Gamer4 in. Before we get started here, quick shout-out to FelineWithin, who correctly guessed the Ranma ½ reference in the previous chapter. Also, I'm getting started on this particular chapter as early as possible, due to its probable longevity, and the unlikelihood of me having much time to write in the coming weeks. Whether this helps overly much will be seen. Anyways, diving right in!

Disclaimer: Okay, I'll admit it- the title of this chapter is a shout-out to the short story Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody by Nagaru Tanigawa. Known more widely as the first episode of the second season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and containing- as you may have already guessed- time travel!

Chapter XXI

Blue Potato Rhapsody

"So terrible... so, so terrible... miracle they weren't killed! I... I hate to think what would have happened if... if you hadn't been there, Wolf..."

"Indeed, you are trembling, Mr. President."

"L-like I said... I'll see what award I can get you- a Nobel Prize, most certainly, if all goes well!"

"I appreciate it, of course, but just knowing that this school will remain safe is award enough for me."

"Noble... truly noble... incidentally, you've got a few nasty bumps there. Roy get you?"

"Sort of- though he was driven to it by Mario."

"Mario? As in, Mario Mario?"

"Roy seems to have put some sort of spell on them- they were so confused that they were preaching the possibility of his innocence!"

"Wait, was Roy's special talent magic?"

"Not entirely certain, but it appears so."

"In that case, then, they weren't responsible for what they did?"

"To a certain extent- however, it was their fault they were out there in the first place. I'd imagine they were out looking for Roy themselves, and, through bad luck, actually found him. It wouldn't surprise me- you wouldn't believe the things that they've gotten away with before, and I'd imagine Mario's overswollen head grew so swollen that some of it has spilt over into his friends..."

"If- if you say so... but... well, it's Mario Mario! The boy who lived! The protagonist!"

"Not a good enough excuse for me, Mr. President. As for myself, I do all I can to treat him as I would any student. You give him too much license, and the next thing you know, things like this start happening. And that's without the things I suspect he's been doing throughout the year- meeting with werecreatures, illegal visits to Kurain..."

"Well, I wouldn't deny that he's been a little stupid... something will have to be done, I suppose, but we'll see..."

Mario slowly tried to turn his head, finally giving Gamer4 a chance to narrate in this chapter. His head felt like it weighed 8999 tons, and pounded at the small movement. He wished those voices would go away- he just wanted to sleep...

"But the real surprise- at least, I think, I might be wrong- is what those floows did. Any idea why they retreated?"

"No idea- a final smash would be the obvious explanation, but to drive that many floows away, it would have to be a smasher with power beyond measure."

"Incredible indeed... right? Anyways... what of Roy, Mario, and the girl?"

"All unconscious when I found them."

Mario's brain was still booting up, but he was finally advancing to the point that all these random words were actually starting to mean something. Finally, remembering the last time he'd been in a situation like this- the last chapter of Hylian Stone- he decided to follow his past self's example, be a rebel, and open his eyes.

An unfamiliar ceiling arched over him. Shaking aside the Neon Genesis Evangelion reference, he shook his head- no, unfortunately, this ceiling was too familiar for his own comfort- it was the ceiling of the mansion's hospital wing. A glance around confirmed it- all the beds clearly belonged to the hospital wing, as did Nurse Tessie, who was very busy nearby. Squinting, he saw the dirty blond hair of Link Faron. Glancing at the bed to his side, he saw the similarly blond hair of Zelda Hyrule, except, unlike Link, she seemed to be awake. Seeing him looking at her, she quickly motioned for him to be silent. Her ears seemed to be pricked to listen in on the conversation in the hallway, with voices Mario now recognized as Wolf and Olimar.

"Oh, you're awake!" came Nurse Tessie's voice, causing Mario and Zelda alike to nearly jump out of their skin. She was coming down the hall with a bar of Hershey's chocolate roughly the size of a King-Size mattress, with rectangles the size of large pillows.

Shaking off their surprise, Mario and Zelda grew urgent. "How's Link?" they asked in near unison.

"He's fine," Nurse Tessie smiled. "Relatively speaking- he'll live with no major injuries, though he's still out cold, and his leg's not looking all that good, but... he'll recover. Now, as for you two, you've had a very bad experience, so you'll be staying here until- Mario, what are you doing?"

Mario was standing, picking up his hat on the nearby nightstand, and straightening out his clothes. "I've got to talk to the Master Hand," he explained.

"Mario, it's alright," Nurse Tessie said, in a voice that was clearly trying to be understanding. "You're safe now- Roy is locked up in the mansion, and as soon as the paperwork goes through, he's going to be execute-"

"NO! NOT OKAY, NOT OKAY!" Mario shouted, as Zelda leapt to her feet, looking just as horrified as he felt. "Nurse Tessie-"

"Oh, Mario!" came a voice from the door, and they looked to see Olimar and Wolf entering. "I see you've finally recovered-"

"Mr. President!" Mario said quickly. "If you want the details, I can tell you the whole story later, but we have to be fast- Roy's innocent, Mumkhar faked his own death, we even saw him in person, and if you let the floows execute Roy, it'll be one of the worst mistrials in history!"

Here, he stopped to take a deep breath. Olimar looked taken aback, his eyes widening, but slowly, he returned to his original position, and gave a sigh. Reaching out, he patted Mario on the back. "Mario, my boy, I understand. It's a terrible thing that you had to go through tonight. But rest assured, Roy can't hurt you from where he is- you don't have to try and cover for him. Soon, he won't be able to hurt anyone again."

