Landslide

by karapuui

Years have passed after Rido's war ended, and things are falling apart. They are so damaged in ways Zero cannot even begin to understand, and Kaname doesn't want to talk about it. As usual, he has his secrets to keep, but if they are to fix what has been broken Zero must unravel the truth. Once again, he's fighting the man he loves but hardly knows (Kaname/Zero, Kain/Aidou)

25. In Secret We Met

Author's Note:

Now, I know I've written a lot of angst and death and gore before and not put any official warnings in the header, but this time I'm kind of not sure if that would be fair. Thing's aren't going to be majorly different, but there are gonna some pretty bad things coming up, so I feel like I should warn you that from this chapter on things are gonna get a whole lot darker. This means: death, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm thoughts, there's going to be the thing dealing with Shiki and his health/medical issues (which I, personally, find difficult to write), and yeah. Basically — I'm really sorry but things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

I don't want anyone being triggered or finding themselves feeling uncomfortable/sad/scared, so be careful, readers. I care about all of you, so heed my warnings and be safe!

I also want to say that a lot of the things I'm writing about don't come from any of my own personal experience. So things regarding the pregnancy, all the emotional strain that goes with having (unplanned) pregnancy, and a bunch of other issues that are gonna be dealt with in this chapter are all speculations. I still be seeing the unicorns, my dudes (If you don't know what this means, then... let's just say I'll still be wearing white at my wedding. If I ever do get married. And if things don't happen between then and now. I'm going to stop right now.), so if anything I'm writing comes across as (insensitive/poorly expressed/downright disrespective/plain wrong/just no please stop), feel free to tell me so that I can correct myself. And — to anybody who has gone through anything like this in real life, I sincerely hope life is treating you better, and that you don't find any of this patronising or hurtful, because that's definitely not my intention.

Other than that, I have to say, I'm impressed with how quickly I've written this! Yay for Halloween (which I'm definitely crediting with this miraculous creative burst)! Hopefully I'll continue on at this pace and keep the chapters flowing! (Great, I've just jinxed myself. Well done, puui. Well done.)

Also, any text between speech marks and in italics (like so: "Hello, this is puui's creative example.") is the "other unspecified language" that Yuuki has picked up from whatever place she's moved to. Yeah, this place don't got a name, and I don't plan on giving it one either. Let's just say it's... somewhere in Europe. As a newly separated-from-the-EU Brit, I am already dreading the separation anxiety, so I guess this is a bit of a gratuitous love letter to my old pals across the water.

Oh, also, I've been persuaded by my sister to join in 2016's NANOWRIMO event. If you don't know what that is, Google it. I'm not explaining this madness. I think I'm gonna hit the 50K mark in like, the next 3 chapters or something. It's no sweat for me, as you know, to write shitloads, so I'm pretty cool about the whole thing, but yeah. Just telling ya I'm being all 'down with the writing community'.

---

"So talk."

It's all very well asking them to start the conversation, but after years of no contact, where do you begin? Almost a decade of years sit untouched between them. All the worry Zero had had that Yuuki wouldn't be over Kaname should have instead been for this moment, because the woman sat across from him is far from weeping over a broken heart. She's different to the girl he once knew, but also more herself than she ever was before. This is the truest version of Yuuki he's ever seen — away from the eyes of the people she grew up with, it seems that she really blossomed into herself. Kaname's told him before that Yuuki, personality-wise, was always more like Haruka than Juri. That she was mellow and sweet rather than fierce and mischievous, but looking at her now… he's not so sure that's true. There's a boldness to her that can't be called sweet, and a fire in her gaze that is both commanding and effortlessly warm.

She is both of them together — the perfect storm.

Yuuki interlaces her fingers on her lap and tips her head to the side, bright brown eyes sliding from Kaname to him slowly, assessing. Her gaze falls to Zero's stomach briefly, but doesn't linger.

"You wouldn't have come here without reason, so tell me why you've come," she repeats, slightly frowning now. Irritated perhaps that they haven't yet spoken. What is there to say? What can they say? Zero blinks at Kaname. He pushes the thought towards him, sharing with him his loss for words. Kaname agrees that they have to be careful with what they say. His mind is startlingly open to Zero, in a way it rarely ever is, stunning Zero into further silence, but before Kaname can speak, Yuuki blurts: "It can't be good news. There wouldn't be any point coming to tell me that, so what is it? Has someone — "

"Yuuki, relax," Kaname raises his hands, "I promise you, we aren't coming to… to drag you into anything. You're safe. You don't have to get involved. You don't have to do anything, I swear."

"Then why are you here?" she presses, voice tight. All the calm she had before has melted away, but the fire… oh the fire is there, burning bright. Flaring protectively, no doubt with her family in mind — the family that don't include them, but the boy and the old woman.

"There's something I left you. A book, roughly this big," Kaname holds his hand out as measurement, "Do you remember?"

Yuuki nods.

"Good. That's what I want."

A book…? Yuuki looks equally as perplexed as Zero. It… it can't be just that. Nothing is ever that simple with Kaname, and yet when Zero checks through his thoughts, he finds that it is indeed a book they're looking for, and nods at her to confirm it.

"That's… all?" Yuuki's eyes narrow in suspicion, "But Kaname, I've read it and there's… there's nothing in it. Just ramblings about you and your nightmares."

Nightmares? Zero's head whips around. Kaname doesn't look at him, and his face reveals nothing. Even his thoughts are carefully blank.

"I need it," is all he says. Yuuki's eyebrows shoot up.

"Sure. Okay, I'll get it for you, just… do I want to know what's going on? I know something's happening, but do I need to know anything?"

Kaname's lips thin. "I don't think you want to know. As for what you need to know," his eyes flit to Zero, "We'll keep it simple, not because we want to keep things from you, but telling you everything would contradict the whole point of why I sent you away… wouldn't you agree?"

Yuuki considers this, and then shrugs. "I guess."

She eyes her brother for another beat, and then nods jerkily and leaves them. Zero stares after her hopelessly, his chest tightening. Her face went stony when Kaname nudged her into agreeing with him. It's obvious to him that she's still uncertain whether leaving was her choice or his, or whether knowing would be of any comfort to her either. The waters are murky between the three of them, but most of all between Kaname and Yuuki. For once, Zero feels mostly blameless, but he doesn't feel good about it either.

Yuuki returns with the book — a small, unremarkable thing that holds Kaname's nightmares in it.

"So, what now?" she asks, sounding guarded. "Are you going to take it and leave, or…?"

Kaname places the book on the side table and pays it no more attention than he did his abandoned tea. "If it's alright, Zero and I would like to stay for a couple of days."

Her eyes narrow again. "There's hardly enough in there to take even an hour's worth of time to read, Kaname."

"Maybe there's more to read than the words themselves," he replies cryptically, an insufferable flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Yuuki," he then says more gently, "We're both tired. We've been travelling for days…"

"Alright," she huffs, though she somehow sound less annoyed now than before, "I wasn't saying no, I was just asking. There's not much space in the house, so if you want to stay here you're going to have to take the living room. Ebba's back won't survive the couch."

"That's fine — whoa. Ow. Ow, ow, ow... I think I'll go put Ulli back now before he chews my face off," Kaname grumbles, rising from said couch slowly. The owl stops nibbling on Kaname, wobbling wildly on his shoulder to maintain balance as its head swivels round to glower at Zero. Kaname hums soothingly, ever-so-slowly walking to Ulli's perch. They seem to understand one another which is of no surprise to Zero, seeing as Ulli is technically a part of Kaname. Zero watches them, idly wondering how you'd go about cutting off a piece of your soul, and why you'd choose to reshape it into such an unpleasant creature. Did Kaname mean to give it this nasty personality, or is it that the piece of Kaname it's made of is naturally an asshole —

"There's something wrong, isn't there?"

He turns back to Yuuki, startled at the tension in her frame. She's biting her lip, arms folded tightly. "Something bad's happened." Zero wants to tell her she's wrong. "I can feel it. Sometimes. There's something big happening out there. Something changing. I can't describe it, but — "

"Yes," Zero finds himself saying in a hushed whisper. He knows Kaname can hear them even if he's on the other side of the room. He's giving them his back as an illusion of privacy, but Zero doesn't doubt for a second that he is listening. "Yes something's happening, but what you need to know is… we're dealing with it."

"Is everyone okay?"

No, Zero's mind screams — Isaya is dead, as is Benomi, whilst Shiki miraculously isn't, and Takuma's all alone, and Kain is half-deaf, and, and, and… the list goes on and on, but he holds his tongue. What good will telling her any of this do when they'll be leaving her soon? Leaving her with this would be cruel. She'd just be mourning them then, but alone with no one to share in her grief. In a way, she's probably mourned them all before. When she walked out of their life, she had to close the door on them. He did the same with her and Ichiru, and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, especially not her. Especially not for a second time.

"... okay, can you tell me that you are okay, at the very least?"

He's taken too long to answer — it's probably just as well. Yuuki's concerned expression only refocuses after a couple blinks, telling him he was likely on the verge of tears. She takes his hands in hers and uncurls them, bit by bit. Zero sucks in a sharp breath. Her hands are calloused. Rough. Unfamiliar in texture, but perfectly recognisable in size and shape. He closes his eyes, lets out a slow breath and nods.

"You look tired, Zero." It's the first time she's said his name in seven years, Zero thinks faintly. Eighty per cent of the time it comes from her lips exasperated, but always fond. Always warm. "And there's something different about you. Have you been eating enough? Sleeping enough?" Her hand hovers over his face uncertainly at first, but then she slaps it to his forehead. "Are you feeling sick?"

Bizarrely enough, this startles a laugh out of Zero. "God, you're such a mom."

Amused, she snorts, "Well yeah."

Suddenly he's gripped by a wave of nostalgia that burns through his nose like cleaning bleach. Even though they're talking about something completely unrelated to the past, in fact — Yuuki's a mom, my god that's weird — the joking, the teasing, it's all them. It's the years, the nights, the bleary days they spent together. Time vanishes for a split second, and they are young again.

"Zero?" Yuuki waves a hand in front of his eyes. Fuck, he's zoned out again. He must be freaking her out. "Ugh, you're so weird." And yep, he was right.

