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[BITTERSWEET CATASTROPHE]

chapter twenty-five

anything but civil

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Koushiro hadn't been born rich, but he had been born a genius.

His hard work had paid off in the end, as he had invested most of his childhood and adolescence pouring over complex coding, and spending his time programming, which had gotten him to where he currently is today. People would have laughed at him prior to his success, taking for granted the silent, tech-savvy kid, with spiky hair, navy-brimmed spectacles, and a hunched back, as he'd work his slim fingers speedily across the keyboard, typing excessive amounts of characters that is was almost impossible for the human eye to trace.

Nobody would have expected Koushiro to grow up into such a wealthy man, or to look taller with his straighter back (after episodes of back pain had forced him to see a physio who had constantly drilled him with exercises to fix his posture). He had resorted to replacing his glasses with contacts, which made his eyes shine brighter and ever so handsomely. Additionally, his once nearly-empty bank account was now overflowing with funds, that would make the combination of Mimi, Hikari, Miyako and my own savings bunched together look like a needle in a haystack when compared to him.

And despite the four of us girls fatefully never going to top Koushiro's wealth in our lifetimes, here we were in the middle of the mall, browsing unnecessarily through dresses that were beyond our spending range.

"Does this look too simple for a thirtieth?" Hikari held up a simple pale pink dress against her front, arm dangling over her body as she stretched it high above her head to prevent the dress from sweeping the marble, tiled floor.

Mimi replies, "It's long. There's nothing flashy about it. Doesn't even show any cleavage, Hikari. If you're going for the Virgin Mary look, then it's you."

Hikari glares at Mimi, causing Miyako and I to laugh in hysterics.

We're shopping for Koushiro's birthday. He's the next up to bat to turn thirty, and he's going all out by hosting it at one of the most expensive bars in Ginza. I'm sure it wasn't Koushiro's idea though. He's not the flashy type. I'd say Taichi would have had a word with him, encouraging Kou to celebrate. It's not often you turn thirty; or so I've been told by everybody. Parties may not be my thing, but it's Koushiro's special day and it's been a while since our group of friends had gone out.

Besides, us girls haven't been shopping together for ages.

Yes, you heard right – we're actually all free! It's nice to have all schedules coincide together for once. Sure, we've had our fair share of stay-in movie nights, but actually going out...well, the last time I recall that we ever did something like this was on my birthday.

"I think this looks better on you, Hikari," Miyako suggests, forcing a floral patterned dress into the mother's arms.

At least the dress; length isn't as long as the last one. The dress is brushing moderately over Hikari's knees, and is splashed in a floral peach, blush and fuchsia pattern that predominantly contrasts with the white material, making it not too overbearing. I kinda wanted to pick that particular dress up for myself, but oh well...it probably suits Hikari more anyway. I've never been into patterns. They clash against me, especially with my token red hair.

Talking about red, Mimi's eying a glamorous strapless, wine coloured mermaid dress with a sweetheart neckline cut. It's her style, and I know that her boobs will fill up the dress well. Mimi's always had the best curves out of all of us.

She catches my gaze and I give her the thumbs up.

"Try it on, Meems."

Mimi grins, snatching the dress from the rack and currying into the change rooms. Hikari is close behind her, while Miyako and I linger back on our own hunt to find dresses for ourselves.

I don't know why Miyako's taking long to find one. She's one of those people who will look good in anything from the rack, often purchasing clothing without even trying it on. She mightn't have the curves that Mimi possesses, but Miyako does rock a model body being the tallest and slimmest amongst us girls. Sometimes, I think, that if she hadn't become a nurse, she could have easily found herself a job in the modelling anywhere. I'm not joking; anything Miyako wears looks good!

"If you're having trouble, maybe go for something black?" I advise. Black is the safest go-to after all and if it does look plain, Miyako can always accessorise a black dress with jewellery.

Miyako nods, taking my suggestion as she begins to rummage through the copious amounts of black dresses. Since I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I help her out too. She settles for a ebony, off-the-shoulder dress. The length is short, falling over half her thighs, but short dresses have always been Miyako's thing, and it shows off her killer long legs. She picks a size that looks to big for her, so I hand her a smaller size. She takes both the dresses in case, draping them over her arm as she joins the other girls in the change rooms.

I'm on my own now, leaving the whole store for me to freely browse. Don't get me wrong, I do love shopping with my friends...but I also don't mind going shopping on my own too. That, and well, I'm picky. Even if the girls were to pick a dress for me, I would most likely argue against them until my face turns blue.

