Yes, it's been eighty four years since I last updated, but what else is new? Sorry guys! School's been pretty rough lately but I'm almost through and then I'll be free to write all day long. Also, taking in consideration that I have my first math final tomorrow and the rest of my finals next week, I'm most likely not even going to start the next chapter until after I finish school (the 29th if this month), so the next chapter might take just a tad longer than usual.

Note: Special thanks to my amazing new beta, Sarah, for this chapter! She's been extremely patient with me and is just awesome overall. So enjoy!

I sighed again as my shoes crunched against the gravel. When did I even let Sam start talking me into doing these things?

"You have to tell him, Ashley."

I nervously ran a hand through my hair as Sam's words kept replaying in my head. He was right, of course– but man, did I really not want to do this. What was I even going to tell Dean? Hey I know we haven't talked in three days but surprise, I'm pregnant! Even if he wasn't mad he wouldn't want to stick around anyways. My stomach churned uneasily at the thought and I pushed it to the back of my mind and kept walking.

It was still dark outside as the sun wouldn't rise for another couple hours, though my eyes had adjusted and I could see fairly well. The only illumination was the faint moonlight and the yellow light that flooded out from the garage, with Dean's shadow gliding across it every now and then. I wrapped my arms tighter around myself as a gust of icy wind passed around me, sending a chill down my spine. Per Sam's request, I had gone to get my shoes and traded my hoodie and shorts for a pair of Dean's sweatpants and shirt (seeing as how I didn't have that many clothes), which were clearly not warm enough. My hair was in a poor excuse of a ponytail and I didn't need a mirror to know that I looked like shit.

As I approached the garage, my heartbeat speed up and I could feel the blood pounding in my ears. It was stupid. I shouldn't be this nervous to do something as simple as talk to Dean. I took a deep breathe to attempt to calm myself down and I stepped into the yellow light.

He was lying down on the floor, the upper half of his body concealed by the shiny black impala. I walked over and stopped a few feet away from him, twisting the hem of the shirt nervously. He didn't move, apart from what he was doing, nor did he do anything to acknowledge my presence. I cleared my throat loudly, "H-Hey."

Nothing.

"Can we, um… Can we talk?"

Dead silence.

"Dean," I kicked his foot with annoyance, "I know you can hear me." I heard him sigh dramatically and the loud clatter of tools as he dropped them carelessly and rolled out from under the car. His face, and any exposed skin for that matter, was smeared with mechanical grease and grime as he glared up at me. His eyes were irritated and bloodshot with dark bags indicating he hadn't slept in a while– it was like looking into a mirror.

"Sorry," he spat, "Are you done talking with my brother? Did you decide to just stop by while you're at it?"

"What are you talking about?"

He got up off the ground, his eyes suddenly lit with fire, "I bet he told you to come out here, didn't he?"

"At least I'm here! At least I haven't been hiding in the garage this whole time!"

"Oh yeah, everything's always my fault– isn't it?!"

"Why do you always have to be such an asshole about everything?! Why can't you just learn to get over things like your brother!?"

"Why don't you go run back to Sam if you love him so much!?"

"Yeah, clearly I love him, that's why I'm pregnant with your baby!"

His expression softened from anger to confusion, "You're what?" Reality finally caught up to me as I realized what I just said. Shit. He wasn't supposed to find out like this.

"Ashley," his voice wavered, "Tell me what's going on."

He wasn't supposed to find out like this.

This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to make up first. We were supposed to be happy before I told him and everything fell apart again. I was supposed to tell him I loved him before he undoubtedly left.

I didn't care that tears stared to prick behind my eyes. I didn't care when they started to stream down my face. It was already over anyways. It was a miracle that he didn't leave when he fell in love with me. I wasn't going to get another miracle by having him stay when I was pregnant. The universe is rarely so forgiving.

"Ashley!" I felt a rough hand grab my wrist and I finally looked up at him, defeated. I met his wide eyes as they frantically searched mine, "Are you..?" I felt my bottom lip start to tremble and I knew the tiredness and stress had finally taken its toll on me as I sobbed, "I d-don't know, Dean. I th-think so, but just d-d-don't know."

"Angel," he begged and I opened my eyes to see his torn expression, "I'm dirty as hell, baby, I can't hug you right now." I stared at him for a second; somehow quieting myself to whimpers– and then I started sobbing even harder than before as I sank down against the side of the impala.

