My Regret
Chapter 24
A mother's love. It's like the warmest blanket in the world, something you should treasure. Never hold a grudge against her. You'll regret everything the day you see her coffin lowered into the ground.
"Very good job, Rivai-Chan. You're learning how to walk so easily. My, such a smart boy I have." Kuchel picked up the giggling little raven, cradling him in her arms.
Levi giggled happily as he held onto his mother's shirt. This little raven had a very loving and young mother by the name of Kuchel. The woman dedicated her whole life to her son, always playing with him, calling him her little raven, making the child laugh adorably.
His father on the other hand, was an absent figure in his life. The man much rather preferred to be at the office then with the two people who mattered most in the world. He stayed there longer because his and Kuchel's marriage was practically over. The two argued more and hurtful words were exchanged. They mainly argued when their child was sleeping or over at his uncle Kenny's house.
The small raven glanced up as he felt a tiny splash of water hit his cheek. His mother was crying as she held him to her chest.
Reaching up, Levi placed a small hand on her cheek, "Mama no cwy."
Kuchel held the boy tightly, quietly sobbing.
Levi, now four years old, was confused as to why there were so many boxes in the house with things in them. He asked his mother if something important was going on, and she simply said to not worry about it. Nothing would be changing.
The boy went outside and saw his father putting boxes in the truck. He walked over and tugged on his father's jacket, "Daddy."
Vincent glanced down at the small boy, "Yes?"
"Why are you putting things in the big twuck?"
"Because daddy is taking his things to his home."
"But, doesn't daddy live here with me and mommy?"
The man knelt down in front of the boy, "Daddy and Mommy...we...we think it might be for the best."
"Why?"
"You'll understand when you're older, Levi." Vincent stood back up, "Now go on inside with mommy."
Levi went inside and sat by the window in the living room. When his father was all done putting the boxes in the big truck, his mommy cried alone in her room, and his daddy didn't wave back when he left. But, daddy always waved to him when he left somewhere.
As the days rolled on, Levi would sit by the window in the living room everyday. He would skip nap time because he thought his daddy would come home and see him. But daddy never did.
Uncle Kenny came over a lot after that. He always came to play with Levi and talk with mommy.
When Levi asked his uncle why daddy didn't come home, his uncle got very quiet.
"Papa Kenny, why isn't daddy back yet? He promised me he would show me how to play the piano."
"Because kid, look, I know Kuchel wouldn't want me to tell you in my own way, but..." His voice faded for a couple minutes, "Your dad isn't coming back because he and your mom don't like each other anymore. This has nothing to do with you. You're a good kid, Levi."
And gods, did Levi cry. He held onto his papa Kenny the entire time he did. His mother would often have Levi sleep in her room at night because the boy thought his mommy would leave to and never come back.
Levi never saw his father anymore after that day...
...Nor did he learn how to play the piano.
"Hey, papa Kenny?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"When is mommy coming home from work?" Tonight was one of those nights where mommy would work late and he and papa Kenny would stay up late to wait for her, only if it was a weekend of course.
"Not until another three hours kid."
Levi sighed softly, "I wish mommy didn't have to work so much."
"I know, kid. But when you're a single parent, you have to do a lot of shit to keep a roof over your heads."
"But uncle Kenny, why doesn't mommy accept your help?"
"Because kid, she wants to do everything on her own and prove that she can alone. Kuchel is a strong woman and mother, don't you forget that, alright, kid?"
"Okay uncle Kenny."
The two fell asleep some time later, the television off and only a small lamp on.
Kuchel walked in two hours later, smiling softly as she saw Levi and Kenny asleep. She picked up a small piece of paper off the floor by the boy's small hand.
Mommy,
Sorry Uncle Kenny and I couldn't stay up, we were really tired because uncle took me to the park today. I know you had to work today mommy, so I asked uncle to take me instead. Uncle and I made dinner and he said it was really yummy! We left you some in the oven. I hope you like it mommy.
Rivai-Chan.
The woman smiled at her sleeping brother and son. She leaned down and softly kissed the raven's forehead, "Mama hopes you had fun, my little blue rose." She murmured to him softly as to not disturb his sleep.
"And what the hell made you think it would be a good idea to urinate our window with Levi, Kenny?"
The man shrugged, "The kid and I were bored, what else could I do?"
"I don't know, take him to a park?"
"The kid would get bored fast."
"So the next best thing was to piss out my living room window? And still somehow loose to a nine year old?"
"Hey, shorty cheated. He had something to drink and I didn't."
"Kenny, your dick is smaller than my son's. Let that sink in for a minute." The woman tried to hard not to laugh as her brother paled.
"Shut up, Kuchel." The man grumbled.
Kuchel grinned, "Sure thing tiny dick." She went into the kitchen where her son was doing his homework. She sat down next to him, "Now Levi, what did we learn today?"
The raven looked at his mother, "Not to pee out the living room window."
"Yes, and?"
"Uncle Kenny is smaller than a nine year old."
"The both of you go to hell!"