As the nights are getting colder, I opt to search for a comfortable midnight-blue jumpsuit. Over the top part of the dress, there is intricate lace over the jumpsuit, but the sleeves only consist of lace, therefore making my arms visible if I were to wear it. The pants of the jumpsuit is a straight-cut. It looks sophisticated, yet not too casual – something I definitely get away with at the extravagant party whilst being comfortable. (Comfort matters, OK?)

The change rooms are full when I get there. I try to locate my friends. The retail assistant is giving me an amused look as I bend over to find out which cubicles my friends have taken over. I can see two sets of legs under beneath the crack under one of the doors in one of the rooms, which evidently belong to Mimi and Hikari – especially when I hear Mimi's voice say to Hikari, 'Do my breasts look big?', with Hikari murmuring back, 'They always look big because they are big."

I narrow my eyes to the next room, lowering down to the door gap to spot Miyako's worn-out leather handbag sitting on the ground. Knocking on the door, I demand, "Let me in, Miyako."

The four of us are not ashamed about sharing change rooms. From all the countless drunken nights we've had together, and then subsequently stripping each other from their clothing and into pyjamas; let's just say we're used to it.

"Uh..." I raise an eyebrow. For some reason she's hesitating. Miyako's always been the most comfortable about her body – especially since she's the nurse and deals with nudity on a frequent basis.

I start to complain just because I want to be annoying too, "Come on Miyako, all the other rooms are full-"

The door squeaks slightly open, and I take this a sign to squeeze into the tiny cubicle with the dress. I'm about to ask Miyako what took her so long, until I see her in the dress.

I gape.

Miyako looks beautiful. Gorgeous, actually. The off the shoulder dress compliments her quaint collarbone. Her figures fits perfectly in the dress, accenting her hips, bust and – well, the thing that I'm gaping at.

"Sora, I-"

My hands are already on her stomach. It's barely there, but she's protruding lightly and it's not the gaining weight kind of tummy either.

"You're preg-"

Miyako claps a hand over my mouth. I was wondering why she had been wearing baggy clothing for the past months. And the reason why she had picked a larger sized dress...and the fact she was taking forever to make a selection. Oh – and how she's been avoiding alcohol!

My eyes are wide, pointing at her. Miyako shakes her head, pleading. And, because I'm stronger, and I can't contain myself, I fight out of her clutches and yell, "Girls! Get in here! Miyako's pregnant!"

"WHAT?" Mimi shrilly shrieks.

A moment later, they're pounding on our cubicle door. I let them in, shutting the door behind them and glimpsing the even more amused look spread on the sales person's face.

Hikari's beaming so hard that she begins to cry. She sniffs, "My kids will finally have playmates."

"You bet me to it as well!" Mimi groans, but gives her a tight, suffocating hug. "I thought you've been acting weird lately. Now I know the reason!"

"Congrats, Miyako." I hug the two girls, and Hikari adds her embrace in.

It's like we're in the middle of a huddle before a football game, but our dirty uniforms are replaced with pricey cocktail dresses.

They're my girls. They make me whole. Even if everything falls apart around me I know that I have them; and they're more than enough.

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He's so cute.

Hiroto is dressed in a mini tuxedo that suits his equally mini body. "Hi Aunty Sora!" he exclaims when he sees me. His little feet patter against the wooden flooring, appearing in front of me and bending his small back to bow at me.

I squat down to his level, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Prince Charming."

Hiroto moves closer to me, pressing his soft lips against my cheek. Goodness. This boy is quite the charmer indeed. Did I mention how cute he is? I'm tempted to pinch his cheeks, but I refrain from doing it as I remember how my mother did the same thing to me as a kid...and look how I turned out!

I stand up on my two feet again, slightly wobbly from the heels. As I regain my balance, Takeru chuckles, "Stop womanising your aunt, Hiroto." He must have seen the whole spectacle. He puts his two hands on each of Hiroto's shoulders, kissing his head of ash-blond hair. "Good evening Sora. You look amazing."

"Talking about womanising," Hikari snorts, materialising besides Takeru and bumping his side with her hip.

"Where are the rest of your children?"

Takeru looks down at his son, frowning. He puts his hands over Hiroto's ears so that he can't hear Takeru speaking. "My mother's babysitting this time. Keita and Risa are already asleep, but we couldn't get rid of this one. He's too stubborn. He really wanted to come. I was hoping to be childless for the night."

