"He'll be fine, your my toys right now, no one will touch him," I promised, guiding him upstairs. We got to my room and I flipped on a single lamp. It was dark in here, I hadn't bothered opening the curtains at all in the last few days. I liked the illusion of privacy that my room offered.
"What no ropes or chains?" Dean retorted when I dropped down onto my bed. He'd closed the door, locking it and probably expecting me to lock him down or something.
"Dean, the entire house will know in under a minute if you two step out of line. Even less if you try to take off. So no, we don't really need to lock you up," I said, more then a little tired. I would love to sleep right about now.
He looked kind of weird just standing in the center of the room so I rolled onto my stomach and put my arms under my head, leaving room for him if he chose to sit down on the bed rather then the table. Closing my eyes I yawned a little, I was really tired now, it was late and I hadn't slept in two days.
"Are you still Mara?" Dean asked quietly, and I realized his voice had neared. I felt the bed dip and opened my eyes to see that Dean had tensely laid down on his back next to me.
"No," I said, letting my eyes slip closed. "The Mara you know died, I just wear her face and body."
"You still seem like Mara, only more bloodthirsty," he said quietly, "I mean, you haven't hurt us, and I know Mara wouldn't try to hurt us, or at least, not badly."
"If you say so," I said evenly.
"Why haven't you asked about Bella?" he asked after a moment of thoughtful silence.
"Am I supposed to?" I said in the same half hearted tone. I was dying with curiosity, but I knew Dean wouldn't resist bringing it up. All so curious if I was still Mara. But no, Mara was fading.
"You know why we were in Ashland, you left that message for her, rather then wait for us. You know we were arrested leaving, and yet you haven't asked about whether or not Bella was hurt or arrested. You don't make any sense," he said finally, sounding more then a little exasperated. I kept from tensing, I knew she might've been arrested, but I didn't think she'd be hurt or anything. If she was arrested, it would only be a matter of hours before the pack busted her out.
"When have I ever made sense?" I retorted, amused.
"So you don't care whatsoever that Bella was shot in the chest and carried away in a helicopter?" he retorted in the most judgemental, condescending tone I'd ever heard come from him.
"We'd know if Bella was dead or not Dean. We'd feel it," I'd feel it, my mind added mentally. Even if I wasn't demonic or whatever, I'd feel her death.
"So your not worried about her at all?" he asked, and I looked up to see him shaking his head as if he were disgusted with me. "She fucking loves you Mara. First you break her heart and then rip apart your family. Then when you die, you just bail on us. The people that care about you are worried sick and then when your girlfriend is shot and arrested searching for you, you couldn't care less."
"Bella and I aren't together anymore Dean. In case you haven't noticed, dying changes a person. Want to know what I felt when I woke up?" he looked unsure now, "nothing. I felt nothing. I feel nothing and when I do feel, it's only to tear shit apart. You can't beat us Dean. Not without first feeling the things we do. Maybe then you'd stop questioning me and asking me why I no longer care about people I loved just weeks ago."
"I have died, more then once and I've felt less then nothing too you know, but I didn't torture my family and try to destroy the world because of it."
"I guess that's where were different. You think I care about the world we live in? It's slowly falling apart on it's own and it's just a matter of time before society implodes. When it does, I'll be at the root of it all. Give up Dean, because you can't beat me. Nothing has ever beat me. And nothing ever will."
"Your brother beat you," he said coldly, "and whatever you sick freaks have planned. I'll stop it. I don't care what I have to do. But I will. Because I don't have a choice. You haven't given any of us a choice and if I have to kill you, I fucking will."
"I'm terrified," I said in a bored flat tone. I sat up a little, giving him a long sigh. "Dean, I'm not going anywhere. I get what you want from me. I know what everyone wants from me. I know what Bella and the pack wants, I know what my brother wants, what the FBI and what everyone else wants. It all boils down to one single thing. They all want me. But as I said, I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't even if I wanted to and I don't. I belong here. I belong with my brother." The words sounded a little hollow and I didn't bother keeping the strained sound from my voice. It was an obvious lie, but the fact that I said it would bother Dean regardless of how real it was.
