Author's Note: This wasn't specifically for Alistair. The prompt was based off R.E.M.'s "It's The End of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine)." I promise to work on Vigilance soon.
The ancient Tevinter fortress made of pale stone was clearly dwarven made by the fact it was still standing and had only barely begun to start crumbling. At least from a distance that was the case.
Another time, she would have thought it an incredibly beautiful and breathtaking sight the way the mountains soared in the distance beyond the towers, or the way the valley it guarded was full of majestic trees, most of them pine and other evergreens. The cold wind blowing through the area brought the pleasantly astringent scent of the trees to her even as it tugged at the simple braid her long silver-white hair was bound in.
"Are you all right, Marlana?" Duncan asked quietly as they walked up to the entrance of the stronghold. Their horses had been taken to the picket lines at the orders of one of the perimeter guards. Since the darkspawn had a fondness for horseflesh beyond even what they had for humans and elves, the horses were kept at a distance so that stragglers from the main horde wouldn't go after the animals.
"I'm fine", came the quiet response, ignoring Oogie's whine disputing her comment. Despite what the extremely large mabari thought, she would be fine, she had to be, it was that or give up now. And she wouldn't give up, not when there was still a chance of bringing some form of justice to that murderous, treacherous bastard Howe. She'd never liked the man, thinking him a weasel, but she didn't think he'd stoop to something that low.
The look Duncan gave her clearly agreed with the mabari in that he didn't think she was fine either. Throughout the entire trip after they fled the lands of her family and their vassals, he kept trying to console her the best he could. Trying to encourage her to let some of the grief out. She knew he felt guilty for conscripting her with her father dying before them and her mother refusing to leave his side. Marlana didn't have it in her to accept any kind of comfort though, hollowed out by grief, pain and hate. Over all that was guilt.
Guilt for not picking up on all the subtle clues that there was something very wrong going on. Guilt for not immediately hearing the shouts and sounds of combat the way she should have. Guilt for not being fast enough to first save Oriana and Oren. Not fast enough to save her father. If she hadn't made the detour to the treasury to retrieve the family sword and shield, she would've been able to get to her father in time.
Guilt for not getting to Faolain keep in time. The butchery there had been even worse than in Castle Cousland, if that was possible. Or maybe it was just the memory of holding Gwen in her arms as her best friend and heart-sister bled out. Like Bryce before her, her wounds were too much for anything, even the most powerful healing magic, to mend. All she could do was dose Gwen in such a way to ease the pain.
While she might have Gwen's blood on her hands, she couldn't bear to kill her friend, even though the other young woman begged for mercy.
At least Duncan let her slaughter what few men Howe had left in the small keep to slake her thirst for revenge.
A cheerful male voice broke through the dark memories that threatened to swallow her whole, "Ho there, Duncan!"
The warden-commander's face mirrored her own shock at the man wearing elaborate golden plate with forest green accents, at his back were heavily armed men in serviceable silverite armor that had seen heavy use. While she hadn't personally met him, she knew of Cailan Theirin very well from her father's and brother's stories of the time spent at court.
It took everything she had to keep the tears back at the thought of her father as she sent up a silent prayer, Oh Maker, Blessed Andraste, please, let Fergus be all right, though I dread telling him what has happened.
Once again she mentally shook herself, this was neither the time nor place to be woolgathering. In silence, she listened to Duncan and Cailan exchange pleasantries, it was obvious that the king had a great deal of hero worship for the Warden. Though the swarthy man tried not showing it, there was a bit of irritation in Duncan's manner at Cailan, at least to Marlana's sharp blue eyes.
Or maybe she just fancied it. She didn't know the king, and he was already irritating her.
Finally the king turned to regard her, and she started to revise her opinion to something much worse than irritating as he openly studied her. The manner he did so would have provoked her to go after him with a blade if he were anyone other than the king.
Pale blue eyes finally met dark sapphire and flinched away. Cailan quietly breathed, "So it is as I thought. Marlana Cousland. You're Duncan's new recruit... I don't believe it, I never thought Bryce would allow you to be recruited."
His words felt like a blow to her stomach. Bleakly she asked, "You haven't heard, Your Majesty?"
Cailan frowned at her, but it was Duncan he turned his question to. "Heard what? News from the north has been unreliable."
Fury filled her at his casual dismissal of her, but rather than say anything, she simply crossed her arms as her eyes blazed while Duncan explained the terrible events that caused him to conscript her into the Wardens. Watching the king pace back and forth in shock wasn't exactly the most encouraging sight, but she continued to wait in silence.
Over the past weeks she'd grown used to being silent. It was better than the alternative.
Shaking his pale blond head, Cailan said, "I...can scarcely believe it! How could he think he would get away with such treachery?"
Marlana answered coldly trying to keep her disdain to herself, beginning to understand why her family had been so very careful about how they spoke about the king, "Because if Howe's plan had worked, Sire, he could had fed you any story he wanted."
He stopped pacing, he met her furious eyes, and even though he flinched, he didn't turn away. "As soon as we are done here, I will turn my army north. Howe will hang, you have my word on it."
She bowed to him, "Thank you, Your Majesty." She hesitated, but forced herself to ask, "My brother, Fergus..."
"I'm sorry, he was sent into the field to do some scouting with his men. Unfortunately, there is no means of sending word to him just yet."
Icy fear clawed at her, Fergus scouting? He knew how to hunt and tell basic trail sign, but he had no skill in stealth, and he favored the heavier types of armor considering the style of fighting he favored which made an awful racket when he took even a few short steps. In the wilds, with a horde of darkspawn ravaging the area?
She swallowed back the fear, unaware of how pale she had gotten. Cailan gently rested a hand on her shoulder and said sympathetically, "I apologize that there is nothing more than I can do at this time. All I can suggest is that you vent your grief against the darkspawn for the time being."
His eyes suggested something else, though he was careful to pull his hand away from her shoulder. Fury chased away the fear and brought the color back to her face, but she managed to throttle it down again. She faded a little as Duncan and Cailan talked some more about the coming battle. Though she managed to clamp down on most of her disgust, her lips thinned slightly as the king made a comment about how glorious it was all going to be.
Then he finally left with his guards after commenting about being bored by Loghain going over strategy.
"Glorious?" She asked incredulously once the king was out of ear shot, "He thinks this is about glory?"
"Marlana", Duncan said warningly. Though in a way he was relieved to see some sort of life in her, even if it was out of anger at the king.
She sighed, "I'm sorry, Duncan. I just wasn't prepared for his...manner."
He nodded his understanding and gestured for them to continue on. From the entrance they walked through the shadowed ruins that smelled so strongly of pine and other evergreens, some of which were growing in the broken courtyards of the stronghold. They spoke briefly of what was to be done before the Joining and that there were other recruits.
Finally he left to deal with concerns that had come up during his time away, Oogie reluctantly going a long with him. He left her with permission to explore the camp, but not to leave. The thought hadn't occurred to her, where else could she go? She couldn't trust any of her father's allies since she didn't know who may have allied with Howe.
Lost in her thoughts, Marlana Cousland stood at the end of the bridge spanning the valley below as the cold mountain wind tugged at her long braid. It felt that when she finally crossed the bridge, it would be the end of her world as she knew it. Would she recognize herself once this was done?
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before slowly making her way across.
Marlana would be fine. Just fine. She wouldn't allow it to be any other way.