"And Takeru's just sulky because he doesn't get to drink tonight because he's designated driver," Hikari grins.

Takeru scowls at his wife, "Evil woman."

Hiroto escapes from Takeru's grasp, sprinting to the other side of the venue room. Mimi's waving him over. She giggles as she picks him up and sits him on her lap.

"The betrayal," I cry out, dramatically.

"What betrayal?" Koushiro pips in. He's holding a pint of frothing beer, face already flushed from the amount of alcohol that everybody at the party keeps buying him. I step forward, fixing his collar because it's not sitting properly around his neck.

"Nothing, birthday boy. Maybe I'm just betrayed that you still haven't introduced your girlfriend to us," I say out of spite.

Takeru adds, "I agree on that one."

"She's hot. I've met her," Taichi says. He leans down to kiss his sister on the cheek, before also planting a wet one on my cheek too. I scrunch my nose. "Tai! Stop being gross."

Koushiro tells me, "Oh Sora! I opened your present already. Thanks for the tie. Purple's my favourite colour."

"My pleasure," I smile, even going to the extent to do a curtsy for him. I had given the present to Koushiro when I had arrived, being one of the first guests to help him set everything up, alongside Taichi and Mimi.

Koushiro wasn't joking when he said he'd rent out the whole venue. It's a rooftop bar on top of a hotel in Ginza. There's even an infinity pool, with the water appearing dazzling as it reflects the abundant amount of city lights. My thirtieth suddenly feels foolish when compared to Koushiro's birthday. Then again, I don't think I could ever afford spending this much on my birthday and I had only wanted to be with the girls that night.

"Yamato's here!" Koushiro looks from over my shoulder.

Shit...

My throat dries up, fingers curling around my glass of pear cider. Calm down. I slowly inhale and exhale through my nose. I haven't seen him for what...almost seven months? I've been doing well avoiding many joint friend events, but from the sound of things – I hear that Yamato hadn't been attending any of them. He's been making himself scarce amongst our friends, only selectively choosing to hang out with boys.

I shouldn't be shocked by him being here. Koushiro's also his good friend. One of these days, I knew that I'd be bound to see him again. We have too many mutual friends. I couldn't ignore Yamato forever. I promised myself I wouldn't get hurt by him anymore, but seeing him in person...it aches. It fucking hurts.

"Happy Birthday, Kou." Yamato says, voice husky.

Koushiro simpers. "Thanks for coming, Yamato."

I don't want to look at him, but there's something different about him. His eyes are the same cerulean blue, hair still dishevelled, but...I frown. He looks gaunt. Has he even slept? His dress top and bottoms are heavily creased and his shoes...is he seriously wearing sneakers at this formal event?

Yamato surveys the rest of us. He nods wordless hellos to everybody in our standing circle, but when he sees me he freezes. He doesn't acknowledge me and looks away. If Yamato wants to act that way, so be it. I'm trying to be civil, but he's being an ass. There's no point of this. Taichi notices the diss, but I shrug off, stalking away from the group to scoot on the booth where Mimi and Miyako are sitting.

Mimi's sipping on a margarita, and I can see Miyako glaring at her own glass of iced water, hoping that it would change into an alcoholic beverage as well. Hiroto's gone walkabout again because it seems like he's playing a game of stalking Koushiro now, tugging the celebrant by his tailcoat.

I force a smile. "What are you ladies talking about?"

"Names," Mimi replies, matter-of-factly. "I reckon it's a girl, so we should brainstorm girl names."

Miyako giggles. "Why are you certain?"

"Because you have a truckload of sisters. The chance is higher that you'll get a daughter."

"It's based on Jyou. The sperm's the deciding factor," Hikari tells us, sliding next to Miyako.

We all chortle in laughter, but to be honest...I'm not feeling it. I want to be elated for Miyako, I really do. Yet, how can I when Yamato's wandered in? All I want to do is pick up my purse and leave.

Mimi flips her wavy hair over her shoulder, giggling, "Maybe, Miyako, I'll pray for you that the sperm results in a girl?"

"I don't want a girl!" Miyako snaps. "I want a boy."

Even with make-up and her floral dress, there's no hiding the exhaustion in her face. Then again, on top of having three children she does look after other people's children too. Hkari responds, "Boys are overrated."

"Tell me about it." I rest my head in my hands, breathing out.

Hikari looks at me. I had forgotten she was there when Yamato had snubbed me off.