"Your fucked," he said standing, and began pacing the room. "I don't want to kill you Mara, but it sounds like you want me to."
"I'm already dead, so why not? You like to kill monsters, think of me as a zombie with really good hygiene," he gave me the weirdest look now and I burst out laughing. "Dean this is going to end one of two ways, and quite frankly, I'm going to be dead either way. So, you know, quit spazzing."
"Are your suicidal or something?" he asked groaning, as I reminded him of my impending death. I was still going to die after all. For good. One way ticket to hell.
"No, it's just a simple fact. I'm not afraid of dying. I send dozens of other people into the next life, I'm not afraid of death. I never have been."
"Your going to die, and the last thing your going to do in this world is destroy your family?"
"This is my family now," I said shrugging once. I couldn't care less if my new family died.
Someone knocked on the door and a second later Marcus had picked the lock and strolled in. "What's with all the shouting?" Adrian asked, coming in from around the corner.
"Dean's having a hissy fit," I said amused.
"I thought your family was dead," Dean said staring at Marcus and we all kind of shared weird looks. "How come the angels don't know about you?"
"Your kind of slow aren't you?" Adrian asked unimpressed.
"Where do you think we've been getting orders from. Angels," I said as if it were obvious. Now he just looked lost.
"What? That's impossible. Angels aren't evil."
"Nobody said anything about them being evil. So where are the psychic kids?" Marcus asked, turning his attention to me.
"Didn't ask yet. Jesus, we've only been up here a few minutes," I said rolling my eyes. Adrian came towards the bed, dropping down onto it and laying with his arms under his head, looking totally at ease. Demons were freaking weird.
Adrian just always seemed to be as cool as a cucumber and sometimes I envied that. I used to be so good at being calm and collected. Or maybe I did look that way and I just didn't see it because I was always freaked out over something.
"Get off my bed," I said finally, glaring at him a little.
"You and I are going to spend some one-on-one time," was all he said shrugging.
"What?" I nearly shouted, my gaze shooting to Marcus. "What the fuck Marcus!"
"Tomorrows going to be difficult. I need you at your best," Marcus said evenly. Then turned to Dean. "Go find your brother." But Dean wasn't looking at Marcus, he was looking at my panicked expression with worry. Marcus practically shoved Dean out the door.
"Mara?" he asked warily and very much confused, standing in the doorway.
"Just go," I nearly shouted at him, he looked even more worried and the door slammed closed and locked, Adrian's parlor tricks probably. I started shouting again. "This is bullshit. I can handle tomorrow Marcus!"
"No, you can't. Your exhausted and were leaving in less then three hours. Danielle will be able to get it out of Dean when she wakes up. You'll feel better. I can see your reluctance about attacking them and I need you focused."
"I'll be fine Marcus, I don't need it," I said, sounding more desperate then I'd meant to. God, this was pathetic. Here, I'm supposed to be convincing the world I'm an evil monster chick and I choke up at the first sign of trouble. I sighed heavily, falling backwards. Both of them looked highly amused with me. "Fine. Get out."
"Excellent," was all he said, looking at Adrian, "I want her ready by four."
"Not a problem," Adrian said nodding once. Then Marcus was gone. "You going to be alright?"
"Let's get this over with."
I must've just been laying there, because I completely zoned out. I hadn't even realized that the door had practically been kicked in and Dean had come barging in. "Whoa," I said wide eyed staring at Dean. Now he was just kind of staring at me. Adrian had jumped off the bed and rushed Dean. Shoving him against the wall.
"What have you done to her?" Dean shouted, suddenly furious and then struck out at Adrian. They fought for a moment and I wasn't sure what had happened until Dean was leaning over me. He sat me up and I frowned, suddenly confused. He lifted me to face him and then he reached out for the light. I guess Adrian lost.
"No, dont-," the light went on when he turned to me he kind of just stared. I pulled myself away from him, feeling suddenly self-conscious. I pulled myself into a stand, and lost my balance knocking over the table and stumbling towards the bathroom. I lost my balance and then went crashing to the ground when I tripped over a bag or a boot or something. Well that's a little embarassing.
