Day after day, week after week, month by month. It was already extremely painful to register time going without Graves but now it seemed to flee without rest. Nothing to stop it yet it was the most precious thing he had. Time. Putting more and more distance with the actual separation, that terrible day.
Twisted Fate couldn't help but count. No way to distract himself from the fact that his own partner was in the Locker. Hell in the form of a closed jail. Everything felt useless, not good enough since he wasn't getting far.
Search wasn't easy. Most people prefered not to know where the Locker was and truly, he couldn't blame them. No one wanted to live near it, aware of the atrocity of this place. And also because of its special 'guests'. You never arrived here without reason, usually you deserved it. Sometimes not, though. Getting a rival, enemy in the Locker was a guaranty not to see them again.
Information was even more rare, Twisted fate learned. People weren't really talkative about it and the others never had solid proof of their says. Just legends, possible words or not.
Little by little he lost hope. No one knew exactly where it was. And that was the easiest part : what would he do once he found out ? It would take some balls to get willingly in the Locker, just to give an escape. People weren't that crazy. Even against money. Of course ! They wouldn't be sure to actually succeed and make it out alive. So why take the risk.
To be defeatist wasn't his habit. An attempt was always important to give but now it seemed doomed the more he learned about it.
With all this going on, search for information, Twisted Fate had his own matters to take care of. Biology never gave a break and it reminded him oh so often how lonely he was. How long it had been since the latest 'action'. He wanted to focus on Graves and do what he could but in return it involved thinking about what he was missing. Not just care, attention and contact. From now he missed banter, even their small fights. Anything from it.
At night he had never felt that lonely since his young years, silence as gloomy envelop.
And so came this harsh reminder. The heat happened so fast and he had been too caught up looking for Graves that he forgot about it. Completely. Hard, cruel, unforgiving. Left him choking for air, locked up in some place for the night. Not even the strenght to get help outside. It didn't even cross his mind, for he stayed in that time he had a partner. Clung to Graves even in thoughts, not ready to let go the possible loss. Why would he go outside and find someone when he already had him ? Problem, his partner wasn't here and his heat had begun anyway. Hated so much the rest of the world during that time, helpless as he endured it. Alone. No release could make it better, physical need not even met. Life was a bitch, sometimes.
The tiny good thing about it was how desperate it made him to find the latter. More effort given to find clues, anything to help. Get him back, keep him safe, close distance. Twisted Fate had lost his calm a long time ago, when the heist happpened. Now the usual façade was more difficult to keep, too much worry for Graves.
Talked to so many persons, visited so much points in Bilgewater – for this city was incredibly large once you looked in. But so thin result.
Lost in the bay, somewhere. Not a real surprise but Twisted Fate winced all the same just at the thought. What a genius idea. Of course they would build a prison on a rock in the middle of the sea. Prey to the rough wind and whims of the tide. No way to approach discreetly.
He found information but it was worse. Still that lingering fear of the waters, for he would never trust it again. Looking at the sea, now aware Graves was somewhere out there. Out of reach but so close.
A perfect jail, impossible to get in except under the wrong circumstances. The one you'd never wish to see.
Ice at the back of his mind, memories not so gentle of the river. Not the same waters but the damage was done. Twisted Fate couldn't get it out of his head. Crippling fear, stuck in the past. Not to the point of avoiding the sea – it would be difficult at Bilgewater – but enough to make him reconsider his chances.
Flashback. The sea as obstacle. But this time he wasn't the one left behind. It burn so much to realize that but it was his fault. Graves was the one left behind. Even if it never was his intention, it was too late. Abandon… It hurt.
That night, alone like so many before, Twisted Fate broke again. Gave up. There was no way he could get Graves back to him. Too many obstacles, too difficult. It ripped his heart in two, to let the man go though they never wished that to happen. They were happy. But he failed them both, left his partner behind.
Inflicted the same thing he endured. Not meaning to, needless to say. But it was too late. Time had ran away like a thief, stealing the chance to make it up.
Never he would give up but now it was painful to keep hopes. Dark thoughts plaguing his rest. Why did it hurt so much ? Just because he held someone too close. In the dead silence of the night, struggling to sleep, it slapped him in the face. Had been so close before to give into his feelings but it was so scary at the time. Didn't want to allow something so vulnerable. But now that he was alone, he could just see how big the opportunity was before it disappeared.
Love. What a shitty life, to admit feelings once it was too late. How twisted, to turn it down waiting for a better time except it was already the best time possible. Too late, everything was over, no second chance. Twisted Fate wanted to scream, fury for his own cowardice. It had been stated over and over that Graves loved him but not once he voiced it in return. Now he was alone. They were alone, sea between them and nothing to be done.
To love was horrible, in that very case. He missed his partner so much, doing everything he could to find him but now it was useless.
Hadn't life already done enough to wound him ?