The ice blue sky spread all around her as she strode confidently down the grassy hill. The constant rain had left the park looking almost eerily empty, but now her thick jacket and umbrella whipped back and forth against her thigh as she swung her arm in anticipation.
They'd agreed over the phone to meet here, and weather permitting, he'd said they would have something of a picnic. In her head it was going a be a little discreet affair, perhaps they would share a couple subs as they sat in the bed of his truck, but as she followed the path he'd told her to take, she was starting to think Jasper could do nothing by halves.
Spying him step down from an ornately wrapped gazebo, she smiled to see a streak of black whip around in circles, chasing his own tail in foolish delight. Her feet stopped involuntarily as she watched him raise his head to the sky, caught in a solitary moment. She admired the way the sun bounced from his skin and the effortless ease in which he always seemed to feel as one with his surroundings.
Not wanting him to catch her staring, she lowered her eyes and walked on. Hearing him call her name as she approached, she lifted her head, meeting his eyes openly, looking for some reassurance. The entire composition of his face changed as he brought his lips up in a warm smile, as he held his hand out to her, asking her to come closer.
"I thought maybe you were going to stand me up." He said, betraying his external confidence with a little show of insecurity when she looked down at her watch to see she was only a few minutes late.
"C'mon, I'll give you a tour." He stepped aside and though he took her hand to his side, she pulled back her fingers hesitantly. Feeling a little awkward she felt certain he hadn't even noticed, but as Jasper stepped up onto the white wooden structure, he held out his hand again and cocked his eyebrow, letting her know she hadn't been as discrete as she imagined.
"So? What do you think?" He asked, tugging her along with him as they stepped around an immaculately laid charcoal blanket that when she bent down to feel the fabric, touched her skin like the softest cashmere. Not only was there a bottle of champagne chilling in a portable bucket, but a quaint wicker basket was bursting with delicate indulgences. Bella tried to keep her awed appreciation to a manageable level.
"Well? He asked again, when her answer wasn't forthcoming, leaving her side only for a moment as he sat down with a confident ease, pulling her with him almost instantly.
"I think that you went shopping and bought all this stuff just for today." Bella finally deduced, reaching out to take hold of the champagne flute which still had a white sticky label on its base.
"And if I did?" He retorted, pulling the glass from her hand and flicking the label away with a casual grin.
"I don't know." She concluded, because truly, she didn't. She didn't understand how he could go from pushing her away for an entire month, to spoiling her, making huge efforts that in many ways were ultimately lovely, but unnecessary.
The champagne corked popped effortlessly out onto the almost emerald grass and Bella couldn't help but smile when Otis pounced on it like a nimble kitten, bringing it back to them, his tail whirling behind him, frantic with excitement. Throwing the cork high in the air, she entertained his obsessive need to chase and retrieve, before Jasper pushed a bubbling flute into her hand
"Here." She could tell that he was nervous for this encounter, as his eyes met with hers and then fell away again, never really holding their position.
"So are you hungry?" He asked as he reached over to the picnic basket and though everything he'd brought looking delicious, she stopped his hand with her own.
"Are you still angry with me Jasper?" His eyes met and held hers, waiting until she couldn't bear it any longer and a bright smile took over her entire face. Waking up today, she had expected to feel a deeply penetrating anxiety or at the very least a little tension between them, but Bella could only find herself feeling the pleasure of being back in his company. Maybe, she thought, he felt the same.
"I was." Was all he said and she was left reading beyond the lines.
"Have you been busy at work?" He asked and Bella knew he was deliberately stalling. Shaking her head, he drew his whole body forward slightly, his exposed elbows resting on the tips of his outstretched knees. Wringing his hands together, Bella wondered whether she had underestimated just what he was going to tell her.
When he didn't start talking and her patience finally wore out, she decided maybe he needed a little further prompting to get going.
"Alice informed me you told her what happened between the two of us." Steeling her gaze so he could find no emotion there, she almost gave away the hurt she felt when his eyes met hers, wide and alarmed.
"Oh God, it was nothing like that Bella. I asked her to meet me for dinner, after everything you told me, I wanted to speak with her, to understand why she'd lied to me about you. We're not… I mean, there's nothing going on between us."
Looking beyond him to take in a couple running side by side in the distance, Bella tried to gather her thoughts, to calculate whether this actually meant anything to her.
