A/N: Have I mentioned recently that I don't own Glee? Or Riker's hips? Even though I sort of want to? Right. Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Five:
"Blaine clearly thought Hunter had no chance with Lisa, because he had no intention of hooking up with Sebastian, ever again, really, and he had no idea why Sebastian kept pushing the idea. The night wore on, and Blaine kept guzzling down whatever Nick, Jeff, and Thad had spiked the punch with, and Hunter seemed to hit it off spectacularly with Lisa."
Homecoming was a serious deal at Dalton. Lacrosse homecoming. Sebastian led his team to Victory, making Dalton the champions for the fifth consecutive year. After the game, Dalton hosted a Homecoming dance for the Dalton boys and the girls of Crawford Country Day.
As a favor to his Vice Captain, Blaine had gone out of his way to find a nice girl for Hunter to play nicely with. Her name was Lisa, and she was fantastic. Sebastian had joked he might consider going straight for her. One look back at Blaine and he'd taken it back, though. (Not that he was ever really serious about it.)
"How do you think he does?" Sebastian asked.
"I bet he strikes out," Blaine said, grimacing.
"Bet what?" Sebastian asked, extremely interested, eyes glinting.
"Oh, come on," Blaine said, rolling his eyes. How typical. Not that he wasn't attracted to Sebastian, there was just something about being with him like that that felt so… permanent. "I told you, we're just friends, nothing else is going to happen between us."
"You said nothing could happen between us until you found out what was going on with Kurt," Sebastian reminded him. "And considering he pretty much told you to fuck off, like, two weeks ago, I'd say that has been fulfilled."
"Fine," Blaine said, resigned. "If Hunter does well with Lisa, which I doubt, I will consent to hook up with you one time whenever and especially where ever you chose. If he completely bombs it, which he probably will…" Blaine took a second to think, before grinning. "If he tanks, I get your Sectionals solo." Sebastian looked from Blaine, to Hunter, then back to Blaine. Knowing Hunter as well as he did, he knew Hunter would really want this to work out and would give it his all. Finally, Sebastian stuck out his hand for Blaine to shake. It was worth the risk.
"You got yourself a deal. Let the games begin."
Nick and Jeff high-fived Thad as he stashed the bottle of tequila he'd borrowed from Sebastian back in his jacket after spiking the punch.
"Whoohoo!" Jeff exclaimed, taking a shot of the punch. "Oh, holy shit, that's strong."
"That girl Hunter's with looks familiar. Have I dated her?" Thad asked.
"Probably," Nick said, also talking a show of punch. "She looks easy."
"Nah, she's really cool," Jeff said. "Would Blaine really set Hunter up with someone easy?"
"He's got to get laid sometime," Thad said, rolling his eyes. "Maybe it'll get that stick out of his ass."
"He does sort of walk like he has a stick up his ass, doesn't he?" Nick said. "Maybe Sebastian did him so good he still can't walk right."
"Pretty sure it was like that when he got here," Jeff remarked, taking another shot of punch. "Good stuff. If you need me I'll be on the dance floor." He skipped off in that direction, but not before Nick caught his arm and was pulled along as well.
Blaine, passed the point of caring if he was presentable or not, indulged himself in punch and dancing until finally Sebastian noticed. Sebastian extricated himself from between Nick and Jeff, then ambled over to seize the cup in Blaine's hands.
"Easy there, killer, no more for you," Sebastian said, taking the rest of the contents of the cup like a shot. "Wow, that's strong." Blaine pouted, in a way that only a completely trashed Blaine would do to Sebastian. Sebastian shook his head.
"You win," Blaine slurred. "Hunter and Lisa are perfect together and they're gonna get married and have the most beautiful little blue-eyed babies." Sebastian threw an arm around Blaine's shoulders to try to keep him from wobbling, as they were attracting the attention of a few chaperones.
"Blaine, dear, I'm gonna get you out of here before we both get ejected," Sebastian said, though at this point, Blaine wasn't really understanding anything. He was a quick drunk, and he'd had far too much tequila.
"Where are we going?" Blaine asked helplessly, as Sebastian half-carried, half-dragged him out of the field house.
