Sorry for how long this took (though it's not technically late!). I've been tied up with all the end of the school year madness (you know…because the teacher didn't plan well enough, resulting in them cramming way too much into the last nine weeks. Or because of all the events and awards ceremonies, or the absolutely zany schedules that the combination of AP tests, TAKS and the EOC create… ), and I've also been working on Jungle (and, to my chagrin, neglecting this fic somewhat as a consequence).

Thus, this chapter is short. Enjoy it as you will.

Where'd he get that comb from? America wondered.

"Hey, wait a minute," he said, "You're not really planning on combing my…your…THE hair out like back when I was your colony or anything, are you?"

England replied by starting to tug the comb through said hair.

"Hey! Stop that!" America protested, squirming the best he could under England's grip.

"Stay still and this'll go faster," England replied tersely, yanking the comb through a bit harshly.

"Oww!" America exclaimed. "Ow! Seriously, stop it!"

"It's just a bit of hair, America. You've been literally shot through the stomach before. How much can it hurt?"

"A LOT! That was in my body, and I was way tougher!"

"You know, I'm not that weak," England muttered. Still, he slowed down. A little.

"Look, I'm not a kid! I can do my own hair! Your hair is normally really messy, anyway!" America shouted, frustrated.

"A, you act enough like a kid to deserve to be treated as one. B, you just proved that you don't normally do your own hair and you forfeited the right to try when you came out like this. C, while a bit messy, I maintain at least some degree of order in my hair, which this does not." England punctuated the last statement with a harsh jerk. America winced and tried again to escape. It didn't work.

Okay, that was a fail. How am I going to get out of this? America asked himself. The recurring yanks spurred him to develop a plan B pretty quickly.

"JAPAANNNNNNNNN! HEEELLLLLLP!" America hollered.

Oh, lovely, England thought unenthusiastically. Hopefully Japan won't actually-

Japan nervously poked his head back into the room.

"We're doing just fine," England assured him, teeth gritted.

"NO, WE'RE NOT!" America shrieked.

"Perhaps you could be a bit more gentle, England," Japan cautiously suggested.

"No. He's going to protest like this however harshly I pull and this way it'll be done faster. If you'd like to accelerate that process, I'd greatly appreciate either some sort of conditioner that will make this smoother or some help in restraining America."

"and I would 'greatly appreciate' some help ESCAPING!"

"America," Japan began regretfully, "I-"

"Pleeeaaase?" America begged.

"Man up, America," England interrupted. "And it would be nice if you would think about the situation for a second. I doubt that Japan is strong enough to actually stop me, so any intervention would only prolong the time it takes to finish this. He's clearly smart enough to realize this, and I've explained it to you, so you should stop putting him in such a painful situation by trying to demand the impossible and just sit still. If you'd just cooperate, I'd be almost done."

"Man up? I'm sitting here getting my hair combed like a kid!"

"You've already communicated the fact that you don't like that, which is the most you could possibly do to stop it. Any further struggle is just drawing more attention to your humiliation and making it last longer. Tolerating small injustices without throwing a fit is both part of being a mature individual (not that I really expect that from you, you immature twit, but I feel obliged to at least try to improve that) and one of the best ways to get them to stop, as people are unlikely to further pursue them if they were just doing it to get a reaction," England lectured.

America was silent for a few seconds, to England's surprise. He knew better than to hope that America would actually learn from what he'd been told, but he allowed himself to be cautiously optimistic that America had actually listened, which was an improvement.

"Japan," America said completely seriously, "As an alternative to helping me escape, could you write that down somewhere?"

To say England was stunned was a bit of an understatement. If America had been paying attention and hadn't stopped squirming, he probably could've freed himself.

"…What? Why?" Japan asked, surprised.

England prepared himself for disappointment.

"Because I think it might come in handy," America grinned malevolently, "and I know I'll forget it if it's not written down."

…What the heck does he mean by that? England thought, confused and somewhat apprehensive. He decided to finish the idiot's hair and talk to him about it later.

Japan went to fetch a piece of paper. He was a bit worried about America's foreboding proclamation, but mostly just felt relieved by the less impossible request and the seemingly miraculous turnabout in America's approach to the conflict.

Japan wasn't the only one who appreciated America's sudden cooperation. True to his word, England finished pretty quickly.

"See?" England said, holding up a mirror. "Much improved."

"I don't see any difference."

"Ug, fine. I wasn't doing it for you anyway."

"Obviously."

"I think you two should get some sleep," Japan decided to interject.

"You're probably right, Japan," England replied.

"Yeah, that sounds good," America agreed.

"I believe you mentioned a guest room…?"

"Yes, this way," Japan led.

A/N

Honestly don't have much to say about this one that isn't pointless or a spoiler.

…Must get sleep…

ZZZzzz