AN: I want to thank my beta again, Johnathan Cain. He's the bomb. He's also helped a lot. And again, thanks for all reviews, comments, etc! I read them all. :D
Chapter Twenty Four:
This was the hardest thing she had ever done. Going back to see the one man whom she both liked and despised. Going back right after she had just broken it off with him. Going to see him after she had requested to step down from her position at Arkham. Rachel had assured her the position at Gotham General under Dr. Lehmann would be just as rewarding and she would directly work with Rachel and the DA's office. Or maybe she'd just take a break first. A nice semester off from everything. Slowly, step by step she walked up the stairs and entered the asylum. Mrs. Delane wasn't at the front desk. Instead, there was a smaller woman. She was timid, like a mouse. Staff changes? One thing at a time, Cady. Her mind said, trying to keep her body calm. Mrs. Delane could simply be out sick today...
Cady smiled at the woman. "Hi. My name is Cady Clein. I was wondering if Dr. Crane was available? I don't have an appointment or anything, but he knows me." She crossed her arms over her chest.
The woman smiled slightly. She looked uncomfortable, nervous. Cady knew the doctor wasn't at any appointments right now. She still remembered his schedule. The receptionist picked up the phone and dialed a number.
"Sorry to bother you, Dr. Crane, but a Ms. Clein is requesting to see you." She paused, looking at Cady. "Yes, I understand. I'll let her know. Thank you." She hung up and looked up at her. "He says he'll be here in a moment. Please, make yourself comfortable." She motioned to the chairs set about in the waiting area.
Cady nodded and sat down in what looked like the cleanest chair. Never before had she sat in them. They were old. Worn out. Dirty. She sighed. She fiddled with her earring. They were the ones Jonathan had bought her. Why did she choose to wear them? They felt heavy. Made her earlobes throb. In the back of her mind she knew she was just apprehensive. A few minutes ticked by. She fidgeted in her seat. It was cold in the asylum. Although she wore a thick sweater it didn't seem to help much in keeping out the chill. Maybe it was just this place. She glanced towards the door that lead into the main part at the sound of it opening. Jonathan walked out and smiled at her. Behind his glasses it actually reached his eyes. Her heart stopped for a second. Did I make the right choice? The smile faded into a thin-lipped smirk. Her heart started beating again. The question wouldn't go away. Her heart began to race as he moved forward.
"Cady. What a nice surprise." He stuck his hands in his pockets as he approached her.
Cady stood up and forced a smile. Her heart was beating so fast against her chest she wondered if he could hear it.
"I need to speak to you. Do you have a moment?" She said quietly, glancing at the nurse.
"Let's go to my office." He turned to the lady at the desk. "Mrs. Angie, please hold all calls."
The woman looked at him and nodded, then back down at her work. Cady imagined she was rolling her eyes.
Cady followed him to the door, then stopped. Why was this one locked in the first place? It used to be open all the time. Always propped to the side to allow for free movement between the stairway and main area. The doctor looked at her with that superior look. He smirked.
"Don't worry, I'm not mad." The words were false, slipping through thin lips.
He was mad. Cady remembered the expression he had given her last night. The lack of words. Did he unprop the door? Was he trying to keep something secret? Hesitantly, Cady resumed walking. The door shut with a sharp metal clunk behind them. That must be the sound of lost freedom, she thought to herself as she glanced about. It looked...vacant. All she could really hear was the clicking of her shoes as they walked. It was Saturday, after all. They turned another corner and he stopped to open the locked door to his office. She followed him in. She remembered the first time she had meet with him in there. Everything was the same. As if time had stopped in this area.
"Well, what did you need?" He asked.
There was a slight brush against her backside. The scent of his cologne filled her senses. He moved to sit behind his desk. Cady watched him, but didn't sit. She wasn't planning on staying long. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs to get comfortable. He tapped his fingers together as he watched her. Cady noticed he was being extra cautious today about guarding his emotions.
"I think I left my phone at your apartment." She swallowed.
He reached into his pant pocket and laid the phone on the table. She reached for it, but he grabbed her wrist.
"Sit down, Cady." His voice was just as icy as his eyes.
Cady obeyed. She could feel the cold leather of the guest chair through her jeans.
"I wasn't aware that you and Ms. Dawes were so...close." His tone was flat.
Trying to pull away from him she responded, "Well, we have a few things in common."
His grip tightened on her wrist painfully. Cady looked down at it then back up at him.
"Let me go, Jonathan." It was a warning.
His glare said he didn't believe her.