"Outside," Sebastian said, sighing. Is this how he acted when he'd had too much? No wonder Hunter was annoyed with him.
"It just occurred to me!" Blaine said, trying to pull out of Sebastian's grasp and wavering on the spot. Sebastian put a hand out to steady him. "Are you okay with me setting up Hunter?"
"Why on earth should that bother me?" Sebastian asked. Sometimes Blaine was very strange.
"I see that spark there," Blaine blathered. "You're so proper around him. It's thrilling."
"That's because I loathe him," Sebastian said. "He turned my own team against me, and need I remind you that Sebastian Smythe doesn't do emotions?"
"Sure you do. Don't you want me?" Blaine whispered. "Don't you need me as much as I need you?" Mental note for later: Drunk Blaine was hot. "Don't you love me, Bas?" Sebastian had never really taken offense to his nickname, but just the way Blaine said it turned Sebastian on so incredibly, he had to reach up and loosen his tie. Shaking his head, Sebastian let out a sigh, he knew he'd regret this either way.
"You're drunk, Blaine, come on, let's get you home," Sebastian said.
"Where'd Sebastian go?" Jeff asked, still trying to keep a lookout for his friend, like he'd promised he would, though it was proving difficult, since Sebastian didn't seem to want his help at all.
"Saw him leaving with Blaine a while ago," Thad said. Jeff hit himself in the face. Felt good. "Let the boys have some fun. Blaine needs to loosen up too. You're all much too uptight."
"Don't you even think about bringing one of these girls back to our room tonight," Trent interjected.
"Aw, come on," Thad whined. "Can't you stay with Nick and Jeff for one night?"
"Hmm, my own room, with my own bed, or… Nick and Jeff's room… on the floor… while they try to quietly get their drunken freak on?" Trent weighed. "Nah, I think our room is good."
"Thad, my man, you can use the Sit Room," Jeff said. "Get some."
"Thanks, bud," Thad said.
"This music sucks," Nick said.
"Steal the mic," Thad suggested.
"Want to start a band on the fly?" Jeff asked.
"Sure," Thad said. "But we don't play any instruments?"
"Speak for yourself," Jeff said.
"And we don't have any music," Trent pointed out.
"We could get the Warblers up here," David suggested.
"When did you get here?" Nick asked, surprised by David's sudden arrival.
"Been here this whole time," David said, frowning.
"Where's Hunter? Get his iPhone from him," Nick instructed. Thad stumbled off in Hunter's direction, coming back with the offending piece of technology. "Are we ready boys?"
"What makes you think Hunter's phone has any good background tracks on it?" Thad asked as they snuck behind the stage.
"Sebastian and I put them there," Nick said. He slammed the phone with perhaps a little more force than was necessary into the iDock on the DJ's table. "We'll take it from here, thanks." He selected the correct song and walked to the front of the stage, grabbing a mic. "Dalton Academy!" Cheers from the audience. "Crawford Country Day!" More cheers and some squeals. "Prepare yourself for some live entertainment! Hit it, Thad." Thad pushed the play button, and the room screamed.
Love is like a bomb b-bomb b-bomb b-bomb…
Jeff was probably the dirtiest dancer the Warblers had even sober, but with a couple shots in him (not enough to make him sloppy, just enough to really break that filter he never seemed to have anyway) he was unbelievable, and the girls all screamed. Even Nick seemed to be rendered momentarily speechless, then:
Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Living like a lover with a red iPhone
Looking like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man? (Be your man)
Razzle and a dazzle and a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss-a innocent, sugar me, yeah!
Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up!
"Everybody!" Nick yelled, encouraging his audience to sing with him, because let's face it, everyone knows this song. (If you don't, I apologize. But seriously.)
Pour some sugar on me!
(Ooh, in the name of love)
Pour some sugar on me
(C'mon fire me up)
Pour your sugar on me
(Ooh, I can't get enough)
I'm hot sticky sweet from my head to my feet, yeah
Oh, Jeff. How did he manage to be this uninhibited when he was dancing and still manage to look so freaking innocent at the same time? Seriously, Jeff is my spirit animal. (Did we talk about the bass-licking? I think we did.)
