Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.

After he goes, I'm not sure how long I sit and cry. I know I have to get up, though. I can't be sitting here in my pajamas and crying when the kids get home from my parents' house.

I manage to make myself presentable before they arrive. I fake smile at my parents so I don't have to discuss what is going on with Edward. My mom looks at me funny and hugs me extra tightly before she goes, but she doesn't say anything.

The kids and I decide to put up Halloween decorations, which helps my mood a little. Sophie and Michael have homework, so we spend part of the afternoon quietly while they do homework and I read…really, I pretend to read. I mostly think about Edward and what went wrong while trying not to let the tears take over again. I do not obsessively check my phone for texts, but I do keep it with me just in case.

When I go to bed Sunday night, I have no messages, no texts and no phone calls. I cave.

*E – just wondering if you made it home safe. Love – B

I wait up for over an hour, but get no reply. After a fresh round of tears, I finally fall into a fitful sleep.

I wake up Monday groggy. I get the kids up and off to school and then head to the office. Still no answer from Edward. Since July, I've talked to him almost every morning during my commute. The absence of his voice, his attention, is more painful than I ever believed it could be. I can't even bear to hear the radio right now and drive in complete silence the whole way to my office. I check email as soon as I arrive…still nothing from him.

Jake, Angela and I have a quick meeting to go over financials for the previous month, then Jake heads back to his office. Angela gets up and shuts the door to mine.

"Out with it," she says, sitting back down across from my desk.

"What?" I ask.

"Something's wrong…something's off with you today. Your eyes look funny. Are you pissed at Edward or something?"

Jesus, how does she do this? "We're taking a break for a few days."

"From each other?" she asks shrilly.

"Yeah. He got pissy about me having lunch with Sam on Friday and I got pissy back and we fought about a whole bunch of shit. We decided to take a break for a few days to figure out what we want."

"You want each other."

"I think we do, but I'm not going to be bossed around or told who I can have fucking lunch with. It's beyond controlling. He doesn't trust me to be faithful or something."

'Oh, Bells. I'm sorry," she says, coming around my desk to hug me. I sullenly refuse to get out of my chair, making the hug kind of awkward. She laughs at me. "So how long is this break?"

"We said a few days, but I already texted him. He didn't answer," I reply.

"When did you text him?"

"Last night."

"Oh. Wow, willpower."

"Yeah."

"Well, he'll answer, B. He's completely fucking nuts about you. Everybody knows it," she says smiling confidently at me.

"Thanks. Enough about me. Let's talk about you. Something's off with you, too," I say. She's been acting not quite herself for the last few days, but I couldn't get anything out of her before last week, even on Friday night.

"It's Ben," she says, suddenly teary-eyed. "He wants to have a baby. With me."

I almost laugh at the way she phrased that, but she's not in a joking mood. This subject comes up with them periodically, but she always blows him off with some version of 'in a couple of years'. They've been married almost eight years now.

"How do you feel about having a baby?" I ask gently.

"Bella, you know I fucking love your kids, but I don't know if I could do it full time. I'm not exactly maternal," she answers.

"Ang, when it's your child, it doesn't feel like 'full time'. You want to do things for them. And you are very maternal with me…you've managed to pull me out of my guilt phase, make me have fun again, find me a hot guy, and push me to fall in love. You totally mommed me."

"True, but I don't think I can yell and cuss at a baby and give it delicious alcoholic beverages until it does what I want," she says.

"No, I think you go to jail for that shit," I say, smiling. She laughs a little. "Angela, I don't think that everyone has to have kids. And if you don't want to, I think that's fine and I'll support you. But if you do want to and you're just scared, please know that everyone is scared about it the first time. And if you decide to, I'll be here to help you any way I can. I love you and I think you'd make a great mom," I say sincerely.

"I love you too. Ben and I are going to talk about it more tonight. I will definitely think about what you've said."

Now I do get up to hug her and she heads back to her office. I have a shitload of papers on my desk that need handling, but I'm not in the mood. I read email, return a few phone calls, check my cell for texts. I have some, but not from the person I most want one from.