Levi's birthday, in a way, was always very simple, and meaningful to him. His mother would make a small meal for him, herself and Uncle Kenny. His mother was always allowed to have the day off, both because it was Christmas and her only son's birthday.
When his mother asked him what he wanted this year, he wanted to go with something simple; there was only so much that his mother could afford after all. So he asked for a book he really wanted. They had it at his school and every time he wanted to read it, someone else already had it. With his own copy, he could read it at home and at school.
"A book? Is that all you want, Rivai-Chan?"
"Yes, mommy."
Kuchel nodded, "Okay, I'll send your Uncle Kenny to get it for me while I make dinner." Calling for the older man to go get it, he left grumbling about going into the cold, only to be stopped at the door.
"Make sure that you get this book, this is all he wants this year, it would mean the world to him to have it."
"Yeah, yeah. You'd think I'd come back without what the kids wants? He's my only little nephew. You bet your ass I'll get it for him." The man left, closing the door behind him.
"Mommy? Where's Uncle Kenny?"
The woman sighed, hugging her son closer, a blanket draped over the two, and their small fireplace on. "I don't know." Kenny should have been back three hours ago. She didn't think it would be too hard to get a simple book.
"I don't think Uncle Kenny got the book."
"What makes you say that, Rivai-Chan?"
"Because Uncle Kenny takes forever to come back when he couldn't keep a promise."
"I'm sorry, Rivai-Chan."
The small raven lowered his head, "Its okay, mommy. I kind of didn't expect anything this year."
Kuchel kissed her son's forehead, "Maybe next year." Although she wasn't too sure herself about next year.
"Maybe next year." Levi whispered softly.
"Kuchel, Levi."
The two ravens were shook out of their sleep at the sound of a male's voice. It was Kenny standing over them.
"What took you so long?"
The man pulled out a neatly wrapped box, showing it to Levi, "Here, kid."
Receiving the gift his Uncle got him, Levi carefully took the wrapping paper off, only to come face to face with the book he wanted, a brand new stuffed bear, and a small black wrist watch.
"I know you only asked for the book, but since you've been a good kid, thought I'd get you more than you wanted. Happy Birthday, kid."
Levi's smiled happily, "Thank you, Uncle Kenny." He took the bear out and hugged it tightly. It was a soft brown bear with a green and red stripped bow.
The man ruffled the boy's dark hair, "Yeah, kid. You're not a complete pain in the ass."
"Why were you gone for so long?" After eating dinner, Levi fell asleep on the couch, holding his new bear tightly.
"Don't worry about it, alright? I came back and the kid has some new presents."
"Kenny, where did you get the presents? Where the hell did you even get the money? You told me you couldn't be paid until after New Years."
The man sighed, "You want the truth, fine. Truth is, I went to my boss and begged him for some money. Told him it was for my nephew's birthday and the kid wanted a book, but I wanted to get him something more. I ended up driving to a book store out of town because they didn't have any copies here. The bear I got from a coworker who overheard everything, and the wrist watch was something I got Levi months back."
Kuchel had a gentle smile on her face, "You do care."
"Of course. He's my only nephew. In a way, I think of him as my own kid. Gotta spoil the kid while he's still young."
"You claim so much to be this intimidating man, when in all reality you're a giant softy towards one little boy."
"Again, I think of him as my own kid. Vin didn't appreciate him enough, so, I feel like he needs a man he can look up to when he's still a kid. Helps em or something like that when they're teenage brats."
"You're just a giant teddy bear. Face it, Levi turned you into one."
"Maybe the brat isn't so bad."
"Alright. I've got to head off, been nice staying with you two over the holidays."
Kuchel nodded, "I hope you can stay over again sometime soon. Remember, you have to look after Levi next week."
"Yeah, I know."
"Uncle Kenny."
The man glanced down at the small boy, "Yeah?"
"Thank you for the gifts. I really liked them." He held out his arms, wanting a hug.
"Ah, what the hell?" He picked up Levi and hugged him. He wasn't a fan of hugging others, but he'd make an exception for his nephew.
Levi sat by himself in his home one night, his mother still working, and uncle Kenny hadn't been in the mood to babysit him. Something about needing to take care of some personal things, which usually resulted in something illegal. Not that he cared anyway.
The raven sighed. It was times like these he wished he had friends. He couldn't help it, he wasn't good with people, and kids didn't really seem to like him. Well, he was with something as intimidating as Kenny every time he went out, of fucking course no kid would want to get near him.
"Dad, why did you have to leave? I liked how things were." Levi would never admit this to his mother, but he sent letters to his father's work, in hopes that his father would want to talk to him. Each letter came back unopened and with a sticky note attached, telling him he had no son and didn't want some other kids things that had no relation to him.
It was well over his bedtime and yet the young boy had no desire to sleep. He was too concerned about his mother. Uncle Kenny said he would keep an eye out for his beloved mother, but there were still times where his mother would come home, a bruise on her arm, or on her face. It made the young boy seethe with anger. He wanted to help his mother, but he was too weak to do so.
Maybe one day, he would be strong enough to do so. Like his mother and his uncle Kenny. He would become strong like them.