When they got back to their room that evening, Nick made sure Jeff knew he was the sexiest man in the universe, and I bet not a single one of you can come up with someone sexier than Jeff.
Meanwhile, in Sebastian and Blaine's room, Sebastian had finally managed to get Blaine across campus without attracting attention, and Blaine was still talking.
"Hunter's like perfect for you," Blaine continued to babble. "He's hot and tall and gorgeous and talented and in charge. Just like you."
"Normally, I'd chuck you into your bed and make you sleep it off, but you absolutely cannot go to sleep with that much gel in your hair," Sebastian said, ignoring the sideways compliment. "Let's get you in the shower."
"I like where this is going," Blaine said, a grin growing on his face.
"Really Blaine? No wonder Kurt never let you come out again. You're shameless."
"You love it," Blaine said.
"Yeah, yeah, it's very endearing. Get your clothes off, let's go," Sebastian said, unbuttoning Blaine's blazer. "Okay, I didn't even notice until right now that you're actually wearing a Dalton bowtie. It's adorable."
"I'm adorable," Blaine grinned.
"Yes, you're adorable," Sebastian said, pulling on the end of Blaine's bowtie, undoing it. He threw it at the cramped space that was Blaine's dresser. It had about 60 bottles of hair gel on top of it, leaving absolutely no room for anything else. "Are you selling raspberry hair gel now? Seriously, do you have enough?" Showing some respect at least for the Dalton blazer, he hung both his and Blaine's on their hooks behind the door. Blaine seemed to be at the stage of drunkness where he could no longer remember what buttons were, and Sebastian helped him take off his shirt and pants and shoes and socks and briefs. Then, for good measure, Sebastian picked him up and carried him into the bathroom.
"Where are you taking mee?" Blaine whined anxiously, as the ground zipped away underneath him.
"Chill the fuck out, killer," Sebastian said, setting Blaine on the floor of the shower. "Sit tight for a sec." Sebastian jumped back into their room, took off all his clothes as fast as Quagmire from Family Guy and was back in the bathroom before Blaine started wondering what the shiny looking knobs were for.
"What do these knobs do?" Blaine asked, staring up at Sebastian with boyish wonder.
"Even I'm considering never letting you drink again," Sebastian said. He climbed in the shower next to Blaine, sitting on the edge of the tub with a sigh. "God, you reek."
"Is that bad?" Blaine asked, afraid.
"Like raspberries and alcohol. It's not bad, actually, reminds of breakfast on the beach of Versailles." He turned the water on and both boys were immediately drenched in nice warm water. Blaine splashed in the shallow water like a five year old (for some reason the drain in the shower never had worked quite right and always filled up to about your ankles even when you were just taking a shower), while Sebastian sat on the edge of the tub and worked his fingers through Blaine's extremely stiff hairdo. "You use too much gel. How does it not give you a headache?"
"I don't know."
"Your curls are so beautiful, you know that?" Sebastian said with a smile, knowing Blaine probably wouldn't remember this tomorrow anyway.
"I haven't taken a bath since I was 7," Blaine randomly announced.
"When did your mom stop washing your hair for you?" Sebastian asked.
"I don't know. Cooper did for a while, but then he left. I used to let Jeff do it in the mornings before I left."
"Hunter can do this next time, you are impossible."
"Hunter would never undress me and put me in the shower."
"Stranger things have happened," Sebastian said. It took far longer than he'd expected, but finally he turned off the water. "There, you're all clean."
"And unfortunately starting to sober up," Blaine said. "Write me a note telling me why we took a shower together so I can read it in the morning, I need to puke." He tossed the shower curtain aside and barfed in the toilet. "Ughh."
"Yeah, I thought that might happen," Sebastian said. "C'mon, let's get you to bed. You can sleep in mine, I don't want you falling off yours." It was a legitimate fear, Blaine toppling off his bunk bed in his sleep. "Wouldn't want you toppling off your bunk bed and breaking your pretty face."
"No, bunkbeds are cool. A bed with a ladder, you can't beat that!" Blaine said. Sebastian had to stop himself from jumping Blaine. He was going to have to come out as a Whovian sooner or later. Unless… Blaine already knew Sebastian was and liked to tease.