He smiles shakily at her, heart thumping loudly in his chest. Yuuki sighs, but she's hiding a smile herself, and that little part of Zero that's always going to be in love with her glows.

"I mean it though," Yuuki says, pushing him back to look at him properly, "Something's changed about you. Are you sick?" She tuts, poking at his cheek, "Has it been that long, or have you always been this pale — "

"I'm — " Zero freezes then, suddenly reminded of what has changed. How could he have possibly forgotten that there is a baby growing inside him? How, goddamn it how? he asks himself, as he panics about how the fuck he's going to explain this to her, because — because there's no way he can't tell her now, but at the same time there's no way he can tell her without having to explain everything.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Zero shoots his darkest glare at the back of Kaname's head. The coward is still with Ulli, avoiding this goddamn mess like his life depends on it. It's probably the smallest shudder ever made by a living person, most likely imperceptible to the average person (and apparently to Yuuki), but by heck does Zero notice it, and he doesn't care how callous it may seem: he takes comfort in Kaname's discomfort. That's right. If he's going down, you can sure as hell bet he's dragging Kaname down with him too.

"How much do you know," Zero hears himself ask, mildly impressed by his composure. "About," he waves his hand around, "Everything."

Yuuki's brows rise again, "Not much. News from the outside world struggles to reach this place. It's why I chose to live here. There's been talk about things going sour between the Council and the King," she says, throwing a pointed look at Kaname (oh good, Zero thinks, rubbing his hands together eagerly, she's looking to drag him too), "But no one really knows the details. I heard there was a… a bomb? And then you guys fell off the radar, and people aren't happy that Kaname's gone missing." She pauses. "That's a pretty big deal, actually. Everyone's pretty pissed off about that."

"So you've heard about the riots," Zero asks, thinking about how things have looked from Yuuki's perspective, not knowing the why's behind people's reactions. All she's been seeing are the reactions of those around her. She frowns at him.

"I assumed all of that," she waves, "Was a result of whatever you've all been up to, and was the reason Kaname sent me away. To keep me away from everything."

"Partly," Zero allows, watching as Kaname goes still.

"I guessed as much. That's why I've not been asking around. I don't want to know, and some of the things they've been saying," she shakes her head, her eyes going unfocused as she tries to forget the stories she's been told. "It's silly," she laughs, "Just… stupid gossip."

Rogue, Zero thinks viciously to Kaname, who does flinch at that. It gets him moving though, and when he turns to them his face is like thunder. Both Yuuki and Zero recoil at his dark stare. Kaname scowls at them for that, but does reign it in a little, and gives Yuuki a weak smile to show that his anger isn't her fault.

"Those rumours you've heard…" and then he stops, and a nope-nope-nope-abort flash of panic crosses his face. "We have to tell her," he says suddenly to Zero, giving him mental whiplash with the unexpected change of plan.

"Um. What."

"Yeah," Kaname says bleakly, "It's for her own safety. She has to know what's coming."

Zero throws his hands up. "Do what you want."

"Zero — "

"Go on!"

It's not a blessing, it's barely a go-ahead because Zero cannot summon the will to give a fuck anymore. Kaname's mercurial moods have always been as changeable as the fucking weather, but lately they seem to be getting worse. Part of him — the part Zero wishes would shut the fuck up — understands his reasons. Kaname is not only a paranoid and overprotective, he also cares deeply about what his loved ones think of him, so having Yuuki believe even the tiniest bit in those rumours are true is totally unacceptable to him. Zero gets it. If he were in Kaname's shoes, he would want her to know that he wasn't a crazy psycho killing everybody too, and more importantly, he'd want Yuuki to be fully aware what's going on in case things head south.

And he's fine with that. All of it. But it's up to Kaname now to deliver — so he folds his arms, pulling the hoodie taut which reveals the bulge better (god he is fat, Kaname's a fucking liar) and tilts his head as if to ask: what are you looking at me for? Get on with it.

Kaname tells her in halting, awkward bits and pieces. Glossing over the history, skipping most of the science, and going straight to —

"A baby," Yuuki breathes, leaning forwards. Her hands are somehow already on Zero's belly. He has no idea how they got there, but they're running all over him and the flames in her eyes are dancing. When she realises what she's doing she leaps back, blushing wildly. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she tells him, "You're pregnant," and Zero spreads his arms out, as if to go: the fuck, am I really? Yuuki bites her lip, barely stifling a slightly hysterical giggle, but then it's smothered out rather abruptly.

These blasted Kurans, Zero despairs, with their endless mood swings. It should be him changing mood at the drop of a hat. Isn't that what pregnancy does? Something to do with hormones, or something? He traces the places Yuuki touched him, watching her thoughtfully. As far as he can tell, Yuuki isn't too horrified by the news. Surprised, sure. Amused, more than a little. But disgusted? Surprisingly not.

"You're taking this well," he comments. She hums.

"It's not the craziest thing we've ever dealt with."

Well, she's not wrong.

Underwhelmed, and thoroughly done with the whole thing, Zero opens his mouth to say something else — but his thoughts are quite literally blasted away when the door bangs open and a great hulking creature lumbers in, gusts of cold wind billowing in through the few gaps left between him and the doorframe itself. Yuuki squawks, leaping to her feet immediately.

"I need a towel," the man snaps in lieu of a greeting, half bent over as he braces himself against the doorjamb. Something is pushing at the back of his knees and giggling — ah, Peppe. The imp. The boy's tinkling laughter sweeps Zero's panic out of his system, all the tension vaporising instantly. Clearly this man knows Yuuki, and Peppe isn't afraid of him either, so — despite being a giant, he's no threat to them. "Yuuki, quick. A towel."

"What have I said about wiping your boots off first — "

"It won't matter if he gets in. Trust me, he's more mud than boy, and the dog peed on him. Hurry, woman. He's growing a puddle."

Yuuki huffs loudly but hurries, returning in less than a second to chuck a towel at the man. As he spins, skilfully managing to catch and swaddle Peppe up into a tight towel-burrito (which is quite an impressive feat, given how much kicking and flailing the kid is doing), Ebba ducks under his arm. She stares at Zero and Kaname for a long moment, during which Zero is utterly terrified, but then lets out an explosive exhale and heads for the kitchen like she is on a warpath. Yuuki rattles something off at her too fast for Zero to process, but she seems to have her own plan. Yuuki throws her hands up, much like Zero had done before.

"It's like I say things and no one ever hears me."

He bursts out laughing.

This catches the unidentified man's attention, who somehow he hasn't noticed him or Kaname sitting there right in front of him. Zero stops laughing immediately. The man has pale eyes and a grim look about him. The tension from before makes a quick return.

"Ludo, meet Kaname and Zero, my brother and brother-in-law. Zero and Kaname, this Neanderthal goes by Ludo."

"Hi," Zero says, sharing a look with Kaname. Neanderthal? Kaname smiles politely at Ludo.

He looks shocked, but that's no surprise — they did pretty much appear out of the blue. Zero wouldn't be surprised if Yuuki's never mentioned them before. The thought stings, but he can't blame her for it.

"Hey," Ludo grunts, and without further ado lugs his wriggling captive further into the house. He seems to know exactly where things are kept, and looks perfectly comfortable in his surroundings, almost like it's his — oh. Oh that makes sense. Zero turns to Yuuki.

"He lives here," he states, or asks, he's not really sure anymore, "With you."

"Yes."

"And Peppe. And Ebbe."

"Yes, and yes," she's looking at him like he's being deliberately slow. Finally, she rolls her eyes, "Zero. We're married."

Ah.

Zero doesn't know what to say. Or think. Or do. All that's going through his mind is: my, what a big man, and Kaname's faint laughter ringing at the back of his head, but Jesus it's true. Ludo is bigger than even Kain, somewhere around the same height as Yagari, but bulkier. It isn't all muscle, but he's… he's a lot of person to go with… with such a little woman. His eyes flick back to where she is, standing with her hands planted on her hips, both mirth and trepidation trembling at her lips. She wants to know what you're thinking, idiot, Zero scolds himself, and forces himself to think up some actual words.

"Wow."

"Wow," Yuuki repeats flatly.

"Congratulations," he corrects, elbowing Kaname in the side. The fucking traitor that he is, he sits there laughing silently and shaking all over.

"Thanks," she rolls her eyes. "I'm so glad you approve."

"It doesn't really matter anymore if we do though, does it?"

Where the heck did that come from? Both defensive and tactless. Good job, Zero.

The laughter dies and Yuuki's fingers tighten on her hips. "No, but… yeah, of course it does, Zero," she says softly. She folds her arms across her chest, and taps her fingers restlessly. It only takes her a moment of deliberation before she continues. "Look, I get that… none of this — I mean. Argh," she drags a hand through her hair, "Our lives don't intersect anymore. I know that. But that doesn't mean, it doesn't mean…"

"No, no I understand," Zero babbles, hands raised placatingly, "But the thing is, I honestly don't know what to think. It's a lot to take in. We're springing stuff on you, and you're giving back equally as much, and… I'm finding it really hard trying to get over how big that guy is. He's kind of…"

"You might think he looks like some kind of a brute," Yuuki starts, and Zero's mouth snaps shut as he winces in anticipation of her angry rebuttal, but then she completely shocks him with a toothy grin, "And if you do you'd be right, because he is one."

Fucking Yuuki, Zero gripes. Making me sweat for nothing.

"Why don't you tell us more about him?" Kaname the Half-assed Peacekeeper suggests, as Ludo reenters the room with a squirming Peppe.

He stands off to the side awkwardly, pretending to focus on drying the boy — his son, Zero corrects, his son who he shares with Yuuki, holy crap — and not on them. Now that he's starting to get over the size of Ludo, Zero notices other things about him, such as the fact that he's not ugly but rather plain, and there are scars covering most of his exposed skin. Despite his intimidating appearance, the fact that Yuuki and Peppe are completely unafraid of him speaks volumes. He could probably crush Peppe without much effort, but the way he is gently patting him dry is so tender that Zero knows he'd sooner strangle himself than harm a single hair on either of their heads. God, Zero thinks, scolding himself. Get a fucking grip. So the man is big and scary. So what? He knows better than to judge a book by its cover.

