ten minutes."
That said, she sauntered after the others and let the door close after her, cutting off the heavy silence that lingered around the two men who were still leaning against each other.
As if trying to lighten the mood, the jounin who suddenly decided to add his own input to the situation sounded surprisingly optimistic when he mumbled against the chuunin's pulse: "...At least she didn't demand a sample."
The caws of the birds above drowned the silent groan that Iruka let out when he thumped his forehead against the pale shoulder.
There was something distinctly embarrassing, sitting alone in the training room with one's leader while hearing the hushed sounds of medics puttering in the kitchen while at the same time listening to the ANBU taking out the trashed bathroom doors – a fun fact that kept reminding Iruka that after they had come down from the stupor they had had to use the toilet sink to clean up lest they risk giving the medical team more data to take notes on than what they had already witnessed.
He fervently hoped that it was not their dirty laundry he just noticed passing the doorway in the hands of the medical corps along with their freshly washed clothes.
After what felt like a minute stretched too thin, the hustle died down and the four medics he had counted to be present gathered in the training room and sat down to look at the chuunin teacher who was hard-pressed to ignore the silent exchange of notes happening in his peripheral vision by keeping his dark eyes trained on the spot right above Tsunade-sama's right shoulder.
It was only logical. He might otherwise feel strongly compelled to go and drag his mission partner by the ear to suffer with him instead of letting the man take his time in the toilet.
Yet there was no denying the relief that flooded into his system when the jounin's presence joined them, the man slouching his way to where Iruka had been told to sit and settling gracefully next to him, albeit holding the same physical distance they had had at breakfast.
The tan sensei found himself silently agreeing with that decision, for he would have done the same.
They all waited when Shizune came in and served tea to everyone else except Tsunade and the two men who were the source for the current tic in their leader's brow. She did, however, leave two bottles of sake a small cup by her friend before sitting down with the rest of the team, which in turn made Kakashi blink and open his mouth before Iruka could stop him.
"Isn't that my -"
The lift of a slender eyebrow from the blond woman was daring, to put it mildly.
Fighting the urge to smack the other for the stupidity of endangering them both, Iruka mentally went through the capitals of The Five Shinobi Nations while he kept his face carefully blank.
Better to let the bastard sign his own death all by himself.
"I know you two are devoted when it comes to completing every mission and never fail to act on every request," Tsunade's voice began over the silence, "but seeing what we did the first thing in the morning was fairly surprising even for me." She held a pause, opening the first bottle of sake and pouring a drink for herself, not paying attention to the glances that were shared around her or the awkward looks given to the men she was currently focused on. After downing the first on one go, she poured another cup and let that stay for a while longer, the amber eyes turning to look at the pair in front of her. "Who started it this time?"
It was the shortest glance shared between them, and yet Iruka felt like they had gone through a whole conversation.
"I did, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said when he turned his gaze back to answer the look of his commander, his speech calm and collected. Yet he didn't get a chance to tell more when the smooth baritone cut in, making him halt in his thoughts by what he heard then.
"I'm no less guilty, Hokage-sama," Iruka told them, voice unwavering and gaze clear, and yet he knew the jounin next to him could hear his breath tremble.
The look in the leading medic's eyes was hard to read, but the intensity in them spoke volumes to all present, along with her silence and the way she left the drink untouched, instead tucking her hands inside her wide sleeves.
"Scan them," she said to the room in general, and yet everyone knew who she addressed the words to, the young Hyuuga bringing herself forth and activating her Byakugan, face held stern despite the tinge of pink on her pale cheeks.
"This is how it's going to go," Tsunade began once more, her voice leaving nobody without the impression that she didn't care to repeat herself, "after consulting a few leading ANBU medics, I decided that should your bodies be in the same condition as they were since the last time we boosted your pathways, we will release the seals and let you have all of your chakra reserves back. As of today, you're both temporarily out of commission. However, I will not, for the time being, let you walk out of this house." On that note, her eyes searched first for Iruka's and then Kakashi's face, as if looking for something she only knew to seek.
"Tsunade-sama, what -" Iruka started before he even knew he had opened his mouth, but the look he was given by the woman banished the rest of what he was about to say from his tongue.
"If you think I will let you choose your options on this you're rather late with that, Iruka," Tsunade snapped back, her voice void of warmth and compassion. "For my patience for surprises is running very thin at the moment when it comes to all that has happened here between you and the brat."
The tan teacher didn't have time to argue back when the Hyuuga deactivated her gaze and turned to look at her superior. "The pathways seem mostly fine, Tsunade-sama. Only a couple of troubling ones but they're easy to overlook and boost with the rest since they're not directly connected to the vital clusters."