The moment Levi's father left his life, he thought that would be it. No more father, no more talks, no more memories with him. This was something Levi had come to terms with for years, but did it lessen the fact that he despised his father? No.
Did Levi get a lot of shit because his father wasn't there? Yes. He was constantly told his father didn't want him because he probably wasn't his real son. That his mother wasn't woman enough for his father, and whatever other bullshit people spat. It didn't effect his hate towards the one man that let him down, he has his own reasons for hating him.
So when he heard the door being knocked on, he thought it was his uncle Kenny coming to look after him like his mother told him he would. When he opened it, his grey eyes widened. Years of being gone, feeling alone, feeling like he wasn't enough, it was all caused because one person couldn't accept their responsibilities. His father, Vincent Ackerman.
The man smiled down at the boy, "Hello, Levi." That smile used to be so soothing to him, now it just pissed him off to no end.
"What do you want?"
"Are you not happy to see your father?"
"No."
Vincent frowned, "Levi, son, I know I upset you by leaving."
The boy scoffed, "You did more than upset me. You left me alone."
"Levi, I didn't come here to argue with you, more so ask you a question."
"Say it and then leave."
"I want to be part of your life again, will you allow me to?"
And there is was. Sitting innocently on his father's finger, a simple golden band. "You're married."
"Yes, I am."
"Leave and never come back."
"Levi-"
"You'll cause more trouble than you already have. Leave." The raven slammed the door in his face.
That's the story behind Levi's constant scowling and glaring.
When Levi got into middle school, it was a large transition for him. There were more new faces, and the ones he was used to seeing weren't there, or they changed over the break.
The raven wasn't really paid attention to in school. Sure, people knew he was smart and knew not to fuck with him after what happened. There was some kid that bad mouthed his mother, and shit. As you can imagine, the kid got what was coming to him. No one messed with Levi in fear of that very thing happening to them. But there was one person, a female to be exact, that didn't give a shit about the reputation Levi formed for himself. Hanji Zoe.
The brunette was everywhere Levi went. Now, Levi being the person he is, would never admit it, but he did appreciate the presence of someone else with him. Hanji was a loud mouth to put it bluntly. She would come over to Levi's house uninvited, sometimes staying the night because she was too lazy to leave home, or wanted to stay home for the hell of it. You could say that she was a pain in the ass, because quite frankly, she could be. But she was also the only friend Levi had made in years, so, he tended to excuse how annoying she could be.
"Levi, did you finish your science? I can help you if you want?" The brunette nudged her friend's side.
"No. I'm working on my math."
"Are you sure you don't need help?"
"Hanji, when you start talking about science, it's hard even for me to get you to stop talking about it."
The brunette sighed dramatically, "Fine."
Both continued to study in the library for another short while, only to be interrupted. "Look, it's the shorty and the science nerd."
Levi calmly looked up at him, "Something you needed, fuck face?"
"Yeah? Is your mom still gonna be at the corner? I've needed a good lay."
The raven's eyebrow twitched dangerously.
"And what about you, science nerd?" The boy leaned over and got too close for Hanji's liking.
"You have five fucking seconds to get the fuck away from her." Levi calmly set his pencil down.
The young man scoffed, "And what are you gonna do about it?"
Now, the entire memory is still fuzzy to him, but according to Hanji, there was so much rage in his eyes, yet his face was still nonchalant.
"Levi, another fight?" His mother sighed softly, placing her hands on her hips.
"Now, now, come on, Kuchel. He was standing up for you and that glasses girl." Kenny had been trying to convince his sister that she didn't need to punish Levi as harshly as she did. And well...
She turned to him, eyes narrowed, "You should be the one telling him not to fight. Yet every time I tell him not to, you go behind my back and you tell him to keep doing that."
"What do you want me to tell the kid then? Hey, Levi, when someone talks shit about your mother and only friend, you sit there like a dumbass and listen to it. No, Kuchel. Your kid is doing the right thing for standing up for the people he gives a damn about."
Levi was sitting quietly the entire time his mother and uncle were arguing. In all reality, they both had their points. Kenny always told him to stand up for those he cared about, because they could be there one moment and gone the next. His mother also had a point. Violence would get him involved with the wrong people, and it could affect him later on in life.
Kuchel turned to her son, "And what do you have to say for yourself, Levi?"
The raven sighed, looking up at his mother, "I don't regret fighting that guy."
His mother was quiet as was his uncle, both wanting hear the young man's reasoning.
"I don't regret kicking his face in. He was talking bad about Hanji, my only friend. And he was talking horribly about you as well, mom. Uncle Kenny said to treasure those who are close to you, because who knows? They're there one minute and gone the next. I want to stand up for you and my friend. I don't care if people punch me in the face and say things about me. I'll take it all for you."
Kuchel sighed heavily, "I feel like everything I tell you about not fighting goes through one ear and comes out the other." She knelt down in front of her son, "Just be careful, okay? I couldn't stand anything happening to you."
Levi nodded, "I'll be careful, mom. I don't want to worry you."
