She didn't know how she felt. Her hormones were all over the place. With her mother dying while Derek was away it threw her emotions out of whack. She had to be strong for Avery and she failed at that with all of the crying.
Meredith slowly made her way downstairs. Derek was still in their room, she felt like she should wait for him, but she definitely wanted to get this over with. Peeking in from the hallway she saw Mark sitting in the corner running his hand over his face almost as though he were annoyed. Then she looked over on the couch and saw probably one of the most beautiful women ever, which now made her feel insignificant. She had long light brown hair with just a little gray peeking out. Her face was pretty much flawless with only a few wrinkles. She had to be at least in her late fifties early sixties. How could this be Derek's mother? If anything Derek had to look like his father because she was not seeing the resemblance. Avery suddenly brought her back to reality when she heard her daughter's tiny confused voice. She now noticed Avery sitting on his mother's lap. She smoothed her little curls back as she talked to her.
"You daddy's mommy?? Daddy's you baby?" she asked furrowing her brow.
"Avery for the tenth time she is daddy's mommy, which would make her your Nana." Mark snapped like he was losing his mind.
"Mark…" Grace said his name with warning. "She is almost three she doesn't have to understand."
"I'm almost twenty-six and I don't get it." Meredith mumbled to herself. She was still hiding out in the hallway peeking around the corner when Derek walked up behind her.
"What's wrong?" he frowned wrapping his arms around her.
"Your mother is freaking gorgeous!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice.
"Mer…" he sighed pulling away to lean against the wall.
"Derek don't… look at me. I'm… I am meeting your classic movie star mother wearing a tank top that definitely can't cover me and my shorts are ridiculously short… She has to be wearing Chanel… and I look like you met me at a strip club or something." She sobbed as quietly as possible. Damn hormones.
"Meredith you look amazing and as for gorgeous you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever met." He said sincerely kissing her forehead.
"I…"
"Derek?" His mother called.
"They're probably out there making out… It's all the ever do." Mark groaned.
"Mark, we have small ears amongst us." Grace reminded him.
"Sorry mom."
"You Uncwe Mark mommy too?" Avery questioned now scrunching her nose in frustration.
"Aves." He sighed.
"Mark, leave her alone." Grace warned.
"Mom." Derek smiled walking into the room with Meredith grasping his hand tightly.
"Derek." She smiled warmly.
"Mommy this is Nana!" Avery said excitedly.
"Hello Mrs. Shepherd… I'm Meredith." She said quietly hiding behind Derek to cover herself up.
Before his mother could say anything Mark decided to chime in. "Mer, I'm loving the outfit." He smirked, but frowned when he saw the tears building in her eyes and the major death glare Derek was throwing him.
"Mark out of the room now." Grace sighed.
"Mom." Mark tried.
"I don't care where you go just out of the room, please."
"Fine." He said getting up.
"I guess that shows you when to keep your mouth shut." Derek said smugly.
"Derek, take Avery and put her up to bed please." She suggested.
"But…" he frowned.
"I want to have an actual grown up conversation." She smiled at her son.
"Okay." He said giving Meredith a quick apologetic look when he saw the worry on her face. "You'll be fine." He whispered giving her another kiss on the forehead.
"Little Miss Avery I'll see you in the morning okay?"
"We can pway Nana?"
"Of course…Love you Aves." She said kissing both her cheeks.
"Wuv you Nana." She giggled at her new Nana's silliness. Derek picked her up and walked towards Meredith.
"Mommy, wuv you… I goes to sweep in my big bed?"
"Yes baby." She giggled slightly at her daughter's intuitiveness.
"Give mommy hugs and kisses Aves so you can go to sleep." Derek said. Avery leaned over and gave Meredith her hugs and kisses. Before she knew it she was alone with Mrs. Shepherd.
"Meredith you must be so uncomfortable standing…" Grace said warmly.
"I'm fine." Meredith shifted slightly.
"Derek tells me that's you favorite word… please sit." She chuckled.
"I… okay." She said slowly sitting on the edge of the couch.
"Your picture doesn't do you justice."
"Picture?" she asked furrowing her brow.
"Derek has one of you, him and Avery." She explained.
"Oh…" she said shifting slightly trying to pull her shirt down a bit.
"Avery is a amazing little girl you have done and excellent job raising her."
"Thank you Mrs. Shepherd."
"You can call me Grace."
"Okay." She murmured still playing with her top.
"Sweetheart, do you need a blanket?" she asked noticing her playing with her clothes.
"No… It's hot." She said embarrassed.
"You know I got like that when I was pregnant with Derek."
"Really?"
"Yes, I think I drove Christopher insane that winter… Kathleen is my oldest she was only a little over a year old. I had to keep up with her and it was tough. I was burning up all the time. I think it's a boy thing because I never went through that with any of the girls."