"Look, I'm not going to justify my relationship with Alice to you, if you were anyone else, I would actually avoid the topic altogether, but I understand we're both wrapped up in this. So what I'm hoping we can do is get everything out on the table today, and then maybe we can just move past this whole thing."
Not knowing whether he meant simply move past Alice, or move past their friendship, Bella nodded slowly, hoping he would catch her uncertainty and offer some reassurance, but he'd missed her fragility over the ambiguity all together.
"I told you before that Alice and I met through Rosalie, what I didn't tell you was she told me a few months later she'd known I was going to be there, that she'd actually organized and thrown the whole party just so we could meet. I guess I should have recognized back then that she was really intense about things, but like I said, I was crazy about her. She was just so different from anyone I'd ever met before, she was impulsive and exciting and… well anyway. It took about two months after I started travelling for business for the weird to kick in. She'd show up in the cities where I was meant to be, but she just sort of hid, watching me. At first I thought maybe I was nuts, but when I confronted her about it, she said that if she didn't do it, I would cheat on her. I know you've got no reason to believe me Bella, but I didn't, I mean… I wasn't doing anything like that."
Sighing, he took a big gulp of his champagne and then followed it quickly with another.
"I'm not proud of how I reacted, but she really freaked me out with some of the things she said, the things she said she'd do to the women I was supposedly fucking. Anyway, I threw her out. She'd been staying at my place pretty much straight from when we first met and I knew she didn't really have anywhere to go; I mean it wasn't like she had a job or anything."
Bella fidgeted slightly, although she was desperate to hear how this all would play out, what Alice could say or do to convince him to take her back.
"We were apart for months and then she showed up on my doorstep one day and I knew straight away that she was different. She told me the doctor had put her on mood stabilizers and that even though she didn't like the way they made her feel, she was doing it for us…"
From the heavy look in his eyes, she could tell this wasn't easy for him and though she kept the distance he'd arranged between them, she inclined her body just a little closer to his.
"…The three of us." Jasper finally said, his words heavy. It took a few seconds for the reality of what he was saying to hit and then when it did, she couldn't think of the right words to say.
"After you told me about what happened between you and her, I started to question everything, but I didn't think she would ever lie about something like that, not for so long."
"How did you find out?" Bella asked softly.
"She told me when we went to dinner a few weeks back. I can't believe I had no idea, all this time it was the thing I could hold onto that justified her behavior, explained some of who she was. But I should have known; I should have seen the signs." He laughed wryly, the sound an absolute opposite to the sadness and pain adorned in his eyes.
"You don't have to tell me this…" Bella said, reaching her hand out to touch his cold arm, retracting it again when he just shook his head and steeled his eyes.
"I was really proud of her and she actually seemed to really calm down, everything was so good between us and then out of the blue, I got back from one of my business trips to find her crying, telling me that she'd lost the baby. It really changed her, both of us really and it was one of the reasons I suggested moving out here. I don't know when she stopped taking the meds, but she did and I couldn't blame her, not after everything I thought she'd been through. I know you're angry at her for what she did to you, but if it helps, I wouldn't take it personally."
"What do you mean?" She asked, looking for what he was trying to tell her.
"She's your sister Bell and I get that what she did hurt you, but I don't think she has a conscience, at least not like the rest of us." He paused and she wondered how he could seem so calm about all this.
"Whatever happened between the two of you made me very cautious of you, I had no reason to trust you, and if I'm honest, I still don't. If Alice wanted you to know, she would have told you herself, that was just the way I saw it, and in a lot of ways, I still do. But I'm not here to tell you everything about Alice; I'm here to figure things out between us."
Throwing back the remnants of his champagne, Bella sipped from her own, thanking him when he topped up her glass and then his own.
"Okay. I guess I can respect that." She said, sensing the topic was officially closed. Struggling to find something she thought he might be willing to discuss, she reverted to the beginning. "So, back to my original question, are you still angry with me?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around her legs as she pulled them towards her body.
Shaking his head, she felt a little hint of relief when he smiled openly at her. "I've thought about it a lot and I don't really have a right to be angry as such, but I don't like that you let me go on thinking I owed you something, when really I'm fairly sure it should have been the other way around." His eyes glinted and though he seemed more at ease within this topic, she wasn't.
"You're right, but if I'm honest Jasper, at no point did I actually think we might end up as friends. I'm not exactly known for my gregarious nature and like you didn't for me, I owed you nothing."
