Buffy was making breakfast that morning and blood for the two of them, and Spike just couldn't stop himself.
In, I'm falling in I didn't want to Not so fast boy Slow Don't wanna hurt the girl Give her a pretty box You'd better fill it
And I get blinded when she opens her eyes It's like looking in to the sun, you know And I'm just blinkin', mumblin', starin' at my shoes And she just looks at me And smiles Smiles, smiles
Oh, there we go again And it feels so good We're fallin' up and down Damn, it's 2am again And she kisses me goodnight For the sixteenth time
And I'm in the garden, it's 5am And I'm look at the sun come up over the hills Clouds are turnin' pink and green And all I can see is her eyes Eyes, eyes
And I get blinded when she opens her eyes It's like looking in to the sun, you know And I'm just blinkin', mumblin', starin' at my shoes And she just looks at me And smiles Smiles, smiles
Smiles.
Spike sang turning her to face him with the last words, and she smiled up at him the way she always did, this vampires sunshine. Dru had been right, the wicked sunshine had stolen him away from her so many long years ago, and he could never be happier.
"Did you say something?" Buffy asked, he leaned down kissing her. She giggled smacking him lightly. "Hey mister, I'm trying to cook, never get in the way of a hungry pregnant lady, I haven't even puked yet today, I'm hoping to fully digest this meal." Buffy told him, he laughed hopping up onto the counter.
"This coming from the bird who can prepare my Blood every morning, but can't look at tuna without gagging." Spike joked, she made a face at the word.
"Uh, now my belly's all rumbly." She complained punching him hard in the shoulder. "See what you did." She grumbled, Spike slid off the counter falling to his knees lifting up her shirt and kissing her stomach.
"I, am, so, sorry." Spike said in between kisses, she giggled pulling him up off his knees so she could kiss him.
"All is forgiven, now will you grab me a bowl?" She asked, he spun past her snagging a bowl down from the shelf. They found out who it was who summoned the demon, shocker, once again it was Xander, and the demon left without incident.
"No you have to ware something grown up, oh borrow something from Giles, something tweed and awful, so that they know you're boring and respectable." Buffy told him, he sighed, he was going to look ridiculous, but if he was going to make the appointment for the christening she had a point, he probably shouldn't look like a vampire.
"Fine love, I'll go swipe something boring and tweed from the watcher, and I'll meet you at the magic box, but if you forget my bleedin' clothes, I'm not bloody well staying. I won't deal with Red all strung out on withdrawals in tweed." Spike told her, she was trying to give up magic for Tara, hopefully it would go better this time.
"Thanks, it's cold out there." Willow said, they were the last stranglers to come to hear Giles' news Xander, had given up his jacket to Willow.
"Not a problem. The cold only makes me stronger and more macho-like." Xander told her, she giggled, it was good to see she didn't just poof herself a jacket. "I'm glad you're here." Giles said, even Joyce was here today, she usually only swung by at lunch. Giles stood, preparing to say something holding Joyce's hand. "I have something I really have to tell you all. I know it seems like we've been through this but, Joyce and I are getting married!" Giles told them all, Joyce held up her ring, it was nothing fancy a gold band with a diamond center and two smaller blue stones on each side.
"Holy moly!" Anya said, Spike said a silent thank you that they were off the topic of his dreadful brown suit, since Buffy had as expected forgotten his clothes. Anya, and the rest of the girls including Buffy crowded around to see her ring. Spike went to Giles.
"Congrats mate." Spike said shaking his hand firmly, Giles nodded in response it was all very British.
"Oh, but we can't get married on the same day though, oh we could do them one before the other though, then anyone who comes to our wedding that knows you can go to your wedding and vise versa, and then more presents, it's perfect." Anya said, Joyce looked a little horrified of that idea.
"Well, we can certainly keep that in mind." Joyce told her, she moved over to talk to Buffy.
"So, when are you two going to get married, I mean with a baby on the way, you're the only one's who aren't engaged now." Joyce asked, Buffy looked back at Spike who promptly came up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I don't know, he hasn't asked yet." Buffy said pointedly, Spike smiled kissing the mark on her neck, it made her quiver.
"And I'm not going to until you'll be surprised good proper, I'm not gonna bollocks it up." Spike told her, she smiled leaning into him, and then they all fell to the floor in a heap.
When he opened his eyes he was laying on some one, he got off them hastily, she backed away looking at him, she was the most beautiful woman he could remember ever meeting, but he couldn't remember anything it seemed. She looked at him her expression matching the way he felt, like they were connected.
"Hey." He heard a voice say in a flirtatious manner, he finally looked away from the mysterious blond woman. It was dark outside, an older woman was waking up near them, the man who spoke appeared to be sitting near a startled redheaded woman, there was another blond laying with an older man, a petite brunette was leaning up against a book shelf, and finally there was a sandy blond standing by the counter looking around.