The woman hugged her son, stroking his back soothingly. Every bruise that made it's way to her son's beautiful face hurt her in a way she couldn't describe. It was like someone was stabbing her repeatedly. Her love for her son was so immense, sometimes, when Levi got hit, she swore she felt the hit as well. She prayed nothing ever happened to her son.
After being friends with Hanji, Levi felt like he was more used to different kinds of people. What he wasn't used to, were two kids, a redhead and a blonde to start calling him big brother.
Farlan was the blonde. He was the kind of boy who was the voice of reason to help out with Levi's rash decisions. The raven liked him because he was quiet and calm.
Isabel, the redhead, was the more of the loudmouthed kid. She would constantly tell Levi about small things that she managed to accomplish, or just went to bug him until she got his attention.
Now, mind you, they weren't bad kids. Levi did really like them. They put up with his crude humor, temper and glares.
"Big brother, guess what?!" Isabel jumped in her seat on the couch.
"Stop jumping and what?"
The redhead grinned, "I got a kitten. Mommy got me one."
Farlan raised a brow, "But I thought your daddy didn't like them."
"He just said that because he was too busy with work to get me one. He actually really likes it."
They all jumped when they heard a loud clap of thunder outside.
Levi answered the phone when it rang, "Hello?"
"Rivai-Chan, it's mommy."
"Mommy, did you need something?"
"Yes, my little blue rose. It's going to be raining very hard and I unfortunately have to stay here at work until it passes. Are you alone?"
"No, Isabel and Farlan are here."
"Good. Get some snacks, blankets, pillows, and that one mattress we use and go to the basement. Make sure you take a flashlight or candles with you. Take some games so you won't be bored, make sure you also take the battery powered radio to listen. Make sure everything is locked and don't go back upstairs until the storm has passed, can you do that for mommy?"
"Yes, mommy."
"Okay, Rivai-Chan. Mommy loves you very much."
"I love you too, mommy." The boy hung up. He went and told his friends what they needed to do, immediately getting it done. They told Isabel to stay downstairs while the two boys ran and got all windows and doors locked. Levi locked the door to the basement as they went down, the redhead already making sure everything was locked down there as well.
The trio played board games, laughing and eating their snacks. The storm outside a thing of the past.
When it was time for bed, Levi and Farlan were the only two awake, Isabel the only one asleep.
"Hey, Levi?"
"Yeah?"
"You know we care about you like a big brother, right?"
"I know. I care about you two like the brother and sister I never had."
The blonde smiled, "Good."
"I'll always look after you two. You'll never have to worry with me as a big brother."
Farlan leaned against the raven's shoulder as he fell asleep. Levi looking after the two.
Levi has still kept that promise to this day after all those years ago.
There were times where Levi felt like he was weak, and there were times where he felt like he was on top of the world. There was only one time, involving one person, where he didn't give a damn if he was either.
Levi came home once again, nursing a bruised cheek and a cut lip. He was icing the bruise down with an ice pack from the freezer. There was some kid that tried to insult his mother, saying that his father only left because his mother wasn't enough, he found someone better than his used up mother, and that his mother spread her legs for anyone.
There was a lot that wasn't true, especially the last one. Levi had gotten so angry, he broke the kid's leg and arm in the process. He looked at him with cold eyes, and he didn't care that he was begging for mercy. No one insulted his mother, no one. His mother gave up so much for him, so much that no one would ever know about. Did Levi care if anyone knew how much? Not really. It was his life, only his mother, Uncle Kenny, Hanji and himself would know. No need to involve someone who didn't matter in his personal business.
Levi cursed under his breath as he was treating himself in the bathroom, being careful about the cut mainly. If his mother saw him like this…he couldn't bear to see that look on her face again. So, it looked like he was making a call to Uncle Kenny. That man for whatever reason, always knew what to do about things like this.
He picked up the house phone and dialed his Uncle's number. After a moment, the man answered. "Yeah? Need something kid?"
"Do you by any chance know how to hide bruises?"
"….What's the reason?"
"I got into a fight at school."
"God dammit, Levi. Hold on, I'll be there in twenty minutes. Get a first aid kit ready."
"Alright." He hung up and went to get what his Uncle requested.
"So, what caused you to fight at school, kid?" The man was gently dabbing some ointment on the boy's bruised cheek.
Hissing slightly at the sting, Levi looked at his Uncle straight in the eyes, "Someone was talking horrible about mother."
"Ahh, I see."
"…You aren't going to yell at me?"
Kenny sighed, lowered the cotton swab he was using, "For what? Just because you were defending someone you care about? Levi, you'll be surprised at the amount of people who don't do what you do for your mother. I know she looks mad on the surface, but, she's really touched to hear her kid sticks up for her. She's only got you and me. We've got to have her back at all times. And while I don't agree with you fighting, you do the right thing."
The raven lowered his head, "They suspended me from school."
"What kind of horse shit is that? You know what, tomorrow, I'm going with you to talk to that shitty school of yours. We've got to get shit straightened out."
"So…you aren't going to tell mom?"
