Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. They belong to their respective owners, as well as any recognizable characters.

Author's Note: Sorry for the late update, but I've been REALLY busy and have had some problems. I hope to update this as much as I possibly can.

This was an idea spawned from too much tf2007fun on Livejournal. Don't take ANY of it completely serious, because I'm just doing this as a means to entertain myself and those that read it. These are suggestions mostly from those on Tf2007fun.. Have at em kiddies

Warnings: Sam has a potty mouth, slashy pairings. Mention of a swastika used in a prank.

Humanity for Dummies: Autobot Edition

81. The Flu

Sam was normally a very mellow human. It took a lot to upset him and he was everybody's favorite. He got along with the base's human population and even the Teletraan AI system adored him. He was loyal, selfless and loveable. This was the Sam everyone was used to. Not the Sam that lay curled on a couch under a blanket with a box of tissues nearby. Nobody liked the "sick-with-the-flu" Sam, and everyone who'd heard about the diagnosis from Ratchet, or had actually come in contact with 'sick vicious' knew better than to bother/talk/joke, or.. well, do anything with the teen.

Everybody but the twins, that is.

The two of them had been out on patrol for the last few days (Prowl's punishment for the swastika painted in random hallways that had given poor Red Alert a spark attack). They didn't know anything.

"That was the most annoying patrol I've ever been on." Sideswipe gushed as he and his brother entered the commons.

"Rain, sand and Sunstreaker's do. Not. Mix. I've got it all in places it shouldn't be." He golden warrior whined just as loudly. Those present pulled their attention away from their quiet activities to gaze warily at the bodies curled on one of the couches. Bumblebee was watching them just as warily, very aware of his charge, who had almost been asleep, who was now very awake, and tense.

"That's nice, go whine about it somewheres else." Ironhide said quietly, optics watching Sam carefully.

"Hey! It's a common room, we have the right to bitch here if we want to!" Sideswipe said indignantly.

"Not when sick vicious is in here…" Cliffjumper mumbled.

"'Scuse me redlight, you say something?" Sunny hissed, looming over the minibot. Cliffjumper's optics turned hastily in Sam's direction, very near their feet.

"I'm talking to--."

Both twins cried out in pain and surprise as they were both hit in the optic; Sideswipe by a water bottle, Sunny by a tissue box.

"Who the frag--."

"SHUT UP!" they silenced and all optics turned to the irate human on the couch. His face was pale and he looked miserable.

"You think YOU'RE having a bad day? I've got a fever, I HURT, I puke up everything I eat, my throat hurts, I can't breath, my head hurts, and my nose is running. I missed the preview to a good movie and I'm fragging tired."

"Hey S-."

"No, shut up. I was almost asleep before you two knuckleheaded bullhorns stomped in here. Now. Shut up, be quiet and don't say another word until I say you can!" the brunette gave one last glare and settled back into the couch and Bee's arms.

"And gimme my water bottle and tissues back."

:: did we miss something?:: Sideswipe comm'd the others as he and his brother returned said items to sick teen.

::New rules,:: Prowl advised, leafing through a datapad.:: No talking, joking, yelling, making loud noises to or around Samuel while he's infected.::

::O-oh… right…:: and quiet settled in once again, allowing Sam to drift back into Ny-Quil induced slumber.

Right, so, NO ONE wants to be bothered when they're sick. Sam is no different. Reviews are appreciated, not mandatory.