"Answer me this first. What did you two talk about?" His stare bored right through her. She was always amazed how his face could remain neutral but his eyes could burn holes. Or freeze. Or both at the same time.
"If you went through my phone then you saw what we talked about." Cady scowled back at him.
"No. I have a feeling that's only the tip of the iceberg." He paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "I'm sure we don't need to keep playing this little game." He emphasized the last few words with as much hostility as he could muster.
Cady looked at his hand clutching her wrist then back up at his face. She did a few more takes before it dawned on her: He's afraid. He's afraid of losing his position, afraid of losing his work, afraid of losing in general. She was afraid too, but knowing that he was as well meant she could exploit it. She could win this fight. She looked back up at him. He had cocked his head to the side as if trying to read her mind. She wondered if her face still showed her terror or if it betrayed her by showing her new found confidence. Whatever her face said, strangely enough, she wasn't so scared anymore.
Almost as if on cue, he narrowed his eyes and spoke. "Cady, Cady, Cady. What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
He waited for a moment, but she couldn't respond. If she did she would betray herself. She had to think of a plan.
"I know those wheels are spinning. Be careful with what you decide to do. You are in my asylum." He had that doctor's tone. It was calm, collected. Controlling.
He pulled her wrist close to him. It was as harsh as he could manage. It forced her to move from her seat and slightly lean over his desk. The action startled her. She felt the skin slide against the edge of the wood. She felt the papers fold and pinch at her now exposed arm. It stung. The position was uncomfortable. The grin that spread across his face made her sick to her stomach. The added pressure of it being pulled against his desk didn't help.
"W-we talked about...you." She began.
He nodded slightly at her. That cocky look still plastered on his face. "Go on."
"And...a..about Falcone's thugs. The ones you put away." Her voice was shaky.
She tried to hold back tears. She took a deep breath to calm herself. He waited for her to continue. She wouldn't tell him the important details, but enough that he'd let her go. She was good at this game, it worked well with teachers, her family, and him. Once. It worked on him only once. A feeling of dread sunk into her chest.
"Rachel admits there isn't much anyone can do at the moment." Okay, so that was only half true.
The grip on her wrist lightened. Dr. Crane reached over and touched the tears streaming down her cheek with his free hand. He was smiling triumphantly. The smile didn't reach his eyes.
"See? Now that wasn't so hard. Fear is a great motivator, don't you think?" He said with a sense of admiration in himself and his words.
Cady pulled her wrist away and sat down in the chair. The skin around her hand was bright red and sore. She would have a bruise there in no time. As she inspected it she suddenly felt tired. Drained. Why was she attracted to him when he could be so mean to her?
"May I go? I'm really tired." She looked over at him.
"No." He stood up and walked around the side of his desk.
He gently raised her chin with two of his fingers. She couldn't help but look him straight in the eye.
"You see, I can't have you running back to Ms. Dawes."
Another tear streamed down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.
"I didn't tell anyone that I was coming here." Her jaw was shaking.
Where had that confidence gone? Probably out the window with her thoughts of freedom.
"I understand. I really do." He looked away for a moment, bitting his lower lip. He turned back to her. His gaze was intense. "But, you see, I just can't take that chance yet. Don't worry, you're in good hands." He played with a stray piece of hair for a moment then held onto the side of her face with one hand.
Cady was confused. What was he talking about. "Huh? Wha-" Before she could say anything, there was a slight puff of powder in her face. She coughed. It burned. The room began to spin. Cady screamed.
*
Crane watched as she began to scream hysterically. He hadn't given her anywhere near the dose he gave to his patients, but it was still enough to induce a horrible episode. It just wouldn't last long or do any real damage. The sight of her crying and holding onto his arm for dear life excited him. She's so beautiful. There. He admitted it to himself. In the back of his mind his alter laughed. It was loud. Hoarse. Dry. Memories flashed through his mind about how he would sit up nearly the entire night and watch her sleep. He didn't tell her that she had nightmares. She already knew. She never fully woke up during the night, but she would call his name. He would hold her for a while after and she'd seem to quiet down. To sleep peacefully. That part she didn't know. If she remembered, she never spoke about it. It amazed him how much power he had over her. He had seen in her eyes how she felt when he walked up to her earlier. He knew she felt that leaving him was a mistake. At this point in time she wasn't going to admit it. All he wanted her to do was to admit that she was wrong. She deserved this. He was punishing her for being a bad student. Leaning down, he let go of her chin and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Cady, it's alright. You're having a panic attack." He kept his tone neutral.
