DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
The amount of cars at the Lynn house was a little bit surprising as Unique drove up the street, Marley riding passenger. Unique scoffed. "Damn, how many relatives does Ken Doll have exactly?" she laughed, pulling up to the curb.
"Four sisters," Marley said nervously, staring at the house through the window. "Three of which I've never even met."
"Don't be nervous, girl," Unique encouraged her. "How could anyone not like you? Besides, his parents already love you and that's what really matters, isn't it?"
Marley took a deep breath and nodded, forcing a smile. "You're right," she agreed.
"Mmmhmm, of course I am," Unique said, reaching over and fixing Marley's hair for her. "Now go on. It's exciting to be invited to the family barbecue. That really solidifies girlfriend status to a family. It's like they've accepted you as one of their own."
"You're ridiculous," Marley said, rolling her eyes, but now smiling genuinely. "Thanks for the ride, Unique."
"Anytime, girlfriend! Have fun! Eat something!" Marley hesitated slightly after hearing that, but opened the car door and stepped onto the sidewalk. She collected herself and waved at Unique as her car turned around on the cul-de-sac and went back down the way they had come up the street. With a deep breath, Marley turned around to face Ryder's house and walked up the front path.
A few seconds after ringing the doorbell, Marley heard a pretty loud commotion on the other side. Running feet, someone saying "slow down," and then a lot of fumbling with the doorknob before it finally opened. A brown-haired woman was bent over at the waist, holding the hands of the small, blonde child who had apparently just opened the door.
"Look, Jackson!" the woman (who was presumably one of Ryder's sisters) exclaimed with a big grin. "It's Ryder's girlfriend Marley!"
Jackson, suddenly seeming shy, stared up at Marley with wide eyes and inched closer to the woman. He tugged on her pants leg, holding up his arms to be picked up. The woman rolled her eyes good-naturedly and obliged, balancing the toddler on one hip. "Oh, Jackson," she sighed, laughing a little. "You are far too big for this."
The woman then shifted her attention again to Marley. "Hi, you are Marley, right? I've seen so many pictures of you, I recognize you right away. I'm Gina," she introduced herself, sticking out a free hand to shake Marley's, then gesturing for her to come in. Marley did so, closing the door behind her. "This here's Jackson," Gina continued, adjusting the child again as he hid his face in her shirt front. "He's three but has apparently decided to be a shy baby right now. Jackson," Gina said, craning her neck to look at him. "Why don't you go find Uncle Ryder and tell him Marley is here? Okay?"
Jackson nodded hesitantly, and with a sigh of relief, Gina put him down and let him go running off through the house. "I don't know how Becca handles that kid, honestly," Gina continued. "I'm sorry, I haven't let you say a single word, have I? How are you?"
"I'm great," Marley said with a smile. She liked Gina already. "It's great to meet you, Gina."
"Great to meet you too," Gina said. "Ryder never talks about anything else, so I've been excited to finally meet the person who finally melted my baby brother's heart. I thought he'd never find a girl to have a crush on, let alone have a relationship."
"Uh," Marley said awkwardly with a little laugh.
"Not that he's a bad catch!" Gina quickly corrected herself. "God, no, my brother is the best boy you could ever find. He's just shy, you know?"
"Yeah, I know what you meant," Marley laughed.
Gina shook her head, embarrassed. "I need to stop talking. C'mon, everyone's out back," she told Marley, gesturing for her to follow. They both started walking through the front foyer and into the kitchen. "Transferring to McKinley was one of the best things that ever happened to Ryder," Gina continued as they walked. "I mean, from what I hear, everyone finally sees his goofball self that all of us know so well here at home. At his old school he was always so quiet and so focused on trying to scrape by in school…" Gina trailed off and shrugged. "And now here he is, the star of the school musical, a starting football player, a member of the glee club, making straight B's…"
"He's great," Marley agreed, still smiling at how eager and enthusiastic Gina was to discuss her brother. Gina opened the back door and they both stepped onto the back porch and Marley took in the scene.
Mrs. Lynn was seated on the porch swing with another woman with brown hair—Rebecca, Ryder's oldest sister, Marley would guess. She'd seen pictures and knew that Becca and Gina were the only two brunettes. Over at the grill, Mr. Lynn was working to get things set up to cook dinner. Two other men that Marley didn't know (Rebecca's husband and Gina's fiancée?) were there with him, both holding beers and chatting amiably. Reagan was stretched out by the pool in her bikini, next to another equally beautiful blonde girl who must be the final sister, Rita. They were awash in the golden light of the early evening sunset. And out in the yard, Ryder was crouched down to eye height with little Jackson, a football in his hands.