"He never hurt anyone to begin with!" Mario shook his head urgently. "He's innocent- you've got the wrong man!"

"I can back his story up," Zelda put in, raising her hand. "I saw him too- Link's cucoo was a slider, but he never got registered, and now he transforms every time he gets splashed with cold or warm water-"

Wolf gave a growling sort of laugh. "Case in point," he spoke. "They're not covering for him, Mr. President- they actually believe what they're saying- a slider that transforms with water? Ridiculous."

"Roy didn't use any sort of spell on us!" Mario objected. "This is the truth!"

"Wolf, Mr. President!" Nurse Tessie stepped in. "I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave- if there's one thing these two don't need right now, it's stress!"

"I'm stressed!" Mario agreed. "Very stressed! Failings of justice make me uncomfortable, I'm weird like that!"

He would have continued with his straight-man tirade, but at that moment, Nurse Tessie slammed a pillow-sized rectangle of chocolate into his face, knocking him back onto the bed, and proceeded to force the chocolate down his throat, rendering him temporarily mute. This done, she turned back on the visitors. "Now, you two, out!"

"HOLD IT!" came a shout from the door, and everyone spun around to see the doors being thrust open once more. In came a floating right hand in a glove. Mario jumped up- he was never unhappy to see this being, but this was probably the happiest he'd ever been to see this smasher entering the room. Hanging around one finger was a necklace with a strange pendant at the end- half of the yin-yang symbol, set with an emerald, and made out of softly glowing jade.

Mario forced himself to swallow the chocolate in his mouth and jumped up again. "Master Hand!" he cried. "Roy-"

"For crying out loud!" Nurse Tessie grumbled. "Master, this is a hospital wing, and my patients need rest!"

"Sorry about that," came the Master Hand's calm voice. "But the thing is, I need to talk with Mario and Hyrule. You see, I was just having a discussion with Mr. Alluvia-"

"Oh, holy Wave Existence!" Wolf grumbled. "Let me guess, he threw the same BS at you that he threw at these children!"

"Yes, he did indeed 'throw the same BS at me that he threw at these children,'" the Master Hand nodded, the words sounding pretty foreign in his not-mouth.

"About Mumkhar being a water-transforming cucoo slider?"

"Indeed."

"Well, surely you don't doubt my testimony?" Wolf growled. "I was out there all night, and I didn't see a glimpse of a cucoo or of Mumkhar Virgil- I think I'd have noticed either-"

"OBJECTION!" Zelda called out. Stamp time. "You were unconscious for most of the night, of course you wouldn't have seen-"

"Zelda Hyrule, you are only a child, your opinion is irrelevant, so for once in your unholy life, shut your mouth!"

"Wolf!" Olimar gasped. "She's not well- I understand that she's speaking crazily, but that's hardly her fault!"

"I need to speak to them alone!" the Master Hand spoke again, raising his voice slightly to be heard. "Olimar, Tessie, Wolf... if you could please leave..."

"Of course... if it's something you're doing, it's sure to be for the greater good," Olimar nodded- incidentally, that sentence is something you'd hear all the time in two more years. "I've got to go and arrange... things..."

With that, Olimar stepped out.

Nurse Tessie was slightly more reluctant. "Master," she objected, "I must protest! They've been through too much tonight, they need-"

"Believe me, Tessie, I wouldn't do anything that would place them in too much danger," the Master Hand cut her off, waving himself in the air. She still looked reluctant, but finally, Nurse Tessie made her way out as well.

Finally, there was Wolf. "You don't believe his story, do you?" Wolf asked, sounding almost desperate. "You don't believe-"

"We can discuss my beliefs later," the Master Hand shook his not-head. "For now, I need to talk to Mario and Hyrule."

"It's not like Roy is above murder- if you'll recall, he tried to kill me once, long ago, and that was when we were both children!"

"I do recall that incident, in fact," the Master Hand replied. "However, it is irrelevant to the conversation I must have with Mario and Hyrule."

Finally, undoubtedly the most reluctant one to leave, Wolf did so, throwing one last scowl back at Mario and Zelda as he slammed the door behind him.

"So..." the Master Hand said, turning to the two students. "Alone at last."

Both Mario and Zelda instantly broke into a nigh-unintelligible garble of speech simultaneously. "Master, it's true, we both saw Mumkhar-"

"Roy and Fox did something to mess with his slider powers-"

"He stole Fox's blaster and attacked us-"

"It really is like something out of Ranma ½-"

Finally, the Master Hand raised himself for silence. "For now, just listen to what I have to say, and try to keep up- I apologize, but I must speak quickly if I am to get it all out in time. As things stand, the only evidence we have to support our story is your testimony- and as it is, that's not nearly enough to overturn his sentence, or even get it delayed. There are more than fifty eyewitnesses who genuinely believe they saw Roy murder Mumkhar and Louie, and- I am now ashamed to say- I myself testified to the Government that Roy was in charge of Jake and Sarah's Magicant. It pains me to say it, but they kept their plan too close to their chest for their own good."

"What about Fox?" Mario burst out. "Fox knows-"

"He does," the Master Hand agreed, "but there are two issues with relying on him for testimony. First, he is currently transformed and wandering in the Lost Woods, unable to tell anyone anything. By the time he turns back, the sentence will have already been carried out. In addition, his word would likely be suspect- both because he is a former friend of Roy's, and because he is a werecreature."

"But... but..." Mario stammered.

