One month, ten days earlier.
Things had changed in the time that passed since he explained to her what it was like to be paralyzed. Their relationship had grown, with a single conversation and it was evident to everyone. She'd been there for him since the day he was brought in, but now it was different. Angela could see the way she looked at him, and to her it seemed that their banter, everything was going back to how it was before he was injured. It had been so long since they'd seen him smile, but in the last few days, he was Booth again, despite the obvious, his personality was coming back, his charm, everything but what they wished for most. Brennan was beginning to open back up, her walls coming down again with his rebound.
"C'mon Ange. You know that I only call you a squint because you are one." He teased her with the charming smile spread across his lips.
"Sweetie, I'm as far from being a squint as you are. I may work with them, but honestly I don't think I'll ever understand what makes them tick." She said smiling back.
"Are they all coming in tonight?" He asked her.
"Well I know Hodgins and I will be here, and Brennan, I think Cam said she'd stop in too." Angela answered.
"Good. I miss being at the lab and having everyone together." He said.
"We miss having you around too Booth. It's not the same, really." She said softly.
"One of these days Ange. I'll be back. I know it." He said hope filling his voice.
"I know it too sweetie. But I really have to get back. You can't keep making me late, or Cam is going to put her foot down on my two hour lunch breaks." She said standing to go.
"I know. She has to be getting tired of turning around only to find who she's looking for slumming it at the rehab with the former FBI liasion." He joked.
"She doesn't really mind as long as the work gets done, you know that. I'll see you later Booth." she said from the doorway.
For the first time in a long while she wasn't sad leaving his room, his spirits were up, even though not much had changed with the physical. As she walked down the hall she felt like things were finally easing up, the tension of the past few months was wearing away. Smiling to herself she hoped that it would only continue to get better from here.
"Seeley let's get started." Anne said, entering the room after the young artist left.
"I'm ready." He said, all the smiles gone from his face at her entrance.
It was humiliating to still be watching them work out his muscles, to watch them bathe him, to watch as someone else did everything for him. A vicious circle of torture he quietly thought to himself as she lifted first his right arm, pulling and pushing and kneading it, and then moved to his left. When she finished with his arms she always moved to his right leg, but today she went for the left.
"You okay Anne?" He asked, as she lifted his left leg.
"Yeah, why do you ask Seeley?" She said, a puzzled look on her face.
"You always do the right leg first, but you're doing the left one first today." He said flatly.
"Thought I'd change it up a bit for you. You've got to be getting bored." She said with a smile.
"That wouldn't even scratch the surface. Is this ever going to change?" he said, his eyes dark looking into hers.
"Every few days we do this Seeley. I come in here and I tell you that it will. If you don't believe me by now, I don't know what else I could possibly tell you. It just takes time." She said.
"I wish someone could just tell me how long... It's frustrating to know that there is no reason for me to not have function. I respond to all the stimuli tests you do, everything, but yet I'm still stuck in a body that won't cooperate." He said a flash of anger in his voice.
"Our bodies are complex, we don't even know all there is to know about them yet, and we've been studying them for hundreds of years. I wish I could give you the answers Seeley, I do, but I don't have them. All I can say is don't stop hoping that it gets better." She told him laying his leg back onto the bed.
"I'm not. I'm just tired of it ya know." He said watching her hands move on his calf.
"I don't really know Seeley, all I can do is listen, and do the best I can to keep you flexible for when the time comes." She said still kneading at his withered muscle.
After she'd put him through his afternoon therapy a nurse came in to empty his bag and get him showered and shaved. Usually they were good about not cutting him, but the nurse that was on seemed jumpy and as she ran the razor across his cheek, sure enough, he felt the blade dig in.
"Damnit." He swore.
"I'm so sorry Seeley. I... It's not bad. I'll get it stopped." She said frantically.
"I'm fine. Just caught me off guard." He said clenching his jaw.
She finished without another incident and pulled the mirror so he could see his cleanly shaven face. His eyes caught the small red mark on his cheek first but then saw the way his face was thin, his eyes dark. It always shocked him to see the way he looked now, fragile and older. He wondered as he moved his chair into the room if everyone was as shocked as he was. In his minds eye he didn't look any different than he did the day he was hurt, but every time he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, he had to stop and wonder who was staring back. He wondered what she thought, did it frighten her that he was becoming just a shell of his former self, or did she even notice. None of them had said anything about his appearance aside from the weight loss. Moving closer to the window he sat waiting for them to arrive. He missed mingling with people the most, sure they all came to see him, but it wasn't like it was before, now he was at their mercy. If they were busy they didn't stay long, or at the end of the night when they all left he felt so trapped he could scream. He'd been meeting people at the facility, but each person he met was dealing with their own demons, making it hard to form any type of real bond.
"Booth?" He heard her say softly, his back to the door.
"Hi Bones. Rough day?" He asked sensing tension in her voice.
"Frustrating is more like it." She said, watching him turn to face her.
"Tell me about it?" He said, upturning the corners of his mouth ever so slightly.
"Nothing majorly difficult, just trying to find this specific type of piping for one of Miss Julian's cases." She said, sitting at the table.
"Plastic or metal?" He asked, watching her face perk up.