"The doctor says we're having a girl, but I swear it's a boy."
"I have a feeling it might be a boy… They thought Derek was a girl and I kept telling them it was a boy." Grace chuckled.
"Seriously?" Meredith giggled for a minute, then frowned. "I…I'm sorry… about my clothing."
"No need to apologize as long as you're comfortable. That's all that matters." She smiled.
"Trust me I am." She breathed laying back on the cushions.
"I want to thank you."
"For what?"
"For making Derek happy. We've all been worried about him for that last few years since he moved to Seattle. You have given him everything he has ever dreamed."
"All of this is so fast… I just don't want him to regret anything." Meredith sighed.
"Can I tell you something that I've really never discussed with any of my children?"
"Yes." She nodded slowly.
"I was eighteen when I met Chris. He was a surgical intern and I was in my rebellious hippie phase. I was at a sit in at NYU when things got out of hand the cops were pushing and I ended up falling, smacking my head off the ground. I was rushed to Mount Sinai… He was in the pit and the rest is pretty much history…. We dated for about four months and I found out I was pregnant with Kathleen. Christopher was adamant on making me his wife immediately... We got married right after we found out about her. He was my soul mate. I went from being hippie girl to wife and mommy in such a short time, but I would never change a minute of it. So it doesn't matter how fast things happen. Derek is his father inside and out I know he would never regret anything. I can tell he adores you." She smiled warmly.
"Oh."
"Do you have any names picked out?" Grace asked trying to get Meredith more talkative.
"Uh… If it's a girl Ashten and if it's a boy I was thinking Brody." She said quietly.
"Those are very good names." Grace smiled. At first she thought Derek had made a mistake, but after meeting Meredith she knew she was the best thing that ever happened to her son. "Meredith, do you mind?" she asked motioning to her stomach.
"No… It's your grandchild." She whispered as Grace gently placed her hand on her belly.
"Christopher would be so proud of him… To see the father he is today." She said softly.
"Derek, doesn't say much about him… how did he die? I'm… sorry I shouldn't have asked. Derek obviously didn't want me to know… I should just keep my mouth shut." She rambled.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. Derek has a hard time with it. He always has that's probably why he doesn't talk about it."
"I… don't need to know." She said quietly.
"You're part of the family you should know."
"Really, you don't have…"
"Derek was fourteen when his father died. My youngest Abbie was a month old she had cholic. Christopher was on-call that night, but did come home for a little bit to help me out. Derek and Mark were at piano lessons…" she stopped and smiled a little when she saw Meredith trying not to giggle at the fact they both took piano lessons. "My mother made him start piano when he was five, he refused to do it unless Mark took them too… Mark saw a pretty little girl in the room before their appointment, which made him not so hard to convince." She chuckled.
"He's never changed?" Meredith giggled resting her hand on her belly.
"No and I don't think he ever will."
"I'm sorry I interrupted." She said quickly realizing she was being rude.
"You're fine sweetheart… I love remembering when they all were my little babies."
"I think I get that." She sighed already knowing she got it. Avery was going to be three next week, but she was growing up so fast. She was too smart for her own good.
"I think you do…" Grace smiled before picking up where she left off in her story. "Chris said he would pick them up for me since Abbie was fussing. When he kissed me good-bye I never thought it would be the last time I would see him… Derek's piano teacher called me about an hour later asking if anyone was going to pick them up... It was only ten minutes away I knew something wasn't right. The hospital called me after I went and got the boys… He was in a car accident… He had a cranial bleed that caused him to hemorrhage… He died on the table." Grace breathed. She wasn't crying Meredith noticed she just looked extremely heart broken.
"I'm so sorry." Meredith murmured touching her arm gently.
"It's alright. It happened a very long time ago." She smiled weakly.
"Oh my God, Derek doesn't blame himself, does he?" she realized.
"Unfortunately they both blame themselves. That's why no one really talks about him because Derek feels as though, if Christopher wasn't picking him up then he would have never been in the accident." She sighed remembering how hard he was on himself up until college.
"It's why he's a neurosurgeon." She whispered realizing she just learned something about Derek that pretty much made him who is today.
"Yes… He would never admit that's why, but I know it is the reason."
"I feel as though I don't know him as much as he knows me." She started to whimper.
"What do you mean?"
"He's know everything about my life… My dad left when I was five… My mom was the most distant and coldest parent on the planet… I was pre-med for a semester, but changed to business to piss my mother off… She kept telling me I didn't have what it took to be a doctor I knew she was using reverse psychology… Trying to make me more determined…focused. I wanted to prove to her I was going to do what I wanted so I switched majors… Then right after grad school I was sent to London for work I met Gabe and he tricked me into producing an heir for him… I loved him at first, but now thinking about it I don't know if it was love because the way I feel about Derek that's…love… My point is I love him and tell him all the messy details of my life… He knows I'm an avoider and run away… But with him I don't want to run. I don't want to avoid… He doesn't open up…" she sobbed uncontrollably.