The Master Hand shook himself again. "I truly apologize, Mario, but it is too late. We're out of time- Wolf's testimony is both better supported and, in general, much more palatable to the public than the one that you and Zelda would present."

"He's prejudiced against him!" Mario cried out desperately. "He's too blinded by hatred to see anything other than his own narrow point of view!"

"You mean, like AFOSB and the Harry Potter Headscratchers page on Tvtropes?" the Master Hand mused.

"I thought we were finally moving past that," Mario muttered, "but yeah, basically like that!"

"Sorry- I just wanted to jump on the bandwagon before it left town," the Master Hand shrugged. "Anyways, the thing is, Roy hasn't exactly done a good job of making himself seem innocent- attacking Rosalina with a knife, a knife, moreover, that he intended to take into a room filled with students- the only way to save him at this point in time would be to find Mumkhar himself- and he will have long since left these grounds."

Mario looked up at the Master Hand. "Y-you believe us, don't you?"

"I do," the Master Hand nodded, "but I, unfortunately, haven't been given the power to show others the truth. Nor do I have the power necessary to overturn Roy's sentence personally. My hands- no pun intended- are tied."

Mario slowly fell back onto his bed. There went their last hope- over the last year, Mario had gotten so used to the idea that the Master Hand could solve anything, put together a plan to save everyone at the drop of a hat- if the Master Hand couldn't do anything, then the game really was well and truly over.

"You know what would be helpful, I think?" the Master Hand spoke again. "What would truly be great would be if we had more time."

"Time?" Mario and Zelda asked blankly.

"Time... indeed, time is the keyword here today," the Master Hand continued his musing. "If only Farore, goddess of time, saw fit to grant us the gift of more of it. However, time flows like a river, never recoverable, except to a blessed few..."

Zelda suddenly gasped. "You mean... you mean?!"

"I mean," the Master Hand did his weird nodding-gesture again. "Now... Roy is being isolated on this building's roof. Not an easy thing to get up to, but I'm certain you'll think of a way. If you do well, you'll save him, but if you do excellently, then Roy's life may not be the only one you spare tonight. And Zelda- if you remember anything else I've said, remember this- you must not be seen. Samus gave you the full orientation, and she couldn't have emphasized it enough- you must not be seen."

Turning, the Master Hand floated to the door and opened it up. ""I'm going to lock the door. You must be back before I do, otherwise the consequences would be... undesirable. We're all relying on you- good luck."

The door shut, and Mario and Zelda looked up at each other. "Okay, I'll just come out and admit it," Mario said. "I haven't got the slightest clue what he was talking about."

"Well, fortunately, I do," Zelda affirmed. "Wrap your arms around me."

"What?" Mario asked flatly, staring at her. She was reaching for her chest.

"Just do it!" she said, sounding urgent. From her dress, she produced a strange blue, potato-shaped thing with a stem of some sort that she was placing her mouth on. Mario shrugged, but stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. Checking to make sure he was doing as she'd said, she began to blow, causing notes of music to come from it. The tune she played was haunting, and roughly fifteen to sixteen notes long. A black rectangle appeared in front of them, reading, Save and Return to 'Afternoon of the Final Day?' Yes/ No. Zelda reached out and tapped on Yes, and suddenly, everything faded to white, and Mario let out a gasp as they suddenly started falling. Around them was a simple white void, except for hundreds and hundreds of clocks, forming a tunnel down which they were falling and falling until...

Everything became black. White text appeared in front of them: Afternoon of the Final Day. Three hours remain. And finally, everything faded in again.

Looking around, Mario blinked in confusion. They were in the mansion's foyer. If that wasn't confusing enough, the view outside the windows suddenly showed the grounds brightly lit with sunlight. "Um... I may be wrong, but wasn't it night, like, three seconds ago?" he asked.

"Oh, relax, Mario," Zelda said, tucking the strange necklace back under her dress. "We've just gone back in time three hours."

"Oh, because that's such a normal thing to do," Mario muttered.

"Welcome to my life for the past year," Zelda retorted. "You can let go of me, by the way."

Mario leapt back, releasing his arms from their hold around Zelda. "Okay," he said. "Explanation. Now. Please."

"Look, the thing is," Zelda started, only to suddenly look up intently at the sound of approaching footsteps. "With me!" she said quickly, reaching out and grabbing Mario by his shirt's collar, pulling him across the foyer to the entrance to the dungeons. She shut the door behind them, and put her ear up to it. She didn't really need to- noises from the foyer didn't take long to penetrate their ears- it sounded like a drunken parrot doing some sort of strange mating call.

"Wait, isn't that the signal you made up to put the blanket on?" Mario asked, question marks appearing in his eyes. Zelda waved desperately for silence, then looked back out. "Okay, hearing the footsteps, I think we've left..."

"No, I'm pretty sure we're right here," Mario pointed out. "And here's the part where you explain what the heck is going on."

Zelda rounded on him, producing her necklace once more. "Do you recognize this?" she asked, pointing at the blue-potato-thing at the end.

"It's an... ocarina, isn't it?" Mario asked, squinting.

"Look closer!"

Mario did so, and noticed a symbol imprinted onto the mouthpiece: a circle that seemed to have waves coming off of it, though only in one direction. (And no, he wasn't singing.) "Okay, what's your point?"

"This isn't just any ocarina- it's an ocarina of time," Zelda explained rapidly. "You can play songs on it to do all kinds of things, but the main function is with the song of time- it sends you back in time by three hours!"

"The heck did you get that thing?" Mario asked, too surprised to speak normally.

