Click. My closed eyes opened to see Sebastian standing in the doorway. His expression was grim, lips pressed together in a firm line and his gaze piercing my soul. I pulled the trigger again, and again, and again, until I pulled it from my temple and looked inside of the chamber. The bullets were gone.
"You took them out!" I accused, throwing the gun to the side. I could feel anger tears begin to fill my eyes.
"I did the night I found you in the bathtub." He replied. His voice was low, solemn, and I could pick out a sense of hurt. But that wasn't going to stop me. I backed up slowly until I found the balcony edge, and I quickly pulled myself up and turned around, trying to push myself off of the edge and fall to my death. But, of course, Sebastian wasn't going to let that happen, and his arms hooked around my waste and pulled me back into his chest, holding me firmly.
"Let me go!" I cried, pushing against him and using my balled up hands to smash against him. It didn't phase him, and he held my hands down with one hand and my waist with his arm. My attempts of struggling were useless, and I was soon after reduced to a mess of unwanted anger tears and the babbling of "I hate you".
Sebastian sat down on the balcony floor with me in his lap, holding me against him. He rubbed my back gently as he sat in silence, perhaps just to let me cry.
"I just want to die, I hate you, I hate you so fucking much!" I cried, my voice shaky from trying to hold composure.
"I'm not going to allow you to do something so petty." Sebastian said simply.
"I don't want to live anymore!"
"And why is that, Hm?" Sebastian's voice had a hint of anger. "Why do you want to die so badly that you would take your own life? In front of someone who loves you, no less!"
"I-"
"In front of someone who has done nothing but care for you and support you from thick to thin? In front of someone who has seen you cry and laugh although he self proclaims that he is heartless? You, Ciel Phantomhive, are a stain to the family name if you dare be so selfish as to commit suicide rather than live long and discover what the world has to offer you." His words stung me hard, each word dripping poison. "I am ashamed to call you my lord or my master if you are as stupid as that." I replied with silence.
I don't know how long we sat like that, my body pushed firmly against his chest and his grip never loosening. As the moon disappeared behind the grey clouds, my heart disappeared from my sleeve.