"Meredith…" Grace said softly pulling her into her arms. "Shhhhh… Derek loves you. He is so happy… I've never seen him this in love." She assured her.
"He doesn't…want me… know who he is." She breathed through her tears. She officially hated hormones they made her cry and look pathetic. "My mother…is dead and Derek doesn't… let me know him."
"Meredith?" Derek frowned walking into the room.
"Sweetheart…" his mother tried.
"No mom, why is she crying?" he hissed.
"Derek Christopher do not snap at me." She warned.
"Sorry." He grumbled leaning down in front of Meredith who just turned on her side so he couldn't look at her.
"You two should talk… I need to get to the hotel." Grace said softly.
"Mom you're staying with us. Mark is upstairs getting your room ready."
"Derek I can stay…"
"With us." He finished smiling slightly while he rubbed Meredith's back.
"I'll be upstairs then." She sighed getting up. "Be there for her." She whispered giving him a kiss on the forehead.
"It's at the end of the hallway." He said as she nodded leaving the room. Meredith was now laying on the couch sobbing still with her back to him.
"Meredith." He whispered.
"D…Don't… please." She choked out.
"Shhhh… what's wrong, Mer?"
"Hormones… me… freak." She whimpered over her shoulder.
"You're not a freak. Tell me what's making you cry."
"You want to know why… I'm crying… my eyes…out?"
"Mer…"
"You never tell me anything about you…I just want to know you!" she said louder than intended.
Derek sat a little shocked they talked or so he thought they did. Right now she had him worried with all the crying. This wasn't good for her or the baby. "What do you want to know?" he asked softly.
"Ser…Seriously?" she asked shifting on the couch so she was facing him.
"I have nothing to hide from you, Mer… Whatever you want to know I'll tell you."
"You never talk about your father or your ex-wife… I don't know, you know…everything about me." She frowned as the tear poured down her face.
"I don't talk about my father because the last time I saw him was two days before he died." He whispered pushing her hair out of her face. "If he wasn't coming to get Mark and I he would still be alive… everyone says otherwise, but I know it's the truth." Derek said sadly.
"You can't think like that." she murmured running her tiny hand along his face.
"I try not to think about it at all." He admitted quietly leaning into her touch.
"He was you're father and he loved you."
"I know… It hurts still that's why I don't talk about it because it feels like it's my fault." He whispered.
"You we're fourteen… There is nothing that can change what happened… You're mother told me about your dad… He sounds like an amazing dad." Meredith said honestly.
"He was."
"She said he would be proud of the kind of daddy you have become."
"He would?"
"I think he would. You're the best daddy to Aves… That little girl has never adored her own father the way she adores you. You're her world." She smiled.
"I love Aves."
"I know… And this one…" she smiled taking his hand and placed it on her stomach. "Is going to love you more then anything."
Derek smiled softly at her, leaning in kissing her belly. "I love you." He said with so much emotion it kind of surprised her. Something left him broken and she had no idea what.
"Der?" she questioned.
"Addison couldn't have kids… my ex-wife…"
"Oh."
"She didn't want them when we were younger because we had our careers to focus on… I agreed with her until seven years into our marriage I kind of wanted to be a father. Three of my sisters have tons of kids. I wanted kids… She said she wanted them too. We tried for two years. We both decided to see if anything was wrong… The doctor said Addison only had two viable eggs left." He sighed running his hand through his hair. Meredith frowned at the look on his face. "Then he said he thought this was caused by the pregnancy she had terminated the year before." He choked out.
"Derek… I'm so sorry." She breathed it was all Meredith could say.
"You have nothing to be sorry for… That is when the problems started. I became distant and she was cheating…"
"She was an idiot."
"What?" he asked meeting her eyes.
"To not want to be with you… Have kids with you…She was an idiot."
"Because we're doing all of these things… What does that make you?" he asked slightly amused.
"An incredibly smart and lucky woman." She nodded with a smile.
"That you are." He chuckled kissing her quickly.
"I love you."
"I love you too… In fact I love all three of you very much."
After a few minutes of just staring at her in amazement Derek broke the comfortable silence. "Now can I take my beautifully intelligent fiancé to bed?"
"Beautifully intelligent?" she giggled.
"Don't make fun of my phrasing." He chided playfully.
"Sorry." She yawned.
"Bed for you Miss Grey."
"Mrs. Shepherd." She corrected.
"Mrs. Shepherd… I love the sound of that." He grinned.
"I do too." She beamed just thinking about her future with this man.