Marley grinned as her boyfriend glanced up and saw her standing on the porch. He stood up and began walking over, tossing the football to himself and occasionally turning his head to keep an eye on Jackson, who was following behind him.
"How are you today, Marley?" Mrs. Lynn asked with a smile from the porch swing.
"Oh, I'm good, Mrs. Lynn, thanks," Marley replied, smiling back.
"I see you met Gina," Mrs. Lynn said. "Well, this is Becca—she's the oldest. Over there's her husband Eric and that's Liam, Gina's fiancée. And you know Reagan, she's out there with Rita."
"Mom, you don't have to overwhelm her right off the bat," Ryder said as he walked up the porch steps. He smiled at Marley and kissed her gently on the lips, sliding his arm around her waist. "Hey, glad you're here."
"Hi," she said, feeling already more comfortable now that Ryder was next to her. "Gosh, it's like a circus here today!" she laughed good-naturedly, gesturing around at all the people.
Little Jackson was crawling up into his mother's lap. "Sweetie, did you meet Uncle Ryder's friend?" Becca asked her son, pointing to Marley. Jackson hid his face in his mother's shirt.
Ryder laughed. "Oh, come on, kiddo, don't pretend to be shy!"
"Gosh, I guess I just scare him or something," Marley commented. "He got shy as soon as he opened the door."
"Oh, don't worry, he's probably just feeling shy because you're so beautiful and he wants to impress you," Becca joked.
Marley and Ryder exchanged a grin and Ryder crouched down to be at eye level again with Jackson. "Don't worry, buddy, I felt the same way around her when I first met her. Just don't try to steal her away, all right?"
"I don't know, Ryder," Marley kidded. "He's kind of already won my heart. I've always liked the shy guys."
Jackson whispered something into his mom's ear. "What was that, baby?" Becca asked, leaning down closer to her son's face. Jackson repeated what he had said. "Why don't you ask him, sweetie?"
With the most adorable puppy-dog eyes Marley had ever seen, Jackson turned his gaze on Ryder. "Uncle Ryder, can we play ball again?"
"Of course, little man, why don't you grab your daddy, too?" Suddenly smiling and full of energy, Jackson clambered off of his mom and went running off to his father, pulling on his pants leg and begging him to come play. Ryder laughed. "You want to play, Marls?" he asked jokingly.
"Oh, yeah, definitely," Marley joked back. "I've always wanted a broken nose, especially right before regionals."
"Hey, suit yourself," Ryder smiled, booping the aforementioned nose and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He then trotted off into the yard after Jackson, who had wiled both his dad and Liam into playing with him.
"Sit down with us, Marley," Gina suggested, patting the arm of the deck chair next to her. "Unless you'd rather go sunbathe with those other two."
Marley gulped at the thought. She had worn her bikini underneath her clothes, but the thought of actually taking off her cover-up horrified her. She was back down to 100 pounds as of that morning. She hadn't eaten in a day and a half, other than the bitter lemon juice she had read on the internet was good for weight loss. Her ribs were prominent again; her hip bones stuck out. She loved it and hated it at the same time.
Ryder wouldn't love it at all. He was not on her case as much as he had been earlier in the week, but she had made a point to dress in layers lately, no matter the temperature, even going so far as to sew weights into the seams of her jackets and sweaters just in case anyone decided to weigh her or pick her up and see how truly light she was. With makeup, she made her face look not as sharp and her skin not as pale. She couldn't stop herself from starving and throwing up, and she couldn't stop herself from hiding it either.
"I'll be fine up here," Marley blurted out a bit too enthusiastically. She took the seat that Gina offered, quickly arranging herself to show off as little of her body as possible.
"You got here just in time, really," Mrs. Lynn commented. "The food is almost done."
Marley forced a smile, ignoring how she was salivating at the smell of the hot dogs and burgers already, how her stomach was past the point of hurting from hunger and abuse, how she was so hungry she felt she could eat the entire helping of food that was being made for everyone.