Around lunchtime, Lauren buzzes me that Aro is holding for me. I ask her to tell him that I've gone into a meeting. I can't bear the thought of talking to Gramps right now. I'm sure he knows something is up since he was with Edward yesterday. I'll call him later, when things are settled – one way or the other – with Edward.

I haven't gone this long without talking to Edward since we got together in July. It's been almost 28 hours of no Edward. By the time I leave my office, it's 32 hours. Still no Edward.

My mom shows up at my house Monday night right before the kids' bedtime. She takes over tucking-in duty while I finish cleaning up the kitchen. When she comes back downstairs, she takes my hand and leads me to the couch in the hearthroom.

"Bella, baby, what's going on?" she asks gently.

"What do you mean?" I ask, frowning at her.

"You had the funniest look on your face yesterday and tonight you still don't look right. It's Edward, isn't it?"

Involuntarily, tears begin streaming down my face. I nod.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asks softly.

"No. I love you, Mom, but I don't want to talk about it right now," I say between gaspy breaths.

"Okay, sweetie," she says, pulling me close to her. I let her hold me while I cry until I can't cry anymore.

We sit in silence for several minutes after I'm cried out.

"Mom, I love him so much and I'm losing him again," I finally whisper.

"Bella, all couples fight. All couples go through rough patches. It doesn't mean that you'll lose him," she says. "There are times in every relationship where you fight with each other. And there are times you have to fight for each other, too. It took your father and me decades to figure that one out."

I raise my head to look quizzically at her.

"We quit, Bella. We quit on each other, on ourselves, on our family, and most importantly, on you. It's the biggest regret I have in my life. Don't quit on this relationship. You two are so good for each other. This little spat, or whatever it is that happened, doesn't change the love that you have for each other. You just got off track a little and now you have to fight to get back where you were."

She stays a few more minutes, but thankfully doesn't ask me for any details about what happened. When she goes, she hugs me hard and says again and again how much she loves me…and how much she loves Edward.

Tuesday passes in much the same way. I cave again and call his cell in the afternoon. Straight to voicemail. I leave a message that I'm just checking on him and that I love him. Then I put my head down on my desk like a kindergartener. That is how I'm sitting when James comes through my open office door.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asks. He actually has the nerve to sound concerned.

I sit up. "What do you want, James?" I sigh heavily.

"I have some papers for you to sign. How was the rest of your weekend?" he asks. Am I just imagining the hopeful gleam in his eye? I'm starting to think that he and Jessica set this whole thing up. Is that too paranoid? Maybe not. Jessica could have overheard Jake saying where we were headed Saturday night…she sits right outside his office door and he talks loud.

Would James and Jessica do something so crappy? Yes and yes. Hmmm, I'll have to think about how I want to handle this.

"My weekend was great. I'm just completely worn out from it," I reply, smiling a big fake smile. "You can just leave the papers and I'll look through them tomorrow."

His face falls a little at my weekend answer. Yep, I think I'm onto something with this set up. It doesn't change any of the issues that Edward and I are having, but it changes how I feel about my lawyer and Skankica.

"I needed those papers signed today," he insists.

"Then you should have brought them to me earlier. I'm getting ready to head out. I'll get to them in the morning," I say, standing up and ushering James out of my office. After he's gone, I get my stuff, make sure my office door is locked and head toward Jake's office, just out of curiosity.

I peek around the corner and James is at Jessica's desk whispering. This does not look like a lovey-dovey conversation though. I retreat back around the corner before they see me and head to the elevator.

I go home in the chilly rain and put on one of Edward's t-shirts. I fake it for the kids, but I think Sophie is catching on that something's up. They're usually around when I'm talking to Edward and I'm sure she's noticed that I haven't gotten any calls from him.

"Mom, is Edward mad at you or something?" Sophie asks. Crap. I wonder how much I should tell them and settle on enough not to lie, but not everything.

"Um, Edward and I are taking a little break from each other for a few days," I say carefully, trying to keep my voice even and steady.