He wasn't wearing his mask. He had anticipated doing this before she came. An extra dose of medication (and holding his breath) insured he wasn't going to fall victim to the toxin or his alter. He wanted her to be afraid. But not of his voice. His id waited patiently. An image of a scarecrow paced back and forth behind his eyes. It waited for what Jonathan had promised him.
'Later. Later.' It chanted. It wasn't so much trying to calm itself as it was reminding Crane. 'Don't forget.' The tone said.
She was reacting as he had expected. When he broke the touch she had reached out before feeling his hands on her again.
"No, something's wrong. Jonathan, make it stop!" She started crying.
He noticed that she was gripping his arms so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.
"Cady, what's wrong? What's making you scared?" He wanted so bad to try to trigger a reaction.
'Do it, do it! Look at her! Look how she trembles. Push her over the edge!' Scarecrow chimed into his ear.
No. Not yet. I still need her mind intact for now. Besides, I wouldn't want to break such a gift, anyway. Remember our agreement. He forced the mental image of the burlap sack down as he ran his hand across Cady's cheek.
"If you refuse to tell me, how can I help you?" He said, smiling at her.
"No, let go of me!" She screamed and pushed him.
The unexpected shove caught him off guard and he fell back, nearly missing his desk. Cady ran for the door and fumbled with the knob. He had locked it so she couldn't get out and his office had no cameras. Crane pulled himself up and slowly walked over to her, smiling widely. His heart was beating fast with excitement. He expected that a number of things had happened to her in the past that made her act the way she did. She was always so tight lipped about it. Now, however, he would find out. It would help him stay one step ahead of her.
*
Cady woke to the sound of typing. She tried to sit up, but there was a sharp pain in her right temple.
"Careful, Cady. You had a nasty fall."
She looked up at Jonathan sitting at his desk, sipping something out of a mug.
"What happened?" She held her palm tightly to the temple. The pressure helped the pain enough so she could sit up. The leather couch was pretty to look at but not comfortable to sleep on. "How'd I fall?"
Jonathan typed something into the laptop that was open to his side before responding to her. "You were running." He was keeping his tone calm and neutral.
"Did we have a fight or something?" Cady was stupid enough to wear heels to unnecessary places, but not stupid enough to go running on tile floors like the Asylum had.
Jonathan sighed slightly, folding his hands on the desk in front of him. He was acting like a doctor. Somewhere, deep inside, it hurt. She wanted him to show some kind of emotion to her distress, instead he kept the more-superior-than-thou mask on.
"I'm sorry, Cady. I didn't mean to upset you so badly. You came in looking for your phone, do you remember?" She noticed he waited for her to nod before he continued. "Well, I was asking about a conversation you had with a boy named..." He looked away for a moment, thinking of the name, "Scott? Then things got a little heated." He raised an eyebrow as he finished speaking. His tone reminded her of a teacher correcting a student who gave a wrong answer on purpose.
"Oh." She said quietly, looking at the floor.
She remembered the texts. Scott had expressed interest in possibly going out to a club with her. She didn't really like him, but had accepted anyway. She never went. It was the first time she had stood anyone up. After that, he didn't text her again. She looked back up at Jonathan. His expression had remained the same. She knew he was jealous, though. He never liked it when she did things he wasn't aware of. Of course, hadn't they broken up? The thought sent a feeling of guilt through her.
"Well, I should get back home." Cady couldn't even stand up. The room suddenly started to spin.
Closing her eyes, she sat back down.
"As I said, you had a nasty fall. Maybe you should think of not wearing heels that high."
Cady opened one eye to glare at him. He snorted.
"What time is it?" She asked.
He picked up her phone that was still on his desk. "A little past 1." He said, setting it back down. "Are you in pain?"
She closed her eyes. Her head throbbed. "Nope, I feel just fine and dandy." Even her smile was sarcastic.
There was a loud sigh and she could hear his chair creak as he stood up. She opened her eyes again to see him holding out his hand with some pills in it. She wrinkled her nose.
"It's aspirin." He stated matter-of-factly.
"Thank you, but no."
"Then, a late lunch."
The words made her glance up at him. The movement made her eyes hurt. She blinked, but kept focused on him.
"Why?" Her voice wavered. She wanted to go. She didn't want to go. She did. Not. Did. Not. Did...not...did...
He smiled and knelt down. "It's the least I can do for getting you so upset earlier."
She eyed him wearily. He didn't sound sincere. He never did.
"You have no right to be mad with me." She frowned.
His features contorted into something that looked like a smirk and a frown. "I have every right." He stood up, moved to set the pills on his desk then crossed his arms. "How do you expect me to feel? You just ended everything over a small quarrel."