"Hey?" The redhead said sheepishly with a little wave. There were various sounds of everyone waking.
"AAAA! Who, who are you guys?!" The brunette asked looking terrified, searching the room for a familiar face.
"Hey, don't worry." The beautiful mystery woman said reaching out to the brunette, who shrank back in fear.
"Please don't hurt me." The brunette said, he felt the urge to comfort her for some reason, but the older woman beat him to it.
"Don't worry sweetheart no one here will hurt you. I don't think any of us know what's going on here." The older woman said looking around for someone to object to her assumption.
"Yeah? Who are you?" She asked, no one looked ready to answer that question. The older woman just looked at her apologeticly. "Who are you freaks?" The other young man asked leaping to his feet. "You don't know me?" The red head asked looking offended. "I don't have a clue." The young man told her, looking at her like she was going to eat him. "But you just acted all, 'Hey.'" The red head said looking dejected. "Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a girl and I'd remember in a second but..." He started not really sure where he was going with that. "I am a girl. I'm... not sure who I am. Exactly. But..." She told him. "Okay... why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I getting paid for this? Is this a bad dream?" He interrupted sounding paranoid. He pinched himself. "Yow, okay, no. Am I in trouble? I didn't do it! And if I did, it was an accident." He continued to ramble.
"Calm down." The older woman said in a soothing motherly tone. "It's not just you. Does anyone remember anything?" The older gentleman asked looking around to all of them. "Nope." He chimed in for the first time, his voice sounded strange even to himself. They all shook their heads. Every one was sort of gathering around the table now so he got up too. "Perhaps we all got terribly drunk and we're having some kind of black-out." The Englishmen offered. "I don't think I d-drink." The brunette said her voice quivering she was trying really hard not to cry. "I don't see any booze; I don't feel any head bumps; and I don't see Alan Funt." The blond with the Englishmen said. The other young man was trying equally hard not to panic. He was taking deep breaths. "Okay... I'm not panicking, I'm not, I'm not. Stop looking at me like I'm panicking." The man bellowed, "Hey, take it easy, guy. No one's hurt, right? And none of us looks all hatchet murder-y, so we're probably safe. Here. Wherever here is." The stunning blond offered calmingly, he couldn't take his eyes off her, she looked over at him with a sweet smile, and all he wanted to do was kiss her. "Look at the things on these shelves: weird jars of weird stuff and weird books with weird covers like: 'Magic for beginners'. Oh!" The redhead told them. "A magic shop. A real magic shop." The quiet blond chimed in. "Maybe that's it. Maybe something magic happened to us." The mysterious blond said, it made sense. "Magic? Magic is all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? And a man. With glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably." The Englishmen scoffed looking at his glasses. "I don't like this." the brunette said starting to cry, just a little bit. The mysterious blond put her arm around her. This time the brunette let her.
"Listen, it's going to be okay. We'll take care of each other, okay?" The brunette nodded at the mysterious blond through her tears. "Yes, we'll get back our memories and everything will be right as rain." The Englishmen told them, he chuckled. "Oh listen to Mary Poppins! Got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so..." He stopped listening to himself. "Bloody hell." He said testing the words in his mouth. "Sodding, blimy, shagging, knickers, bullocks... oh no. I'm English." He said horrified, the mysterious blond put her hand gently on his shoulder reassuringly, and it was all worth it. "Welcome to the nancy tribe." The Englishmen said sarcastically He eyed him up and down, a horrible thought creeping in. "You don't suppose... you and I... we' re not related, are we?" He asked looking disgustedly at the other man. "There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance." The tarty blond said the Englishmen looked at him, dismayed. "And you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity... and disappointment. Older brother?" The Englishmen said hopefully. "Well, I'm thinking more like..." The tart started. "Father!" He finished with a glare. "My god how I must hate you." He said. "What did I do?" The Englishmen asked looking offended. "Oh, there's always something. And what's with the trollop?" He gestured to the tart. "Hey!" The tart yelled. "Her?" The Englishmen asked with a look of confusion. "I saw you... sleeping together." He accused them with a crude nod. "Resting together!" The Englishmen countered. "Look!" The tart displayed her engagement ring! "It's okay, we're engaged." She told him happily The Englishmen looked at her, smiling shyly. "Oh." The Englishmen said the tart smiled back, shy too. "It's a lovely ring." The tart said, he scowled at them. "Great, a tarty step-Mum who's half ol' Daddy's age." He scoffed shaking his head. "Tarty!" The tart yelled offended. "Old! I'm young enough to still get carded..." He stopped realizing what he'd just said. "Carded! Driver's licenses!" The red head called out. They all scrambled through their pockets. The paranoid one held up his license. "Look! Me! Alexander Harris. Cute picture. Hey, I exist!" Alex said happily. "I'm Willow Rosenberg. 'Willow'! Funny name." Willow said, looking at her ID. "I think it's pretty." The quiet one said. "What do you got?" Willow asked her. "Tara. And look, I'm a student at UC Sunnydale." Tara said happily. "Me too! Maybe we're study buddies." Willow said hopefully.