"You broke up?" Sophie asks loudly, indignantly.

Chase hears this from the kitchen – where he's eating his chocolate ice cream – and comes sliding across the hardwood floor of the hearth room in his socks to stop right in front of where I'm sitting.

"Mom, what the fuck?" he asks. Oh, terrific. Dropping the f-bomb at age eight. How many 'crappy mother of the year' awards am I going to win?

"Young man, we do not speak that way in this house! Apologize right now for that language," I say sternly. Okay, if I wasn't in such a terrible mood, I probably would have had trouble keeping a straight face when he said it.

"Sorry. Does this mean Edward's not coming back?" he asks. "Why would you do that? I like him!" I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. Isn't this part of the reason I talked myself out of dating the last three years? The emotional push-pull with the kids can't happen. I shouldn't have answered Sophie quite so honestly.

"Honey, we didn't break up. It's all going to be fine," I say, hoping it's not a lie.

"Don't break up with him, Mom," he warns me before heading back to his ice cream. Fuck…it's the word of the day around here.

Luckily, it's close to bedtime, so I send everyone to shower. I do the tucking in ritual which takes forever tonight because Chase still has to be reassured that Edward will be coming to see him again. As I'm finishing up in the kitchen, I hear tapping at my patio door and see Ang. I go to let her in and take the cup she's holding out to me.

"Hey, how ya doing, Bells?" she asks, grinning at me.

"Hanging in. How about you? You look better," I remark, sitting at the table and gesturing for her to join me.

"I feel better. Ben and I are going to try to get pregnant," she says with a huge smile.

I squeal and jump up to hug her. We sit back down and she tells me all about their big talk last night and how she is still scared, but she does want to have a family with Ben. I am so happy for her that I forget to be sad for myself. I take a sip of the drink she brought me.

"This is so good, Ang," I say. It tastes like a flavored coffee.

"I know. I'm living vicariously through you. It's decaf espresso, caramel vodka, coffee liquer and half and half."

"It's so yummy," I say, taking another big drink.

"It's called a caramel sundae," she says, still smiling at me.

Once again, my tears are involuntary and are coursing down my face before I even realize I'm going to cry.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

"Inside joke…Edward….I'm sorry, Ang. I can't drink this," I manage to say between sobs. She grabs the cup and pours the contents down the sink mumbling about idiot men the whole time.

"So have you been thinking about what you want?" she asks while she's rinsing out the cup.

"Huh?" I ask.

"You said that you and Edward were taking some time to figure out what you want…or did you just mean he was supposed to figure out what he wants," she says. I think she's trying to provoke me.

"I want him here. I want him to move….I want him to want to move," I answer.

"Okay, then tell him. And spend a little more time on your introspection, sister. You are going to need more than that to say to him when you two talk. What are you willing to give in return – it's got to be give and take, B. Balance," she says, coming back to the table and resting her hands on my shoulders from behind.

"Let's get you to bed," she says softly. We walk back to my room and she tucks me in, saying she'll lock up and turn the lights out. She kisses the top of my head before she goes. She'll make a great mom, just like I thought.

After she leaves, I get up to put the white shirt from the long-ago meadow sex on over the t-shirt I'm already wearing and get back in bed, crying silently again.

I struggle through Wednesday, getting moodier by the hour. Still nothing from Edward. I have texted him two more times. He's definitely ignoring me now. If he's trying to make me miss him more, it's working. But I am done crying now. No more of that shit.

My fairy godmothers, who are overly cheery, come to my office to drag me to Pilates class. Afterwards, they agree to come over for dinner and hang out with me and the kids. Eventually, Angela goes home to Ben and MK goes back into town to meet up with Seth. I feel a little bad because I didn't even know MK and Seth were dating again...then Emma says she didn't either. So I guess I'm not as out of the loop as I thought.

After the kids are in bed, Emma pounces. We are sitting at the kitchen counter drinking wine…I'm finishing my second glass while she's just starting hers.

"Trying to drink him out of your system, Bells? That won't work, you know. You'll end up with a hangover but still feel shitty about Edward," she opines.