"Jesus," Dean said somewhere behind me. Then warm arms lifted me up and he pulled me into his arms with my back pressed to his chest. "What have you done to yourself Mara?" he whispered quietly, and I felt a wet rag press against my face and I felt even more embarassed as he began wiping at the blood smeared around my lips. After a moment, I reached up and took the rag from him and did it myself.
When I didn't feel anymore I dropped the rag and sighed heavily. I felt stoned. More stoned then I'd felt in a long time, or since the last time this happened. Either way, I felt kind of numb and yet electrified at the same time. It was like fireworks had gone off inside of me, every part of me, mind, body and soul. Dean felt pretty good holding me too though, but so had Adrian, so I just figured the person didn't matter.
"How many times have you done this?" he asked quietly and turned me in his arms slightly. He pushed the hair from my face, frowning at my glassy expression.
"Um, twice?" then I remembered, he was asking, "yeah, uh, twice."
"No wonder why you looked so freaked out earlier. Why are you drinking demon blood, Mara?" he sounded strange, like he was trying to stay calm but his mind was going a hundred miles an hour.
"I dont know," was my brilliant answer, "no one was supposed to know." Really? Is that really my response? Damn.
"Well I know and I'm telling you now, this isn't a road you want to go down."
"Dean, this is a road I've been on for years. You can't get much worse then me," I pointed out and cringed a little when my voice slurred slightly.
"Well you look like you got it all together," he sneered a ltitle and I gave him an unamused look. "Seriously, give me one good reason why I shouldn't out you to your family."
"Like they would care, and neither do I," I was bluffing, but I had to try. There were some things my family just couldn't know about me. This was one of them, patricide and matricide were also obviously on the list.
"Dont push me away Mara, just tell me the truth. You can trust me," it was cute that he thought that.
"Well, I want power, this is the fastest albeit stupid way to get it," I said as it should be obvious. I was power hungry, I probably would've contemplated this some time down the road, if it weren't for the fact that my crazy brother had forced me into it.
I tried to stand, this time far more successful and I took a deep breath when my head clouded a little bit. Dean stood behind me, holding my eyes as I stood in front of the mirror, gripping the porcelain sink. I held his gaze for a moment before looking back into the mirror. I didn't look so bad, my pupils were glassy and dilated, but I didn't look nearly as bad as last time.
Dean just shook his head and left the room, I flipped him off, but he had glanced back. He gave me a dark look when I lowered my arm quickly, surprised he'd turned back. "Whoops," I mumbled and then shrugged it off and went through the process of showering.
Soon we would be killing Hunter Carass. I suppose I should feel bad, but again, I got that whole couldn't care less feeling. Sure, I'd felt it before, it seemed different somehow. Marcus had made it pretty clear that we'd eventually kill all the psychic kids and bring them into the fold, but I guess he was having control difficulties. He was in charge of about ten people, and the six demons I've seen walking around in the last day or so. He'd brought more in after the first demon blood session thing. I didn't understand why, but they were cleaning up after everyone. Which I thought was kind of freaky, but I'd refrained from commenting so far.
Dean came out of nowhere, Sam right behind him. They both looked severely pissed off and for a moment I thought Dean had said something. But no, I knew Dean well enough to know he'd keep things to himself. At least when it came to me. Could you imagine having to be the one to tell someone's family that their half dead sister and lover was drinking demon blood? I had one angry venegful family. They might actually shoot the messenger. We'd all done it once or twice before.
"You can't kill Hunter, Mara, you can't just murder your friends," Sam said glowering at me heavily.
I gave them a long dramatic sigh, crossing my arms and leaning against the door frame into the living room. "I don't recall Hunter being a friend. He was mostly some kid I was training, and for a ridiculous reason to. You can't beat Marcus and I gave up fighting with him a long time ago," not true, but I felt like it should be said sooner or later.