"I appear to be Joyce Summers." Joyce said looking a little frazzled by all this. "I don't have a wallet." The brunette said. "Don't worry, me neither. But here..." The mysterious blond touched her 'nameplate' necklace. "You're 'Dawn'." She told her Dawn looked at the necklace, reads it upside-down. "Or 'Umad'." Dawn said they smiled.
"I'm called, lets see, Rupert Giles." Rupert said, pleased with himself.
"Rupert." The tart said all swoony.
"Not a bloody thing." He said checking all his pockets and his inseam. The mysterious blond smiled sweetly at him wishing she could help.
"I've got a name on my jacket too." Willow said reading the embroidery over her heart.
"'Harris'" She readout loud.
"Harris? That's my last name. Hey maybe I have a brother and you go out with him... or, maybe you go out with me." Alex said with a coy smile.
"We did wake up all snuggly wuggly. I guess maybe you're my boyfriend." Willow said, not sure what to make of that.
"Either that or I have one pissed off brother out there somewhere." Alex said, they smiled at each other.
"I'm Anya!" She said pulling her key out of a lock. "My key fits the lock and I found some forms by the register that say Rupert and Anya own the shop together. That's me. Anya Shop-owner." she said proudly, mostly to herself.
"This is our magic shop? Well, that's... very progressive of me. You know it truly is a small mind that fails to acknowledge the, um, alternatives to our rational, scientific understanding of the universe. Oh look! Fancy herbs!" Rupert said changing the subject.
"So, you two don't have names?" Dawn asked looking at them, they looked at each other, it felt kind of right that they end up nameless together.
"Of course we do. We just don't happen to know them." She said scooting closer to him, he smiled reassuringly at her.
"Do you want me to name you?" Dawn asked hopefully, they both exchanged a worried look.
"That's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... Joan." She said proudly, he smiled it didn't quite fit, but he liked it. "Ug!" Dawn said with a little eye roll. "What? Why'd you 'ug' my name?" Joan asked offended. "I didn't. It's just so.. .blarg. 'Joan'?" Dawn said trying to explain. "I like it. I feel like a Joan." Joan said to herself.
"It's lovely." He told her, she smiled happy that he liked it. "Fine. That's your purgative." Dawn told her crossing her arms. "Prerogative." Joan corrected her automatically. "Whatever. 'Joan'." Dawn said sarcastically. "Whatever. 'Umad'." Joan quipped back. "Boy you're a pain in the neck." Joan said at the same time as Dawn
"Boy you're bossy" Was what Dawn said. An Idea seemed to strike them. Just before Joyce looked like she may scold them.
"Do you think we're..." Dawn started
"Sisters." Joan said, it felt right, and they did look similar, they grinned hugging each other.
"So what about you?" Joyce asked him, he looked around with no ideas, he couldn't think of a name, and he didn't have an ID.
"Don't rightly know do I?" He said, Joyce looked at him with pity, which frustrated him.
"I could name you." Joan said sheepishly, he smiled.
"Go for it love." He told her, Dawn huffed at the injustice of her not getting to be the one to name someone.
"This is gonna sound funky, but I keep getting Spike when I look at you." She told him looking rather embarrassed, he grinned.
"Bloody brilliant, Spike, I like it." Spike told her, she smiled happily, which more then made up for the odd choice of names.
"Ug." Dawn said again.
"Hey you don't like it little Bit, you find my real name." Spike defended the name Joan had chosen for him.
"We've got to figure out what's going on. We need to get help." Joan said sounding very sure of herself. "Looks like 'Joan' fancies herself the boss." Spike said teasingly, Joan smiled, but mostly ignored him. "We've got a kid here..." Joan said like that was reason enough for them to act the grown ups. "A teenager." Dawn corrected her. "A teenager, and we have no idea what's wrong with us. I think a hospital's our best bet." Joan said proudly.
"She's right, we need to know if there's something wrong with us." Joyce added, looking at Joan proudly, for some reason, he felt like she might be there mom. "Alright then, let's head out." Rupert said trying to swoop in and take charge as they headed to the door.
"Any suggestions on how we get there?" Joan asked, looking around at them all since no one knew if they had a car.
"Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport: something red, sporty, shaped like a penis." Spike told her, she giggled and opened the door. The door swung open and they were faced with a dozen snarling vampires.