"I know, Emma," I snap. Then sigh. "Sorry. I don't know what else to do. He's completely ignoring me."

"You know what you need to do, Bella? You need to get your ass down to LA and talk to Edward in person. Besides Ben and Ang, I've never been around two people who are so crazy about each other. Don't let a stupid fight ruin what you two have."

"I can't go to LA. I'll be destroyed if I haul my ass all the way down there to get dumped."

She laughs. "I don't know which one of you is acting more stupid. You both need a smack upside the head." She shakes her head at me.

"Can you just be on my side, please?" I ask, irritated now.

"I am on your side. You love him. Get down there and tell him…show him," she insists.

"He should know. I fucking tell him all the time," I say, moving from irritation straight to anger.

"Oh, please. He's a boy. He forgets half of what you tell him and wasn't listening to the other half in the first place. Demetri hasn't remembered two words I've said since we started dating," she says jokingly. Then she turns serious. "Bella, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't work this out with him."

"I know. I don't want to hear it in person if he's done with me, though. I won't be able to take it."

"I've seen the way he looks at you – the way you look at each other. You're not done. Now I don't know why he's not returning your calls, but if I was you, I'd have that airplane ready first thing in the morning and go get my man."

"I can't. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling crappy. I just want to pretend last weekend never happened."

"Not possible, sugar. You have to work out the issues that come up in a relationship, not just push them down or sex over them," she insists. When did love 'em and leave 'em Emma become so relationship savvy?

"I don't want to think about it anymore right now. Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be by myself."

"All right, but I can only sleep on the left side of the bed. No funny business in bed either…I've seen how you start rubbing against Edward after the second glass of wine…and I do a lot, but no girl on girl. And I get the remote," she states seriously. I shake my head disbelievingly at her then we dissolve into laughter.

"Okay, Emma. I think you're the funniest person I've ever met," I say, still smiling.

"Funniest person you've ever met or will meet, you mean," she responds. "Maybe you should text Edward that we're having a sleepover and pillow fighting in our undies. He'd probably answer you then."

"If I thought he would, I'd do it in a heartbeat," I answer.

"You're not going to make me sleep in one of the t-shirts you've lifted from the Edward Cullen summer and fall collection, are you?"

"Now that you mention it…" I say and we laugh again.

We watch a chick flick and discuss the general stupidity of men. Then she gets a text from Demetri and goes all girly-girl on me. I'm really happy for her…but my own feelings of despair are magnified when I think how that used to be me. I used to be the one getting late-night phone calls and texts. I used to be the one with the guy who was crazy about me. I hold it together, though, even sending a text of my own to Demetri and managing to smile for Emma.

Eventually they stop and Emma and I turn out the lights.

"Thanks for staying, Em. I couldn't face another night of waiting by myself for him to not call."

"You're welcome, B. It'll all work out, you'll see," she answers with a yawn. Huh. The same words Edward said to me ten days ago. Fucker.

"I hope so, Emma. I hope so."

Thursday morning Aro calls again. I ask Lauren to tell him I'm in a meeting again. I know I'm being a chickenshit, but I can't handle being interrogated by Gramps right now. I grab a sticky note and scrawl "Gramps" on it and stick it to the back of my cell so I don't forget to call him back later today or first thing tomorrow. I promise him in my head that I will call regardless of what happens with Edward.

By lunchtime, I am convinced Edward's completely done with me. Still no messages from him at all. I have refrained from texting him or calling him anymore though. I can take a hint. I would like to be childish and text him some nasty, name-calling messages, but I don't. I can't. I love him even if he doesn't want me anymore.

Last week, I whined to Jake until he let me have Tyler as my assistant. I had never gotten around to replacing my old assistant, after she quit to stay at home with her kids last spring. So today, my new assistant – who by Edward's rules I am not allowed to eat lunch with – and I are going over some reports in my office when my desk phone buzzes.