God, she was going to binge. She was going to binge so much that she would never purge enough to get it all out. Regionals are on Saturday, she told herself. You cannot be bloated for regionals. Remember that dress. Remember how small that waistline is.
"And Becca made some of her famous chocolate chip cookies for afterwards, too," Mrs. Lynn continued, patting the shoulder of her eldest child, who smiled at Marley kindly.
Marley smiled back. Looks like I have a date with the porcelain god after dinner.
Her stomach full to bursting, Marley sat and sweat at the Lynn's dining room table as everyone else laughed and talked and Mrs. Lynn and Gina collected the dishes (Marley had offered to help but had been turned down).
She had lost all control over herself. She hoped it hadn't been noticeable how much she ate, but at least Ryder hadn't ben breathing over her neck when he had seen her reach for the second helping of potato salad. That and a burger, a hot dog, a helping of salad, corn on the cob, and several of the cookies, it took all Marley had not to bolt from the table right this instant and throw herself at the toilet.
No, she had to have a plan. She glanced next to her. Ryder was laughing at a joke Eric had just told, but he glanced at her as well, smiling and squeezing her knee under the table. There was no way she could go to the bathroom without Ryder being suspicious. She had to wait until he was doing something else.
And little Jackson, clueless, helped her out. "Uncle Ryder, can we catch the frogs now?"
"Hmm?" Ryder said, looking over at Jackson. "Oh, yeah, it has gotten dark hasn't it? I promised Jackson I'd show him where all those toads gather after the sun goes down," Ryder explained to Marley. "Wanna help us catch some frogs?"
Marley forced a little laugh. "As tempting as that sounds…I'll just stay away from the amphibians and let you boys have fun."
"Okay, I won't be long. The scamp's bedtime is coming up fast." Ryder kissed Marley's cheek before following the eager three-year-old out to the backyard. Eric went with them as well.
With Ryder safely distracted, Marley then began to survey her options. I can't just say I'm going to the bathroom, she realized. I'd have to go to the hall bathroom. It's too close. They'd hear me. I'll have to get upstairs.
"Do you want some coffee, Marley?" Mr. Lynn offered, startling Marley.
"Oh, yes, sure, Mr. Lynn," Marley said. "Black, please?"
"Really?" Liam, Gina's fiancée, commented. "I've never met a girl who likes her coffee black."
"Rita drinks it that way," Gina told him, rolling her eyes. "You don't need to be so sexist."
"I'm not being sexist," Liam argued, following Gina out to the back porch as they went out, seemingly to watch the others catch the toads.
"Tell them not to have Jackson wind himself up too much!" Becca called after them. "He has to come back in in ten minutes and have a bath!"
She had ten minutes. Marley glanced around, praying for an escape to just make itself known to her. It felt as though the longer she sat there, the more fat was pouring into her body. She couldn't let it be too late.
Her eyes fell on Ryder's book bag just barely showing through the doorway, next to the front door, and was struck with inspiration. "You know, I think I left my notebook up in Ryder's room last time I was here," Marley commented as Mr. Lynn set her mug down in front of her. "I'm gonna go check for it. I'll be right back." Without even waiting to hear a response, Marley got up from the table and hurried off to the staircase.
The upper level of Ryder's house was just as fancy as the rest of it. Well, she assumed anyway—she had never seen any rooms other than Ryder's and then the hallway. Ryder's room was like the TV den, in that it made her feel more comfortable in such a fancy environment. It was comfy and cozy and lived in. It smelled like him and made her feel safe.
She didn't have any time to revel in the comfort of her boyfriend's bedroom at the moment, however. Partially closing the door behind her, she quickly went to Ryder's bathroom, and closed herself in, locking the door behind her. Not wasting any time, she knelt before the toilet and stuck her fingers down her throat.
Her body was so used to this by now, she almost didn't even need to induce the vomiting. She felt an eerie sense of relief as her binge left her stomach, taking away all of its fat and calories. It was calming. That was scary.
When she was done, she flushed, washed out her mouth, and opened the bathroom door.
And came face to face with Rita Lynn.
"Rita!" Marley whispered, shocked. She felt like all the breath had been knock from her body. She tried her hardest to maintain a cool demeanor. "Wow, you scared me!" she laughed uneasily. How did you even get the lead in the school musical, Marley Rose? Your acting skills are pathetic sometimes.