Ashamed, Zero cannot meet the man's eye, but Kaname gives him a mental nudge, and reluctantly Zero listens: Don't blame yourself, he urges him, I thought the same. The first thing you notice is often instinct, not what you genuinely think. Knee-jerk, and meaningless. What you really think comes after, so let's give ourselves another chance, okay?

Zero takes Kaname's hand to agree with him. Ludo seems to take this as an indication that he is nervous. His eyes flit between Zero and Kaname, and he seems to pick up on the fact that they think he's dangerous. Something sad flickers in his pale eyes as he carefully lets Peppe down.

"Go put the imp in some clothes. It's a rule to wear clothes in my house."

Ludo frowns at Yuuki, but goes to do as she instructs.

"So it's a rule to wear clothes indoors, but not outside?" Zero teases, hoping to lighten the mood. Yuuki shrugs halfheartedly.

"My house, my rules," she offers, and adds, "Also, he's still being potty-trained."

Again, it hits Zero that Yuuki's a mom with the same force it would take to stun someone with a pea-shooter.

"When did you have him? How old is he?" Maybe she'll be more keen to talk about Peppe than Ludo.

He is fucking wrong again. Strike two.

Yuuki's face goes carefully blank.

"We've had him for two years."

Something clicks then. Something Zero didn't expect to require assembling clicks together in his head. Covered head-to-toe in mud, and then soaked like a drowned rat, and then burrito-d in a towel… they've not really managed to properly see what Peppe actually looks like. He'd assumed he was Yuuki's — that Yuuki had birthed him. ( — you have mama's hair! )

But he was wrong. It seems that none of Yuuki's new family are related by blood.

"How far along are you?"

Zero blinks, thrown by the topic change. He can feel the weight of Yuuki's gaze on his belly. It's impossible to read that look, but it seems to be somewhere between cold and wistful.

"I don't know," he answers truthfully, "I didn't even know until pretty late, and I've only started showing recently. It's… it's growing pretty fast now," he chuckles weakly.

"Yeah?" Yuuki tries for a smile, but fails halfway through. The ice of her stare melts fractionally, and it's like she shrinks. Her fingers play at the hem of her shirt, twisting in an odd, circular motion that he presumes to be a nervous habit. Ludo catches sight of this and moves, but before he's even taken two steps Yuuki shakes her head sharply, and he stays. She sucks in a deep breath, and then says, "We tried many times but it never seemed to stick."

"Yuuki," Ludo rumbles. He'd come in the room without anyone noticing, obviously thinking he'd slip back into the kitchen to help out but he'd got side-tracked, and despite not understanding their language he must have known what Yuuki was talking about from her body language. He seems angry at first, but it's more likely sadness. "Yuuki, please."

Many times, Yuuki said. No number. Many times a baby took, but each time they failed to 'stick'. All the physical changes he saw in Yuuki before… he'd thought it was Peppe who left her body soft and curved, but no. It was these other children who were never born. These babies who changed Yuuki irrevocably, inside and out — who carved their marks into her bones and left her flesh stretched and achingly bare. Suddenly he feels the weight of his own child pressing into him and... it's not fair that a trick of fate would grant him this — this thing he never wanted, when Yuuki was denied her children so many times. It feels like he's rubbing it in her face, even though all he's doing is sitting there.

'Yuuki's a mom' had knocked him for six earlier on, but now it was opening the ground beneath his feet to consider that she'd been a mother so many times, possibly even years before Peppe was born.

"Maybe it's because he's Human and I'm not."

He is looking at Yuuki when she says this, but it's like he's seeing through her skin to the many spaces left inside her, like gaping wounds that refused to heal, or empty rooms gathering dust in an old abandoned house.

"That's what we thought at first," Yuuki explains, and it sounds like something she's rehearsed. Something she's repeated many times over. He doesn't want to think how many times. "But there have been Vampire-Human children before. Not many, but some, so it wasn't that. It's actually a lot more common to miscarry than you hear about, so I thought maybe we were unlucky. We tried again, and this time it stayed longer. It even had tiny little hands and feet, the doctors said, but I couldn't really tell. The next time we had an extra week or two on the previous, and I thought to myself… I started to think really stupid things, like — maybe I'm getting better at keeping it? If I keep at it, maybe I can train my body to carry the baby to term? I know it doesn't work that way, but I kept telling myself: maybe this time. Again, and again, and again."

"Enough now," Ludo insists, leaning towards Yuuki but rooted to the floor. "Enough."

"There was no pattern to knowing how long I could have them for or when I'd lose them, so I treated my body like a dartboard and threw everything into trying to get closer and closer to the centre. Eventually I thought it had worked — I thought we'd made it because… because the last one was a girl," Yuuki smiles tearfully at the floor.

Ludo breaks from his invisible shackles and staggers towards his wife. Even as he wraps himself around her, she is as unmoving as a statue, and all his efforts to pull her out of her nightmarish trance are as effective as a mild breeze on the open sea.

"He's right," Kaname whispers, jolting Zero from his daze. A girl. That meant she'd been far along her term to know, until — until it failed, same as the others. "You don't have to — "

"Let her speak."

They all jump at Ebba's gravel rasp. Zero almost forgot she was even there. It's a mystery how she'd gone unnoticed for so long, with those eyes burning like live coals in her wooden face.

"Placental abruption at twenty-four weeks," Yuuki says easily, as if they are discussing the weather. "It was night time, and I remember waking to the smell of blood. Ludo was there beside me, half-soaked in the sheets." She gives a sad, fond chortle that sickens Zero. "I didn't know what to do. I wanted to let him sleep. I wanted to lie back down next to him and pretend it was a nightmare. There was nothing wrong with me. It wasn't my fault. It happened for absolutely no reason."

"I'm so sorry, Yuuki," Kaname murmurs.

She doesn't seem to hear them.

"The scar hurts when it rains, or when the weather's cold. It shouldn't," Yuuki shrugs, "But… I suppose it's to remind me that I'm not meant to bear my own children."

Why would Yuuki have scar as a Pureblood? The answer is simple, but difficult to swallow, and a spark of anger catches Zero — that Yuuki not only had to suffer losing her daughter, but had to cut open her own body to remove her too, and that now something as uncontrollable as the weather keeps the memory fresh.

"Peppe isn't alone in being adopted," she adds out of nowhere. "The whole village is made up of orphans and wanderers. People who wander in and end up never leaving. I don't mean that in any morbid sense, it's just that people choose to stay here. It's easy to belong, because we're all outsiders, lost and searching. The children though — they're often found abandoned at the tracks, or if they're lucky, somewhere indoors. Ludo would've walked right past Peppe if it weren't for the dogs."

"Baby?" Ludo pipes up, miming a rocking motion to Zero, who is a little unsettled at being addressed by him, but then can't help but be glad for his interruption. It certainly helps break the tension left from the previous topic.

"Yes, baby," he nods, running a hand over his protruding middle.

Ludo looks surprised, then confused, and finally pensive as he turns to Yuuki with his thoughts, "So is he intersex?"

It's a startling and unexpected conclusion to draw from very few known facts, and Zero is both impressed and speechless. He's not clear on the actual definition of being 'intersex' himself, so he hesitates to agree, though if it's what he suspects it is, then Ludo isn't totally wrong. It's far too complicated a thing to explain (or ponder) though, and Yuuki looks like she's going cross-eyed trying to figure it out herself.

"Vampire?" Ludo tries instead, dropping the issue for another. This time he has both fingers hooked by his lips to mime crude fangs at him. Zero laughs out loud and nods. He goes 'ah,' and nods back at Zero like that explains exactly how a man like him can be pregnant. Yuuki sighs, but looks fond.

"Go away," she makes a shooing motion at him, "These are my relatives, not yours. I want to talk to them without you hovering."

Ludo pouts, but goes back to the kitchen after dropping a kiss on her brow. It's obvious he's still listening in, even though he won't understand a thing. Kaname rises from the couch, smiling at the back of Ludo's head.

"Sorry Yuuki, but would you mind telling me where the bathroom is?"

"Go upstairs, turn left, then left at the end of the corridor."

"Thanks."

Strange request, given that Kaname hadn't 'needed the bathroom' since they set off on their flight. He's probably gone to snoop then, Zero figures, and dismisses him like that. There's no point trying to stop Kaname when he wants to snoop. He's sorely tempted to go after him if only to escape being left behind with Yuuki, alone, but that would just be rude. Ulli gives a sullen warble and stares after Kaname's retreating back longingly. It's funny when he stops to consider that it's basically Kaname pining after himself. The ego on the man. Yuuki clicks her tongue then, and she and Ulli then immediately commence a frigid staring contest that makes Zero want to flee the room.

"You do know that he's not a real owl, right?"

God. What is wrong with his impulse control today? All these things he doesn't mean to say keep flying out of his mouth. Luckily, Yuuki only snorts at him good-naturedly.

"Of course I know," she says. "Do you think I was born yesterday? I've known since he gave me the blasted thing. It was the least subtle thing he's ever done. He literally handed me this egg, as — and I quote — 'a gift to keep you company on your travels', the dork. It was tiny and almost blue, Zero, like an ugly marble. He said it would need hatching, but clearly Ulli had other ideas because the egg just exploded one day and became him. God, the lengths Kaname goes to pretend he's not the obsessive control-freak he is. He must think I'm really stupid to fall for something like that."

"He's always had a tendency of underestimating you, Yuuki," Zero says, hoping he isn't shitting too badly on Yuuki's respect for Kaname, though it doesn't look like she needs much help in that department. Apparently the years have worn the pedestal Yuuki put her brother on down to a lowly footstool. He has to admit, he's rather pleased by this.

"And you haven't?"

Yuuki's incredulous tone has Zero's mind stuttering. What does she mean?