I just told him I was pregnant, after everything else. After I had told him that he was a vessel. After I told him he started the apocalypse by breaking the seal. After I was being such a bitch to him. I told him I was pregnant and he had to know that we were in even bigger trouble now, and the first thing he does is apologize because he's too dirty to hug me. There was no way I would ever be able to deserve this man.

Dean walked over and crouched down in front of me, concern now playing across his face, "Angel, it's okay." He reached out his hand and gently stroked his thumb across my cheek. Without even thinking, I lunged at him and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. He fell back on his ass with a grunt but hugged me back all the same.

"D-Dean, I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry. I should have t-told you sooner. P-Please, I'm so sorry. And now I'm p-p-pregnant and this whole thing is a f-fucking mess. I'm s-sorry." He rubbed my back soothingly as I whimpered against his neck. "When was the last time you slept?" he murmured softly, his lips grazing my ear.

"The l-last time I fell asleep next to y-you," I cried as I tried to pull myself closer to him. He hugged me tighter as his strong arms wrapped around my back, "Shhh, let's fix that, alright?"

We stayed like that for a while. Dean slowly started to trail his fingers over my back and down my spine as he hummed softly. The calming motion of his hands and the gentle vibrations in his chest soon became too much as my eyes slid shut without much effort.

"C'mon, baby," I felt a hand slide across my back, "You have to get up so we can go to bed." I groaned tiredly and nuzzled against his neck. It wasn't even that I was extremely tired– just the idea of moving away from him did very much not sound appealing right now. "Just stand up then, okay?"

Reluctantly, I crawled off of him and stood with my hip leaning against the side of the car. I ran a hand through my hair and yawned as Dean slowly stood up, stretching out his legs and back. As I was overcome with another wave of sleepiness, I shuffled forward and dropped my head against his back and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He chuckled softly and I smiled at the noise. "I missed you, y'know," I mumbled quietly.

"I know," he turned and leaned down to gently scoop me up in his arms, "I missed you, too." I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my head rest on his shoulder as he started walking back towards the house. He glanced down and caught me staring at him, his lips curling into a small smile, "What?"

"You really are filthy," I wrinkled my nose in fake disgust as I noticed how dirty his face was.

"I tried to warn you," he grinned, "You're not lookin too good either." I looked at my arms and saw the smudges of grease where they had been around his neck and I figured my face was probably the same. I yawned deeply and nuzzled against his shoulder as I closed my eyes again.

"Angel," I heard a soft whisper, "Last time I'll wake you up– I promise." I lifted my head and strained to open my eyes against the bright light, "Hmm?"

"Hey, sleepyhead," he grinned and suddenly I didn't feel so bad anymore. He set me down on the counter of the bathroom and shuffled around as I blinked my eyes open. He took my arm and started wiping away the grease with a washcloth. I watched as he moved to the other arm, his brows knit together with concentration. A pair of green eyes met my gaze and he flashed a small smile. "You okay?" he asked as he rinsed the cloth in the sink. I nodded and gave what must have been a very unconvincing smile judging by his sigh. He moved back in front of me, one hand cradling my face while the other rubbed my face with the washcloth. Normally I would have felt intimidated– or at the very least, embarrassed– but after everything that had happened, it was comforting to let someone else take care of me for once.

"Alright, what's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?"

"I did. Now, c'mon," he rested his hands on top of my thighs as he stepped between my legs, "Talk to me." I flicked my eyes down to my hands in my lap out of habit, my voice barely a whisper, "What are we going to do, Dean?"

He was quiet for a moment and he looked down before reaching to grab my hands, "I'm going to take a shower and clean all this crap off me. Then we're gonna go to bed and sleep and forget about everything until we wake up, alright?" He tilted my chin up to look him in the eye, "We'll figure it out when we wake up, okay? I promise, Angel, it's gonna be fine."

"Why aren't you mad?" I searched his eyes helplessly. He cocked his head slightly, confused, "Why would I be mad at you, babe?"

"I don't know, because I'm pregnant?" I could feel tears already sliding down my cheeks and I mentally kicked myself, "Because I ruined everything? Because I'm putting everyone here in danger already and now we're having a baby?"

"Hey-hey-hey, I'm not mad at you, Angel." He hesitated for a moment, and then decided against it as he hugged me tightly– no doubt getting us both dirty again. I felt his lips press against my temple as he whispered softly, "I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared or nervous, but I'm not mad at you. I would never be mad at you about this, Ashley. If anything it was my fault, okay? I promise you we're going to figure this out. I love you so much, Angel."