"Metal, but it's almost too small to be a plumbing fixture, but not small enough for a gas line. We've been testing pipe all day long Booth, how was your day?" She asked, feeling his eyes intensely.
"Same old, ya know. Stretching, lifting, shower, shave." He said moving his chair closer to her.
"They cut you? They really need to be more careful Booth." She said seeing the small cut on his cheek.
"I'm fine Bones, new girl was a little jumpy. Bet she doesn't cut anyone again for a long time." he said smiling briefly before turning away.
"Why did you do that?" She asked, not sure his reason.
"Do what Bones?" He said, still not looking her directly in the eyes.
"Turn away, did something happen?" She said her voice getting higher.
"No. I don't know. Don't I look different to you Bones? My face is so different..." He said, his cheeks reddening.
"You look like Booth to me. Your skinnier than I've ever seen you, but your still Booth." She said, wishing that she could explain it better.
"I looked in the mirror earlier, and it scared me. I wasn't sure who was looking back at me Bones." He said, trying to let her in.
"Well of course it was your reflection Booth. Who else's would it be? It's just a physical change." She said, coming off to impersonal.
"I know that Bones. I was talking about how I barely recognized myself. How sometimes I don't even feel like I knew the Booth from a few months ago. Never mind Bones. Just forget I said anything." He said, not wanting to take it further.
"Hey guys." Angela said at the door.
"Hi Ange. Where's Jack?" Booth asked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by estrogen.
"He'll be up he's parking the car." Angela said walking to join them at the table.
"You sure boogied out of the lab in a hurry sweetie." Angela said as she sat next to Brennan.
"Oh I just needed a break from the pipe extravaganza. Too much metal for me, give me the bones and I'm good." Brennan said, feeling self conscious about her desire to spend a little time with him alone.
"I was surprised Cam didn't kill them with those pipes, Booth you should see the lab, everywhere you turn there is piping. I mean everywhere." Angela said dramatically.
"It's a regular party in here Seeley." John said coming into his room.
"Room for one more?" Jack commented from behind the nurse.
"I just need to check your output and then I'll be out of your hair." John said, seeing Booth's face change as he spoke.
He sat there as the nurse lifted his pant leg, checking that his bag wasn't full, and patted him on the shoulder, before turning to leave, "Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"So what's on the agenda?" Jack asked, opting for Booth's bed instead of a chair.
"Easy Hodgins, I have to sleep there later. I don't want any of your particulates making their way into my sheets." Booth said noticing Jack's feet on his bed.
"Relax Booth. I'm clean." Jack spat back.
"Is Cam coming?" Booth asked.
"She said she would try to make it, but it wasn't a guarantee." Angela said.
"Oh. Let's wait on her a few more minutes before we go eat then." Booth said wondering how long it had been since he'd actually seen her.
Even though they hadn't been intimate in some time, it still hurt that she hadn't been around to see him in a good while. He wondered if it was because she thought something was going on between him and Bones, or if she really was as busy as they made her out to be.
"She's been picking up a lot of my slack Booth, I'm sure if I was at the lab more she could come and visit more." Brennan said noticing the slight sadness in his eyes when he found out she might not be coming.
"She's busy. I know. It's not a big deal." He tried to play it off.
"Let's just go eat, she can find us when she gets here." Angela suggested.
"She'll find us, c'mon." Jack said moving towards the door.
He maneuvered his chair down to the cafeteria, where once a week for the last few weeks they'd been gathering, at least the four of them to have dinner. They finished their meals and headed back to his room, Jack talking the whole time about the pipes that were still occupying every available free space at the lab. He was still going strong as they readied to leave, bouncing ideas off Booth, about what type of piping it could be. Finally Angela had dragged him from the room as the nurses came in to get Booth ready for bed.
"I should get going too Booth. It's late." Brennan said, her heart pulling at her to stay.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, in mid air over his bed.
"I should be able to get away in the afternoon tomorrow, if we crack this pipe scenario. If not it'll be evening as usual." She said, watching as they placed his hands down to his sides, and made sure that his pillows were at the proper angle.
"What if it wasn't a pipe at all? Maybe a golf club? The shaft? Tell Hodgins to try it. Then I'll get to see you sooner." He said, before he had a chance to filter it.
"That's a good theory Booth. Why didn't you tell him while he was here?" She asked, ignoring the comment he made outwardly, but feeling her heart warm to it.
"It just came to me. I was trying to think of the diameter of the opening and imagine what size it would be, and a golf club just seemed similar." He said, the nurses waiting to undress him.
"I'll let him know. Goodnight Booth." She said, practically forcing herself to go, after seeing the look on his face.
"Night Bones." He said, hating that she was leaving before he was asleep, as he watched her walk out the door.
The nurses had him changed into boxers and a t-shirt in minutes, leaving him more time to lie there thinking about everything. There was something so comforting about having Bones there at night, something that made it easier for his mind to stop analyzing every thing. When she was there he would conk out quickly, but without her his mind usually went into overdrive, tonight being no exception. He wondered what was keeping Cam away, and Jared too. He hadn't seen his little brother in a long time, and wondered if he was actually listening to him this time and staying away.