The more that they thought I didn't care about everyone back home, the more all of them would hate me. Once Marcus saw or heard or felt what I was doing, the more he'd let his guard down. I needed him to slip up and say something he wasn't supposed to. This was one of those situations where a person goes way too far to get what they want. But either way, i was doing it.
"You ready beautiful?" Adrian asked me, looking up from some kind of map. Poor Dean, he didn't stand a chance when it came to Danielle's mind control abilities.
Dean glared at him hatefully, and Adrian grinned widely, challenging him. "This should be interesting," was all I said, amused and more then a little excited. Goddamn did I ever feel good. As if I were still high or something, who knows maybe I was. There was no coming down from something like that. It linged for hours, and you didn't seem to crave more later on, because you still felt the power of it inside of you. Everything felt intense, my senses, my only thoughts, and voice seemed slightly overwhelming. It was both unnerving and fascinating all at once.
"You can't kill him Mara, dont go," Dean said to me finally, breaking off his staring contest with Adrian. "Dont do this. The more you push everyone away, the more they'll start to hate and resent you."
"You say that like I don't know. Haven't we been over this? I couldnt care less, get with the program would you?" Marcus came around the corner talking to 'the muscle' and giving them clear orders to stay close to me. Marcus turned to me now, after giving the Winchesters a long thoughtful look. I hated when he had that expression on his face. It almost reminded me of the Marcus that I used to know. Almost, but not quite.
"Hunter Carass will be yours," he said pointedly, making it clear that the rest of the room over heard as well. I kind of wondered what the spell to change masters entailed, but figured finding out meant losing Danielle, and again, I wasn't about to let that happen. Not that I'd have a much choice in the matter. But i would put up one hell of a fight to keep her.
"Awesome," I said, grinning widely. Sam and Dean shared looks, "alright let's get this show on the road. When you find Hunter, bring him to me. We dont want to be there any longer then necessary." Everyone nodded there agreement and most of us made for the cars. The majority of demons were staying behind, along with Aaron and Christian to babysit the Winchesters. The other ten of us would be going on this little road trip.
It was quiet most of the trip, and honestly I knew the Winchesters would get out of the house somehow, and I also knew they'd probably call and give the house a heads up. I was just hoping we'd be close by in case they made a run for it. As long as the pack was unharmed, I wasn't too concerned.
"Danielle I want you to stay with Lori, Beth and Michael, okay?" she frowned at me. "I dont know if your ability will be useable on them."
"What makes you say that?" Marcus asked me frowning.
"Because of the training we've had. Danielle's never used her ability on the pack and I dont want to risk it in such a situation. Were mentally strong, you can't consider them humans when it comes to mental shielding. I've trained them to be immune to outside influences, we have a control over ourselves that other people can't even dream of. Bella's probably trained them to defend against your influence as well. So stick with the their team. There the strongest," I said giving her a smile. It wasn't because I thought she'd be useless, I just didn't want to risk losing her. If my half assed plan became more defined, she'd play a big part in it.
"Alright, if it's what you want," she said, a little bummed out.
"Actually, you know what kind of training the psychic kids have, I want you to find Hunter for me," I said after a thoughtful moment. Who better to bring Hunter to me then Danielle? She smiled widely, accepting this new job with more enthusiasm.
We parked just down the road from Adam's place and I couldn't tell how many people were home. It felt like almost everyone was here. I noted the lack of Bella's car and assumed it was impounded when the Winchesters were picked up. I figured she would've gotten it though. We were coming up the driveway when I felt it. Or the lack of. Bella wasn't here. I couldn't feel her. I could always feel Bella. But she wasn't here, and the rest of the pack was. Why hadn't anyone gone to get her? Did they not know?
I knew they'd feel me, so I gave the other groups a nod and then we all split up and attacked from all sides. Someone aimed at Marcus and Adrian, who were honestly, just watching. I rolled my eyes a little, running towards the house. I jumped over the porch railing and hit them before they'd even turned around.
I could hear more gunshots from the inside, and then kicked in the front door. Johnathon fought with the next person that appeared, which was Michelle and when she caught sight of me I waved a little. She was so shocked to see me, she took Jonathon's hit full force and then crashed to the ground unconscious.