A thousand things I could have said raced through my mind at once. But instead I just grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and used it to pull myself closer to him as my body went numb. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up against his warm body and sleep for a week.

"Do you want me to just come with you to bed now?" his deep voice rumbled all the way down through his chest in an almost soothing manner, "Do you still want me, dirt and all?" I lifted one of my hands to run it up the back of his neck and through his hair, "Always."

O.o

I let out a groan as I struggled to open my eyes against the blinding light. Another groan rumbled through my throat as I stretched my arms and legs as far as they would go. Before my eyes could adjust, I felt something around my waist and I was suddenly pressed up against something warm as I instinctively yelped.

Dean barked out a laugh and I shoved his chest lightly, "Asshole!"

"Good morning, sunshine," he grinned happily. I grinned back as I leaned forward and kissed him softly, his lips melting against mine. He tangled a hand in my hair as he nibbled on my bottom lip hungrily. I gladly opened my mouth, moaning quietly as he slowly moved his tongue with mine.

He pulled away lazily with a lopsided grin as he looked at me. His eyes were a sleepy green color with slightly blown pupils. His dirty blond hair was completely ruffled and messy. He had stubble across his jawline from the past few days, only adding to his look. And damn, did he look fucking hot.

"See somethin' you like?"

"More like something I love," I smiled as his fingers brushed over my cheek, "How long have you been up?"

"Not long, just a few minutes." He trailed his finger lightly down my neck and collarbone before leaning in and kissing my forehead. I felt his arms wrap around my waist as his lips grazed the outside of my ear. "I've missed this," he whispered softly, "I've missed you." I nuzzled against his neck, "I've missed you, too."

"I know it was only a few days but it felt like years, Angel. I never want to do it again. I just... I mean... We're like– we have... Fuck. I don't know what I'm saying. It's just like we have this- this thing between us, okay? And- and I know I'm not good with words but you and I, we just... It hurt to be without you, baby. God, it hurt so damned much. It was an ache in my chest that wouldn't go away... and I just missed you so fucking much."

He had moved his head back so our foreheads were touching and his beautiful green eyes bore into mine. Despite everything that we had been through– everything that we had done– this was the closest to Dean that I had ever felt. Maybe that was what it was. We weren't soul mates– we were one soul, split in two. I was him and he was me, and together we were whole.

I dropped my hand against his chest, sliding it over his steadily beating heart as I whispered softly, "I know what you mean. Everything hurt while you were gone and I missed you so, so much."

"I know, but we're back now," he dropped one of his hands to smooth over my belly, "All of us."

"Dean–" I pushed his hand away as I leaned back. I didn't want this. At least, not now. Not with the apocalypse and everything that was happening. He didn't deserve that.

"Angel–"

"No, Dean. We can't do this. I can't do this. I mean, if I even am... What would we do? We're dealing with angels and demons and the fucking Devil himself. We can't bring a kid into this, Dean. We can't." He got up one one elbow, so he was hovering above me slightly. A pair of green eyes searched mine before he leaned down and kissed me softly.

"I know it's gonna be hard, but this," he rubbed my belly again, "We did this, Angel. And I know that we might not even have a little guy in here– but if we do, I promise we'll make it work."

He slid down in the bed, his hands lifting up my shirt to expose my stomach. I felt him leave a trail of gentle kisses down my stomach as he made a pleased humming noise in the back of his throat. He met my gaze and gave a warm smile before pressing his lips back against my skin. "Hey, honey," he whispered quietly, "I don't know if you're in there, but we're gonna take good care of you." I ran a hand through his short hair and I felt his lips curl up against my belly, "Now you're mom, she's scared... And I am, too, but I'm gonna protect you two, alright? I'm gonna keep you both safe so we can be a family. I'm gonna protect you and Mommy from all the monsters, sound good?"

"Sounds good." His eyes flicked up to mine and his cheeks reddened slightly, but he grinned all the same. He shifted back up next to me, "So what do you think? You wanna do this?"

I looked into his eyes, shining with excitement and happiness and nervousness all at once. How could I say no? He was right, it wouldn't be easy but maybe, just maybe, we could do it. "Yeah," I smiled, "Let's do it, Dean."

Yet as I said those words, I felt a tug in my gut that something just wasn't right.