"Man, I can't wait till you go back to school with Jax Teller as your boyfriend." Donna says smugly, taking a drink of her soda before sitting down in the desk chair.
"We're not dating." Tara says, exasperated, for what must be the hundredth time.
"Tara. We start school in less than a week. Are you, or are you not, going to pull up on the first day on the back of Jax's bike?" Donna points out, leaning back and watching Tara hesitate with obvious pleasure.
"I've been on the back of his bike before." Tara insists and Donna rolls her eyes.
"This time is different." She says firmly. "You know it, I know it, he knows, everyone knows it. Admit it, you're as close to dating Jax Teller as anyone has ever gotten."
"Not true." Tara mummers, doodling on the paper in front of her. Donna just arches an eyebrow before their yearbook advisor calls the meeting to attention, reminding them all that yearbook starts before school does, gathering pictures and information. Donna and Tara listen in, passing a note back and forth, discussing their plans for afterwards.
"We're going to make it a great year, people." He says loudly and they're dismissed, spilling out of the high school and back in the warm summer air. It's dusk, the sunset coloring everything golden. Donna and Tara start off walking towards the ice cream shop, discussing classes and teachers.
"Birthday cake batter." Donna says, standing at the counter and sliding the girl working a couple bills.
"Double fudge." Tara says, smiling and handing over her own money. The girl rings up their change and then scoops ice cream into cones, handing them over. Rather than try to face the heat, Tara and Donna sit beside the window in small, painted chairs.
"I think he will ask you to be his girlfriend though." Donna says smugly and Tara pretends that her ice cream needs all her attention so she doesn't have to answer. "Why do you think he won't?"
"Because that's commitment and this is Jax Teller we're talking about." Tara says dryly.
"This is true." Donna thoughtfully licks her sprinkle filled ice cream. "It took him like the better part of a year to commit to a bike."
"How do you know that?" Tara asks curiously, taking a big bite and flinching when she gets a brain freeze.
"Opie and I do talk about things." Donna reminds her pointedly.
"Really?" Tara feigns surprise. "I thought you two just made out."
"Watch it." Donna rolls her eyes and they fall into a friendly silence, eating their ice cream and watching the people walk past on the streets.
"So anymore news from your parents?" Tara asks finally, when all that remains of her ice cream is her sticky hands.
"No." Donna says, sounding far away. She doesn't take her eyes off of the young boy having a temper tantrum in the middle of the sidewalk, his mother desperately trying to tug him along.
"But they let you register for classes at CHS, which is a good sign, right?" Tara prods gently and Donna blinks, sighing.
"I don't know. My dad's just been gone longer and longer. My mom takes more pills. I don't think they know I exist." She broods. "So part of me thinks maybe my dad's just dropped it. I kinda hope he just runs off and leaves us behind. That'd be best for everyone."
"I know what you mean." Tara says quietly. "God, our friend group sucks when it comes to dads, doesn't it?"
"Well let's see." Donna's tone is hard as she holds up a finger. "Jax's dad is dead, your dad is an alcoholic, Opie's dad is an outlaw, and my dad is never around. We couldn't string together a good father if we tried." Tara snorts with laughter, getting up.
"I don't think we could string together a good mother either." She mutters and Donna arches an eyebrow, rising as well.
"Mine's a pill addict, Opie's ran away, yours is gone, but I'd say Gemma is a pretty good mom." She comments and Tara thinks about it.
"I don't know, she seems a little… Protective of Jax." She struggles to find the right word and Donna shrugs, the two of them walk down Main Street, listening to the sounds of a fading summer around them.
"I mean, she lets him party, he doesn't have a curfew, and he rides a motorcycle around with SAMCRO. That doesn't seem protective to me." Donna points out and before Tara can find the words to explain that's not what she meant, Donna changes the subject. "Speaking of partying, the guys are hosting the last one of the summer at the cabin. Are you coming?"
"Yeah…" Tara says slowly and Donna gives her a look. "Jax brought it up to me." She clarifies.
"Inviting you to parties, that's girlfriend material right there." Donna teases and Tara smacks her.
"This time I'm sticking to like maximum three Zimas." She mutters and Donna bursts into laughter.
"Hey you." Jax says warmly, letting himself into her house. She looks up from the book she's reading and smiles at him.
"Well hello." He flops down on the couch next to her and inspects the cover.