"Well then," Tsunade said and emptied her cup before standing up, flicking a sharp gesture with her hand to let the men know she meant for them to stand up as well with the rest of the medics. "Better have this dealt with so we can continue onto other matters."
As if they had practiced it, the medics divided in two teams, with those meant to undo the seal and those staying as back-up should something go sideways – which, considering how the things had went for the past few days, was more a high probability than a mere chance.
On the heard command, the glow of green chakra illuminated the room as hand seals began to form.
It was an oddly comforting sensation, Kakashi mused, to have a rush of buzzing vitality running back into his body that had almost forgotten how it felt to have all of his chakra intact, and seeing how Iruka's eyes widened briefly he suspected it wasn't only him who felt it. Yet it took a while for him to understand that he was suddenly leaning against a few pairs of hands that lowered him to the ground, soon followed by a bout of fussing and shouting when a new set of hands checked him and he faintly registered the same done to the man they handled next to him. Oddly enough, he was sure that the chuunin hadn't looked that feverish a few moments earlier, or that his own pulse shouldn't be beating as hard as it now did, with his chest starting to feel numb and his mouth tasting like cotton.
That was the only thing he knew when his eyes rolled back.
"How do you feel?"
A steel-gray eye blinked open, only to close against the bright light that made a groan leave the masked lips. A humorless hum was detected by the pale ears, as well the rustle of paper nearby.
"I consider that as an answer," the voice continued, the lilt in it tired yet amused on some level.
It was also very familiar.
"Tsunade-sama," Kakashi muttered while he forced his heavy tongue to move in his mouth, "what."
"Nothing we weren't prepared for," the identified voice went on, casual despite what was said, and the jounin couldn't locate the infuriating woman without opening his eye the second time, peering around the room he recognized as the bedroom he had been in for the past couple of weeks. Soon enough, he found her sitting by his feet, looking through one of his paperback novels even though he knew that was only to keep her from grabbing his ankle and shaking him back to consciousness. Unceremoniously, as if driving in the point, the book was dropped onto him when the woman stood up and fixed him with a long look. "I trust you can stand up on your own."
He wouldn't put much trust on that, seeing that it took a moment for him to test if he could move his toes, let alone feel them wiggle underneath the duvet. Yet Kakashi knew from the look he was receiving that it would be a smart thing to give it a try.
It took him a couple of fits and starts, but in the end he managed.
He wasn't, however, sure if he passed whatever it was that he was tested for. To ignore the niggling feel of his leader looking at him like one would a patient who didn't know they shouldn't be doing things they were doing, the jounin gave a look around him, if only to see if there was a certain tan man nearby going through the same kind of evaluation.
"He woke up well before you did," the blonde woman said, this time with a smile which made Kakashi stand at ease a bit better. "Any pains?"
He considered for a moment. "Just the usual, Hokage-sama," he answered.
"Good," the woman nodded, "I would have hated to go through all that the second time. You both gave us quite the scare there."
"But you had anticipated it," Kakashi countered automatically before remembering who he was talking to, and this time there was no missing the flicker of anger and concern he could sense spiking up the medic's chakra. He had missed the early warnings."...How is he?"
The little smile on the blonde's red lips was back but with a pull he didn't have time to analyze when the amber eyes peered over the pale shoulder at something that had appeared in the doorway. "How about he tells you himself?"
When he turned around to look, the elite wasn't sure what he was waiting to see, but the sheepish smile that he was first to register on a familiar tan face before the horizontal scar or the dark eyes was already enough to let the last of the tension leak out of his body.
"Yo," the man standing by the doorway said, his broad shoulders relaxed, the dark hair tied up as usual and the trained body dressed up, the chuunin looking prim and proper like always; and yet he was different from the one the jounin had watched in the morning – his skin looked warmer, his posture seemed sharper.
He looked like someone Kakashi didn't know if he could step into the same room with.
"Yo, yourself," he still replied. "You alright?" He added, cursing mildly in his mind for it sounding like an afterthought.
The answering nod was kind enough to let him off the hook, though. "Not worse than usual," Iruka said, his voice as easy and teasing as his smile. "How about you?"
There was no helping the small smile that crept on his face, even though he could not shake the notion of something trying to catch his attention in the situation. "Maa. I'll survive, despite their efforts," he quipped back, smiling wider at the grin he could get from the teacher with that.
Yet when he made a move to walk closer to the younger nin who had not stepped over the threshold to join them, not only did he then notice the ripple of uncertainty break through the smile on the man's face but he also felt Tsunade shift behind him. Before he could turn to ask the medic what it was that they weren't telling him, a firm hold on his arm halted him on his tracks; he didn't let that stop him from looking at Iruka for an answer.
Surely enough, how the dark eyes spoke to him when the man stopped smiling told him enough.