Emily was uncharacteristically nervous as she worked her way around in the kitchen. This night had to be perfect. But everything was going wrong.
Anna and Wayne were spending the night with Paige's aunt, Miriam. They always had a fun time with her, but, for some reason, Wayne chose that night to cop an attitude about it. He turned into a hypochondriac; his head hurt, he had an earache, he was certain that he was going to throw up. In short, he didn't want to go.
Michelle took forever to go down for her nap, leaving Emily on her own at the start of dinner preparations. Paige came in to help just as Emily was sliding the roast into the oven, and Emily, startled, dropped the pan, sending the roast airborne. Emily saw it flying through the air as if in slow motion. "Noooooooo" she cried as her eyes followed its trajectory, a perfect arc, into the garbage can. It would have been one of those perfect, "America's Funniest Home Videos" moments - tragic to the person it happened to; funny to the rest of the country - if only they had captured it on video.
Emily was almost in tears. Paige took her in her arms and held her, to steady her. "Well," she said philosophically, "I guess we're eating vegan tonight!"
Something in the way she said it struck Emily as funny, and she started laughing. "At least Aria will be glad," she said with a sigh. The humor calmed her, a little, if only temporarily. "Oh, Paige," she sighed, "are we going to be okay?"
Paige kissed the top of her head. "We'll be fine. Your friends all know us, so it's not as if we have to be worried about making a good impression. And they love us, which means they'll be here for us, not for the food."
As much as Emily wanted to believe what Paige said, she still saw the night as a first impression. It was the first time that Paige and Emily were entertaining as a couple. They had been out with the girls before, and they had even cooked for them before, but this was their shot at putting together a get-together when they were officially together. They weren't doing anything lavish; it was just the three girls and their guys. But Emily wanted them to see how good she and Paige were together, and how much in love they were. It was a relationship rite of passage, of sorts. Emily had been their when (more than once) when her three best friends did it.
"I know," Emily said softly. "I just want everything to be perfect."
"That doesn't sound like you," Paige said gently. "That sounds more like me!"
"Yeah, how come you're not freaking out?" Emily asked, with a playful slap of Paige's chest. The question came out annoyed, but Emily was actually just amazed.
"Because - this is supposed to be fun." Paige cooed. "And sometimes, those nights that are disasters are the most fun. And, in any event, they're certainly the most memorable. It's like having sex with someone for the first time - sometimes it's more fun when everything goes wrong."
Emily chuckled softly. "That's not how you felt when it was our first time!"
"Yeah, but you had to admit, it was funny, looking back on it."
Emily sighed, deflated. "Why can't it be fun while it happens and fun looking back on it?"
"It will be," Paige assured her. "You just have to relax and let it happen."
Emily laughed once, before she got herself under control. "That's exactly what I told you, our first time." But Paige was not a relax-and-let-it-happen kind of person. Emily gave her a hug, taking a moment to savor the sensation. "You always know how to calm me down."
As dinnertime drew closer, Emily's nerves grew more intense. Paige could see her trembling. "Em, would you do me a favor and take a look at the guest bathroom? I never got around to checking the toilet paper and soap."
Emily smiled. "Giving me a job to take my mind off it?" It was the same technique that Emily used with the kids.
"I learned from the best..."
Emily dutifully shuffled off to check the bathroom, which clearly didn't need checking. But, even though Emily saw through Paige's strategy, it still worked. Emily took a few breaths, looking at herself in the mirror. She burst out laughing. These were her friends. It was supposed to be fun. She had no reason to be so worried.
Aria was the first to wiped her hands on a kitchen towel when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." Emily, who had been leaning on the counter surveying everything, was getting ready to get the door herself, but she deferred to Paige. It was better, she thought, for Paige to get the door. Everyone was used to thinking of it as Emily's house. Paige answering the door would subtly reinforce the message that it was their house.
Aria was the last single member of the group, after Paige and Emily got together. She pleasantly single, at least for the time being. She had taken some time to get herself together; to figure out what she wanted and didn't want during this season of her life. Her voyage of discovery had taken her to all the great Western European capitals, with plenty of time to enjoy the small, country towns along the way. Finally back in Rosewood, she was in no hurry to find someone. She didn't need someone to complete her, and she was enjoying the feeling of independence. She greeted Paige with a hug and a homemade pie. "I figured I'd leave the wine to the expert," she explained with a wink.
"Spencer?" Paige said with a laugh. Aria pointed her fingers like pistols at Paige, signifying she'd gotten it right.
Spencer and Toby weren't far behind Aria, bearing wine and cheese, to no one's surprise. Paige opened the bottle to let it breathe, and Emily arranged the cheese plate. "How is it I've never met you before?" Paige asked, when Spencer introduced her to Toby.
"Yeah - it's about time," Spencer chimed in.
