XXV
…
Cinna gives me a small smile. The smile is like the one he gave me during our first interaction, the one that spread across his lips before my opening ceremony when he had told me it was his job to make me the audience recognize me in the arena, remember who I was. "Bet you didn't think you'd be back here to quickly?"
And I can't help, but smile back, appreciate his sense of humor in a time like this. He was always one that knew how to handle situation best. I shake my head though, answering his question. I don't think anyone thought they would see me back here; I want to tell him, but decide against it.
He nods. "Me either."
He pulls my hair away from out of my face, examining the damage Flavius, Venia, and Octavia had done. And even though they had spent hours waxing and polishing and trimming and clipping and washing and filing and anything and everything possible to bring me up to Capitol standards, they had barely changed my appearance from the one I wore during my Victor Tour. I was still the perfect image of a Capitol puppet, the Girl on Fire.
He looks at me through the reflection of the mirror, swallowing. "Can I ask was ultimatum he gave you?"
"Do what he says for there might be another mine explosion." I tell him too casually for my own liking, as if I wasn't the girl who sat with Gale when he would rant hours upon hours about the horrors of the Capitol or the girl that took her sisters place in the Game, killing more than enough. "A mine explosion. Hundreds may- would die. He'd be sure to make sure Gale would die and - and if Gale were to die, so would the rest of them, Rory and Vick and Posy and Hazel, they would all die."
He shakes his head in understanding. "But what are you doing exactly, here in the Capitol? What is he making you do? He never told me why you were here in the Capitol or what I am to prep you for."
I look done at my hands, ashamed. I'm not ashamed of myself really, no, but ashamed that a person like Cinna could, would interact with and be so kind and caring toward a person - a person of my - my standing.
"He gave me two options."
"What were they," he presses, "What options did Snow offer you?"
"Marry him or go into the people person business."
He processes my 'people person business' remark over in his head until he looks at me, actually looks at me and not through the reflection of the mirror in front of us. "He gave you the option of either marrying him or going into prostitution?"
I nod.
"Either way he had full control," he tells himself aloud.
I nod. That's the point, control and restraint what's what he need over us, me to keep his precious empire intact and under his thumb.
And he shakes his head, in disappointment and anger and all emotions of dislike.
I nod, again, this time to myself as a sort of reassurance. "I have a lunch appointment at noon with Finnick Odair at some sky high, fancy ass Capitol bistro to talk about the rope and ways of the business, that's why am here, that is what you are to prep me for."
Cinna says no more, giving me a short nod of his head before getting himself to work.
…
"Want a sugar cube?" Finnick ask after the owner of the bistro leaves our table, so it's just the two of us. "They're just meant for show, decoration as it would be in the Capitol unlike in the districts where they're a rarity."
I smile a little, shaking my head.
"Well, unlike the Capitol, whereas you and I . . . well, if we see something sweet we better grab it quick. I mean, who knows what will happen next for us, all we know is tomorrow we could be thrown into the Quarter Quell or some other hell for the matter."
"Finn." I tell him, reminding him to watch his tongue.
"I mean, look at you." He continues away, overlooking my warning. "You've completely changed since our first and last encounter no less than a week ago. You're absolutely terrifying me in that get-up." He motions to the skin-tight, leather dress that barely covered my butt, but gladly stretched down to my knuckles. "What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses, Ms. Everdeen?"
I roll my eyes. "I outgrew them."
He smirks, shaking his head.
"I was given an ultimatum."
"Just like the rest of us." He smirks. "How bad was yours?"
"Marry him or go into the people person business."
He nods his head. "Well, I suppose I know which one you choose seeing you here today."
"I got to be ready within a week," I tell him.
"When does the auction begin?" He asks, not making eye contact with me.
"Within two weeks at the most," I tell him, "He didn't give me much to go on."
Finn snorts. "He never does."
There's a moment of silence that follows. A young, Axon girl comes over with tea for both of us and menus. Either of say thank you, but nod our heads in appreciation as we know any other such gesture could set us up and give Snow a reason to punish us for kindly recognizing, associating ourselves with an Axon.
It isn't till after the Axon girl leaves Finn continued our conversation. "I thought I told in 4 to be careful."
I look at him as if I had just been slapped across the face. "I have been careful, so careful that when playing my role to a key that I somehow have sparked a rebellion within the districts. I've done exactly what I have been told, spoken their words and moved to their command. I haven't done anything wrong, nothing… and that, not do any wrong is what is wrong, is what has gotten me here, in this position."
He shakes his head before drifting away from the topic. "You'll have to make a number appearance throughout the week, shops, restaurant, clubs. You'll have to put yourself out there and dress the role. You'll have to market yourself, make yourself seem not as if they need you, but you need them."
I nod. "But, ah, what about the other part of it?"
He lets out a heavy and uneasy breath, leaning back in his chair and running his hand through his hair. "That's where I suppose I will come in."
…
Stepping onto the elevator, I more than gladly slip my feet from the high heels Cinna sadly insisted I had to wear. After the heels, I begin to rub the palms of my hands along my arms and across the top of my chest, doing my best to wipe away the small, shiny, flimsy material that flew through the air at the Capitol club I had come from and stuck to my skin.
By the time the elevators doors open the same amount of sparkles remain if not even more.
I make my way into the penthouse, immediately heading to my room. Not a second is wasted as I strip out of the too skimpy, tight clothing and the too extravagant jewelry. And when all was gone and done I escaped into the bathroom. I sat there in the corner of the shower, the boiling water raining down on me, cleansing me of the night.
Nothing too horrid had happened yet the entire scene was too repulsive to me. Men and women dressed in the brightest and most colorful clothing, skin tainted and bodies no doubt manufactured to their desire. Crystals hung from the ceiling and the finest materials covered the furniture. The varieties of foods and drinks were endless. And everyone there was delighted; smiles plastered on their faces, uncaring or unaware about how horrid their lavish lifestyles were, how if ever placed in one of the twelve districts they would not survive a day.
I did my best to keep the furthest distance I could even knowing Snow was watching.
Yet, I did make sure to fit in with the environment. I emptily threw back drinks and unwillingly sampled over sweetened foods. I allowed those to who recognized and came to make me aware of it, waving their hands in excitement and blabbering away. I let those who I had sadly been unable to escape their presence to wrap their arms around my shoulders or waist and whisper in my ear and even kiss my cheek, doing my best to keep the veil in the pits of my stomach and my survival instincts from taking over.
I played my role as the Girl of Fire, Snow's puppet, the newest sex symbol of the Capitol.
At some point the water no longer burns against my skin even though still just as hot and my skin is pruned worse the over-dried berries Hazel would make when winter was approaching.
Not long after the realization of my newly found, pruned skin. I shut the water off and scamper back into my room, changing into one of the many oversized sweaters that stopped barely above my knees Cinna had stocked the closet in, knowing my much appreciation for them, and a pair of soft pants that clutched my legs. I braided my hair over my shoulder.
Like my time moments ago when hazed out in the shower, I don't know how it came to be, but when I came to my senses, I was on top of the tribute building. I was stories high up upon the building's rooftop, my toes dangling over the edge.
My toes dangling over the edge and the entire Capitol laid out before me like a map.
My toes dangling over the edge, the colors and lights bursting before me.
My toes dangling over the edge and the wind against my back slightly pushing.
My toes dangling over the edge, the downfall of the nation before me.
My toes dangling over the edge and the power stemming from the bottom up within.
My toes dangling over the edge…