"Samus gave it to me, way back when we first got here!" Zelda motor-mouthed. "Because my schedule was packed, you see- she wanted to make sure I could get to all my classes, so this is how I've been doing it- I've been resetting time every three hours to get to those classes again!"

"Just three hours?"

"Only three hours- any longer, and the results would be bad."

"What do you mean by 'bad?'"

"Look, when you go back in time, there are multiple copies of yourself in that time plane- and that causes a contradiction. There can't be two of you on the same time plane, it's against nature, and scientists have found that three hours is as long as reality can hold itself together despite that contradiction. Any longer than that, and... well..."

"And what?"

"Imagine all of reality stopping instantaneously and every particle of your body exploding at the speed of light."

"Total protonic reversal!" Mario gasped.

"Yeah, important safety tip from Samus- she made me swear not to use it for anything but my classes, to not go further back than three hours, and to not tell anyone- she had to vouch for me with the Government, she spent all summer writing letters so that I could have this thing, telling them I'd never misuse it, accidentally or otherwise."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Mario asked, his hands raising. "How would we know what would happen if that contradiction undid the universe- how would you go about experimenting with something like that?"

"You don't want to know," Zelda said quickly, ears reddening. "The point is, this is what I've been doing all year."

"But wait, cramming all those extra hours into a day, reliving all that time- it would drive you nuts, wouldn't it?" Zelda glared at him for a moment, and Mario facepalmed. "Oh... right."

"Thanks for reminding me," Zelda glowered. "Anyways, yeah, we're three hours in the past right now. I kind of see what the Master Hand wants- now we have more time to save Roy, but... we don't really have a plan. All we have is: Step 1: Go back in time. Step 2: Do something or other. Step 3: Save Roy. I don't get what Step 2 is supposed to be!"

Mario raised a hand. "Alright, brain working. What were we doing three hours ago? Well, we just heard your weird mating calls, so we're probably going down to Crazy's to... to..." Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he cried. "The Master Hand said that if we do excellently, Roy's life might not be the only one spared- Zelda, we have to save Epona, too!"

"Epona?" Zelda asked, question marks in her eyes. "Why- oh, of course! Roy will be on the roof- we save Epona, and fly up with her!" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, however, her face fell. "But we'd need a miracle to do that without being seen..."

"I'm starting to rely on those more and more," Mario muttered. "Anyways, we won't accomplish much sitting here talking about it, will we? Let's get going- don't want to reset time again, here, do we?"

Zelda shrugged, and the two exited the dungeons and into the foyer. As they crossed, Zelda was wringing her hands. "I hope nobody decides to look out of the windows..."

"Look, how about we go to the Lost Woods first?" Mario suggested. "Hide out in the trees, and make our way to Crazy's cabin from there."

Zelda agreed, but only as long as they took what had to be the most indirect possible path, winding around the mansion, through the greenhouses, across the kart-racing track, around the Smash-Up stadium, a swim across Lake Delfino, and, finally, into the trees. They plunged into the maze and started taking random paths until one of the tunnels led them back out of the Woods, right next to Crazy's cabin.

"About... freaking... time," Mario panted, as they finally took a breather next to a large oak tree. They didn't have much time to rest, though. They heard a knock from the front of Crazy's cabin, and Mario's own voice rang out: "Crazy, it's us!"

Mario shook his head in exasperation. "Okay, we've done some weird things before, but I think this just about trumps all."

"Follow me," Zelda said, beckoning him forward. "We've got to get close to Epona, but not too close!"

Mario shrugged as he followed her. Finally, they arrived next to Crazy's garden, where Epona was tied up to a pole in the ground, currently sleeping with her head under her wing. Trying to shake off memories of the previous year and Crazy's 'Special Crop,' Mario deferred to Zelda. "Alright, we grab her now?"

"Not yet," Zelda said, shaking her head. "We need the people from the Government to see her here, or they'll think Crazy let her go- we need it to look like she got kidnapped!"

Mario shrugged and continued leaning against the tree. Abruptly, however, he stepped forward, an idea forming in his mind. "Zelda-"

Zelda turned to face him. "If it's something to do with time travel, I can almost guarantee that the answer is 'no.'"

"Something like that," Mario muttered. "The thing is- why don't we just burst in there and grab Oreo- I mean, Mumkhar- while he's still in that form? We grab him, drag him out here, stun him, let Epona go at the right time, and just wait the rest of the three hours out? Roy gets turned loose, so does Epona, and the only people who would see us would be ourselves, Link, and Crazy!"

"Too many people," Zelda shook her head. "Besides, I'd be the only person who'd know about time travel, but what would Link, you, and Crazy think? You don't even need to get into a fight with your past self- all you need to do is touch, and the results would be bad!"

"How bad is 'bad'?"

"Imagine reality stop-"

"Okay, okay, I get the point!" Mario shook his head. "Lots of rules to time travel, aren't there?"

"There's a whole book I had to read on the subject," Zelda nodded. "Time Travel is not a Toy, by Crono Truce! You mess up, it's not good for anybody! We can't be seen!"

"Alright, alright," Mario muttered, his hands in the air. "I concede-"

Zelda quickly silenced him as the back door to Crazy's cabin opened. Looking, they saw the Master Hand, Olimar, Edgeworth, and Dahlia making their way down to the cabin. On the other side, they saw Crazy urging invisible people out of his door. "Get out of here, get out!"

"No, Crazy-"

"We can't!"

"We can testify, get you an actual appeal!"