She sighed, letting her head fall into her hands. Could she have been wrong about him? She wanted to cry. Her head pounded. She didn't understand why everything was so confusing now. Crane had his unusual methods. He explained everything to her. To Dr. Arkham. To everyone who asked. His tone was always haughty, but he wasn't lying. Dr. Arkham endorsed him. Dr. Blaney at Gotham University still backed him. Even a few nurses and doctors at the asylum spoke favorably of him when dealing with the more aggressive patients. But, there were still others who hated him. Who wanted to see him fall. Rachel told Cady this once. She never forgot it.
"Oh, don't play innocent." He sneered.
She looked up at him. "I'm not." She allowed the confusion, the hurt, to show in her face.
"Is that what you really want, Cady?" She watched as he moved to sit next to her on the couch.
"What do you mean?"
"That...job." He spat. "It's nowhere near your talents. You'd be bored. It's a waste of time."
"Dr. Lehmann is a reputable psychiatrist. He's done a lot of work for the DA's office." She defended. He must have really delved into her phone. Even into her e-mails and such. Bastard. What else did you see?
"Dr. Lehmann was fired from this facility before I even started. How great a doctor do you think he is?"
She swallowed. She had no answer.
"I graduated at the age of twenty one with my doctorate. I taught for nearly a year before taking on the chief of research position. Three months after that, Dr. Arkham personally asked me to become the asylum's on-site director so he could attend to personal matters. Compared to Dr. Lehmann, I'm as close to a genius as one could get." He raised an eyebrow as he said genius. Surprisingly, his tone wasn't arrogant as much as it was flat.
He rested an arm on the back of the couch. The action made the space between them more intimate. Cady realized she couldn't scoot back any further. She was already sitting against the armrest. With the hand that was on the couch he played with her hair.
"I can understand if you want a break. This job is stressful, even more so while you're still in school. But, to degrade yourself like that by accepting that job." His face scrunched up in a look of disgust. "It's ludicrous. You're smarter than that."
His face softened. She sighed.
"I haven't accepted any position yet. I really just need a break." She said, defeated.
He smiled slightly. "Good. Shall we go to lunch, then?"
"I'm not hungry." She looked away. She just wanted to leave. Being around him was weakening her resolve.
"Dinner."
She started to protest. He cut her off.
"I insist." He stated.
She exhaled angrily, glaring at him. He brushed a thumb across her cheek.
"Stop pouting, Cady."
She stuck her bottom lip out. In a flash his lips were pressed against hers. Crushing. Dominating. She couldn't pull away. Her resolve was gone. He moved back giving her a smug look.
"I know you better than you know yourself." He breathed.
She wanted to slap him. Instead, she stood up. She walked to his desk and grabbed her phone.
"What time should I pick you up?" He asked.
She turned towards him. "Never." She slipped her phone into her pocket.
"Where would you like to go?" He raised an eyebrow as he asked.
"Nowhere." She stomped out of his office and let the door slam behind her. Stupid, really, really, stupid.
As she walked out of the asylum she called Rachel.
"Hey Cady, what's going on?" The woman sounded flustered.
"Did I get you at a bad time?" She asked, chewing on her bottom lip.
"No, not at all. Just finishing up some paperwork."
"Oh, cool. Um, about that job offer? I'm going to decline for now. I want to take a few months off."
"That's fine. I know you are under a lot of stress." She paused. "Yes, I need the Falcone file, please."
"Falcone?" Cady asked. She knew Rachel wasn't talking to her, but she knew that name.
"It's for this case with one of his men."
"Let me guess, insanity plea?" Cady smirked, sitting on the steps outside.
"Yeah, how'd you guess?"
"You have this irritated tone whenever you talk about these types of cases."
The woman laughed. Cady joined in.
"Sorry, dealing with your boss is irritating."
"He's not my boss anymore. I quit yesterday." She said.
"Really? Then can I ask you a question?"
"Um, sure. I might not be able to answer it."
"Strictly off the record."
"Shoot."
"How do you know Falcone's name?"
"Oh, Dr. Crane seems to know him. I was introduced to the man one time when I went to dinner with Jonathan." The wind blew. Cady stood up and walked to her car. She didn't feel like sitting outside.
"They knew each other?" Rachel asked, disbelieving.
"Well, they weren't friends. Jonathan didn't seem happy to see him, but then again, he never really seems happy to see anyone." She shrugged, getting into her car.
"Hm. What Carl? Oh, alright. Hey Cady, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay. Bye Rach."
"Bye!"
As she left the asylum she decided to call her parents and let them know her decision. Her mom would be happy, that much she knew.