"I've got to, otherwise, both are asses are going to get kicked. Don't worry, I'll take most of the hit."
"Hey, Kenny?"
"Yeah?"
"You're pretty cool."
"Is your head that far up your ass that you would suspend a kid protecting his mother?"
The principal sighed, "Sir, please refrain from using such language. And yes, although we know his heart was in the right place, he cannot use violence."
"So if someone was to stab you with a knife, you give him a flower in return. Very nice."
"Sir, we know that Levi is very fond of his mother, but violence isn't the answer."
"And what about that fucking brat that provoked my nephew?"
"He's at home, no homework until he recovers. He won't receive any harm."
That set the man off, "You're fucking tell me, that piece of shit brat got away with bad mouthing my sister? No, fuck you and this piece of shit school. Fucking doing something about it. He got his ass kicked by Levi because he couldn't fucking keep his mouth shut. Send that little prick back here and keep him the fuck away from my nephew. And I don't give a shit if the kid's injured, fucking suck it up. Now, make it so Levi can come back next week."
"B-But today's Tuesday."
"I said next week. Got it?" A creepy smile made its way to his face.
The principal nodded, "Y-Yes, sir."
Taking his nephew out of the school, Levi was oddly quiet. "Something on your mind, kid?"
"Yeah. The principal thought you were my dad."
"And? Does that bother you?"
Levi shrugged, "I don't know. I never had a dad that was around long enough to feel like I had one."
Kenny stopped, making the boy stop as well. He knelt down in front of him, placing his hands on the boy's small shoulders, "Look, I think of you as my kid. Even if I didn't want one, you're the only exception, alright?"
The boy nodded, "Alright."
Standing back up, Kenny took the boy's hand into his own, "Come on, I know Kuchel will kill me later, but let's go get some ice cream. You earned it for kicking that kid's ass."
Levi grinned, "Thanks, papa Kenny."
"Anytime, kiddo."
"Levi, I want you to hear a song."
The raven glanced up from his book, "What's that mom?"
Kuchel inserted a disk into their CD player and pressed play, sitting beside her son, "Listen carefully and close your eyes."
Levi closed his eyes as the music began playing.
The soothing piano at the beginning made all the tense feelings in the boy's shoulders disappear. It was the most soothing tune, almost as if it were bathing him in the relaxation in the music. The calming beginning, the picking up middle, and the beautiful ending. He especially loved the last notes of the piano at the end, fading away.
"That's our song, Rivai-Chan."
Levi looked up at his mother, a serene look on her face, "It is?"
"Yes, my little blue rose. This song reminds me so much of you."
"Why?"
"Because you can be so calm and relaxed when you're at home, with me or uncle Kenny. Yet, you have your temper when someone messes with someone you love. You and this song are so alike. This song became my favorite because I always thought of you and how happy you make mama."
"You make me happy too, mama. I know it's hard for you to raise me alone and with uncle Kenny around, I see that it takes stress of you. I know you want to be here more, mama. But, I know you work a lot so we can stay in this house. Mama, when I get old enough, I'll work really hard so you can rest more." The boy clenched his fists in determination.
Kuchel smiled down fondly at her son. Levi was such a thoughtful boy. He studied for hours on end because he wanted to get into a good school that would pay him just for attending, help his mother slowly stop working, made sure she was safe and had everything that she needed. Her son was someone she was incredibly proud of, no matter if he did something little or something major. Levi was always one who wanted to show his mother first. Kuchel absolutely loved her son to death.
"I love you, Rivai-Chan."
"I love you too, mommy."
When Levi entered high school, he took things more seriously. He barely missed school, even when he was sick. His mother was the one who got more sick than him. Despite being young, he would often take over his mother's shifts so she didn't have to worry, and they could still get some money for what they needed.
"Mother, I brought you the soup I made." Levi carefully placed the tray on his mother's lap.
Kuchel smiled, dark circles under her eyes, her skin a bit more pale than usual, "Thank you, Levi. You know, you shouldn't have missed school today. Your uncle Kenny could have stayed here with me."
The young man shook his head, sitting down beside his mother's bedside, "No, mother. I know uncle Kenny has to work as well, and I wanted to personally make sure that you got better. I already told myself I wouldn't go to school because you needed me. It like those times where I got sick when I was younger, and you stayed home from work. I wanted to do the same for you."
"Thank you, my little blue rose." Carefully picking up her tea, she began to eat the meal her son prepared.
"Anything for you, mommy."
Levi sighed heavily as he came home at almost midnight. Since he turned sixteen, he had been working to help his mother with some bills, even his uncle started helping them out as well. Said something about wanting to help out with Levi's schooling as well, but that was a matter to later be discussed.
Kenny glanced over his shoulder, "Hey, kiddo. Rough night?"
Dropping himself on the couch next to his uncle, the young man nodded, "Oh yeah. I barely had enough time today to finish all my homework. It wasn't until eight that I finally got some time to finish things up. I didn't want to pull another all nighter again." Levi rubbed his sore eyes, dark circles beginning to form.
"Don't work yourself so hard, Levi. You'll collapse in exhaustion again. Kuchel will be on your managers ass again."