"Bella, Alice Whitlock is here to see you," Lauren says cheerily, probably thinking I'll be pleased by this unexpected visit. She doesn't know anything's wrong between Edward and me.

I sigh quietly. "Send her in." After I hang up the phone, I turn to Tyler and tell him we'll have to continue this conversation tomorrow. He is stepping out the door just as Alice comes breezing in.

I stand up and go to hug her. I get us each a water from my mini fridge and we sit down at the small round table in my office. I point out to her that I'm wearing my bracelet from her collection and her eyes light up when I tell her how much I really do love it. I don't mention how much I love the man who gave it to me.

"So, what's going on, Bella?" she asks when the bracelet conversation is exhausted.

"Just work. Busy, busy," I answer, but I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant. I suddenly get very interested in the lid to my water bottle, spinning it around on top of the table.

"I mean what's going on with you and Edward?"

"You are butting out, remember? I ask testily, looking into her bright blue eyes.

"Look, I'm happy to butt the fuck out when you two are not making a royal mess of a great relationship, but from what I hear, this is not one of those times. So I'm officially butting the fuck back in," she huffs.

I sigh heavily and rub my hands across my face. "I don't know, Alice. We got in a big fight Saturday. He left early Sunday. We're taking a break."

"Taking a break? You're taking a break? How Ross and Rachel of you," she says incredulously. "So have you talked at all this week?"

"No. I caved and called him, texted him. But he hasn't answered at all."

She rolls her eyes and makes a face. "I think he's turned his phone off. I can't get a hold of him either. I ended up having to talk to Eric yesterday at Edward's office because I was worried that I couldn't get through to Edward. Eric said Edward's been on a bender this week and he's had to pull my darling brother out of that fucking dive bar he loves at closing time every night. One night, he had to pull that slutty Kate from across the hall off of Edward, too."

"What?" I practically yell, sitting up straighter and slamming my hands down on top of the table.

"There's the new, improved Bella. Going to get off your ass and fight for your man, now?"

"What's that supposed to mean? He was the one acting like a fucking possessive dictator about me having lunch with a friend."

"Bella," she begins softly, "you and Edward both negotiate as part of your jobs, and I hear you're both quite good at your jobs. But when you two disagree, he overreacts and you dig your heels in stubbornly and refuse to give even a little. That's no way to build a lasting relationship."

"I know. And I definitely need to work on my part in that. But that's only part of the problem. He doesn't trust me," I say, my voice catching on the last sentence.

"Why do you say that?"

"He thinks I'm going to cheat on him just because I had lunch, a mostly business lunch, with an old friend, who I happened to date for a short period of time."

"You slept with said friend at some point?" she asks intuitively.

"Yes, forever ago. In college."

She laughs and smiles wryly. "Yeah, guys cannot be rational about that stuff, though. I don't think that means he doesn't trust you as a whole. He's just afraid of losing you."

"Well, it's ridiculous. He basically said it was okay for me to eat lunch with married guys, but not single ones."

She bursts into hysterical laughter. "Yep, that sounds like my brother. What an idiot."

"He's not an idiot," I say defensively. "He used to love me," I sniffle. So much for no more tears, Bella.

She reaches over to grasp one of my hands on the table. "He still does, Bella. That's why he's acting like an idiot."

"Speaking of idiots, let's talk about your husband," I say, knowing I'm going to get Jasper in huge trouble, but not caring. He started it.

Alice gasps when I tell her what Jasper told Edward and what Edward said to me about it. She pulls out her phone and texts furiously for a minute. I smile a little thinking about Jasper having to endure the wrath of Alice instead of me this time.

"Maybe we should chuck them both and turn lesbo," she laughs when she finally looks back up at me.

She talks me into calling Edward at his office, then announces she has to get back to Forks.

"Did you have meetings in Seattle today?" I ask, feeling bad for not asking earlier. Her line is selling very well in the stores it's carried in and I know she's had more offers.

"Just one…one very important meeting with my very good friend," she smiles at me.

I tear up again. "You drove all this way to talk to me?"