"It's too late for that!" Crazy cried. "It's bad enough without you getting in trouble, too!" Mario winced. It was still so strange to hear Crazy talking normally.

Mario and Zelda stared as the ground depressed where their past selves put their feet, marking their departure from the building and the start of their ascent back towards the mansion.

As they left, there was a knock on Crazy's door. Voices filtered from the front- Edgeworth seemed to be the one to greet Crazy, looking just as solemn as he ever did. The one who sounded least sympathetic to him- despite having the sweetest voice of the bunch- was, of course, Dahlia Hawthorn.

"So, where is the little troublemaker?" she asked with a giggle. They heard Crazy pointing towards the garden with a strangled sob. The back door of the cabin opened briefly, with Dahlia poking her head out. Next came the much more sympathetic voice of Olimar Tate.

"Alright, Crazy, my good man... I've got the notice here, I'll go ahead and read it- if that's alright with you, of course..."

"I'm afraid I'll have to insist on that, Mr. President," came Edgeworth's voice. "It's bad enough we must do this at all, we may as well do it properly."

"Alright," Olimar said, his voice shaking. "And... and once it's read out..."

"All the witnesses will need to sign," Edgeworth contributed. "Incidentally, that includes you, Dahlia."

Dahlia tilted her head at the bird she'd come to kill, then withdrew back into the cabin, closing the door behind her. Olimar's voice began to drone, reading the paper with all the emotion of a vacuum cleaner. Glancing briefly at Zelda for approval, Mario stepped out from the trees, and, walking as quietly as he could, made his way towards Epona. Epona, hearing him, lifted her wing and raised her head to look at him, tilting it slightly as she got him in her sights.

Mario was sure not to blink as he approached, slowly sinking into a bow. Epona considered him briefly, then bowed back. Mario stepped forward and began struggling with the rope tying her up. As Olimar's voice droned on, and Mario had still failed to undo it, he heard Zelda moaning for him to hurry. Finally, he gave a grunt of "Forget this!" and snapped his fingers, summoning a small candle flame to their tips. He put it next to the knot, simply burning it away, but made sure not to allow the flames to spread too far. He grabbed what was left of the rope and began trying to lead Epona way from the cabin. However, the bird seemed pretty reluctant to leave the garden.

"Come on, Epona!" Mario moaned desperately- they were running on a tight schedule, after all.

"Alright, Edgeworth, I think this is where you sign..."

"Quite. And Crazy? Your signature here..."

Mario was pulling on the rope as hard as he could, throwing his whole body into it, but Epona simply refused to budge. He froze up as he heard the voices from the cabin speak again- "Well, here we go." Dahlia. "This really is fascinating. I am sorry about this, Crazy, but the fact is, regardless of how you feel about it, I really do want your loftwing to die."

The door opened slightly, only to stop as the Master Hand's voice rang out. "Oh, Ms. Hawthorn, you haven't signed yet- and nor have I, for that matter."

Slowly, almost reluctantly, the door shut again.

Mario breathed a sigh of relief, but they weren't in the clear yet- Epona was still stubbornly refusing to move. It was only after quite a bit of tugging and pulling that he finally got Epona to stand and begin grudgingly making her way away from the pole, and towards the Lost Woods. Zelda stepped out from behind her tree, making urgent motions for speed. Mario, however, was pulling as fast as he could.

"Could you take any longer to sign your name, Mr. Hand?" came the uncharacteristically agitated voice of Dahlia Hawthorn.

"Well, it's quite a long name," the Master Hand pointed out. "And it needs to be my best handwriting- we wouldn't want anyone doubting the legitimacy of this execution, after all."

Mario shook his head. Thank the Wave Existence for the Master Hand's eccentricity. He bought him exactly the time he needed to pull Epona the last few yards into the Lost Woods, where he and Zelda wasted no time in pulling as far into the tunnels as they could. From there, they quietly watched as, at last, the group left the cabin. A noise of confusion went over the group.

"The loftwing..." came Edgeworth's voice, in the tone of someone painfully aware of how obvious what they were pointing out was, "... has disappeared."

"But... but..." came Dahlia's voice, sounding incredibly shocked, "I- it was just here! I saw it! I know I saw!"

"Truly mysterious," commented the Master Hand, though his tone of voice would imply he didn't consider it that mysterious at all.

Mario stared at Dahlia's face- the soft innocence that seemed to radiate from her had vanished- in its place was raw malice that looked, frankly, terrifying on her visage. Her umbrella swung around and struck the fence, where it seemed to fall apart, enraging her even further. Then came Crazy's voice, calling out to the sky. But this time, they could hear words: "She be goin! She get herself out! She... she be makin' herself free! I... I guess I no be tyin' her up right! She pull herself out- Epona, you clever girl!"

Mario breathed a sigh of relief. No Crazy like the old Crazy. Epona seemed to share this sentiment, as she began straining to approach Crazy. Mario, however, sensing this would be disastrous, united with Zelda in pulling back on her rope as hard as they could.

"You really think a creature like that could be that intelligent?!" Dahlia snarled. "No, someone let him out! We have to search the grounds!"

"Well, I wouldn't consider that the best option," Edgeworth spoke up in his refined voice. "If I were to steal a loftwing, for example, I most certainly wouldn't bother escaping on foot- it is the skies we must watch."

"Perfectly logical," the Master Hand said cheerily. "Are you alright, Mr. President?"

"Ambivalent," Olimar said, shaking his head. "I... I really don't know how to feel about this..."

"Well, maybe we can talk it over... over some Mountain Dew, perhaps?" the Master Hand suggested. "My half-brother makes some very fine soda."