"Are you going to lie to me?" Rita asked, her face blank and her arms crossed over her chest. Her dirty blonde hair was falling in her eyes and one eyebrow raised at Marley just barely.
Marley hesitated. "I don't know what you mean," she attempted, fixing her face in an expression that she hoped at least resembled confusion.
"I know that you know I could hear you," Rita countered, switching from crossed arms to placing her hands on her hips, leaning slightly over her right leg. Marley felt herself almost cowering under her gaze. Rita had barely said two words to her at all—Marley had been under the impression that she was the quiet sister. Now that she spoke, she terrified Marley.
Switching tactics, Marley tried to brush it off. "I wasn't feeling well," she said, shrugging.
"Fucking bullshit," Rita said. "I saw you bingeing at dinner. You may have Ryder fooled, but not me."
"You think I have Ryder fooled?" Marley said, giving up her pretense and laughing humorlessly. "He never leaves me alone."
"Yeah, well my brother is a good guy like that," Rita said.
"I know that," Marley insisted. "Just don't tell him, okay? He's already worried about me, and I'm handling it, okay?"
Rita scoffed and shook her head, blonde hair flying over her shoulders. "Please, Marley, you're not handling it."
"Just don't tell him," Marley pleaded, clasping her hands in front of her chest, practically falling to her knees in front of Rita, but repressing that urge.
"I'm not going to," Rita said, in a tone like it was the stupidest thing Marley could have said.
Marley paused. "Wait…what? You're not? You're not going to threaten to tell?"
"I'm not going to blackmail you, if that's what you're implying," Rita scoffed. "No, I'm not going to tell him. It won't do you any good. Marley, I knew from the minute I met you what your mysterious 'problems' were that had you in the hospital a couple months ago. Yeah, I knew about that, but Ryder never told us the specifics. But as soon as I saw you I could tell."
"It's that obvious?" Marley asked quietly, ashamed.
Rita shook her head. "No. It takes one to know one."
Marley thought about that for a minute, her brow furrowing. "Wait…you?"
"Yeah, me," Rita said simply. "I wanted to be a figure skater when I was a kid. And when I was fourteen I was so desperate to get better faster. I heard that I could jump higher if I lost weight. So I did, but it wasn't enough. I stopped eating, started puking, abusing laxatives…I fainted on the rink during practice one time, woke up in the hospital with twelve stitches in my skull from hitting the ice."
"Ryder's never said anything…" Marley said quietly.
"He was only very little when it first started," Rita explained bitterly. "The first time I went to rehab I was fifteen. It wasn't after the first fainting incident, though. I got out of that by claiming dehydration and exhaustion. But a few weeks after that I fainted again, at school. And they diagnosed me and put me in an in-patient rehab program for four weeks."
Marley tried to hold in a gasp. Her lousy two weeks in partial-hospitalization sounded like nothing in the face of that. "That must have been awful."
"Yeah, it was. And then I relapsed the next year and did it again. I didn't learn anything, because I didn't want to. I liked my illness in a sick, disgusting way. It gave me control, which was something I had never had. It took me a long time to start to fight, Marley. I've been in rehab six times since I was fifteen—that's eight years, if you'd like to know."
"Why are you telling me this?" Marley asked, staring at the ground instead of looking at Rita's unnerving and steady gaze.
"Because you need to know," Rita told her, over enunciating every syllable, sounding like an angry teacher or parent. "You cannot keep pretending that you want to get better and still be giving in like this. You will not get better until you want to. Not until you decide to fight for yourself. And that's why I'm not telling Ryder. Because if you get forced into making this decision—if you feel like you don't have a choice—I know that you won't go into it with your heart. You won't get better, not permanently."
Marley felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "I can get better," she whispered angrily. "I want to get better. You're wrong about me."
"Deny it all you want," Rita said with a shrug. "But you, Marley, don't want to get better." She stayed quiet for a minute, while Marley sniffled and struggled not to cry. Then Rita seemed to soften and put a hand on Marley's shoulder. "But when you do want to get better, you've got my brother there for you," she continued softly. "And there is no one more understanding or caring than my baby brother. And I hope you know that."
"I do," Marley assured Rita, sniffling and wiping a hand over her eyes to clear the tears from them.
Rita looked at Marley until their gazes met, blue eyes locked on brown ones. "Then don't break his heart," Rita said simply, and turned and left the room.