Chapter 25

"You want me to talk to her again?" Aubrey asked as she sat down next to Chloe on the couch. Chloe shook her head.

"It's my own fault..." Aubrey looked concerned at her friend. She looked terrible. She hadn't slept in days, the same for eating... Chloe couldn't eat without throwing up or getting a terrible stomach pain. Aubrey kept trying to convince to go to the doctor but Chloe knew a doctor couldn't take away the pain she felt. A doctor couldn't heal a broken heart. Her skin was pale and Aubrey noticed some scars on her wrist but didn't say anything about it.

"You can't let her go Chloe..." she stated picking up the cold bowl of soup Chloe hadn't finished.

"I don't have a choice... She's right, it's her own decision... It's none of my business." Chloe said just above a whisper and she sighed.

"It is your business since you guys love each other."

"That's why I have to let her go..." Chloe mumbled. Aubrey didn't know what to say to her friend anymore. She had tried everything in her power to cheer the redhead up but she seemed to get worse by the hour.

"Maybe you should talk to her?" Chloe quickly shook her head. Of course she had considered to talk to Beca but both her pride and her sadness stopped her from actually doing it. She didn't want Beca to see her like this. Chloe had never felt so numb before but at the same time she felt everything. Her body ached and it felt like her body had shut down the moment her head had. She woke up at night crying but not even remembering why she started crying in the first place, she felt tired even though she slept most of the day. The way Aubrey's face fell when she came into the room told her how terrible she looked, how broken. Chloe appreciated everything Aubrey did for her deeply but she couldn't tell her properly with her lips trembling and her hands shaking.

"No I don't! She doesn't want to talk to me anymore... She didn't even took the time to talk to me about it?! She just made her own decision... She is leaving in two days..." Even talking seemed to exhaust her.

"Please Chloe, go talk to her..." Aubrey begged her. She wanted Chloe to be happy again.

"No Aubrey, I'm going to bed." It wasn't just that she was tired that Chloe slept a lot it was also a way of escaping from her own thoughts and the pain that never seemed to fade away.

"But you just woke up?" Chloe shrugged.

"I'm just tired..." Aubrey nodded. Chloe walked to her room and got into her bed. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Let me know when you need something" Aubrey said as Chloe disappeared into her room, but she knew she couldn't give her the one thing she needed most…

Beca sat in her dorm listening to some old mixes when she came across mixes she had made for Chloe a while ago. It were her favourite songs but Chloe had never heard the mixes. Beca sighed and ran a hand through her hair. The commandant had called again and he would pick her up that night. For the first time in her life she felt like he'd be too early, like she wouldn't have enough time to get ready. But on the other hand she knew that there was no reason to stay any longer. Beca paused the mix she was playing and looked around. For some weird reason she was going to miss this place. Amy came into the room.

"Hi."

"Hey." Beca smiled weakly. Yes even that weird Australian blondie she was going to miss.

"So you're leaving to night huh?" Beca nodded. "I'm going to miss you." Amy stood up and hugged Beca tight. Beca just stood there stiffly as Amy nearly crushed her. Beca cleared her throat and slowly pulled back distancing herself from the blonde.

"Okay, that's enough hugging... Please let me go..." Amy let go of Beca and pouted.

"Will you come back?" She asked.

"I don't know. This mission is going to take 6 months... By then you probably won't remember me anyways, you'll be fine!" Beca laughed jokingly but her smile fell quickly because it felt wrong to smile at all.

"I will never forget you! I don't forget people who wake me up by screaming during their sleep..." she smirked nudging Beca with her elbow teasingly.

"You heard that huh?" Amy nodded.

"And I also know you didn't sleep the last few days since-" She was interrupted by a sigh from Beca. "I'm sorry..." Amy looked at the ground. "I'm getting us some 'goodbye' donuts to share..."

"That's nice of you." Amy just nodded.

"I'll be right back." Amy left the room and Beca started to mix again. It was a mix between 'Let me love you' and 'A thousand years'. Beca swallowed her tears as she made sure the songs blend perfectly. After she finished it and she quickly made a cd with all the songs for Chloe. She wanted to give the redhead the songs but she didn't know why. She knew she shouldn't do it, she knew she should leave her alone but she couldn't bring herself to leave Chloe without any form of a goodbye. She placed the cd in a case and wrote down a note for Chloe. She wrapped the cd in her favourite sweater and walked out of the room. On her way she came across Amy.

"I'll be right back." Beca started running, which started to look more like running since her leg was getting stronger by the day, and ran to Chloe's dorm. Trying to catch her breath she knocked on the door. There was no reaction. Of course, Beca thought. She doesn't want to see me anymore... Beca placed the sweater with the cd in front of the door and left. As she walked away Chloe opened the door. Frowning she looked around but didn't see anyone. Then she spotted something on the ground. It was Beca's favourite sweater... On the sweater there was a cd with a note that said.

~Dear Chloe,

I'm sorry for being such a dick... I never meant to hurt you, I really didn't. I made these songs for you a while ago. You can throw them away if you want. I'm going back tonight. I don't expect you to forgive me and I don't expect you to even care about me at all, I know I'll never get this life back but I just can stay. I am sorry.

Thank you for teaching me how to love again...

Bye Chloe,

Beca~

A tear rolled down Chloe's cheek. She covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed softy. She felt Aubrey's arms around her but she didn't realize where she was anymore. Her knees buckled and she leaned against Aubrey clutching the note against her chest. The numbness she had felt the past days disappeared and her heart ached like it had never done before. And right then she knew she would never feel whole anymore without Beca, because the brunette took a part of Chloe with her as she left her behind.