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Square One

Emily was both pleased and upset to see me. How could you not say anything!? Sam was so worried! I'm so glad you're okay! Where have you been!? And Nayeli is super cute...

She had swatted me a couple of times, offered me something to drink and rolled out a blanket for Nayeli and her cousin Micheal to play on. Micheal was older by two months and was all chubby smiles. They got along very well, he reminded me of Emily.

"Soo, does Paul know?" Emily asked, sipping her coffee lightly as she eyed me like a hawk."No, nobody but the Cullens knew about it -because of Alice- and I wanted to have a normal life but I felt so...incomplete."

"He just got back you know." Emily said more softly than she meant. "He looked everywhere for you, and no matter where he went or thought you'd be he never found you." Emily laughed a little as she spoke "He's been a wreck. He went to the Cullens every week and tried getting answers, it got so bad that the biggest one -Emmett I think- fought with him. Gave Paul a black eye for two weeks."

I felt horrible, not for Paul's face but for the Cullen's having to put up with him. Still, the fact Paul had been looking for me left a sour tasting film in my mouth, I knew he'd be upset at me for running and even more angry that I had kept my -our- daughter away from him. I just hoped I could explain that I hadn't done it to intentionally hurt him.

"He was the first to make a round tonight with Sam and they will be back around midnight." I didn't want to be here when Paul came back, but I wanted to see Sam. I was still capable of phasing so I could do it if I needed.

Emily and I talked about a lot of things, most of it revolved around babies. The good, the bad, and the downright nasty of it. In fact we chatted so much that time had flown by and before I knew it I could hear familiar voices echoing from the driveway.

I jumped up from the couch, feeling a panic settling inside of me. "What am I gonna say?!" I moaned, pacing back and forth. "Just go in the back with Nayeli and I'll get you." Emily pushed me to the back room, where I waited impatiently.

EMILYS POV

I sighed, feeling slightly nervous. It wasn't Sam I was worried about, but Paul. He had hurtled himself into this hole of depression and just deteriorated slowly. When he first set out to find Nizhoni he had been full of determination and hope and had come back less than half of who he had been. He hardly interacted with anyone and was just a shell. He still showed his anger and often expressed his hurt this way. There were so many ways he could react it was just which one was he more likely to be. Paul was entirely unpredictable now, and had become an emotional roller coaster.

"You're still up." Sam asked as he hunched through the door. "I couldn't sleep." Sam quirked his brow, motioning to the empty cups as he did. "Probably because you're drinking so much coffee." Way to go Emily. I thought dryly. Paul had moved to the far side of the room, slumping in a reclining chair. "Well I have a friend over." Sam continued to look over me strangely. "At midnight?"

"Well she came over earlier and we've been talking since. She's been wanting to see you."

"I'm sure she can wait Emily, you need sleep. I need sleep." I nodded my head and motioned him to sit. "Yes but she's a very important person. And I need you to hold questions...this is more for Paul than anyone." Sam continued to be confused as I pulled him into the kitchen.

"Nizhoni came back." I whispered, pulling Sam down as he searched the house frantically. "She is? Where?" "Please Sam, she needs to see Paul, it's very important. Everything will make sense soon, just give them their space."

AMANDA'S POV

Nayeli had fallen asleep and I laid her on the bed, wrapping her in her soft blanket. As I finished tucking her in, the door creaked open and Emily motioned me out of the room. As soon as my foot touched the hallway floor I could take in all of Paul's scent. It awakened feelings that I had long ago forced myself to not feel and ignore. Emily had to lead me down the living room since my legs were like lead.

If I could smell Paul, I knew he had to smell me because as soon as I made my way through the entrance he was already standing.

"Nizhoni?" I blushed harshly, his voice sounding so foreign to me.

"Hi Paul." I muttered, trying to not move too close. I could already see his chest heaving.

"Where did you go!?" He exploded,

"I looked everywhere!" He was glaring as he stomped over to me

"I thought something had happened to you!" I raised my hands,

"Be quiet! You'll wake the baby!" Paul went right on yelling, not catching my urgency.

"Micheal can sleep through anything." He snapped still glaring down at me.

"I needed to go, to try and make things different, but it didn't work so I came back, and I can show you as long as you're quiet." I replied, taking his hand and giving it a small tug.

"But I won't show you unless you're really calm."