"That sounds lovely, thank you," Olimar said, rubbing his temples.

"I'd prefer some grape juice, if you happen to have any," Edgeworth said, the smallest of smiles gracing his features as he followed the troop in, leaving a fuming Dahlia outside. Mario and Zelda, meanwhile, withdrew into the maze, finally coming out in the very clearing where this whole mess had started in the first place.

"So, now what?" Mario asked, massaging his heart, trying to sooth it.

"Now we wait," Zelda said. "Our next move is to fly up to the roof and save Roy, but he's not going to be there for a couple hours still... and then, we have to be careful not to be seen, but also to get up to him in that small window of time... this isn't going to be easy..."

"Changing the future never is," Mario muttered, sitting down on a nearby stump.

Slowly, the light began to dim as the sun began to climb down in the sky. Mario turned to Zelda. "Let's get out of here, try to find a vantage point to watch the flaaghra from- we'll need to know what's going on..."

Zelda nodded, and they began making their way through the trees, finally arriving back next to Crazy's cabin. Dahlia had deserted the place already, leaving them free to make their way along Lake Delfino's shores, right next to the Lost Woods, until the flaaghra was in sight. From here, they headed into the Lost Woods once more- very shallowly, however, not even reaching the maze.

Mario's mouth dropped as the scene unfolded before them- the whole ridiculous Scooby-Dooby-Doors thing occurring once more. Finally, it culminated with Link pouncing onto the ground, tackling Oreo. Mario and Zelda appeared behind him, dropping the blanket nearby. Roy- as a wolf, of course- appeared from the side, tackling Link and dragging him into the flaaghra. Next, of course, came Mario and Zelda's attempts to enter the passage, leading to both of the present-day versions wincing as they momentarily relived their injuries from that fight. Simba, their salvation, appeared and placed his paws on the flower's base, allowing them entry. Not long after this, the troop from Crazy's cabin appeared, walking over almost the exact same stretch of ground.

"They were right there!" Zelda gasped. "Right there! If only the Master Hand could have come, too..."

"If he had, then the others would have to have come, too. Olimar would have probably had Roy executed on sight..." Mario muttered.

More waiting. The next moment was Fox, stepping out of the mansion and crossing the grounds until he arrived near the flaaghra. The flaaghra, it seemed, hadn't yet recovered from when Simba had immobilized it, and Fox was able to walk directly into the tunnel. Mario turned to Zelda. "Zelda!" he said. "I've just had an idea!"

"Like I said before," Zelda said immediately, shaking her head, "if you want to change time, no go."

"Look, all I want to do is run out and grab my blanket before Wolf gets the chance to use it!"

"Nope," Zelda said. "If you changed time like that, you could create a paradox, and that would be bad. Imagine reality stop-"

"Okay, okay, I get the point!" Mario said quickly.

However, no amount of fear of paradoxes, or overuse of the word 'of,' was enough to deter Mario from growling, sounding almost like an angry dog, when Wolf crossed the grounds a few minutes later, stepped on the blanket, looked down, shrugged, and hoisted it over his shoulder. "Get your filthy hands off of it, you d #% dirty wolf!" Zelda quietly reached out to silence him.

Wolf then approached the Flaaghra itself, and began running his hands over it. From their distance, they could still hear him muttering, "Now, where is that spot? It's impossible to find..." No sooner had he said this than he hit exactly the right spot, and the flaaghra, which had just been beginning to twitch once more, froze in place, allowing wolf passage into the tunnel.

"Alright," Mario muttered. "Everyone's down. Now, to wait for them to come back up..."

Mario and Zelda sat down, leaning against the trees, with Epona curling up next to them. Mario had to admit, it would have been a nice scene, if it weren't for their urgent mission with the potential to end reality if they messed up. Why did it always have to be so 'down-to-the-wire' all the time?

Zelda was the one to finally break the silence. "Mario... there's just one thing I don't understand."

"One thing?" Mario snorted. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around this story's first chapter."

"Yeah..." Zelda said absentmindedly. "The thing is... why are you and I here?"

"Because... we walked here?" Mario asked, staring.

"No, no... as in, why are we here on this planet?"

"Because Earth can support life?" Mario ventured.

"No, why do we exist at all?"

"We were born?"

"Dang it, Mario, I'm asking how we're still alive after that last chapter- when we were being attacked by floows!"

"Oh, easy," Mario noted. "Floows don't kill, they just suck your soul out. I mean, yeah, that's worse than being dead, but that's why we're still here."

"Mario!" Zelda grumbled. "I mean, why didn't the floows get us?"

"Oh," Mario muttered. "Well... the truth is, I saw someone using a final smash. A big one, one enough to drive off all those floows. Some sort of fiery creature..."

Zelda turned to look at him. "Do you realize what you're saying? That's just so... unlikely. Someone would have had to have known we were out here in the first place- and nobody did- and that person would have to be fantastic with final smashes... Did you see who it was? One of the teachers?"

"No... I mean, I saw them, but they weren't a teacher..."

"Come on, work with me here! Didn't you hear what Wolf said earlier? To drive off that many floows, it would have to be an obscenely powerful smasher- one that could earn even Wolf's respect! You say it was fire-based- didn't the fire light them up?"

"Sure did," Mario agreed, "but... I must have seen wrong. I mean, I was freaking out, and I was about to pass out, too, so..."

"Who do you think it was?" Zelda asked.

Mario sighed, fully aware of how whacked out he was about to sound. "I think... it was my Dad."

