Chapter 25: Healing

Finn grabbed Elphaba hours later, deep into the late night. He was very thankful that his guards were respectful and obedient to his orders. Not one had come back down since he threw Xavier out of the door and dismissed them.

After holding Emma in his arms for what seemed like an eternity, Finn had snuck back into the main castle to get a few things. He moved in haste, remembering the look of terror Emma gave him when he stepped out of the door, leaving her alone. He refilled his medical kit. He packed a sack full of food. He had Mae sneak him into Glinda's room, where the blonde almost knocked him out with a stiletto heel. From Glinda he got some new clothes, socks, and a much warmer blanket made of fur. He waited until he was ready to leave before he gave her a short but still horrifying version of the events. He choked on the words as he spoke and tore out of the door as soon as he finished, leaving Glinda slack-jawed and weeping.

He returned to the room, unloading the goods onto the table as Emma changed. He made sure to keep his eyes locked on the table, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. He had taken the brightest lamp from his study, one that shone with a silvery light. He lit it, casting its glow through the cell. Glinda had given her a greenish-blue dress that stopped at the wrists and knee , with a dark green sash around the waist. It probably would have fit Emma sometime before, but her imprisonment had taken a toll, the satin fabric hanging off of her thin frame.

Finn didn't realize he had fallen asleep, head on the table, until Emma woke him. She had fallen into a fitful sleep, and a nightmare sent her shooting up into a sitting position. Even though she was awake, she was still living inside her dark dream. Her eyes were glossed over, her body shaking and rolling into a ball, desperate pleas coming out of her mouth.

"Stop…no…stop… please stop… "

Finn had tried to wake her from her living nightmare, but nothing was working. He flew into Elphaba's room so fast that she almost attacked him, thinking him to be someone else. They rushed into Emma's cell, where she was rocking back and forth on the bed. She had fully woken up now, but it was still very fresh in her mind. She had her head on her knees, sobbing.

"Stop…don't touch me…please….…please"

"Emma." Elphaba climbed into bed next to her friend, calling her name softly. "Emma…Emma…Emma…."

Emma's green eyes met her counterpart's chocolate ones.

"Elphie?"

In her thrashing, some of Emma's wounds had reopened. They could see the blood soaking through her new dress. Elphaba, forcing herself to be calm and strong, took it upon herself to care for her. Finn turned himself around so Elphaba could help Emma change into something new. When Elphaba got a good look at the damage done to her friend, she had to walk out of the room for a moment to punch the walls and curse every god she could come up with. She came back, eyes hard, her emotions only betrayed by her quivering bottom lip. She tended to the open wounds, using some gauze taken from Glinda's room to try to wrap up the parts of Emma's leg that looked the worst. Emma was relaxed with Elphaba, letting her do what she need to.

Elphaba hissed to Finn, gesturing for him to go away. He didn't even ask; he walked to the other side of the room, leaning his head on the cell door.

Elphaba lowered her voice.

"Are you in pain, love?"

"Well…Seeing as you just bandaged my entire leg..."

"No...no...not there...How do I say this...Does it still hurt you..."

It took Emma second to realize what Elphaba meant, but when she did, she inhaled slowly and paused for a while. Her reply was a small but deliberate nod.

Elphaba's expression was full of sympathy. She pushed the hair back from Emma's eyes.

"I'll go through the Captain's kit. He might have something you can take to dull the pain. It will take time, but it will go away. I promise."

Emma clasped her hand around her friend's wrist.

"How did you…." She shuddered. "How did you go through this….so many times…."

Elphaba gently cupped Emma's face in a green hand.

"I had to. I knew that every man that walked into my cell was not going to yours, and that gave me the strength to keep going. Truthfully, I wanted to give up. I wanted to give up so many times, but I couldn't. If I had needed to die to keep you safe, I would have. However, you needed me to live, so I continued to live."

Emma sighed.

"We will never be okay, will we?"

"Probably not. But we still try anyway."

Emma was wrapped up under the covers, asleep. Elphaba was standing next to Finn, both staring out of the cell door, focusing on the flickering of the lamplight through the bars.

"Will she recover?" asked Finn.

"It will take time," replied Elphaba. "She will keep the scars. She will probably always hurt. The memories, sadly, will definitely stay with her. I offered to see if I could take some of the pain from her. She refused, like she always does, and I'm not strong enough to force her like she did with me."