"Too much," was all I said to him. He just gave me that slightly twisted grin, which unsurprisingly, was much like my own.
"Mara," someone breathed, and I turned to Chris and Patrick.
"Hello boys," I said smiling, raising a gun and shooting at them. I kept the shots close enough that to everyone around me, Chris included, thought I was shooting to kill. I knew my shots wouldn't hit him though. They'd jumped out of the way and then I heard someone come up on my right.
I turned, side stepped at the same time, grasped the gun and then pulled hard. Luke struck out at me, and I flipped the gun, using the end and getting him hard in the jaw. I turned, as soon as Adam came around the corner and put a bullet hole in Jonathon, before he'd even turned around.
I watched Jonathon's body hit the ground, momentarily surprised. I hadn't even noticed Adam, or if I had, I didn't really care. Adam kept the gun on me and I knew without a doubt that he'd pull the trigger, and that was only because he had the gun sighted and aimed at my chest. They could always make some sort of attempt to save me and then lock me down or something. I felt Danielle tug on me, searching for me and I summoned her. She'd found Hunter.
"What do you want?" Adam asked coldly.
"Oh baby, I want it all," I said grinning from ear to ear.
"What have you done with Bella?" Chris asked from somewhere behind me. I wouldn't be surprised to see two more guns pointed at me.
"I haven't done anything with Bella. We dont have her," I said, more then a little amused. It was fake, i was very much worried about Bella know that i knew they had no idea she'd be arrested.
Adam looked confused and then I heard several other people close in and Michelle was starting to stir. I suppose it said something, that we didn't come up with much of a plan, let alone a back up plan. Where were the other dead kids? I'll admit they weren't the brightest bunch, but there was no way they won the fight. I mean, Chris and Adam were pack, they'd be two of the strongest assets and here they were, talking with me.
"So boys, how is your plan to save the world going?" I asked casually, as if the three of them weren't holding guns on me.
"It'd be easier if you came home," I heard Brandon said, also from somewhere to my far right.
"What can I say, the darksides just so much more fun," I said grinning widely. "You could join us too you know."
"It wont end well Mara, we can help you, if you just come home," you know, it really says something that they went with the intervention route while who knows what's going on just behind the scenes. And Danielle was getting closer.
"Still haven't told them have you Patrick?" I asked, mildly surprised, but then gave him a clear look to keep this secret to himself or he would be up to bat next.
"Told us what?" Chris asked, and I felt him pull his gaze from me.
"Nobody lives forever," was all I said, and then took a deep breath and my body flared with heat and power. I directed it outward, and then blue flames exploded from my body, throwing everyone backwards and setting this part of the room on fire. Several gunshots went off in the process, but I had already moved out of the way. I hissed when I felt a bullet graze my side, and then Hunter appeared in front of me.
"Mara, no!" someone shouted from behind me, but I'd already plunged the knife deep into his chest.
I gave him a dark feral smile, "your mine now." He froze for a moment, then collapsed unconscious. Gunshots sounded, this time coming from the outside windows and Lori grabbed me and spun us to that she was standing in front of me, and as she held my hand, I realized the bullets were flying straight through us. I'd always wondered what she could do. She was a Ghost, as we called it. We stepped down out of the way, and then down off the porch.
"You almost got killed," Marcus said, glowering at me.
"Yeah, I hear that happens when you barge in on well trained fighters with no plan," I said amused.
"How you feeling?"
"Pretty fucking good," I said as we melted back into the woods. I glanced back at the house, and broke into a dark smirk when I found my brothers staring back at me. Oh yeah. We would win. I honestly couldn't say whether or not that notion pleased me or worried me. I cared so much less about everything. It could've been any number of things. But for the first time I felt free. Free of hindering emotion. I felt strong again. Stronger then the day Marcus had set me free. I didn't just feel strong. I felt powerful. It had been like flipping a switch on my abilities today and it hadn't even tired me. It felt amazing. I felt amazing.