A silence grew and lingered between them as they each sat and considered the words that had passed. It was a strange atmosphere, filled with an intense familiarity that was foreign to their clearly introverted body language.
"You tried to kiss me." She finally said, drawing confidence from the knowledge that this was her chance to bring everything out in the open.
"Yeah, I did." He responded, smiling softly as his blue eyes met hers.
"Did you do it cause you were drunk?" She pressed, knowing the repercussions of his answer were actually far beyond anything she had considered.
"I did it because I wanted to kiss you." He said after a thundering pause.
"Alice is my twin sister." She retorted, emphasizing their relationship though even without that bond it was still something that couldn't pass between them.
"And Paul is my best friend." He threw back, raising an eyebrow and a light snort from her in response.
"That's not even close to being the same thing, anyway she was your girlfriend, Paul and I went on one date and barely kissed."
His reaction to her words was comical, as he brought down his glass and looked at her a serious stare. "You kissed?" He asked, and though she owed him none, she felt a twinge of guilt.
"Yeah, the night of that benefit."
"The night we danced." He added and she didn't know why he'd found it necessary to do so.
"So is there anything else we need to talk about before we eat?" He asked and she wondered if she could say yes and move past this, because if she did, she felt she would be bound to stand behind her commitment.
"No. I think I'm good…" She said, before asking the same of him. "You?"
He looked at her and after assessing her for a moment, he nodded before answering for himself. "I'm good too."
He gave her a poignant look as he slowly reached out for the basket, waiting for her to step in and stop him.
They ate in silence, the only time they spoke was not to each other but to Otis, as he was upon them as soon as there were treats to be had.
"So Leah roped me into being in some charity auction thing, she hasn't weaved her web over you yet has she?" Bella asked a little hopefully, testing out the impasse they had come to.
Jasper seemed to choke on whatever he was eating in reaction, spluttering for nearly a whole minute with laughter and discomfort.
"What!" She asked indignantly, wondering what he'd found in her words to make him react in such a way.
"Well first of all, I'm just glad she's not mad at you. You did tell her I knew didn't you?" He asked and when she nodded her head, he moved on. "I can't believe you agreed to that!"
Sensing that maybe she'd made a huge error in not finding out more before being pulled in by Leah's insistence, she sighed before responding. "What have I signed myself up for?"
"Well it's an auction all right, it's a bachelor auction."
Her mouth dropped open; her eyes wide in disbelief.
"No way, she knows I would never agree to do that." Bella protested, while rummaging through her purse for her cell phone, in her frustration her fingers clasped on everything but the elusive little slice of plastic.
"Exactly, which is why she got you to agree without you even knowing." Jasper grinned, and though Bella knew he was right, she still pulled her captured phone to her ear with intent.
"Leah. You better call me back the minute you get this, because I'm sitting here with Jasper and he says the auction thing you were talking about involves you auctioning me off and trust me when I say, that is not going to happen." She punctuated her last six words before all but throwing her phone down on the blanket. She caught a glint of amusement in Jaspers eyes and threw him a glare which only seemed to intensify rather than retract his reaction.
"What am I going to do?" Bella begged for some solution to her dilemma, hoping that maybe with their history Jasper had some tricks up his sleeve. When he simply shook his eyes with a faux remorse, Bella all but resigned herself to her fate.
"It doesn't matter what you do Bell, she'll guilt trip you so bad you know it's not even worth your while to pretend you won't end up doing it. I'm just glad I'm out of town that night."
It wasn't until he said those words that Bella understood a part of her had been hoping he would be there, that he would save her from her new threat. Knowing he wouldn't even be there, that he wasn't even an option for her, she wondered who, if anyone, would bid.
"What if I un-bachelor myself by the auction?" She asked, but when he shook his head again, she threw her head back and groaned.
"What? I could be hopelessly in love by then!" She said defensively, but when she looked up he seemed almost a little angry. Otis took that opportunity to nudge her elbow, sending her glass of champagne tumbling to the throw they were sitting on.
"Oh, Jasper I'm so sorry, I think it's ruined." Dabbing at the dark patch of liquid with a napkin, his hand suddenly crept over hers, stopping her frenetic attempts to rectify her slip.
"Hey. It's just a throw, and it's just a little champagne." His hand was still wrapped around hers and as he pulled her back, she could see him watching her intently out of the corner of her eye.
"Why'd it take you so long to call me back?" She asked in barely a whisper, the fragility of the moment bringing the previously untouched question to the fore. He didn't let go of her hand, nor did he stop staring, but finally she let her eyes meet his.