"Of course not!" he exclaims, though his mind is reeling through all of his memories with Yuuki, and the more he looks, the more he thinks he's lying. He used to patrol with her night after night without hesitation, fully confident in her fighting ability, but he was also convinced at one point that she wouldn't be able to handle knowing that he was a Vampire, and continued to try to keep it from her. He'd even promised he would never let her be Turned into a Vampire in some absurdly ironic attempt to comfort her, and all through the War he'd left her at the sidelines, partly because he was so busy with Kaname and Rido, but also to keep her away from the danger —

Oh god. He was just like Kaname. Fuck no. No way.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Yuuki hums smugly, folding her arms. "You both think I'm helpless. And thick. Aren't you supposed to think the world of me, as my older brothers — "

"Yuuki, you're not thick!" Zero exclaims, mentally shoving aside the memory of her appalling grades and moments of incredible gullibility. She'd been young and naive, and since when did grades or a trusting nature indicate a lack of intelligence anyway?

"Thank you for pointing that out so often to me. All those times I asked you to tutor me and you agreed to without grumbling, it was obviously not because you thought I was being lazy, or that the material was too difficult for me to grasp. Naturally you knew it had to be because I was tired from patrolling all night long, otherwise I'd have no trouble understanding the work like you did, because people can only be your level of genius or dumb as soup. There's no such thing as in-between, is there?"

"Yuuki…" he murmurs, taken aback by all her sharp edges and vehemence. He feels like he's been slapped in the face, especially when Yuuki glares at Ulli and the mood takes another nose-dive. "I'm… I never meant to make you feel that way."

"I know," she says quietly. "Neither of you did. I know that. You're always trying to protect me from this, that and the other, but usually end up hurting me instead." Zero recoils, knowing exactly what she's referring to. "I'm used to it. I've accepted it. I'm your very own self-fulfilling prophecy."

Fuck, that hurts. It's everything he'd been dreading — everything he'd hoped she'd gotten over, but it's clear to Zero now that neither of them will ever get over this part of their past. It's done. It's now. It's where they are.

"Do you still hate me?"

Yuuki's head snaps up.

"I never did."

Zero lets out a gasping sob, and then a shuddering breath, and Yuuki is in his arms.

Her face is damp against his neck. It's one of the most intimate and vulnerable embraces two Vampires can share, and it strikes Zero right to his core — that this trust somehow still exists between them. This love, that Zero — until now — assumed to be unrequited.

"I'm gonna be honest here, I still don't get it. Even after all these years, it still took me by surprise. You went from hating each other's guts to being madly in love so fast, which is something I never even considered to be a possibility between you two. I don't think I'll ever understand it, but that doesn't mean I can't accept what's happened."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I took him from you. You've gotta know I never — "

"I know," Yuuki whispers into his ear. "I know. I never doubted you for a second."

"Okay," he gulps for air like he's drowning, "Okay, good. Can we — can we talk about something else? Anything else, tell me," he blinks around at the blurry room for something to grasp onto. Ulli fluffs his feathers imperiously. "Ludo — how did you meet him?"

"Ah, now that's a funny story." Yuuki settles onto his lap carefully, mindful of his bump. "When I came here, all I had with me was the money Kaname gave me and a suitcase of clothes. I had no idea what to do — where to find a place to stay, how to get around. I was terribly nervous, especially when I found out that I was one of only three other Vampires to live in the area, but soon enough I realised that no one really cared. Some were a little wary of me once it got around that I was a high-Class Vampire, but it wasn't the reason why I found it difficult to get work and lodging. That was all down to the language barrier and my lack of experience. No one wanted to hire me because it was clear to them that they'd need to put time and effort into training me, and because of that they didn't think I had a chance.

"I was just about ready to leave this place for another when I decided to give it one last shot, so I went to the career office and lo and behold," she wiggled her brows, "I found myself literally knocked over by this great big bear of a man. He'd been kicked out for causing a scene inside, but I wasn't to know that, and in the state I was in I thought the world had it out for me. I thought fuck it, I'm not going to take this sitting down, and this guy isn't going to get away with that either. That was my last last straw."

"Oh no," Zero mutters.

"Oh no indeed," Yuuki grins. "I let rip. I started screaming at him and hitting him right there. He obviously thought I was crazy and he was already pissed off from his own altercation, so he wasted no time in giving back as good as he got. Funny thing was — I still didn't know how to speak the language, so neither of us had any clue what the other was saying. In the end we were just screaming noise at each other."

"Oh, that's great."

"No it get's better — the security guards had to be brought in and we were taken to the town hall lock-up because we don't have an actual prison here."

"So on your first meeting you get arrested." Zero face-palms, though he's barely holding back laughter. "Fuck, Yuuki."

"I know," she looks delighted, "Isn't it romantic?"

"It's certainly memorable."

"You're telling the prison-story again, aren't you?"

Both of them gasp when Ludo suddenly appears out of nowhere, looming over the back of the couch with an rakish grin that completely transforms his face from that sombre to a Cheshire Cat smile. Despite this description, Zero can almost imagine his tail wagging like a dog's.

Yuuki bats a hand halfheartedly at him, "Stop eavesdropping."

"What are you saying about me?"

"I'm telling them you're ugly, now go away," she laughs — wait, them? It's then that Zero notices Kaname standing there on the bottom step, an amused smile on his lips and a blushing Peppe on his hip. For some reason, Zero can't look away. Kaname returns to his place on Zero's right, and Ludo sandwiches him on his other side. Peppe reaches over to shove Yuuki off Zero's lap, crawling into her vacated spot like he belongs there. Zero's hands flutter all around the squirming boy, uncertain of what he should be doing much to the hilarity of the others, but eventually he has to grab him around the middle before he topples off.

"Lies," Ludo says cheerfully, uncaring whether they understand him or not (Zero suspects he's worked out that they can, in fact, understand him, if not he them). "She doesn't know what she's saying. When I found her she was feral. All shrieky and slappy." He mockingly adopts a faux-flustered expression and acts out swatting ineffectually at the air, much to Yuuki's loud protests. Peppe hilariously misinterprets his father's actions and calmly reaches up to meet him in a solid high-five.

"As I was saying," Yuuki says loudly over their laughter, "We were stuck in prison with nothing to do, so the idiot got bored and decided to whine to me about his awful day. It turned out we were both facing the same problem — he was finding it hard to get work due to his 'history of anger issues' and 'difficult behaviour'. Of course, I only had a vague idea of he was saying from what little I could understand, so I just kept nodding along hoping eventually he'd shut up. Without meaning to, I agreed that we would help each other get out of the situation."

"I thought she had a better chance of getting us out, what with her being all little and cute. The police officers already knew me pretty well, but they might believe her if she were to say it was all a misunderstanding."

"Thank goodness I'm so little and cute, because somehow… I'm still not sure how, I managed to get us out. Part of it must have involved money, because I left with my purse considerably lighter. Since I blamed him completely — "

" — and very loudly — "

" — for this, he agreed to help me find a place to stay for payment. Everything else that follows is pretty self-explanatory. We stayed together out of habit, chose to team together to get work, and then… we kept going on. The years wore me down, and I ended up getting used to being with him."

Ludo snorts, booping Peppe's freckled nose, "Your mama is a liar, little man. She fell crazy in love me."

"I accept that I became crazy when I met you, but that's all I'm agreeing to," Yuuki insists firmly, smoothing back Peppe's fluffy red hair. "It was a continuous downwards spiral after that… that and Stockholm Syndrome."

"You agreed to marriage."

"For the tax benefits," she replies snippily, though her eyes are twinkling. "And because I otherwise wouldn't have been able to adopt Peppe. It's a silly law I wasn't aware of till it cropped up," she explains, rolling her eyes, "Vampires apparently can't be trusted to adopt Human children without a Human officially vouching for them to confirm that they aren't just looking for a snack. Who knew, right? Ludo thought it was hilarious when we were told."

"That's preposterous," Zero exclaims.

Yuuki meets him head-on without missing a beat, "Then do something about it, my King."

"What were your thoughts about Yuuki when you first found out she was a Vampire?" Kaname asks Ludo out of nowhere, somehow speaking his language to be perfectly understood by him.

Yuuki groans, "No shovel talk, Kaname."

"I thought it explained why she's so pretty, but other than that I didn't believe it. For one, she eats a lot of garlic, and secondly, she hardly ever drinks blood. After a while, I discovered the only superstition that seems to hold any weight is the one about sunlight — she burns really easily. It's not a pretty sight. Anyway, I figured I didn't really care what she was. Either way she's still a pain in my neck, both literally and figuratively, and yet… if given the choice, I wouldn't change a thing about her," he finishes, looking Kaname dead in the eye.

"So sweet," Yuuki coos. Ludo blows a raspberry. "But he's all talk. I was the one who had to make the first move, if you can believe it. It was humiliating."

"Ugh, please," Ludo scoffs, "You love wearing the pants in this relationship."

"Pants have nothing to do with this."

"They do when you're the one trying to get into them — "

"O-kay," Zero cuts in, bouncing the restless boy on his knees as he finds himself trapped in from all sides and feeling very uncomfortable. Yuuki cackles into Ludo's shoulder, and Ebba lets out another terrifying squawk of noise which seems to be laughter. Clearly she's been listening this whole time. Zero jerks his thumb over his shoulder at her, "So, what's her story?"

"This was her house," Yuuki says, gesturing to their surroundings. "She came with the furniture."

Apparently that's all the explanation he's gonna get, so he simply nods as though it makes any sense to him.

"Show me your teeth."

There are little sticky hands on his jaw. Zero has no idea how they got there, but they're tugging at his face till he obediently opens his mouth, and then they're suddenly in his mouth and he gags at the salty taste of Play-Doh on his tongue.

"Gentle, Peppe," Yuuki scolds. Apparently her only problem with this is her son being too rough, not him being a living choking hazard.

"You have… they're pointy. Like mine," Peppe mumbles, pulling his own bottom lip back to show him his tiny pointed fangs. Strangely enough, Zero thinks they're rather cute. "Are you like mama?"

"Yes," he pauses, momentarily bewildered by his fluency in a language he's never learnt. Must be a Pureblood thing, he assumes. "Yes I am." It occurs to him then, that he was told Peppe was a Human, but his teeth and (now that he is clean enough to smell him) scent say different. He tries to shoot Yuuki a questioning glance, but Peppe keeps his chin in a firm grip.