This makes me sit up and hastily drain the rest of my cider. I'm in a hurry because I'm a sitting duck once Hikari starts questioning me. The girls' will be in unnecessary interrogation fest and, frankly, I'm really not in the mood for it.

I ask, "Anybody else want another drink?"

"I'm good." Mimi raises her margarita that's half empty. Miyako shakes her head and Hikari motions at her full glass of bubbling champagne.

At the bar, I order umeshu on the rocks. I shouldn't be mixing drinks, but I don't want another cider. As the bartender's about to charge me for the drink, my spontaneity gets the best of me.

"Can you I have a shot of vodka too, please?"

"One shot?" The bartender surveys me, curiously.

I confirm that it's for myself. "One shot."

Screw it. It's Koushiro's birthday, Miyako's pregnant and Yamato's here. It's a triple celebration and knowing that Yamato is currently in the same area as I am, boy, do I need a drink. I pay for it and glance at the clear shot in the minuscule glass. It looks harmless, almost looking like water. However, the saying to not judge a book by its cover can be applied to vodka. Looks can be deceiving, especially whenever it comes to alcohol.

The vodka shot burns down my throat, leaving a trail of dread to the pit of my stomach. The thing about shots is that you don't think (well, more in my case) much of it when you take it...it's more the after taste and the feeling you get from it that makes you think of immediate regret.

I take a sip of the plum wine, washing away the remnants of the vodka.

"Tough day?"

The voice is coming from my right, so I angle my head to the direction and inwardly groan when I notice that it's Taichi. He gives me a knowing look. Although as dimwitted and unobservant Taichi is at times, there are some rare moments when he does tend to pick something out of the norm, and right now he's looking at the empty shot glass then at me.

He hails the bartender back to our side of the bar, ordering a jug of beer. He's waiting for my reply. I could leave him, but I stay glued on the stop next to him. In all honesty, I'd rather be standing here with Taichi than being fussed over by the girls. At least it's only one person; and it is Taichi. I can handle Taichi well on his own.

However, it's what he says next that surprises me.

"I don't know what happened with you and Yamato, but if it helps," Taichi reveals, "I'm not talking to him either."

This is new information to me. I hadn't heard from anybody that Taichi and Yamato had been arguing. Or perhaps it was in my friends' interests not to utter his name in front of me. I don't like that they're not talking to each other. Taichi and Yamato have a long history together and for them to be on non-speaking terms doesn't sound right.

I find my voice. "How long for?"

"A few months," Taichi responds. "I actually didn't expect him to make it tonight."

"Why?"

Taichi is reluctant at first, but then discloses quietly, "He's been unstable lately. I've never seen him act so despondent...I don't know if you know, but he gets these depressive phases and whenever Yamato goes through them, he's hard to hang out with..."

"Then shouldn't you be there for him?" I query. I may still be frustrated with Yamato, but I didn't like to think of him being alone. Nobody should deserve that.

"Trust me, I try. I've got my own threshold that I can only take too, Sora," Taichi remarks. "But I don't know, this time he's become more difficult. I think it's his band members and some people he hangs out with in that industry. The celebrity life is so toxic. Sometimes, I think, it brings the worst out of him."

"Why are you telling me this?" I close my eyes.

"I thought you'd want to know."

I open my eyes, glaring at Taichi. "I don't."

"If we're both angry at him, I want you to at least see the whole picture. Sora, you kinda brought him back for a bit." Taichi is distractedly looking down at the bubbling jug of beer. "He used to be as loud, as rowdy as I...then his father died. And he went quiet. Yamato does have his depressive phases, he's had them ever since high school-but it really hit him hard when his father died and the band separated."

I don't want to know this now. Yamato could have told me this himself. Why hadn't he told me? The more I know about him, I find myself realising that this particular musician has been harbouring many secrets. And, what makes it disturbing, is that he reveals what he wants to reveal to everybody. If he wasn't a musician, perhaps he could pursue a career in acting – the darn asshole.

"Sometimes he says things he doesn't mean," Taichi continues. "He does things he doesn't mean."

Does things? Right...

"You know what, Taichi?" I speak up. My tone pitches louder with each word I speak, anger seeping through me. I thought I'd passed through this infuriated, petty feeling – but seeing Yamato has triggered me again. Yamato is making me blood boil. My emotions are tossing between rage and heartache. "I don't care. Just because he's feeling shit doesn't mean he needs to take it out on others. We all go through our own struggles and battle hand-in-hand with our own demons, but that doesn't give him an excuse to do whatever the fuck he pleases."