"It wasn't because I was angry with you Bell." He tried and when he said no more, she persisted.
"Then why?"
"Because my life has been filled with a certain kind of drama for a while now and I needed to know it was worth it."
The unspoken thing he said, the thing that lingered between them, was what she assumed he really meant; he needed to know if she was worth it. A frisson seemed to pass between them and though she wasn't positive, she was almost sure that if she just leaned in a little, gave him a fraction of an indication that it was what she wanted, they would be kissing right now. The pressure of the moment pressed down on her chest and though a part of her was straining her body forward, she let out a little laugh as she pulled back.
"Oh hey, Leah's calling." She said with a strained voice, her attempt to project a casual nonchalance failing wondrously.
"Leah Scott!" Bella fumed down the line, holding out her hand to let Jasper know she'd be back as she walked down from the little wooden gazebo.
"Bella! Now, what was it you were rambling about chica? I could barely understand you behind all that shouting you were doing." Leah brazenly threw out, though they both knew she'd heard every word.
"I said that you didn't mention that during this auction thing, the thing you were auctioning was me!" Bella snapped, easily regaining the anger she'd initially felt.
"Hmm, yeah I got that, but didn't you also mention something about Jasper. Does this mean that my two favorite people are talking again? Oh, put him on would you honey, I just need a quick word with him." Bella opened her mouth to protest, a little half sound came out and then she flounced back around anyway, jutting her phone into Jasper's personal space.
"It's for you." She said, waggling the phone up and down. With a tentative hand, Jasper took the phone from her and stood, the strength of his presence immediately filling her senses. She thought perhaps he would brush passed her, but instead he stood by her side pressing his shoulder to hers though he faced the opposing direction. She didn't dare move and when he snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her softly on her temple before walking away, she felt a whole burden lift from the very core of her soul.
Her whole body thrummed with something foreign and though she was sure she should be listening to his conversation, instead she was solely focused on the little tingling sensation that emanated from a tiny little spot just west of her forehead.
She thought maybe she would be standing there when he returned, all dazed and confused with an openly obvious look of confusion on her face. But she was pushed aside, almost pushed to the floor, when Otis came bouncing past her, chasing an errant wasp who didn't know he was out way past his season.
Silently thanking the rambunctious little beast with a rough ruffle of his ears when he tired of his game, she took the time allotted to compose herself back into something rational. Gathering their now severely diminished picnic back into the basket, she sat back down on the throw, feeling the soft fabric beneath her fingers.
Watching Jasper as he strode around in circles, occasionally chancing a look back over at her, she wondered what he really thought of her, if the discrete passes he'd made were a genuine reaction to his feelings for her, or leftover twinges from his time with her sister. Not coming to any firm conclusions, she was happy when he returned, but entirely displeased to note the phone was no longer to his ear, but hanging loosely by his side.
"Do not tell me she hung up!" Bella exclaimed, taking her phone when he offered it, but finding nothing but dead air on the other end.
"She said to tell you that it's for a good cause, your name is already on the website and she told you where to look if you wanted to. Also, she said to think of all the sick people you'll be disappointing before you call her again." Bella could vaguely remember a website Leah had reeled off, but it hadn't stuck then and trying to recall it now was useless.
Letting out a large gust of frustration, Bella threw up her hands in defeat.
"Fine, but if the date's a disaster, I'm blaming you too." She said, pointing at him with a serious stare.
"What did I do?" He asked incredulously, but as soon as he heard the light melody of her laughter, his shoulders lost their defensive tension and he took a reflexive step towards her.
"I don't know, but I doubt Leah will be around to blame!"
Their eyes met and as her eyes lit up with mischief, she noticed his reflected back with something warm and new, something she'd never seen when he'd looked at her before.
a/n: This was a really tough chapter to write and I'm not sure why to be honest. Anyway, I'm so glad it's finally done...
As always, a huge enthusiastic thanks to my beta Twiticulate who has been working triple time with the amount of stuff I've thrown at her this week and to my lovely pre-reader Liamsgurl33.
I'm sending you all to the auction next and hopefully someone will bid on poor Bella, the only question is, who will it be? Hopefully you'll know the answer by Sunday.
Readers - you rock socks, maybe I'll have a word with Jasper and see if he'll take you with him on his next trip away... hell, maybe I can convince him to take me too!
xxx