"Vampir," he points at Zero, "Vampirica," at Yuuki, "Human," he sneers at Ludo, "…big Vampir," he hesitates with Kaname, "Dhampir," he says proudly, pointing at himself, and finally, after turning a full one-eighty and staring at Ebba's back for a long moment, he finally settles on, "Old."

While Ludo and Kaname snigger to themselves, Zero raises his eyebrow, disbelieving. "A Dhampir?"

"It's funny, isn't it?" Yuuki says, "Of all the impossible improbable things we've seen, it's something like this we find difficult to believe. I suppose part of it is due to how rare they are. You've probably only ever read about them in books. That's because they aren't very common, not because they don't exist."

"Dhampirs are often considered abominations by purists," Kaname adds mildly. The fact that both Kuran siblings are speaking so matter-of-factly and the fact that Peppe is calmly chewing on his wet sleeve, puts Zero at ease that he hasn't stepped on anyone's toes. He can't say the same for Kaname though, who seems to be determined to stay on Yuuki's bad side.

"Yes," Yuuki says tightly, her eyes fixed on her oblivious son, "No one wants a Half-breed, certainly not his parents. We couldn't even track them down to find out who they were." Her flame-eyes burn, reminding Zero of all the children she tried to have, every single one of them wanted. It must have been a huge insult to discover that Peppe was abandoned for being who he was when Yuuki and Ludo wanted a child exactly like him. She smiles slowly, sending shivers down his spine. "They're lucky we didn't. What they might've called their abomination is now our little monster," her smile warms as she carefully plucks Zero's sleeve out from between Peppe's teeth, trying not to rip it.

Zero rolls his shredded sleeve up his arm, "So is there any truth to the lore or is it all bollocks? Because from what I can see, they aren't so bad, despite being little monsters who are… unusually interested in hair," he says, awkwardly leaning down to let Peppe properly access his hair. He has no idea why he's letting him do this. Peppe grins at him, his huge dark eyes sucking Zero in like black holes. Ah, maybe that's why. He sneaks a look at Yuuki, "Why is he like this? What did I — why me?"

"He likes you," she says sweetly, then, "Gentle, honey," to Peppe. "Anyway, despite him liking to bite things, he doesn't need to drink blood. I actually think he prefers daytime to night because he hates bedtime. Um…" she thinks, "Other than that, I guess he does have an odd fixation with mud and dirt, but that's common in most children. He burns easily in sunlight and is rather pale, but we put that mostly down to him being ginger."

"His hair is like stars," Peppe whispers breathily, twirling a lock of hair around his finger.

He's utterly entranced — and so is Zero who is, by some miracle, not freaking out. Oh, inside he's a ball of nerves, terrified of being the centre of Peppe's undivided attention, but somehow he's caught under this tiny child's spell. Maybe Dhampirs do have some power, he ponders.

"Uh-oh," Ludo sing-songs, grinning viciously. Zero narrows his eyes at him. "Baby-boy," he croons to his son, who is largely ignoring both his parents in favour of Zero, "Did you know that you're going to have another cousin soon?"

'Another?' Zero mouths at Yuuki, confused. 'The other kids in the village,' she mouths back in answer. He widens his eyes in understanding, even as he is flooded with mixed feelings of sadness and gratitude for these kindhearted villagers he's never met. Ugh. All these dots connecting in a collision of points that Zero should have seen a while back, but refused to because he's an avid avoider of problems. They're going to be cousins — he thinks. It goes hand-in-hand with I'm going to be a parent and this is all Kaname's fucking fault, he knows this and yet… he glances up, only to find Kaname silently shaking with laughter and being of no help to him yet again. Fucking traitor.

"Mm," Peppe is more intent on dragging his hands through Zero's star-coloured hair than listening to his father.

"Yeah, both your uncles are going to have a baby, you know," Ludo repeats, deliberately, "Together."

"Yeah, pa."

"I'm pretty sure it's me alone who's going to be having it," Zero grumbles.

"Aren't you happy, pipsqueak?" Ludo wheedles, sharing a look with his wife, "You'll have another cousin to play with!"

Peppe puffs out his cheeks. "I want more dogs."

"No," Yuuki shuts him down immediately.

Peppe's hands curl into tiny fists.

"Uh, guys?" Zero winces at the tight grip on his hair.

"I want a brother then," Peppe says, sticking his chin out, "Not another cousin. I have enough cousins."

"Peppe," Ludo says sharply, standing. The little boy releases Zero instantly, and stares up, up, up at his father, his chin wobbling even as he stands his ground. Ludo bops him on his bottom and plucks him off Zero's lap. "Naughty boy. You know you can't have a brother unless a stork brings him to us." Ludo's eyes dart towards Yuuki as he sweeps Peppe off, darkening at the sight of her shuttered face. There's a soft coo as Ulli swoops by, talons grazing Yuuki's shoulder as he lands on Ludo's shoulder. "Or an owl," Ludo amends, lifting Peppe so he can reach him.

"Dinner!"

Is it going to make Zero jump like this every time Ebba interrupts them? He staggers to his feet, ignoring Kaname's offered hand. The asshole is laughing at him with his eyes. Peppe goes running ahead, bouncing on his toes with far too much energy for this late in the day.

"What about a dog?" he pipes up again, stubborn, but finds himself quickly losing heart when Ebba plants a steaming bowl in front of him along with an admonishing look. As soon as Zero sits down though, he shoots off his seat and before Zero can blink, Peppe has crawled his way back onto his lap, and Kaname has moved his bowl over to him. He starts eating immediately, having chosen Zero as his seat. Baffled by this, Zero simply stares.

"You don't like it, you don't eat," Ebba says curtly, glaring at him out of the corner of her eye.

Zero quickly grabs something — garlic mashed potatoes, he thinks — but looks around for Yuuki at the same time, only to find her on the couch. He can see the back of her head but Ludo is otherwise obscuring her from view. His head is bowed against hers, and he's speaking to her in a low murmur. Zero averts his eyes, feeling like he saw something he shouldn't have.

"Do you not eat? Do you only drink blood?"

He frowns down at the back of Peppe's head, utterly bewildered by the boy's interest in Vampires and in him. "No, I'm just waiting for your mom and dad to sit down."

"Why?"

"Because it's polite."

Peppe's spoon halts halfway to his open mouth. His bowl is half-empty already.

"I'm sure they don't mind you eating though," Zero hurries to say, feeling bad when Peppe's mouth snaps shut and he pouts at his uneaten food hungrily.

"Hurry up. Food's getting cold," Ebba barks, saving the day. Yuuki tuts but drags her husband along to join them.

As she takes her seat at the head of the table, the thought occurs to Zero that she looks so much more settled here, more comfortable in her own skin than she ever would've been staying with them. It's a comforting thought. She looks more a queen here in her own house than she ever would have in the Vampire Court.

"You know, it won't take more than an hour at most to read that book."

He finds her looking back at him as she digs the soft innards of her bread rolls out with her thumbs and piles them to the side. As soon as it grows two inches high, Peppe's hand shoots out faster than a blink and the fluffy bread is crammed into his pillowy cheeks.

"Yeah," Zero says, scooping out his own bread too and handing it to him. "I suppose we'll be off soon, then." Yuuki watches him with an odd smile.

"That's a shame," she says, elbowing Ludo away when he tries to feed her.

"Well, I don't… I don't think it was the plan to stay for long," he looks to Kaname for confirmation, however he's squinting at his sister curiously. No help there. "I guess we'll be out of your way before long."

"Will you come back?"

"What?"

He can't stop himself gaping. It's been understood by him from the start that this was to be a one-time visit. This, then, is like seeing a door appear where there were once only walls. Yuuki is perfectly serene as she sips her soup.

"Will you be coming back?" she repeats after swallowing, this time in her newer tongue. That's not fair, Zero wants to say, when Peppe's head swivels around and Ludo looks up in sudden interest. Even Ulli flaps a couple times, showing his attention is on them.

"I… I don't know," he replies honestly. Peppe bounces in his lap impatiently.

Zero turns to Kaname desperately. He wants to say yes, but at the same time he doesn't. Coming back would commit them to this family, and thus Yuuki's happiness. He wants to be part of it, but at the same time he is scared of crushing their little world with all their big-world problems. Their responsibilities are greater than them, and often force them to make terrible choices. They've had to choose between family and duty far too many times already in this war, and lost too many of their own as a result.

As a sticky little hand drops onto his wrist, he narrowly avoids being sucked into Peppe's void-like eyes, and there he finds his answer.

"I'm not sure we should," he says quietly, fighting everything inside him that wants to say yes, let us come again, let us be a part of your life.

"Then you should stay for as long as you can," Yuuki says, and without missing a beat turns to Peppe, "Stop digging out your vegetables. I know what you're doing." She watches him until he's eaten six carrots. "The least you can do is spend some time with your nephew so he'll have something to remember you by, not that I think he'll have any trouble forgetting you," she isn't looking at Zero when she says this, but he knows who she is talking to.

"We will," Kaname promises, sharing a sly smile with his sister.

Zero is about to snap at them both, but is halted by little fingers once again — this time offering him his remaining carrots as if they are a gift, not a much detested vegetable. There's no hesitation. He wraps his hand around Peppe's wrist to guide the fork to his mouth and, much to his delight, eats every single one — all while staring unblinkingly at Yuuki.

Somehow, after dinner Zero finds himself coerced into joining in with Peppe's 'bedtime routine'. Maybe it's those damnable eyes again, or Yuuki's inescapable hands clenched tight like a vice around his wrists. Either way, he follows Ludo's instructions carefully, pointedly ignoring the burn of three pairs of eyes on him as he smoothes the blankets over Peppe and dutifully performs the 'spell' (written by Yuuki) that will supposedly keep all bad dreams and monsters away.

He slowly closes the door till only a slither of light pierces Peppe's room, and then immediately jabs a finger at his husband and in-laws, "Not a word," he snarls, poking Kaname in the chest hard, "Especially you."

Kaname holds up his hands in surrender, his chest heaving with the effort not to laugh. "Not a word," he promises.