Mario glanced at Zelda, and cringed away from the pity and sympathy in her eyes. "Mario... I... well... it can't be, I mean... your Dad's... you know..."

"Yeah, I know," Mario nodded. "But I can only tell you what I think I saw..."

"Maybe... maybe a ghost?" Zelda asked.

"Well, that would be the obvious explanation, but... no, he was too solid to be a ghost."

"Mario..."

"I know it sounds crazy! For all I know, I was crazy at the time, given all the stuff going on, but... but that's what I saw."

Mario shook his head in confusion, watching the glimmering water of Lake Delfino. He turned everything over in his mind. The rational part of his mind, fact-based, the vulcan side of him, which most often spoke in Zelda's voice, was telling him that it was ridiculous, he might as well try and dive to the bottom of Lake Delfino and breath there for an hour as hope to see his father alive again. For that matter, how would his Dad even know he was in trouble to begin with, even if he had somehow survived Tabuu's attack to begin with? But the other side of him, the emotional side that spoke with Link's voice... that was another story. It was pointing out that, if his Dad had been there, it wouldn't be the first time that night that someone who was supposed to be long dead had appeared. Mumkhar had been in hiding for all that time, so was it really so impossible that his father was in a similar situation?

XXXX

And so it came to be that the two of them remained silent for roughly an hour, before the flaaghra suddenly returned to life, struggling to bat at a small shape at its base- a shape that quickly ran a paw over the spot on the flower, freezing the monstrosity once more. The strange entourage that had left the tunnel beneath did so once more, climbing out and beginning their trek across the grounds. Suddenly, Mario froze. "Er... Zelda?"

"If it's something to do with changing time-"

"Not exactly, but... we should move. Like, now."

"Do I need to give you the reality-ending speech again?"

"No, not necessary, the thing is- Fox is about to transform, and when he does, he's ultimately going to run right into the Woods- right where we are!"

Zelda gasped. Even as Mario spoke those words, there was a scream from the grounds, and they turned to see Fox trembling as the transformation set in. "Back into the Woods! We can wait back at that clearing!"

The two made a beeline back into the woods, running through random tunnels in the maze until they appeared back at Crazy's cabin, whereupon they turned back into the maze and made their way to the clearing.

Epona seemed to be content to be here again. Mario, however, kept glancing uneasily back out into the woods. Something was eating away at the back of his mind...

"I'm going to go to the edge of the Woods," he said. Seeing the suspicious look on Zelda's face, he raised his hands. "Hey, I like reality as much as the next guy- I won't interfere and risk anything! I just want to keep an eye out, so we know when to take off!" Zelda, however, still looked suspicious, causing Mario to sigh. "I'd sign a release form, except that if the world did end, it wouldn't exactly be worth much. So, for now, you'll just have to trust me on this one."

Zelda slowly, reluctantly nodded, and Mario set off back through the woods. He had been telling half of the truth- he did, of course, want to ensure that they left to save Roy at the right time, but he had something of an ulterior motive- spying the person who'd saved his, Roy, and Zelda's bacon. Far from being seen, he wanted to do some seeing of his own.

As he approached the lake, he could already feel the chill running down his spine, a chill that deepened as he looked at the lake itself, seeing it quickly and abruptly freeze over. His emotional side was in overdrive... if it really was his father, then he was about to meet him for the first time in thirteen years, for the first time since he'd been a little runt in diapers...

He increased his pace as he looked over the water and saw the twister of floows spinning around. He saw some dim, brief flashes of light- his and Zelda's attempts at their own final smashes. He pulled into the trees, trying to avoid being seen. Zelda's lights ceased to appear. She'd passed out- two down, one to go...

Mario took a position behind a tree, carefully watching the stretch of land he'd seen. Whoever had rescued them was about to put in their appearance. Anticipation ran through his veins, as his eyes flicked between the shores- the one where he lay, dying, and the one where his savior was about to appear...

Except no savior was coming. The shore on his side of the lake was just as empty now as ever. He grew impatient, beginning to tap his foot. Whoever it was was certainly taking their dear, sweet time. He didn't have all night- in fact, the him that was across the water didn't have five minutes- his fire had gone out, marking the end of his feeble attempts at defence...

Mario eagerly looked across the bank, from side to side, even glancing into the woods. But still, nobody was there. His foot-tapping increased. Where were they?

Suddenly, it occurred to him. An electric current seemed to pulse through him as the truth hit him like a charging werepig. Someone who looked like his father? Moreover, a pyromancer who looked like his father, who'd known where they were, that they were in danger, and had stepped in just in time to save the day? He smacked himself for being so stupid- not his father... himself!

He charged out from behind the tree, summoning all the thoughts that he could. His friends and godfather were in danger, but they weren't going to be hurt, because to hell with that! He was going to save them- they were his friends, and if the floows thought they could hurt them, they'd have to answer to him!

All inspiring, but by the time he got to the lakeshore, he had still only summoned enough fire to cover his hands. He still needed something more...

And then it occurred to him. The truth was, even though he complained a lot, he loved references as much as the next person. And now, it was time to make another. The only reference to make in this situation. He stood back, taking the appropriate stance, with his hands held out dramatically in front of him, still crackling with burning fire. "Kaaaaaameeeeeeee..." he began, and the fire began to spread, enveloping his body. But still not enough... "Haaaaameeeeee... HAAAAA!"