"Blaine, you are a tease, you know that?" Sebastian sighed.
"Not as teasey as you," Blaine said.
"I don't tease, that would be counterproductive," Sebastian said. "But you better put some underwear on, or Hunter will freak. He's so touchy."
"I think I speak for everyone when I say that not everyone wants to see you naked," Blaine mumbled, pulling on some underwear and a pair of pajamas.
"But you do," Sebastian said, winking.
"Leave me alone," Blaine said.
"Alright, sweet dreams, dear," Sebastian said. "I'll just be up in your bed."
"If you're going to sleep in my bed, you will put some damn clothes on," Blaine said.
"What if I wanted to sleep in my bed?" Sebastian asked.
"Then they won't be necessary."
Sebastian crawled in next to Blaine.
"No, I'm not going to apologize, I'm not the one who turns into a dirty slut around tequila," Thad said to Nick and Jeff. It was the next morning, Hunter had called emergency Warbler practice, 9:30, and Sebastian, Blaine, and Hunter were nowhere to be found. "It's not my business what Sebastian and Blaine get up to on their own time."
"No, it's mine," Jeff wailed. "What the hell did we do last night?"
"I think Trent was making videos, we can watch them later," Nick said with a grin. Just then, the double doors opened and in walked… Blaine Warbler, unhinged.
His hair was all puffy curls, he had pink sunglasses on his face, underneath his blazer was a black 'Hummel Tires' shirt, and yes, he was wearing red and blue plaid flannel pajama pants.
Everyone stared. Sebastian entered just behind him, quickly mouthing to everyone not to mention it. Fortunately, Hunter came in and started practice before anyone could say anything.
"Warblers," Hunter announced, entering the library just then. The Warblers all lined up like they were some kind of troops, ready to go to battle. "It has come to my attention that there are just five days until Sectionals. We are into the final crunch." He walked down the line of his troops, reached the end, and turned back around. "I allowed myself to get distracted last night and that was a mistake. For the love of peace, put some gel in your hair, you look homeless," he shot at Blaine. Blaine was suddenly very awake, looking anywhere for a mirror. Sure enough, his beautiful curls were sticking up in every direction. He was horrified. "We're doing nothing but practicing until lunch, at which point– Good gracious, Blaine, really? You're not even dressed."
"It's not his fault, Hunt," Sebastian drawled lazily, as Nick threw a bottle of hair gel and a comb to Blaine from the secret compartment in the Council's table that no one was supposed to know about. "They all knew tequila turns Blaine into a dirty slut."
"Ignoring that for the time being," Hunter said, rolling his eyes. "Don't expect me to allow you to show up to practice in your pajamas every day," he said to Blaine.
"Blaine's the Captain, he can do whatever he wants," Trent said.
"And Sebastian, you're still grounded," Hunter added, ignoring Trent.
"How do I look?" Sebastian asked, twirling around. Blaine's jaw dropped. "That good, huh? Well… I shall need to rethink my policy of not celebrating Halloween."
"Halloween was a month ago, it's Thanksgiving now," Hunter said.
"Shush," Sebastian said. "Nick and Jeff and I are going to a costume party… I don't really want to get into it, I already feel like a major dork. I look okay, though, right?"
"Yes," Blaine said, decisively. "Yes, you look alright."
Sebastian was wearing a brownish-black pinstripe suit, blue shirt, black and blue tie, dirty white Chucky T's, a brown trenchcoat, and to top it all off, it looked like Jeff's glasses. He was the tenth Doctor.
"Be honest with me, how do I look?" Sebastian asked, very seriously.
"Different," Blaine decided.
"Good different or bad different?" Sebastian asked, still extremely serious.
"Just different," Blaine shrugged.
"Am I … ginger?"
Blaine had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, dropping his head to his chest, and turning a bit pink.
"Oh, I love it!" Sebastian exclaimed. "See you later, dorks, I'm off to a party." He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a banana. "Always bring a banana to a party." He left the room.
Blaine and Hunter just looked at each other. Two seconds later, Sebastian was back.