Hanna and Caleb were, predictably, the last to arrive. Emily, in an attempt to get them there on-time (or close to on-time, anyway) had told Hanna that dinner was at 6, even though she told Spencer and Aria 6:30. Unfortunately, she had played that card once too often, and Hanna was wise to it. She made it a point to be late, just to let Emily know that she couldn't be duped.
All of the mini-crises that had gotten Emily so worried turned out to be nothing, in the grand scheme of things - or even in the moment. Dinner went off without a hitch, and all of their friends got a chance to see how good she and Paige were together.
When it was over, and Paige and Emily were cleaning up, Paige noticed that Emily was back to being her old self, moving joyfully and rhythmically through the kitchen, sharing the occasional memory from the evening as she did. She had been energized by the time with her friends - and her girlfriend. it was great to see.
"You really wanted to be on Team Spencer," Emily teased, stroking a finger across Paige's cheek with an iridescent smile.
After dinner, they had pulled out the game "Taboo," with each of the couples forming a team. Aria, being single, floated among the teams, guessing along with whichever team was giving clues.
Paige chuckled nervously. "Team Spencer?" she said, affecting pure innocence with her tone. "Why would you say that?"
"I saw you," Emily proclaimed good-naturedly, in a slight sing-song voice. "I saw you rolling your eyes and digging your fingers into your thigh whenever Toby and Aria didn't pick up on one of her clues."
"Oh, my goodness, Em!" Paige was suddenly animated. "She was giving such obvious clues! How could they not have picked up on them?"
"Obvious to you, maybe!" Emily swatted at Paige's shoulder. "Seriously, what is this weird connection that the two of you have? I swear, it's as if you were twins, separated at birth, or something." Emily waved her hand dismissively.
Paige drew herself in close, taking hold of Emily's elbows. In her deepest, raspy voice, she intoned, "Are you jealous?"
Emily laughed at the suggestion. There may have been a time when she was, but not anymore; not since she knew that Paige was all hers. "No..." she cooed in response to Paige's question. She put her arms on Paige's shoulders. "I don't have any reason to be jealous. Not when I'm the only one who can do this."
Emily reached underneath Paige's curtain of hair, stroking a spot on the back of her neck with her fingers. Paige's knees went weak, and her stomach fluttered. "Oh, God!" she moaned desperately.
No one else had ever found that spot. Not even Trevor, in all their time together, had found that spot. Paige herself hadn't known that it existed. And maybe it didn't exist, before Emily. Maybe it was simply lying dormant, like some ancient monster in a horror movie, flash-frozen in a pre-historic ice age and lying suspended throughout several millennia, until just the right conditions aroused her.
Paige wasn't capable of deep thoughts like that (or even shallow thoughts), in that moment. All the blood had drained from her brain. Emily could feel the warmth against her, in the region to which the blood had been re-routed. In those moments, there was only one thing that Paige's mind could manage. There was no other possible outcome.
The next thing Emily knew, she was in Paige's arms, her legs flailing wildly as Paige carried her off to bed. "Paige!" she protested desperately, "What about the dishes?"
"They can wait," Paige growled.
That wasn't the Paige Emily knew. That was Primal Paige, and Primal Paige was just what Emily needed; the perfect ending to a wonderful evening.
Emily knew that Paige would be back in the kitchen in the early hours, when she knew that Emily was too deep in sleep to be roused by the clacking of the dishes as she washed them. That was the Paige Emily knew. But there, falling as if in slow motion onto the bed, her heart beating out of control in anticipation of Paige falling on top of her a breath or so later, the only thing that mattered was that Paige was hers.
"We're here, Michelle!"
"Michelle, we're here!"
Anna and Wayne spoke almost in unison as they turned towards the car seat that sat between them in the back of the van to announce that they had arrived at the zoo. Not that Michelle understood what the zoo was, or even that her name was Michelle. Anna and Wayne were undeterred by that.
Paige had originally made arrangements for her aunt to watch Michelle for the day - something that she was more than eager to do - but Anna and Wayne insisted. They wanted to show their little sister all of the animals and the attractions that had captivated them at the zoo. They had been like that with her since the when day she came home from the hospital, and they insisted that Paige place her carrier in front of the TV, so that she could watch their favorite show, "Little Einsteins."
After they paid their admission, Paige stopped off to pick up a map. The children were perfectly content to run around willy nilly, but Paige wanted to make a plan, so that they would maximize their time there.
It didn't work out that way, though; in the end, she gave in to their need to run around and be met by surprise after surprise.
"Do you want to go to the insectarium?" Emily said leaning closer to Paige, in a voice that was supposed to sound sexy.
Paige laughed it off. "Don't worry, Em," she said, still smiling. "You're not going to have to go in there today."
"But I don't want to deprive the kids of that... They loved it so much, the last time."
"Yeah, they did," Paige said whimsically. "But we're not chaperones, this time. If they want to go, I can go with them. You can stay out here with Michelle."
Emily took hold of Paige's hand, because Paige didn't seem to be getting the point. "I think it's time for me to face my fears. Be brave for the kids' sake."