"I know." Levi glanced around the room, "Where is mother? Sleeping?"
Kenny shook his head, "Nah. She's reading in her room wondering when you would get home. I stayed here because she was nervous."
"Sorry. I couldn't get out earlier because everyone needed to do more today."
The man ruffled his tired nephew's hair, "It's alright, kid. I know you're a young adult, it's natural to get caught up in work."
Levi sighed, leaning back against the couch. He was asleep within minutes.
Kuchel came down a little while later, sighing in relief when she saw her son, "Thank goodness he's home."
"Don't you worry too much about it, Kuchel. You need to focus on getting better and seeing a damn doctor. You know, Levi's going to find out soon at this rate that everything's going."
The woman sighed, sitting down beside her sleeping son, draping a blanket over him, "I know, and it breaks my heart. I know Levi, he'll break down crying the moment he finds out."
Kenny sat up, "Then why don't you go to the fucking doctor like I've been telling you for years?"
"It would cost too much money."
"Dammit, Kuchel. For once in your life, forget the fucking money, I can handle that. The real cost here, is Levi and I loosing you. I don't give a fuck about the money, I'll make ends meet somehow. You need a doctor."
Placing a hand on her brother's, the woman nodded, sighing softly, "I'll make an appointment for this week. And you're right. Money is not the real cost. I know you can make ends meet somehow. I want to be able to spend my entire life beside my son and know he's safe."
Kenny glanced down at the sleeping young man, "Yeah. The kid really needs you, Kuchel. He loves his mother to death."
"I know. He's my whole life."
"You raised him practically alone, Kuchel."
"I didn't."
"What do you mean?"
"You were an immense help in raising Levi. Vincent wasn't around, and my son needed a father figure, and while I still question some things you taught him, he came out to be a wonderful young man."
"He came out to be like this because he had a mother who took a lot of shit. Worked her ass off, and yet still made time for her kid. That's all you, sister."
Kuchel smiled softly, "Thank you, Kenny."
"Anytime."
Through his years in high school, Levi met many people. Erwin, captain America, Petra, mother hen, Eld and Gunther, idiot duo, Rico, the fucking genius, and Oluo, the moron who always tried to imitate Levi, Isabel still the hyper girl as always, and Farlan still the voice of reason. Both still fondly calling him big brother.
Levi smiled as he was taking pictures with his mother and uncle after he graduated. This day was something he waited for. He would soon be starting at a college that wasn't too far away from home, still living with his mother.
Kuchel kissed her son's cheek, "I'm so proud of you, Levi."
Kenny pat the raven on the back, "Yeah, great going, kid."
"Thank you. The both of you. You helped me out more than I can even imagine anyone could."
The woman laughed while his uncle grinned. Yes, things were good for the small Ackerman family...
...For now.
Levi had a fairly calm life in college. His uncle Kenny had kept his promise and said that he would help out. His mother didn't work as much because she kept getting sick, which Levi found odd. He offered Rico, a medical student, his friend to look at her health. Kuchel had always told him no, she had her own doctor. Levi felt like his mother was hiding something from him. So one day, he decided to get to the bottom of it.
"Mother?"
Kuchel looked up at her son, she was currently resting up in her room, "Yes, Rivai-Chan?"
Levi sat beside his mother on her bed, "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything love."
"Why do you always get sick?"
"It's because I work a lot and I guess the lack of sleep and exhaustion are getting to me."
Levi was silent for a moment, "I took note of everything that's happened when you get sick, and the symptoms, how you felt before you were bed ridden and I gave them to Rico."
Kuchel's eyes widened, "Why would you do that? Rivai-Chan, I told you I have a doctor already looking over me."
"Mother, I know. I just-"
"Rivai-Chan, I know your heart is in the right place, but this is also my own personal business, and while I hate myself to say this, this is none of your concern."
Levi scoffed in disbelief, "None of my business?"
"Yes."
"So what if you get sick and die on me? It's still none of my business." Levi's hands clenched into fists, the nails digging into his palms.
"Levi-"
"Mother, you're all I've ever had. I don't want to lose another parent…" The young man's voice cracked at the end as small sobs came out, his shoulders shaking.
Kuchel wrapped her arms around her son, "Forgive me, mon amour. I just don't you to know. I know you'll cry. I'll tell you when the time is right. I want to try and figure this out, I don't want to see your crying face. Your eyes and face are beautiful without all those tears." She gently wiped her son's tears, kissing his cheek, "Je'taime, my little blue rose."
"Je'taime aussi, mommy."
Running through the halls of the hospital, looking for his mother's room, Levi's heart was pounding in his chest, fear coursing through his veins. The young man wanted nothing more than to find his mother and collapse in her arms sobbing.
Seeing his uncle Kenny leaning against the wall by a door, Levi ran up to him, "Is she alright?"
The man looked away, "I don't know, kid. I really don't."
"What happened?"
"I got a call that Kuchel collapsed at work and was running a high fever. They called both me and you as soon as they could. They're looking after her now.'