Ludo wanders off to bed, and Ebba comes over only to snag Kaname by the elbow and drag him off, bickering about blankets and pillows or something to that effect. That leaves Zero feeling rather cornered and exposed as Yuuki smiles at him like she's got a secret to tell, but he cannot honestly say this makes him want to escape her either. The realisation that this visit may be the last time he sees her for real makes him want to stay. She guides him through the dim light of the living room, through to the kitchen table.

"I didn't know you were so good with kids."

"I'm not," he says, shaking his head. "It's your son who's good with me. God knows why, but he likes me."

She blows the steam off her drink to disguise her smirk, "I almost feel like I should be asking what your intentions are towards him."

Zero chokes on his tea.

"Me?" he sputters, "My intentions? Please. That boy is anything but subtle."

Yuuki snorts indelicately. "Look who his father is."

Zero hums in agreement, ceding her point.

"So how are you feeling about this? Excited?" she then asks, leaning her elbows on the table to set her chin on her propped hands. This is what she brought him here to ask, whatever 'this' is. At his blank stare, she sighs. "The baby, Zero. How are you feeling about the baby?"

After a moment of thought, he shrugs.

"Hm, thought so," Yuuki nods, lips pursed. "I never pegged you as someone who wanted children."

"You know I'm not," he agrees again, "I've never wanted kids." Even as he says this, emphasising his lack of shame about the matter, there's a veritable weight that flows off his shoulders at the confession. He's told the others this, and Kaname many times before, but telling Yuuki is different. "I'm still not sure if I do."

"So Kaname was the one who pressured you into having one."

"Not really 'pressured', so much as put the baby in me without telling me he did."

"That's fucked up," she tells him, and he shrugs again as if to say: what can you do? It's Kaname. "He should really learn how to ask before he does these things."

"Yeah, we're working on that," he says, thinking about the discussion he had with Kaname about his methods. In hindsight, he isn't sure how much of a success it was.

"The only reason he gets away with these things is because we love him, but that doesn't make it right. You have talked about this to him, haven't you?"

"Yeah."

"And I'm guessing it didn't go well."

"You know how it went. He listens, but half the time I don't think he's really understood what the problem is."

She bangs a fist on the table. "Then make him."

"He doesn't trust me, Yuuki," Zero says, heart aching, "After all this time, he still won't tell me what's on his mind. I have to coax everything out of him, and I'm tired of putting in the effort when I know in the end it probably won't even give me half the picture. Sometimes I could just kill him," he growls, hands tightening on an imaginary throat. Yuuki sighs.

"You really need to get this sorted out. It sounds like a trust issue, but it's more than that. I hate to say it, but your relationship sounds really unhealthy to me, and the longer you let things like this sit and fester the worse it's gonna get. I mean, and I'm not exaggerating here, but Zero — do you have any idea what it looks like when you tell me that Kaname basically tricked you into having his child? That's disturbingly, dangerously close to rape — and no," she snaps, pointing at him, "Don't you dare defend him. I'm just telling you what I see. I know he didn't technically rape you, but it's the principle of the matter, Zero. He did something to you without your permission. Without your consent. That's a breach of trust that I would have a hard time forgiving. I don't know how you've managed to move past it, and part of me worries that you've done so far too easily."

"Kaito said something along those lines to me," Zero mumbles, caught in a numb daze.

"Well, for once I think that pain-in-the-ass might be right." Yuuki presses her lips together in the exact same way Kaname does when he's mulling something over. Zero's stomach flips. "You need to... to see where I'm coming from here. If it were anyone else in your shoes, you'd be saying what I'm saying to you now. You'd be telling them they have a right to a choice, to be respected and have their opinion considered in every decision they make — with both loved ones and strangers alike, because your choice matters. You're allowed to say 'no', you're allowed to change your mind... these are things you taught me, Zero. Self-respect and self-government, knowing your limits and your worth. What happened?" Yuuki's voice cracks, and for the first time in all of this, her eyes are shiny with tears. "What happened to you?"

"I... I don't know." The words are clumsy in his soft mouth, and all of this is like a cymbal clanging mere centimetres his face. The jarring, painful realisation that Yuuki is right — that somehow she has taken his place, that they have somehow switched attitudes — makes him want to throw up. He's always thought of himself as his own person: fiercely self-sufficient and capable. When had that changed? He feels hollow with the knowledge that deep down, somewhere inside him, he's changed. "Thank you for reminding me."

When did he start losing sight of himself? Was it when he fell in love? Were the two things related? But no, love and respect aren't mutually exclusive things. He can see with Yuuki and Ludo, their relationship is well-balanced, with both their stubborn selves butting at every opportunity but loving the friction, loving the differences. Was it in the Castle then? Is that where they broke him?

"That's alright. That's what I'm here for. Everyone needs to be reminded every now and again." She's watching him carefully for something. He dares not think what. "So back to the baby."

"Too late to back out now," he mutters, running an absentminded hand over the swell of his stomach.

"But the question still remains: what will you do with it once it's born?" Yuuki insists, leaning even further forwards. "That thing growing inside you is going to be a person someday. It's going to need feeding, and cleaning, and teaching, and loving. Will you be the one to give them all that?"

Zero glances down at it, a wisp of something fogging in his mind, a ghost-whisper of awareness blurring his senses for a brief moment. That's the baby. He recognises its mind in his mind now, like a breeze occasionally rippling the waters of his thoughts.

"I guess?" The thought fills him with neither excitement nor dread. Maybe the feeling is resignation, but he's not quite sure. "I'm not gonna just throw them out on the street, Yuuki. Just because I don't want to be a parent, that doesn't make me heartless." Anger grounds him. It's good, and he closes his eyes to feel it. His hand is already on the bulge again, mindlessly. He seems to be doing that a lot more often lately. Is that growing fondness or just habit? "I'll… maybe I'll even enjoy being a parent. After some practice." Despite all his efforts, he grimaces.

"You can't practice loving someone. But, I suppose you can raise someone without love," Yuuki says frowning, "Not that that's advisable, or something I think you'll do. I'm sure you will be a brilliant parent, but the thing is… I want you to know that there are other options available to you if you ever change your mind."

This has Zero sitting up a little, and when he meets her eyes, his hand slides into hers, "You?" he says, grasping at her like she's hope itself — "You would…?"

"I would," she nods, pressing her cheek against his knuckles, "If you asked me to. They'd be well looked after here, and safe and… and what I'm trying to tell you is you aren't alone in this, Zero. You're lucky to have a family who are willing to help. If you ever decide to change your mind, you can — safe in the knowledge that your baby will be well-loved and cared for. It's not ideal, and do I hope you choose to raise them, because at the end of the day they're yours, and nothing will ever change that. Nothing is better than your own parent, as you and I both know, and nobody will ever be able to replace you for them, but I want you to know that this offer is unconditional. No expiry date, no terms and conditions," she presses her forehead to his wrist, "If you need me, I'll be here."

Out of nowhere, his throat starts aching, and tears fill his eyes at her promise. This is beyond anything he'd been expecting from her, and he is lost for words. He kisses her temple, closing his eyes at her warm scent, and then he opens them to look around the house — at the terracotta tiles of the kitchen, the colourful stains of board-chalk scrubbed off the walls countless times, the smell of herbs and mud that permeates everywhere, and he thinks… a child wouldn't just do well here, they'd be happy too. Peppe is proof of that. It's comforting to know that if he were to take her up on her offer, he wouldn't feel so bad, knowing his child would be living in a place like this. They might even be better off with Yuuki, despite what she says.

He's struck with the thought that she's right: he's lucky. So goddamn lucky to have her. It's more than he deserves — her loyalty, her compassion after he let Kaname separate them... after he didn't go after her, after he didn't even bother to check that she was happy, more intent on feeling sorry for himself than doing anything about it.

Maybe it was that that broke him. Maybe it was then that he changed. But there have been too many things that have happened before then and after for him to know for sure. He's got to do better from now on — for her, himself and everyone. Even as he tells himself this, even as he blames Kaname a lot for the way things have gone, he cannot bring himself to hate him for it. He knows it's love that's weakening him, and he should strive to fight against it, but in the end... for all your strength and all of mine, we are the two people who can most hurt each other. And out of the two of us — you are the only one who will ever choose to end things. It will be by your word and your world only.

... in the end, he's tired. Tired of fighting Kaname, tired of fighting the inevitable. When Kaname said those damning words, he'd been in the wrong. He'd betrayed Kaname. This time Kaname was to blame, thus completing the circle, and just like that — it's like his eyes have been opened.

"Thank you," he whispers, bowing his head as a weight he didn't even know he was carrying is lifted from him, and for the first time in a long while, he knows exactly what he's got to do.

---

"…it's got to be a liquid feed for now. Anything more solid will be too much for him. Mullane has put him on the slowest drip for now, a thousand cals a day, and we're getting him to drink water to get his stomach working again. Little by little. We don't want to make him sick."

"Hm."

Takuma hates ties. He hates suits. He thinks they look lovely, but under the hot studio lights he's going to be roasting. The sunglasses will be his only salvation, but otherwise he's going to suffer a lot in the coming days.

And probably suffer, most of all, a very unfortunate tan.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

He pauses in dressing himself, turning to Gadhavi incredulously.

"You're asking me this now?"

"Yes."

"Haven't you already put the feed up though?" Takuma goes over to the bed to check, even though the answer is plain to see — the bright purple tube highly visible against the white linen sheets. He straightens out a loose loop and bends to peer at where the tube disappears into Shiki's nose, wincing at the memory of them putting it in. Nasogastric tubes aren't nice at all, Gadhavi warned as he prepped, but they're much better than many alternatives.

"Yes, but that's not what I meant," the doctor says patiently, though with a hint of irritation. He smacks his hand at the papers at the foot of the bed, crinkling them. "This. Are you sure about this?"

Takuma quirks his brow, "I'm pretty sure I am."

"Pretty sure isn't good enough. How certain are you that this is going to work? Putting the Council in their place is all very well, but inviting the Humans to have some say in their punishment is only going to complicate matters, and with things so tense right now everyone's going to be out for blood," Gadhavi's forehead wrinkles, "And by bringing the media into this too you'll be shining a spotlight right at all things none of us want to see. Are you prepared to deal with the fallout? Because if it comes to it that you fail, you'll only be driving a bigger wedge between our species. I can't see it ending well."