The fire burst off of him, rolling off of him in wave after wave. A column of flames burst high into the night, marking the spot where a creature of fire was being born- a great, majestic bird, burning with flames so hot, they were white, which rushed across the lake, bringing the water beneath it to a frothing boil just by being near...

The bird charged the floows, bringing even more waves of fire with it. The floows seemed to panic as they saw this bane of their existence approaching, scattering and taking off into the night. Mario, for the first time, could clearly see the people he was saving, laying unconscious on the ground, illuminated by the fire. The only one still awake was his past self, eyes only half-open, and closing as the bird crossed the lake once more, coming to rest on Mario's outstretched arm.

Mario smiled as he reached up to stroke it. Suddenly, everything made sense, and he saw the joke that had been waiting to be seen. "Captain America, hm?" he asked, stroking the fiery eagle currently nesting on his arm. The eagle tilted its head at him, seemingly amused, before dissipating in a puff of smoke.

"MARIO M. MARIO!" came a shout from the Woods, and Mario turned to see Zelda sprinting across the lakeshore. "What the heck did you do?!"

"I saved our butts!" Mario explained quickly.

"What kind of lookout was that?!" Zelda cried, looking hysterical- some of it was even rubbing off on Epona, who was beginning to flex her feathers nervously.

"Calm thine jets," Mario said, raising his hand. "Let me explain." And he did. Zelda's jaw dropped as she listened to his narrative.

"Mario... that's amazing," she said. "Mastering final smashes like that... but what if you'd been seen?"

"I was seen," Mario pointed out. "I told you already, didn't I? I saw me, but I thought I was my Dad! Now, the idea's been planted in his head, and when he goes back in time and becomes me, it'll bloom, and he'll do the same thing! It's the circle of life!"

Zelda shook her head. "So... time travel," she muttered. Suddenly, she looked up, gasped, and said, "Quick! Into the shadows!"

The trio of two smashers and one loftwing quickly withdrew before Mario turned to see what had spooked Zelda. Across the shore, Wolf had put in his appearance, approaching the three unconscious bodies. Examining them briefly, he lifted them and began carrying them away, one by one.

"Okay," Zelda said. "'Make-it-or-break-it' time. We succeed now, or it's all been for nothing- we have to get up to the roof after Roy's been put up there, but before anyone comes for him. A very narrow window..."

Slowly, the group made their way across the lake, making sure to stay as out-of-sight as possible. Abruptly, Zelda gasped. "Look!"

Mario followed her gaze and saw a woman dressed in white sprinting across the grounds. "Dahlia," he muttered, dislike evident in his voice. "Alright, onto Epona, let's fly!"

The two climbed onto Epona, where Mario grabbed her rope and adjusted it like reigns. "Hi-ho, Epona!" he called out, smiling slightly to himself as he did so. He just couldn't let the references go...

He gave a whoop of excitement as they took off into the air, an excitement Zelda didn't seem to share- she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, returning the favor for earlier in the chapter, and her face was rapidly turning green as they took off, higher and higher, her eyes closed to avoid watching the ground fall away.

They spun up high into the air, and, if you were positioned in the right place that night, you may have even been able to see a majestic bird with two riders astride it, framed against the moon. Looking down, Mario smiled- the Smash Mansion looked so small from up here. Epona, in her joy to be free and flying again, seemed to have overshot her mark- just by a bit. Next, he brought her around and sent them streaking back down towards the mansion. Mario, being something of a closet adrenaline junkie who secretly sought out all the freakiest-looking roller coasters at amusement parks, enjoyed it immensely, but Zelda was screaming all the way down.

Finally, they landed on the roof of the mansion- as wide as a football field. Scanning around quickly, they saw a man in blue rushing towards them, mouth on the ground. "What the- how-" Roy stuttered.

"Oh, good, you've already seen us," Mario said, smiling. "That makes things a little simpler."

"I saw you framed against the moon!" Roy said, smiling. "A truly majestic sight- but how did you have the time to do all this?"

"Long story, with no time to explain," Mario said simply. "Come on, get on the bird!"

Roy, shaking, moved forward, bowing to Epona, who only hesitated for a second or two before bowing back. Approaching, Roy began to stroke her, appreciating her crimson plumage. "Beautiful girl," he noted.

Mario was tapping his foot impatiently. "Roy, the floows are on their way here now. You've got to go!"

Roy turned to them. "Thank you both so much. It's a shame I got to spend so much time with Jake and Sarah, and so little with you, but I'm glad to have come to know you. You have truly become a great smasher, and-"

"No time for sappy stuff!" Mario called out. "The floows are coming!"

Roy smiled, shaking his head. "In that case... take these," he said reaching into his armor and producing a handful of letters of some sort. "They'll explain more than I have time to..."

Mario accepted them, tucking them into the pockets of his overalls, before saying, "Thanks. Now get out of here!"

Roy threw them one last smile, then kicked off much as Mario had, sending him and Epona soaring into the sky. Mario felt an odd mixture of joy and pity in his stomach as watched his godfather soaring off, growing smaller and smaller in the distance, until he blinked, and he had disappeared.

XXXX

So much for a long hiatus- this is going up one day after the last one! I think it's kind of contradictory- if I know ahead of time that a hiatus is coming, I work all the harder to get content out while I still can. That said, the last chapter, the one that marks the end of this story and, simultaneously, the end of this series, may come tomorrow, or a week from now, or, Wave Existence forbid, three weeks from now. When that time comes, I'm sure you'll see plenty of sappy stuff- as you always do when things come to an end. Until then, please R&R, constructive criticism accepted, flames, not as much, Gamer4 out.