Levi leaned against the wall, sliding down, his knees brought to his chest, hugging them, hiding his face.
It felt like hours before a doctor finally came out of Kuchel's room, "Are you both waiting for Kuchel Ackerman?"
"Yes." Kenny answered for them both, Levi standing beside him, an arm wrapped around his trembling nephew.
The words the doctor spoke to Levi seemed…like they weren't really being said. He felt like he was in a horrid nightmare, and when he'd wake up, his mother would be sleeping peacefully, uncle smoking a cigar outside, and the three of them would have breakfast as per usual.
Levi collapsed on the floor, sobbing heavily, the doctor leaving with his head bowed, Kenny on his knees, trying to calm his nephew down.
"I'm sorry. Kuchel only has three months to live."
Each day was treasured, each moment was a memory, and every tear shed was full of sadness and pain. These moments, would last forever.
"Mother, I had my job interview today."
Kuchel smiled at her son from her place on the couch, "Oh? And how did that go?"
Levi grinned, "I got the job."
The woman smiled as she stood up and embraced her son, rubbing his back. "I'm so proud of you, Rivai-Chan."
Hugging his mother back, Levi smiled, "Thank you, mommy."
"Is everything ready?"
"My god, where's the cake?!"
"Petra, calm down. It's in the fridge."
"Rico, she just wanted to make sure everything was set."
"Look who's talking captain America."
Isabel huffed, "Come on, guys. Big bro will be here soon."
Farlan raised a brow, "That's a new one, Isabel being the voice of reason."
"Hey!"
Hanji motioned for everyone to hide, "Get in your places! Here they come!"
Everyone went and hid, being quiet while the door opened.
Kuchel laughed as her brother took her jacket from her, "Thank you, the both of you. I very much appreciate the dinner for my birthday."
Levi smiled, "It was nothing mother." He flicked on the lights.
"SURPRISE!" All of Levi's friends jumped out, smiling, throwing confetti everywhere.
The woman smiled, "Thank you so much, all of you." She laughed as all of them hugged her, wishing her a happy birthday.
It was harder than Levi and Kenny thought kicking out all of the raven's friends. But, they still thanked them for coming, and making Kuchel's last birthday a memorable one.
His uncle passed out on the couch from drinking too much, Levi draping a blanket over him.
"Mother?"
"Yes, my little blue rose?"
"I wanted to give you your present." Levi held out a nicely wrapped gift to her.
Kuchel smiled as she took the small box, "Thank you, Rivai-Chan." She took off the wrapping paper and opened the box, gasping softly. It was a golden necklace in the shape of a rose, the petals outlines with cobalt sapphires, and the leaves embedded with emeralds.
Levi had a gentle smile on his face, "Open it up, mother."
When the woman did open it, she felt like sobbing out of the immense meaning in the gift. There were two pictures. One was when Levi was ten, holding onto his new bear he got, sleeping in his mother's lap, Kuchel holding the boy, a blanket around them. The second one was when Levi was a young man, arm wrapped around his mother, fond smiles on their faces. That day was when the raven was accepted into university and Kuchel was able to quit her job and mainly stay at home, resting up and enjoying the piece.
"Rivai-Chan…"
"I…I know this is your last birthday, but I wanted to get you something that will make you remember all the good times we had together. I got it in a rose, because you always call me your little blue rose. You mean the world to me mother, and I know I will miss you so much, it won't be the same for me ever again without you here in this world."
Kuchel brought her son into a tight embrace, "Even if I'm not in this world, know that I'll always look after you and love you, no matter where I am. Because no matter what, you'll always be my little boy, and I'll always be your mother. I love you so much, Levi. You brought so much happiness into my life."
Levi wrapped his arms around his mother, "I love you very much, mother. More than anyone in this entire world."
"Rivai-Chan, you know, I was very happy when you were born a boy. Do you know why?"
"No, why?"
"Because I got the honor to be the first woman in love with you."
The young man smiled, tears gathering in his eyes, "And you're the woman I've loved the most in my life. And it will always stay that way."
"My little blue rose, make sure you keep on living. Alright? Even if I'm not here."
"…Alright, mother. I'll keep living for you and myself. I promise."
When Kuchel had only four weeks left, she got very sick and had to be taken to the hospital. The doctors said it would be best if she stayed. Kuchel was heartbroken that she wouldn't get to pass in the comfort of her home, and through much persuasion, she was allowed to return home on her last two days.
The days rolled by just like they always had. Levi going to work, Kuchel resting, and Kenny looking after her. The warm atmosphere slowly leaving the house with what would soon come.
On the last day, Levi and Kenny were seated by a very pale Kuchel, the woman giving them a loving smile, "Thank you, the both of you."
She turned to look at her brother, "Kenny, you were always there for me when I had no one, when mother and father kicked me out for choosing Vincent and having a baby, when I decided to quit school to be a full time mother. You helped me raise my baby boy, and guided me through that tough time when Vincent left. I can never find the right words to properly thank you. I love you, brother. Please, look after my only son, my love, my little blue rose, my Rivai-Chan. My life."