"You're looking at this all wrong," Takuma argues, "You're assuming that bringing the Humans into the mix will make things worse, but really... how can things get any worse than they are right now? Everyone is already so on edge it's getting impossible breathe without expecting something to blow over — we're all waiting for someone to call the shots. This wedge you mentioned — this tension between us, it's only going to get bigger if we allow it to grow, but if we share a common goal, then we're more likely to have to work together to accomplish it."

"And this common goal you're saying we share — "

"Is the Council," Takuma nods, "They've been playing everyone from the start — claiming to have things under control to appease the Humans whilst actually using their power to take advantage of them. The Humans want someone to punish for all these years of secrecy and deceit. They feel cheated by us, and rightly so. We could have come out of the shadows a long time ago if the Council sought to be upfront about things and actually take control of the situation, but they didn't, which is why we are where we are, and why you Humans don't trust us Vampires at all." He shuffles over to let Gadhavi fiddle with the machine, and can't help but find it ironic — the contrast between what he's saying and what they're doing. They move in perfect ease around each other, and they've only known each other for a few days. He clears his throat before continuing, "Us Vampires are also finding it difficult to trust those in charge right now because we've been without a King for some time, and with the Council fucking up with protecting Shiki and the incident at the Castle, we're definitely out for blood too. Pardon the pun."

"Pardoned."

"So the thing is both of us want some punishment being dealt, but it wouldn't be fair if only the Vampires were allowed to reap justice. So far, you Humans have no jurisdiction over the matter, which is what has been stopping you from going after it yourself. I'm planning to change that."

"And how certain are you that your people will support you?"

"I have authority, Gadhavi," Takuma says, remembering the ceremony that gave him Headship of the Council. "They'll have to do as I say."

"With no backlash? Are you sure?" the man presses, scribbling something down on Shiki's file. "It's a bold move, giving us so much sway in such a high-profile case. I bet a lot of your people will have a lot to say about that."

"Let them," Takuma scowls, wondering when he will let this drop. "You can't please everybody. If the ends justify the means, then it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"And how sure are you that the Humans will agree to your offer?"

"That's up to them too. I don't see why they'd refuse. There's nothing to lose on their side."

"Exactly," Gadhavi snaps his fingers, "There. That's what's going to make them suspicious. If there's no obvious gain for you, but everything to gain for them, what's the catch?"

Takuma's scowl deepens, "Does there have to be a catch? I just want us to work together. It would make sense to. We have the same goal and we can help each other, so why wouldn't we?"

"Just before you said that us Humans don't trust you Vampires," Gadhavi says, pointing at him, "That's why. When something looks too good to be true, that's often because it is." He pauses. "If there's no catch, they will assume that means we're indebted to you — "

"But that's not the point!" Takuma groans.

"That's all they'll care about. You can't force trust, Ichijou. In our eyes, you're a Vampire, same any other. What makes you different from the Council? What Human would trust you so willingly after all the ways we've been mistreated?"

"This one," Takuma declares, thrusting the sheaf of papers at Gadhavi.

The doctor's eyes skim the page, stopping on the photo for a moment, and then he looks up. "You know her?"

"I did."

"That'll just makes it look worse," he sighs heavily, handing the papers back. "When everyone sees that it's someone you know, someone you've picked, who's going to represent the Humans, it'll look bad. They'll think — and rightly so — that this person is your friend, so they'll be in your pocket. They'll think it's a trick — that you're pretending to share authority with a part-Human panel when in reality, you are everything: judge, jury and executioner."

"But I need to know that the people I'm working with will actually want to work with me, not want to kick off a fight at the smallest opportunity. That has priority over what everyone else thinks. It might not look or seem fair, but I can't risk giving power to more people who will abuse it." The problem is that he doesn't know (or trust) many people outside the old Council, and his fledgling Council are too green to understand the implications of this new thing he's trying to build, and how dangerous and delicate it's going to be to construct. That leaves him with only a handful of people he's willing to engage in this project. "I need to trust them, Gadhavi. I can't be distracted with watching my back all the time when I'm trying to re-establish a government. At least I know with her I'll be able to actually get somewhere."

"She's not actually qualified to do this, you know."

"She's the best we can get in the time we have," Takuma insists, though he thought much the same when he'd been told. He rubs at the skin between his eyes angrily. "I can't afford to let this to turn into some kind of — of all-out screaming match with a buffoon who only cares about me being a Vampire, or making a big deal about Shiki and my Father. There's no one else who I can call upon to do this, Gadhavi. No other Human who will see past my Vampirism and agree to work with me. Except for you, of course, but I need you here."

"Naturally, sir," Gadhavi smiles.

"I need someone who can remain calm and focused in a high-pressure situation. She's perfect for that," Takuma adds, "Especially since this is going to be on live television. We need to be as transparent as possible. No more secrets. No more silence. The whole reason the old Treaty failed was because none of us were speaking with each other — no more," Takuma declares, running a hand over Shiki's arm before leaving him. "With us working towards the same goal, we might even learn to get along."

"I certainly hope so, though I must say, having the vehicle towards establishing this newfound friendship be meting out a punishment seems rather a gruesome method of bonding, in my opinion."

Takuma stills.

"Gruesome?" he asks lightly, though his fingers twitch at the thought of what gruesome might entail. "What sort of justice do you think I'm after?"

Gadhavi blinks.

"Are you asking me as a generic Human, or as myself?"

"... both."

"As a generic Human, I'm expecting blood. Lots and lots of blood and death. Maybe even teeth involved, who knows?" Gadhavi deadpans, "But as someone who knows you a little better than that," he says more seriously, "I... I don't know what to expect."

"Neither do I," Takuma says honestly, "Which is partly the reason why I'm welcome to someone else suggesting some ideas. Quite honestly, I'm... I don't trust myself to know what the right thing to do is in this situation. I'm too close to this," he confesses, glancing at Shiki. "It's too personal to me. I cannot promise I can remain impartial to it. All I know is that if I were left to deal with the Council myself," he shakes his head, "I fear my punishment would be exactly what you said: blood and... and..." he drifts off, staring at his pale reflection in the wall-mirror, his mouth a grim line.

Gadhavi appears beside him, shaking him from his stupor. He nods seriously, "I see."

"At least with people watching, and someone there to keep me in check... I pray it will be enough to stop me."

"What makes you so sure that Humans will be any less eager for blood?"

Takuma tears his eyes from the mirror, "What?"

"You're hoping that Humans will be more merciful than you. You're assuming we would want to be, but we are all people. This is personal for everyone. Even Humans are susceptible to violence, and sometimes having an audience can give you the motivation to do things you otherwise wouldn't. Cameras are just as good at escalating drama as they are at keeping people self-conscious. Who's to say that making this public and open to discussion will keep things civilised? People disagree, and revenge is too great a temptation for some people to resist."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying to keep your wits about you. It's good that you're trying to take preventative measures to ensure youdon't lose yourself to anger, but that might not be enough to stop blood being spilt. Not everyone is like you. Be cautious of their rage. It won't look good in the history books if the first steps Humans and Vampires took towards a brighter future together were made with blood and violence."

"I see your point." It would look pretty terrible if the first action they agree upon are a string of death sentences, or something along those lines... even if death is what the Council deserves, as far as he's concerned. Gadhavi's right. He needs to keep this clean. "This is bigger than the Council anyway. It's bigger than me, and revenge... if this goes the way I want it, then we win. We'll have managed to become exactly what the Council were trying to prevent — everything they were trying to keep from happening."

Gadhavi quirks his eyebrow, but then catches on and smiles jokingly, "And what would that be exactly, sir... 'friends'?"

Takuma snorts, but holds out his pinkie finger anyway, "Precisely," he hooks it with Gadhavi's, "It's high time we stopped ignoring each other for our own comfort and accept that this world is big enough to fit everyone."

"If you manage to get everyone to sit in a circle making friendship-bracelets at the end of this, I'll shave my face bare."

"I'll take that wager," Takuma accepts, shaking their linked pinkies to bind the deal. "I'll even have them hugging."

"I hope you do, sir. I have a rather weak chin I'm not too proud of."

"Do you doubt me, Gadhavi?"

"Not at all. It's the politics I don't trust, and the public. I have faith in your abilities, but I am no expert in making predictions based on anything regarding the law."

"Neither am I," Takuma grins, tugging him along by the elbow. "All we can do is try, and hope for the best. Things have to change, and this time… for the better."

"I do admire your optimism — hold on, before you go, have you put enough sunscreen on?"

"Ugh. Yes," he rolls his eyes, but lets the doctor move him about, checking his hands and face for adequate coverage. "It's SPF factor a-million. Seriously. My pores will never absorb another drop of sunlight again, so long as I live."

"You're funny," Gadhavi grumbles, but seems to be satisfied after one last check.

"We're going to be late."

"You're going to be late," the doctor corrects, but lets him go. They continue walking in comfortable silence, Takuma's mind running a mile a minute, contrary to his seemingly calm, composed exterior. Despite all he has talked about with Gadhavi and the confidence his faith gave him, he's nervous about facing a bunch of people who are likely to be far less receptive to his ideas. He's already caused enough uproar with the news about Shiki and Isaya, but this time he's planning to using the publicity from these previous scandals to drive this thing along whilst at the same time drawing attention away from Kaname and the others.

If he can get this done and things settle down (hopefully soon), then hopefully Shiki will also be able to return to a public life soon, and in relative safety. The doctors agreed that it was important he didn't become a recluse simply to avoid being in a volatile environment. The last thing he needed in his weakened state was to feel trapped, they said, and Takuma agreed, but civil unrest wouldn't do him any good either. Takuma knows the gardens won't be enough outdoors for Shiki soon enough, and he'll feel suffocated soon if he isn't around people. He wishes that weren't the case so he could keep him safe at the Manor, but Shiki's happiness matters more to him than his own comfort.

"Call me if he wakes up," he says, clapping Gadhavi on the arm as they approach the front door where the car is waiting, but then Gadhavi stops him.