"Did you already finish your other book?" He asks, impressed. She nods and he laughs. "You are a wonder Tara Knowles."
"Well thank you." She says cheekily, kissing him. He weaves his hands into her hair and sighs deeply, resting their foreheads together.
"So are you coming tonight?" He asks, once their breathing has returned to normal.
"To the party?" She asks needlessly. She knows Jax is talking about the party, but all of the times they've hung out since the kiss have been at her house or his when Gemma is gone. They've hardly done anything public, unless she counts zipping through town on the back of his bike.
"Of course the party." His brow furrows slightly at if he's forgetting something.
"I just like hearing you invite me to stuff." She teases to cover her hesitation.
"Ah well if you promise not to storm out on me afterwards, I'll gladly take you." He teases and she sticks her tongue out.
"I'm not that girl any more." She mutters, looking down at the book in her hands.
"Oh, I hope you still are." Jax says and she looks at him with raised eyebrows. "That girl was interesting." He reveals and she laughs, shoving him. He catches her wrist and pulls her closer, kissing her deeply.
They break apart later, discussing the last bits of summer gossip, who's relationships will make it into the school year and who's will fade, who's hooking up with who, who will be attending the party single or taken tonight. Tara throws a pizza in the oven for them and Jax gets distracted by stupid cartoons on the TV.
"I don't know what I should wear tonight." Tara complains, taking a bite of her pepperoni pizza and staring thoughtfully into her closet. Jax, on her bed, absentmindedly flipping through a magazine, glances up.
"I like when you wear little crop tops." He offers his input and she looks over her shoulder, frowning at him.
"You like me in as little clothing as possible?" She clarifies and he tentatively nods his head. She rolls her eyes and turns back to her closet, sighing.
"Just wear something. You always look great." Jax says easily and she can't help the warmth on her cheeks.
"I just feel like this time is different." She mutters.
"Why?" Jax asks curiously and she struggles for words, gesturing helplessly. "It's the same as last time, you'll be on the back of my bike and with me. But maybe not hard liquor." He jokes then gets up and bends down to kiss her head. "I'll pick you up later, Opie and I are going to head to the cabin."
"Ok, see you later." She says, stunned. She remains seated on the floor in surprise until she hears his motorcycle roar down the street. Then she scrambles up and runs for the phone.
"Hello?"
"Donna!" She screeches.
"Holy shit Tara what?"
"Come! Over!"
"Demanding, wow. Ok let me finish grabbing all my outfit choices, I got a new red tank top, do you think that will match my purple choker or should I bring—"
"Donna!" Tara cuts her off. "Bring it all, I need to talk to you about Jax!"
"Good or bad?" Donna sounds alarmed.
"Good." Tara blinks a couple times. "I think."
"Ok I'll leave in ten." Donna promises and hangs up. Tara mindlessly cleans up her mess in the kitchen, trying to keep her hands and mind busy. She's moved from cleaning the living room to her room when there's a knock on the door.
"Coming." She calls, hurrying to unlock it. Donna barrels into the house, arms full of clothes and several bags on her back. Without preamble, she drops her clothes on the floor in a pile and grabs Tara's face.
"Tell me you and Jax are ok." She commands.
"Me and Jax are ok?" Tara says, bewildered.
"Good." Donna drops her face and bends down to pick up a ripped tank top with the faces of the Beatles. "Do you think I can wear this even if I don't like the Beatles?"
"I- What? Who doesn't like the Beatles?" Tara demands and Donna shrugs.
"I like pop." She says innocently.
"Then get a shirt with Mariah Carey on it." Tara waves a hand. "Doesn't like the Beatles, who are you?"
"Well sassy, wanna tell me what's going on with you and Jax?" Donna raises an eyebrow, tossing the Beatles shirt aside and rummaging through her pile once more.
"I don't know, so today he came over and we were talking about the party tonight and he just was saying something about how he liked the girl I was when I turned him down and all this stuff which just seems crazy to me, but then he said this party is going to be just like the last one, which makes me wonder, like does he mean just like last time, because last time we slept in the same bed and I got way too drunk and I yelled at these girls and we talked about our past and I don't know I just think it's crazy but he could've just meant that I'm going to be there like last time and maybe he won't even act like we're together and god what if that happens it'll be so embarrassing you know I only go to these parties for him and he knows I only go to these parties for him so what happens if I'm there and he doesn't really want me there I think I would just walk home and I don't even know if I want to drink I mean I shouldn't be drinking like it's not ok I'm so young but at the same like I'm not going to be my father, I'm not going to let it take over my life but Jax, he always brings this out in me and I just don't know how that makes me feel because what if he's holding me back and I don't know what I even want because I'm just a kid! I'm just a kid, you know?" Tara looks at Donna.