Paul relaxed just slightly, and like myself he hadn't changed much. Except maybe he looked more tired and his muscles were more defined. I lead him back down the hall, tiptoeing as I went. Praying he wouldn't freak out.

Pushing the door back , I let Paul stand beside me. Giving him a full view of Nayeli.

"Her name is Nayeli Zyanya Lahote." I whispered, not wanting to look at his stunned face. "I found out during the fight when Jake imprinted. I wanted to make a better life for her. So I ran away."

Paul had moved to the bedside, shifting the blanket so he could get a good view of her.

"You didn't think I could give her a good life?" He said in a hurt tone.

"Is it about the Reachel thing? Because I told -" I stopped him, I had dropped the Reachel thing long ago. A girl like her was not worth my time or attention.

"I never said you wouldn't give her a good life. I just wanted her away from this wolf stuff. It hurt me so bad, and I was afraid the same would happen to her."

I watched Paul lean down, his arms folding around the small baby as he gazed down with an infatuation that was hard to explain. "The elders would make an exception.

"He replied softly, brushing Nayeli's hair away. "And if not, screw them. They need us more than their secret." He looked over at me. His dark eyes running over me in anticipation. "So you want me a part of her life?"

My breath hitched and I suddenly felt unsure and confused.

"I think so..." Paul stood straight, adjusting the blanket. "Then it's settled, you and Nayeli will stay with me until we sort things out. Dad got married to some lady off the reserve so the house is mine."

"I don't know if moving in together is the right step Paul." I muttered looking up at him in the dim light, trying to make sense of things. His gaze was heavy and soft.

"I know I messed up a lot. But if you let me start over I can be the best person in your life."

"I trusted you once already," I said looking down, his stare was too intimidating. "and all I did was get hurt." His hands were on my face, tilting my chin so I had to look up at him. I could feel his warm breath on my face, while his fall-time gum lingered around us. It had been so long since I had been so close to him that it felt brand new and in it's own way enchanting.

"I told you, I can make things right." Paul breathed huskily, his voice sent a ripple of goosebumps across my back, making me shiver. "You don't have to hurt anymore."

"Can I have my sister back for a few minutes? And then you can go resume the need to suck her face off?" Sam stood in the doorway, looking impatient and cross.

"Fine. But only for a few minutes. We have a lot to talk about." Paul grumbled, moving so I could awkwardly greet Sam. I could have sworn Sam muttered something about sex.

"You're not going to get any peace tomorrow so I figure I hug you and tell you how dumb you were for leaving." Sam said, gripping me tightly "But I am glad you're back." I smiled up at him. "Me too. Micheal is adorable and you're taking good care of him. Emily's taking good care of you."

When Nayeli started to stir I shoved everyone out the door, and moved towards the living room. Around half an hour later, Paul was loading up the truck, carefully buckling the baby in and we headed down the road.

"The house is a mess." Paul said, looking at me sheepishly. "I don't have people over often. Sometimes Emily makes me clean but it's not too bad."

When I got in the house, I wondered what was Paul's definition of not too bad. The sink was stacked with plates, bowls, spoons, cups. Any kind of utensil you could think of, it was there. The table was pushed off to the side in an odd angle while one of the chairs had a basket of maybe clean clothes. In the living room was a rumpled blanket, a pillow and a tower of pizza boxes.

"What the heck Paul." I gasped, a tiny bit of OCD rising in me. "This place is filthy." Paul rubbed his head, "I can clean it tomorrow. Everything will be done." He glanced down at Nayeli as he spoke. "If I had known, it wouldn't be like this."

"It's fine, lets just get some sleep." Paul's room was the only pristine place in the house. We made a makeshift bed for the night and gave Nayeli a bottle and put her down to sleep. I slipped into one of his clean shirts as I burrowed underneath the covers. Feeling Paul beside me was strange and I felt stiff from not knowing what to do.

"I'll clear out my old room tomorrow, we will set up the baby's room in there."

From behind me I could feel Paul's hand resting on the small of my back, hesitantly waiting to see if I moved him away. When I remained still he let it slid over me, curling around my waist and holding me snugly. "I really missed you." He said into my hair, "I promise things will be better this time."

"I missed you too." I whispered back after a long while, staring into the dark and letting subtle silence carry me into the first peaceful sleep I had had in months.