"I want you to know I've got every confidence that you'll succeed in winning over the Humans, but as for the second part of the plan... I would advise against it."

Takuma frowns. He knew this was coming up. The second leg of the plan will be even more controversial than 'making nice with the Humans', but he had hoped Gadhavi would see that it was just as important to their progress as everything else.

"Punishing the Council is one thing, banding with us Humans is another, but you have to consider that these are already big steps to take towards the end goal. It may not seem like much, but change requires time. People can only take so much before they retaliate. I fear that if you push things too far, they may backfire."

Takuma shakes him off, mouth twisting as he fights the urge to throw him down.

"We don't have time to be gentle or slow. This has to happen now," he snaps, relishing the spike in Gadhavi's pulse. Immediately he regrets lashing out, and stamps his temper out, but he cannot quite manage to meet Gadhavi's eyes. He knows what Gadhavi is saying is true, but they are on a very literal deadline right now, what with Zero's baby nearing its due-date... the world is about to be split open. There's no time to waste on letting people adjust. "I have to do this. This needs to be put to rest."

Kaname needs me to do this, he thinks privately. He'd want me to.

"But from what Mullane told me, you Vampires are old-fashioned in your ways," Gadhavi says, not a hint of fear in him. It gives Takuma pause. The thinly veiled insult isn't meant unkindly, but as a warning. He's trying to nudge Takuma towards something he's not quite able to grasp. Something sensitive that he's trying not to say.

"In what ways?" he asks cautiously.

There's something about the glint in Gadhavi's eyes that tells him he's speaking from experience, and he's stuck in some moral dilemma that is making him hesitate to own up to his own past.

"In that you worship your Kings like gods."

He wasn't expecting that, and it strikes an honest kind of fear in him — one which makes his soul tremble, like he's revealed a terrible secret he wasn't ever meant to share. Like gods, Gadhavi says. It's a grave exaggeration, granted it's not totally without reason. Takuma has seen Kaname at his most powerful before. He's seen the way his entire body fills with an ancient darkness and rage clouds his vision like smoke. He's more like a force of nature in those moments than a god. Not something holy, but vicious and cold. At his peak, Kaname is unstoppable. It should terrify Takuma — in fact it has, many times before, but he refuses to let it change how he treats Kaname. It's something he promised Kaname when they were little — that he'd never treat him like he's something to be feared.

"He's not a god," he hears himself say. How can Kaname be a god when he is his brother?

"How can you be so sure?" Gadhavi's words pour into him, forcing him to doubt himself. "He cannot be killed, he cannot die of old age, the things I've heard he's capable of are far beyond what should be possible. Where do you draw the line?" The old doctor wipes his glasses on his sleeve, his eyes surprisingly soft once bared to Takuma. "I know he's your friend, but can you really trust him after all he's done to you? What you told me he did," he adds, eyes darting cautiously to the driver waiting in the car, "Makes me wonder."

Takuma frowns, "That's exactly the reason why I have to do this. I'm taking power away from him, not giving him more of it, so what is your point?"

"You're right, I'm getting off topic — my point isn't whether he's a god or not, it's that as far as you Vampires are concerned, he's god-like enough. Taking command of the Council and making all these legal changes is one thing, but taking power from a god is a sin." The doctor freezes like a deer in headlights. "If your Royalty are like divinity, then you'll be damning an entire religion if you make God redundant. That's a dangerous move, Ichijou. People don't like being told what to do, but they like even less being told what to believe."

"I'm not telling them what to believe. They can believe what they want. This is entirely about legal power. The throne is gathering dust, and no one is happy about him being absent for so long. It's time to cut our losses — "

"By taking his place?"

"I'm not trying to take his place!"

"Essentially you are, and in their eyes you are. The legal part isn't the issue here — by challenging their 'god' and telling them the reason you're doing this is because you believe that Kuran isn't good enough to rule, you're insulting every Vampire who's ever believed in him. Even if I'm taking this way out of context, comparing it to religion and god, Mullane told me that you Vampires are protective of your Purebloods and divided by your allegiances to the monarchy or the Council, so this could be perceived as you officially going against your King."

"I'm not trying to start some sort of an uprising — "

"No, what you're trying to do is start a revolution." Gadhavi looks grave, but resolute. Takuma is lost for words — he had no idea his plan would lead to this, but he's right. This is a revolution, and he's the one leading it.

"Fuck me," he mumbles, struggling to believe that this is happening. This means he's a traitor to the King, but does that make him a traitor to Kaname as well? No, a little voice whispers inside him. He knows Kaname trusts him to have his best interests at heart. This is what Kaname would want. He never wanted to be King. "And you're saying the people won't like it, that it'll create even more trouble than what we're already dealing with — "

"I'm telling you it will," the doctor insists, "Things are so tense already, this is all things need to escalate into full-blown warfare. You told me we are already at war, but what you're referring to are the scuffles between the Humans and the Vampires. Those will be nothing compared to what this could become. Violence begets violence, so while you might be trying to forge an alliance between Humans and Vampires, it will all be for naught if war breaks out and the Humans are caught in the middle. It doesn't matter if they understand the reason, they will join in the fight, driven by fear and confusion. Is that what you want? Is that what we need right now? If peace is what you're after, I'm telling you: this is not the way."

"Peace," Takuma whispers, and when he closes his eyes he sees the battlefield on the Academy grounds. Torn bodies strewn over the grass, agonised screams and the putrid smell of fresh-spilt blood. That was only after one day of fighting. The 'war' was ridiculously short, but as with any Vampire war, that only meant the fighting was more bloody and vicious to end it so soon. The scale of that compared to what this could snowball into doesn't bear thinking about.

"Yes," Gadhavi says, his face drawn. What is he thinking about? What war is he thinking of? "A war of many parts: religion, politics, race, vengeance and fear." He shakes his his head, "There will be no one left alive by the end of it."

Takuma lets out a shaky breath.

He knows Gadhavi is right, but at the same time — "If we choose to believe that war is the only possible outcome of this then it will be, and we will have lost before we've even begun. I can't think like that, Gadhavi. I need to believe that... that they'll see things my way. The old ways aren't working for us anymore. We need closure. It's time to let go of the past, and he is the past. We need to move forwards if we are to survive."

"You will tell them this," Gadhavi says sharply, "Exactly in those words," suddenly reminding Takuma that all of this is his rehearsal. He'd asked Gadhavi to help him prepare earlier on, asking him to provoke him, push him, and poke at every weakness he has. If he's to hold up against people who do not want to listen, he has to give them a reason to. He has to be able to answer every question they ask him with total conviction. He has to stay level-headed and prove to them that his way will work.

Admittedly he'd thought their practice-run had ended when they left his room, and that this was all idle chatter they'd been keeping up to calm his nerves, but apparently not. Apparently the good doctor wanted to shake him to his very core, to ensure that anything the public throws at him next will hold a candle to how raw he feels right now. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Takuma thinks faintly. He's grateful for Gadhavi's dedication to preparing him properly, but he feels like he's been completely torn open by a truth he wasn't even aware he was hiding. It was good of the doctor to let him be made aware of it in the safety of his own home, but now... now he's suddenly scared to leave it.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Or am I making a big mistake?"

He curses the vulnerability in his voice, knowing Gadhavi is going to chide him for it. There's a long pause where he waits, but the scolding never comes. Instead, an increasingly familiar hand drops on his shoulder, and Gadhavi is smiling at him like he's said something wonderful.

"You won't know anything unless you try. And being scared of something this big isn't foolish. In fact I'd say it shows you're fully aware of the risks you're taking, and that's highly advisable, sir, given how high the stakes are should you fail."

"Well that's comforting."

"Showing vulnerability is a good thing. It makes you more approachable. More likeable and trustworthy." Gadhavi's moustache twitches, "It'll go down especially well with us Humans in making you seem more like one of us."

Takuma wrinkles his nose, eliciting a low chuckle.

"So, what will you say next?" Gadhavi prompts. Takuma blinks. "About Kuran, and you taking the throne from him?"

Takuma sucks in a deep breath. "I'll say that... the people need to accept that crowning Kaname was a mistake."

"A mistake?" Gadhavi prods, taking a step back in mock-surprise. Takuma swallows and wets his lips as he thinks over The Reason, the stakes, and all the eyes that will be on him as he says this — "Careful," Gadhavi mutters when he sees Takuma waver.

He straightens his back.

"Kaname inherited the throne as his birthright. It was not by his choice nor ours to crown him. He's been taught how to rule competently since childhood, but since then he's neglected the throne and his people. This isn't acceptable, it's not enough, it's... it's time we put an end to it."

For a long moment, Takuma can't breathe.

Then Gadhavi nods, and brushes some invisible lint off his arm. "So it's time for…"

"Change," Takuma blurts. His mind screams revolution, but he can't say it aloud. Even this poor substitution tastes bitter on his tongue. "Time for change."

The doctor sighs, and knocks Takuma's chin up. "Good," he says, instilling some desperately needed courage in Takuma when he smiles at him. "You're ready."

"Ready as I'll ever be."

He slides into the back of the car, immediately pushing the buttons that will section off the back. He rolls down the window to keep Gadhavi in view, panic rising in his throat. Gadhavi creaks as he bends over to rest his arms on the window edge, and Takuma reaches for him — suddenly filled with dread. He's never wanted to have his parents with him as much as he does in this moment.

Gadhavi hesitates, and he must see something in Takuma's face because the next thing he knows, he's pulling out his phone. He taps something into it and twists to look up at the Manor.

"What is it?" Takuma leans his head out, just in time to catch a flicker of movement in his bedroom window, and then Mullane pulls back the curtains and waves to them from above. Gadhavi waves back, and then opens the door, forcing Takuma to slide back to make room for him.

Something warm settles in Takuma as Gadhavi buckles himself in. After a moment, he realises that it is relief. Shiki will be alright, even with only Mullane watching over him. He'll be sleeping. He'll be safe. The doctor glances up at him with a small smile and pats him on the shoulder, the comfort seeping into Takuma from that short contact enough to make him sigh.

"Okay then," Gadhavi says, "Let's go put this god to rest."