~o^o~

"Things have been pretty quiet around here," Nicholson said. He and the other two officers were in Harvey's quarters, doing nothing in particular.

"Well, dear old Leeroy Jenkins is in Sickbay," Harvey replied, tipping his chair back. "And we're the only other real troublemakers."

"Are you suggesting we try something?" Sanchez asked. Harvey shrugged.

"I can't think of anything," he said. An evil grin spread across Sanchez's face. Just then, an email arrived, and Nicholson clicked on it.

"Rules!" He cried.

"Print them and follow me," Sanchez said, hopping off Harvey's bed.

~o^o~

481. Master Guin is not one of the Penguins of Madagascar.

-Or a Pittsburgh Penguin.

-Or a real penguin.

-She was not in "Surf's Up" or "Happy Feet." Stop asking.

-Better yet, stop talking.

482. "Go Go Gummy Rangers!" is NOT the theme for a new Ranger team! Knock it off!

-This also goes for "Go Go Gadget Rangers!"

483. Annoying the snot out of the villains is not a 'special' Ranger power.

484. Master Rilla's last name is NOT Gorilla.

-Nor is his first name Magilla.

485. I am forbidden from painting Rocky's Apezord purple so I can call it "Grape Ape."

486. Racing any of the Zords is prohibited.

-So is having "Zord Battles" with the animal Zords.

-There is no "Zord Battle Commission."

487. No, I cannot give all the Zords names and paint those names on them.

488. Each Ranger team does not need their own mascot.

489. Q-tips are not pieces of advice on how to defeat the Q-Rex. Stop telling Ransik this.

-And every other villain.

-Especially the gullible ones.

490. I am not allowed to petition the mayor of Angel Grove to name streets after their Ranger team just so I can live on Billy Cranston Ave.

-Or Zack Taylor Rd.

-Or whatever.

491. The Zords do not have slots for quarters to make them work. They are not rides.

492. Cmdr. Fowler is not "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."

493. Rita Repulsa is not Mary Poppins' evil twin.

494. I cannot create a "Power Rangers: The Musical."

-Even if there are Rangers who want to do it.

-Especially if there are Rangers who want to do it.

495. Stop calling the Phantom Ranger the Phantom Menace.

496. I cannot go to Divatox and invoke the "right of parlay."

497. I will not replace the 'm' in Moogers with a 'b'.

-Even if "Jayden snickered that one time."

498. I will not deliberately do or say anything stupid or ridiculous just so I can get on "the list."

499. I cannot build an amusement park out of the old Zords and call it Zord World.

-Or anything else.

500. "Because I can" has never been, is not now, nor will it ever be, a valid excuse doing anything stupid."

~o^o~

Captain Logan strode into the sickbay, with the sort of expression that reminded people of their pressing business in another room. Beside the two occupied beds, Sanchez and Harvey tried to look as innocent as possible. Nicholson woke up just as Captain Logan stopped at the foot of the bed. Leeroy Jenkins watched as well as he could, being nearly mummified in bandages.

"What happened?" Nicholson moaned, and looked down at the metallic cast blinking on his left leg. Then he saw his commander's face, and shrank back against the sheets.

"Let me see if I can jog your memory. Pirate costumes, Zord bay, grappling hooks—"

"Oh yeah, that," Nicholson said, wincing. "That was Sanchez's idea."

"Thanks a lot!" Sanchez cried. "You wouldn't have slipped if you hadn't been so busy correcting Harvey's posture!"

"Hey, you were the ones who wanted to try rock climbing, is it my fault that I've never done it before?" Harvey broke in. Before the three could get into a real fight, Captain Logan coughed, and they stopped.

"It doesn't matter whose idea it was. You all participated, and Nicholson was just lucky that he hadn't gotten higher than the Zord's knee when he fell. Though I am curious—what exactly prompted the three of you to attempt to climb up the Transwarp Megazord, in pirate garb?"

"…We were bored," Sanchez said with a shrug.

"Normally, I'd have you put on Zord cleaning detail for a week, but frankly I don't trust you around them," Captain Logan said. "You will take over cleaning duties for everyone else on the base, which you will have plenty of time for because you're all suspended for a month." And he turned to leave.

"Sir?" It was Leeroy Jenkins. Captain Logan gave him a look. "Does this include all the cleaning jobs you gave me?"

"No," Logan said, and walked out. Leeroy sighed.

"You guys won't have to worry about the basements," he said. "Or the bathrooms. I wish I'd been up—you guys come up with such cool ideas! While you're sober!"

"…Thanks?" Harvey replied.

~o^o~

All from, guess who, T.F. Crosby.

A/N: Judging by previous reviews, you people like it when the OCs do ridiculous and incredibly immature things. So…yeah.

I do not own: Razor Sharpe, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad, Ghostbusters, Doctor Who, or The Spoony One's Let's Play series. Oh, and Power Rangers.

Five hundred! I...did not expect to get this far. Thank you guys for all your suggestions!