"Do you think I could wear a dress?" Donna muses, holding up a long black one, patterned with small white daisies. Tara looks at her in astonishment. "What?"
"Did you hear anything I said?" Tara questions and Donna rolls her eyes, standing up and pulling her teeshirt off so she can try on the dress.
"I heard a lot of 'blah blah blah' and then some overthinking and then a lot more 'blah blah blah'." She comments and Tara glares at her. "What?"
"I just spilled my heart out." Tara complains, feeling foolish.
"You did." Donna acknowledges, standing to check her reflection in a mirror. "And I think the fact you did speaks volumes."
"Alright, what insight into my brain do you have that I don't?" Tara grumbles.
"If you weren't serious about Jax, you wouldn't be doing all this overthinking. You'd just brush it aside because it would be nothing to you." Donna says helpfully and Tara huffs and storms to her room rather than admit that Donna has a point.
"Ok, this is what I'm wearing." Tara decides finally, walking out in jean shorts and a plain black tank top with an excessive amount of jewelry. Donna, wearing the dress, glances up and wordlessly removes three rings, two necklaces and four bracelets.
"I wish you had a leather jacket. It would look perfect with this." She says thoughtfully. "And it would look cute with my dress." She spins, grinning at her reflection.
"Do you have one?" Tara asks curiously and Donna laughs outright.
"Are you forgetting who my father is?" She questions, sitting down to put on lipstick. "He would say that hellfire is raining down from above on me if I touched a leather jacket with a ten foot pole."
"What would he say about the slit in that dress that goes all the way up to your hip?" Tara asks slyly and Donna grins at her.
"That's why if I ever got a leather jacket, I'd keep it at my aunt's house, like I do with all of this stuff." She explains.
"Hey, Donna." Tara says, stopping and thinking. "Why don't you just live there?"
"Live where?" Donna is darkening the eyeliner around her eyes, thickening it out.
"With your aunt." Tara is excited now, pacing her room. "You can just live there instead of having to move with your dad. I mean, she likes you, she lets you wear the kinda clothes you want, she seems great. Live there! Your dad doesn't seem like he wants a family anyways." She claps her hands.
"Maybe…" Donna says hesitantly. Tara stops and looks at her carefully.
"Not a good idea?" She asks quietly and Donna shrugs, finishing off her eyeliner before she speaks.
"An ok one." She smiles and caps the stick, tossing it back in her bag. "Are we ready for a party or what?"
"You two look nice." Opie comments, walking in. Tara grins and hefts her bag up higher on her shoulder.
"Oh, thanks Op." She teases, giving him a little hug before walking up to Jax.
"No crop top?" He asks a little mournfully.
"No, just really short shorts." She teases and he grins at her before they walk out, hand in hand, to his bike.
"Hang on." He mummers and she interlocks her fingers in front of his stomach, smiling to herself.
The sun is setting as they drive to the cabin, making everything hazy. For a moment, she feels like they're floating through space, weightless, timeless. Nothing can touch them. She laughs and throws her arms wide.
"Freedom." She whispers to herself and it makes sense. Jax and his love for this bike, for this feeling, all makes sense.
"Are you already drunk?" He shouts to her when she loops her arms back around him once more.
"Maybe." She says coyly and he shakes his head, laughing at her antics.
"What has gotten into you, Tara Grace Knowles?" He asks her, smiling, and she looks at him, surprised that he remembers her middle name.
"It's the last night of summer!" She recovers, grinning and taking his hands, spinning him around with her. "I'm just happy. I want to have fun."
"Good." He tucks her under his arm and walks with her up the stairs, into the cabin. "My girl deserves a little fun."
AN: Filler chapter? Maybe. Essential for the plot? Maybe. Reviews? Pretty please. Also, a huge thank you for everyone who talked about Jax's writing last chapter- it's based on a conversation I had with a close friend, so to know that you all connected with it was huge.