Kuchel faced her son, seeing crystalline tears streaming down his pale cheeks. She gently brushed them away, "Rivai-Chan, I don't ever regret raising you alone when your father wanted to take you with him. You made me love life, even though I worked a lot, I did it for you. You've made me the proudest mother in the world. I see nothing but happiness in your future, my little blue rose. I loved every single moment that I was able to share with you." She gently touched her pendant Levi gave her, "Do not lose sight of who you are. You are my amazing son, Levi. Je'taime, my little blue rose."
"J-Je t'aime, m-mommy."
...Kuchel passed away that night.
Funerals are the most difficult thing a person has to go through in their life. Seeing their loved one being placed in the ground, never getting the chance to see them again. It was something Levi didn't ever want to happen again, but life doesn't work that way.
Listening to all those people talk so fondly about his mother, made him feel not so alone. There were people who cared a lot. His uncle didn't go up to talk because he said that he wasn't comfortable enough to do so, Levi on the other hand, was.
The young man stood up at the podium and cleared his throat, "My mother, Kuchel, was quite frankly, the best mother anyone could ask for. I know everyone says that about their mother, but I know for certain she was. My mother raised me alone when my father walked out on the both of us. Things were hard, my mother working late, and telling my uncle Kenny to look after me because she wanted to know I was safe with someone she trusted. My mother gave up so much for me. She could have easily left me and went about her merry way, just like my father did, but she didn't. She chose to raise me, despite all the hardship we went through together. There were times, where she and I would wonder what life would be like if my father was still there, but when she and I would share a fond memory together, a father didn't seem like a major necessity."
Levi stopped to take a deep breath, slowly exhaling, "My mother was a completely strong woman who I looked up to. You know when they say a father is someone a son looks up to most, hell no. Even when he was around, I looked up to my mother the most. She might have been overprotective and while now I might question some of her parenting, she did it so I could come out just fine. And as you can see, I am a responsible adult my mother was, no, is proud of. Yes, I'll admit to some extent, I am a mama's boy." Everyone laughed at the remark, "But I'm damn proud to be one with Kuchel as my mother."
Stopping for a moment, Levi continued, "My fondest memory of her was when I was nine years old. It was during the winter, and the power and heating went out because of the storm going on outside, mother and I had a fireplace in the living room. She brought out a mattress, blankets, books, our battery powered radio, and we spent the entire night there. She and I were wrapped up in the blanket, her reading to me, music idly playing in the background. When we fell asleep and woke up in the morning, she and I were still in the blankets, nice and warm. Mother wanted to get our day started, but I told her I was too comfortable with mommy and didn't feel like doing anything. My mother smiled, and we spent the entire day by the fireplace, making smores and just being together."
The young man bit back some sobs that threatened to leave him, "If there was one thing I could say to my mother. It's that I love her with my entire being, and thank you for raising me. You're one hell of a woman."
At the burial, Levi was the one one that threw in a blue rose.
"Are you sure you can handle this?"
"I'm certain uncle. Mother would have wanted me to do this. I'm an adult now."
Kenny sighed, "But Levi, so soon? I mean, it was only two months ago."
Levi rubbed his temples, "I know, uncle. The memory is still fresh in my head, but I need to find my happiness like mother said."
"Well, if you think so, I'll support you in this." Kenny pat his nephew's shoulder.
"Uncle, can I ask you one favor?"
"Anything."
"...Can you look over this house for me until I'm ready to come back."
"You didn't even need to ask for that one."
Living in America, in an apartment alone, didn't make Levi feel comfortable in the slightest. There was a warm atmosphere that the young man felt like he didn't have with him anymore.
His friends were here, sure. But did that mean this feeling went away, certainly not.
In the past six months that he'd lived in America, he got a job, sometimes went out with his friends, kept constant contact with Isabel and Farlan, and talked with his uncle in France.
Levi sighed as he was dragged out to a club by Hanji.
"Oh come on, grumpy. It can't be that bad." The brunette grinned back at him.
The raven scoffed, "You think I'd come out and see nothing but drunk idiots out here? I could be at home enjoying a cup of tea and finish reading my book."
Petra pat his shoulder, "Don't worry, Levi. This night will get better."
"Yeah right."
While all his friends went out and danced, if you can even call it that, Levi himself was sipping away at his whiskey, eyes aimlessly looking around the crowd. He froze when one young man caught his eye.
Levi took a moment to calm himself before going over, "Hello."
The young man turned to him, smiling, "Hello."
"What's your name?"
"What's yours?"
"Levi."
"Eren."
Never did Levi expect to find his soulmate and the mother of his children at a club in America, oh well, you know what they say. Unexpected things happen in unexpected places.
"...That's how things went." Levi finished his story, looking down at his hands in his lap. He waited for his brother's response.
Rivaille stared at the raven in front of him, not sure what to say. He got up, walking over to his brother, made him stand up and hugged him tightly.
Levi froze, then his shoulders began shaking as he returned the embrace, sobbing into his brother's shoulder.
...Levi still grows blue roses in his garden to this day...
End of chapter 24.