"Yes, Bella. You are very important to me…to Edward…to our whole family. Fix this. Don't let this happen again," she says firmly, her eyes are filled with tears now, too. "I'm going. You call him and work this out."

"Okay, Al."

We hug good-bye. As she's on her way out, I call, "Thanks for butting in."

She laughs and says, "Anytime."

As soon as she's gone, I call Edward's office and smile when I hear Charlotte's voice.

"Hi, Charlotte. It's Bella. Is Edward available?"

"Well, it's about damn time. What the devil is going on with you two? Edward's been insufferable all week, reeked of stale alcohol most days and looked like hell, which is hard for him to do," she says angrily. I'm not smiling anymore.

"We argued. I'm trying to fix it. I need to talk to him, but he's not answering his cell," I offer as a defense.

"I don't know what he did with it. He hasn't had it all week."

"Is he there?"

"Yes, but he's been in a meeting most of the day with the senior partners. Today is the first day that he looked better, and smelled better. He still hasn't shaved, though. But he had some light in his eyes again this morning. You…you haven't spoken to him?" She sounds confused.

"No," I say, my heart plummeting into my stomach. I wonder if he decided to take the partnership and that's what he's meeting with them about. "Well, will you just tell him that I called? Please, Charlotte?" I beg.

"Of course, dear," she says and we hang up.

I put my head down on my desk again, which is how I'm sitting when Emma comes in.

"Good God! All right. This has gone far enough. Get up. We are going to get some endorphins running through your depressed self."

"You already took me to Pilates this week," I complain.

"We're doing cardio today," she informs me. "You need to get a little of your fire back, Bella."

"I don't want to," I whine.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to. Get your workout stuff on. We're out of here in five," she says in her 'don't even think about arguing with me' voice. She grabs my gym bag from the closet in my office and throws me my Bermuda workout shorts, a sports bra and a tank top. Defeated, I go into my private bathroom to change.

We end up on the ellipticals at the gym in the building. She's in better shape than I am and I hope no one is listening to our conversation. She's speaking normally while I'm huffing and puffing and sweating like crazy.

"Maybe Edward's just not as great as we all thought….I mean if he's going to treat you like this," she says. This is another paraphrase of her mantra for the last fifteen minutes: Edward sucks, dump him.

"Thought you were his biggest fan," I manage to say, breathing hard.

"I was until he started acting like a complete cocksucker. I mean, really, I might kick him in the nads if I ever see him again."

"You will not! Don't you dare hurt him," I seethe.

"Why not? He's done nothing but hurt you all week," she says.

"How about you wait to find out what's really going on before you jump to all these conclusions about him? Jesus, Emma, at least give him the benefit of the doubt," I argue, meeting her eyes in the mirror in front of us. She smirks a little, then raises her eyes to the television over our heads.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Okay."

Oh…she's played me again.

"You're kind of a tricky bitch, you know?" I ask smiling at her in the mirror.

"Damn, Bella, I'm insulted. What's with this 'kind of' shit?" she asks, laughing.

An hour later, after cooling down on the treadmills, I'm sweaty, stinky and in a much better frame of mind…even though Edward still hasn't called me. Emma's right. I have to go to LA. As soon as I get home, I will call my parents to see if they can stay with the kids this weekend and then I'll call the pilot. Tomorrow morning I will get my ass down to LA like I should have done days ago and fix this.

I get in my car, not bothering to go back upstairs to get my work clothes. I take my cell phone out of my purse and stick the note to call Gramps to my console. My heart jumps excitedly when my phone rings a few minutes later. I pick it up…right area code, wrong number.

"Hi, Demetri," I say brightly, assuming that Emma told him to call and cheer me up.

"Bella, has anyone called you yet?" he asks, his voice tense.

"No," I say, nervous now from the tone of his voice. Something is definitely wrong. "What's going on?"

"God, Bella, I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you…I think you need to get down here…as soon as you can. It's bad," he says, his voice crackling with emotion.

My heart is in my throat as I beg again, "Demetri, what happened?"

A/N: Thanks for reading – please review. Next update will be next Sunday.