Taichi is taken back from my outburst. His eyes, startled. "Sora, I-"

"I need some fresh air, Tai."

"Alone?"

"Yes," I hiss.

I stride past him, feeling slightly pained when I glimpse the guilty look on Taichi's facial expression. It's not his fault. I'll tell him that later. I just want to get out of here. I'm craving to be outside so that I can take a breath of fresh air. Being in this function room is preventing me from doing that. I feel claustrophobic, I need to escape. I need to-

"GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"

The yell frightens me, making me lose track of my train of thoughts. I linger barely besides the balcony glass doors. Just as I had finally managed to almost make my way outside, in plans to hover around the pool area, I can't because somebody else is occupying the section...and whoever it is does not sound happy.

"Why are you even here?" The voice persisted, a voice I immediately recognise to be Takeru's. I frown. Takeru, maddened? That's not right. It can't be.

"You wanted me here." It's Yamato's hoarse voice.

Great. I've stumbled across a sibling argument. I want to leave, but I can't bring myself to. It's not like Takeru to blow a fuse. In fact, I don't think I've ever witness Takeru lose his cool.

"Sure, make appearances for Koushiro but not like this. Not when you're pissed off your face, and not when your nephew is here too! Goddamnit, Yamato. You're becoming like dad-"

"Don't talk about dad when you don't know anything about him! Mother's the one that made him lose it!" Takeru's right. Yamato is drunk. Even his way of speaking sounds slurred, and abrupt, not conversing in his usual calm and collected form of speech.

Takeru retorts, tone livid, "Don't blame mother for anything. Our parents grew apart, you know that. They were happier when they divorced. Why do you have to talk about this now? You had years to bring this up, and now you speak of this?"

"Maybe I want to talk about it now," Yamato attempts to egg him on, laughing cruelly.

He wants to start a fight, and I'm worried Takeru will take the bait. But Takeru immediately figures it out. Takeru lets out a loud, sigh.

"Darn it, Yamato. Just sober up, will you?"

Yamato's brother charges past me, not even realising that I've been listening in the whole time. Nevertheless, despite being clearly drunk, Yamato seems to have noticed my presence. He drawls, "I know you're there."

My body stiffens. I want to retreat, but my feet won't listen to me. But then again, why do I have to leave? This party, this venue is for everybody. If I wanted some fresh air, Yamato can't hog it all and – God, I'm such a coward. He doesn't have the right to make me feel like this, but I feel like I'm going to fall apart. After all those of months of pulling myself back together, being in his mere presence has shaken me.

Yamato dares to address me, "Miss Takenouchi?"

But, like I said earlier, Yamato is somebody I'll have to always come across. I can't hide forever. Although he had failed to acknowledge me, he seems to want to speak to me now. We don't have to be anything. We can be acquaintances, or in the long run, even friends. We're adults; the least we could be is civil.

I take a step outside. The breeze prickles my skin, making me shiver. It's not from the coldness though. It's from the way his eyes are piercing through me, in that strong unwavering gaze he's always possessed.

"Yamato? It's been a while."

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(a/n) This was kinda hard to write? I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I'm just glad I've posted this up prior to the latest Tri movie being released. Nevertheless, Yamato's made an appearance once again. Miyako's pregnant. And we finally get some Sora/Yamato interaction coming up in the next chapter. There are bound to be typos (as per usual), but I'll fix them up another time.

Thanks for reading! xox

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REVIEW REPLIES:

Marissaaaa: i feel awkward that you read my old story 'Limitz' because it makes me cringe so much. haha. thanks for dropping by to review, and it's glad to know that an old reader is also reading my old/new stories as well. :)

LILFOC: Jyou is definitely amazing ;)

Ana Mara: I still like Sebastian as a name! I've been actually wanting an excuse to use that name for one of my stories one day, and the name found its appearance in this story xD I'm glad you're enjoying Lifelines too. Yamato is definitely more fleshed out in that story (considering it's from his POV) in contrast to in Bittersweet

Dikus: Sora's quite fragile. On the outside, to other people, she appears more stronger. But yes..this is her POV, so there are a lot of her flaws that are made apparent. Jun x Sora interaction is quite fun to write :D Don't worry, Yamato will come back. Thanks for understanding. I've had a lot of things going on too xD Haha. Thanks for reading!

(will reply to the logged-in reviews later on today/this week)