Paige choked out a laugh. "Is this some cheap trick to get me to hold your hand?" she teased. "Because, you know you can hold my hand whenever you want. You don't have to use insects as an excuse."
Emily's protest cam a little to forcefully. "No!" she practically shouted. Not anymore. Not after you made me feel silly for wanting to relive that moment. She let go of Paige's hand abruptly.
Emily had never forgotten that first day at the zoo, or that feeling of her hand being held by Paige. She had been on pins and needles the whole day. And then, when Paige took her hand, it felt so incredible. What was so wrong with wanting to recreate that feeling?
But Paige wasn't sentimental like that. And Emily decided that it was okay. It wasn't worth pouting over. Paige was incredible in so many other ways.
Paige reached for Emily's hand, but Emily had crossed her arms around her waist, so Paige's reach came up empty. She put her arm around Emily's shoulder, instead. "That day was such a revelation to me," she said wistfully, looking up at the sky. "I wanted to hold your hand so badly, but I couldn't make a move. And then, when you said that you were afraid of insects... It was as if the heavens parted and an angelic choir started singing."
Emily looked down with a shy smile and unfolded her arms, taking Paige's hand.
"Wow," Paige said, looking heavenward. "Is that a choir I hear?"
"I really was afraid, by the way," Emily said. "It wasn't just an excuse to hold your hand."
"Oh, no kidding?" Paige's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Paige had gotten used to Emily's blood-curdling screams, whenever she came across something in the house that crawled, beckoning Paige or whoever else happened to be within earshot to come and take care of it.
And taking care of it definitely did not mean killing it. Paige learned that the hard way, the first time she rescued Emily from a bug. Emily spent the rest of the night fighting off tears, feeling unremitting guilty that her fears had resulted in the death of one of God's creatures. Paige learned to be adept at catch-and-release - coaxing the tiny intruder onto a piece of paper or into a jar, to set it free in the backyard.
"Oh, man," Paige said, slightly out of breath. "How can this be harder with only three of them than it was with their whole class?" She detoured to a bench to fan herself and catch her breath.
"Haven't quite bounced back from the pregnancy yet, have you?" Emily teased, knowing full well what a sore point that was for Paige. Paige liked to think of herself as invincible; immortal, but the truth of the matter was that she was tired all the time. Anybody would be, after carrying a child for nine months, ten hours of labor, and the disruptions to the sleep cycle that come with a newborn. Paige had no reason to be ashamed. Still, Emily enjoyed teasing her about it. She knew that she wouldn't be have that to hold over Paige's head much longer. Paige had already started getting back into the gym and the pool.
"Ha ha ha," Paige said dryly. "If I weren't so exhausted, I'd get you for that!"
Emily crinkled her nose in apology and took a seat next to Paige. "Well, actually, it's different with a group of children. They tend to amuse themselves, rather than demanding so much attention from the adults."
Paige chuckled and looked at Emily, a little amazed. "You never told me you studied Early Childhood Education."
"I didn't," Emily said with a straight face. "They taught us that in Criminal Justice. That's why we try to keep the Rosewood Jail full of inmates - they practically supervise themselves!"
It had taken Emily a while to get used to Paige's dry sense of humor, but, once she did, she figured out how to give it right back to Paige. Paige reach over to hug her, pleasantly surprised that Emily was joking that way, and enjoying their time together, before the children needed their attention.
One advantage of going as a family rather than with the class was that they were able to do things that wouldn't have worked with a large group, like letting Anna and Wayne ride the ponies, and paddling around the pond in the duck boats. Not only were these activities fun for the kids, but they provided a bit of rest for Paige and Emily.
It was really the perfect afternoon, Emily thought: The two of them, a stroller, and kids running around at their side. It was a great family outing, even though she knew that most people would assume that they were just two long-time friends, visiting the zoo together with their kids, while their husbands worked on their cars or went fishing or something. In some sense, it didn't seem fair that people would assume that they weren't a couple. Emily understood, though. After all, their children didn't look like siblings. Anna looked like her, and Wayne looked like Paige. The jury was out on Michelle, but it was obvious that she wasn't going to get the darker skin and hair that Emily had.
It wasn't important what other people thought; they knew that they were a family. It just seemed like a shame.
Emily linked arm with Paige's, perhaps because of the subconscious wish to send a signal that they were together. Paige switched to maneuvering Michelle's stroller with one hand. "What are you thinking about?"
Emily sighed. "Just how lucky we are."
"Mmm... We really are, aren't we?"
Anna and Wayne still had some energy in reserve when they headed for the zoo's gift shop on their way out of the zoo. They enjoyed trying out the masks and the toys that made animal sounds, and they found about a thousand soft, stuffed animals that they thought would be perfect for Michelle. It was pretty much the way that Emily had envisioned ending a family day at the zoo, back when she had dreamed about it during the class' field trip. She kind of wished that they were on that trip again, so that she could fall asleep with her head on Paige's shoulder on the ride home.