"Oh, by the way, I got you this," Sebastian said, tossing something to Blaine. Blaine caught it and looked at it. A fez. "Go on." Blaine jumped up from his chair and began ripping through his closet. "All the way to the left, Nick and I got it for you last night. Let's go, Allons-y!" Sebastian ran out again, banging insistently on Nick and Jeff's door. "Aren't you two ready yet?"
"Nearly!" Jeff called. The door opened and Jeff came out, wearing jeans and a union jack t-shirt under a black hoodie.
"Ah, Rose Tyler," Sebastian said. Jeff blushed a little. "And the tenth Doctor, I'm the love of your life." He went to put an arm around Jeff, but Jeff pushed it away, laughing, then Nick emerged from the room too.
"Back off, there, she hasn't met you yet," Nick said. "Season one Rose. Union Jack…"
"Ah. Are you my mummy, yes," Sebastian said. "And you Captain Jack Harkness, nice to meet you, I'm the Doctor."
"Really, who else did you think Nicky would go as?" Jeff laughed. The door next to them opened and shut, and out came Blaine, brown tweed suit, red bowtie and suspenders, fez on top. "You dressed up Blaine?!"
"Of course we did," Sebastian said, turning a frown on Jeff. "Gosh, doesn't Nick tell you anything?"
"And there's Trent!" Nick announced, waving down the hall to Trent, who came rushing over. "Rory the Roman!"
"Oh, you better believe it," Trent said, snapping his fingers in a sassy way.
"He'd make a much better Donna," Sebastian said. Trent hit him. "Oi, watch it, Earth Girl!"
"Watch it, Spaceman!" Trent countered.
"He's Donna," Sebastian said.
"Well, tough, he wanted to be Rory," Nick said. "Where's Beats?"
"Coming!" Beats called from down the hall.
"Hurry up, we're going to be late!" Sebastian yelled. Beats hurried down the hall. In just a plain v-neck shirt, jeans, and a leather jacket, he was quite clearly, the ninth doctor.
"Hello, handsome," Sebastian said with a smile.
"I think that's my line," Nick said with a frown. "We'll pick up Lisa and be on our way, then?"
"Definitely," Sebastian said. "Although I can't seem to find my keys lately…"
"Hunter took them away from you so you couldn't go to Scandals anymore," Trent said, pulling Sebastian's keys from the pocket(?) of his Roman costume. "Shall we?"
"Allons-y!" Sebastian exclaimed.
Lisa was probably the coolest girl the Gay Men of Dalton Academy Club (and Beats) had ever met. She had long red hair, and, tonight, was wearing Amy's policewoman kissogram outfit.
"It's too bad you couldn't convince Hunter to come," Lisa said with a pout.
"He'd never go out the night before a competition," Sebastian said. "I, on the other hand–"
"You're gay," Blaine told him. "Quit teasing."
"So are you," Sebastian said, frowning.
"I'm not," Beats said, perking up suddenly. "Hi. I'm the Doctor."
"She's dating Hunter," Sebastian said, pulling Beats away from her.
"Well…" Lisa said. "I'll just stick to my Rory, huh?"
"We almost got Hunter to come as Rory," Nick said. "But he chickened out at the last second."
"I was really bummed, I wanted to come as Ianto," Trent said sadly.
"Or Donna," Sebastian interjected. "He'd make a good Donna. Agree with me, c'mon."
"You wanna bet, Time Boy?" Trent asked.
"Oh, good look, my friends are here!" Lisa exclaimed, hanging off Trent's shoulder as she introduced her friends. "Martha, Donna, River, and even Sarah-Jane."
"We are the biggest nerds in the history of this fandom, I'm sure," Sebastian said, his cheeks red with embarrassment.
"You're not the one dressed as Rose," Jeff reminded him.
"Yes, but Nick's not the one dressed as the guy Rose falls in love with," Sebastian countered. "May I have this dance, Rose Tyler?" Jeff shot a look at Nick, who laughed, nodding his approval.
A/N: Let's not talk about how Jeff is obviously too tall to be Rose. Let's talk about how adorbs they would all be.
Leave me a review, yeah?
Samantha.
Next time: Sectionals, sort of, an onslaught of mono, and the return of Wes!