"You sacrifice yourself for everyone," stated the Captain. "Glinda had told me this, but now I see that it's true."

"It's not out of selflessness, Captain," she retorted. "I'm the Wicked Witch remember? I do it because I need to atone for my wicked ways."

"So you do it to punish yourself."

"Why does this matter to you?"

"Because Emma told me something that was the truth," he said, eyes not leaving the flame. "She told me that if I had been more aware of what was happening, then I could have helped you sooner. She said I could have stopped those guards from coming into your cell. Basically, I was stupid and oblivious, and my carelessness hurt you and who knows how many others. I feel like I have to atone."

The two stood in silence for a few more painful moments.

"We all have things we've done wrong, Elphaba," said the Captain. "We all have burdens to bear, people that we've hurt, things that have gone wrong. We can only punish ourselves for so long before it's pointless."

"You have no idea what burdens I bear."

"I served under Captain Tigelaar."

Elphaba stopped. "Don't say that name."

"He was my direct officer. When I joined, he was assigned as my mentor. I was told that he was the one to model myself after. I tried to do so. I tried to follow his ways, and I physically followed him, volunteering on all of his missions. I went on all of the hunts for the Wicked Witch. I didn't realize until recently that those missions were not to kill you, but to find you."

"Stop talking."

"I wanted to be just like him. I was given his place after he…passed."

"I said stop talking."

"Look at me now," Finn said with a small laugh. "Here I am, Captain of the Guard, harboring the Wicked witch, defying the Wizard, plotting to kill Morrible…" He paused. "And falling for a wanted fugitive."

The last sentence had just spilled out. He hoped Elphaba hadn't noticed.

"I ended up way more like him than I thought. I am just what I had admired, the strong Captain Fiyero—"

"STOP!"

Finn ducked as a pitcher of water came shooting across the room, smashing against the wall. Elphaba was livid.

"I told you to stop! DO NOT SAY HIS NAME. DO NOT SPEAK OF HIM."

"Elphie?"

Finn and Elphaba spun around. Emma was out of bed, standing next to the kitchen table. She held her glass in both hands. She took a gulp, and set it back down on the table.

"You need to eventually forgive yourself for his death."

Elphaba's hands balled up, squeezing, trying to stop her eyes from stinging.

"Elphie," said Emma. "Remember what you told me? You did all these things for me. You took all that suffering so I didn't have to. You did that for me, and he did that for you. You said you would have died to keep me safe. He died to keep you safe. He did what you would have done. One day, you will need to stop trying to punish yourself for what happened to him. Hopefully that day is soon."

Elphaba stood shaking, a few rogue tears threatening to escape. She forced herself to regain composure.

"Emma, you shouldn't be up. It hurts you. You need to rest."

Emma snorted, knowing that her statement had been avoided.

"Fine."

Emma went back into bed, falling back asleep almost instantly. Finn and Elphaba watched her like two worried parents.

Elphaba 's gaze could have bore a hole in Finn's skull. He met her eyes.

"Tell me this Captain…Do you love her?"

Finn stammered…."I…."

"You said you were falling for her, but do you love her?"

She had noticed after all.

"I—"

"Yes or no."

"Elphaba—"

"YES OR NO."

Pause.

"Yes."

Finn's heart pounded with the realization. It almost made him dizzy.

"Well then," replied Elphaba. "Let me ask you this. Would you die for her?"

"That's an intense question."

"In our predicament, it's one that needs to be asked," said the green girl. "Would you die for her?"

Finn thought about how he saw her, slammed to the floor, how it lit a fire of rage in him so strong that he couldn't control himself. He thought about the first time he saw her in this cell, when, in order to keep her friend safe, she offered herself up to him, the need to protect the ones she loved stronger than her fear. He thought about tending to her wounds, how she had given her full and complete trust to him. He then thought about how he held her in this arms, how he felt her sigh and relax against his chest. He thought about her standing in the Throne Room, sharp-tongued, defiant, powerful, glowing violent white, blinding everyone in her path. He thought about her green eyes, her soft smile, her bright laugh, the way her hand touched his face….

"I believe I would most certainly die for her."

Elphaba nodded. "Good. We're on the same page then."